Plotting Bunnies

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the obvious, the rest belongs to J. and Masashi Kishimoto.

Author's Note: My laptop has been acting against me lately and I've had it off for repairs at least twice. Sorry about that. Please enjoy the story, and I'll try to update everything else soon.

Crossover: Harry Potter & Naruto

Pairing: Itachi/Harry

Warnings: They are young. I can only say shinobi must mature faster, especially Itachi. There is no underage sex, so no worries. Hugs and kisses is all, but you have been warned!

Rating: T

This is not beta-ed!

One-shot # 9: Stolen Child

Every summer the Dursley family went on vacation to Japan, and then through a hidden portal to the large, hidden continent that held what was known to only a few as the Elemental Countries. The reason why the Dursley's – these self-proclaimed examples of complete normalcy and nothing freaky – did this definitely very freaky journey every year, was because Petunia Dursley had a cousin. A cousin that was twice-removed on the maternal side. A twice-removed cousin that was also the wife of a very influential Clan Head.

In short, the only reason that Petunia insisted on this journey year after year to this freaky country of even freakier people, was because she could then come back and brag to people about having a cousin that was married to something that could amount to a minor royal lord.

Vernon Dursley came along for that very same reason, but was also hoping that he might make a good deal on drills every time he went, and especially to a freaky continent that didn't seem to have drills as far as he knew. "Weird people, the whole lot of them. They have electricity and television and perfectly good bathrooms and toilets, but they don't have drills or cars."

Dudley Dursley and Harry Potter, of course, didn't have much to say about it. Dudley thought a village and country full of kick ass ninjas was the coolest thing ever, and Harry simply praised himself lucky that he was allowed to come along at all. Besides, despite what Petunia or Vernon might say, he actually liked the family they always visited.

So, all in all, they all went, and if anyone asked why the family went to Japan for more than a month each summer, Petunia was always quick to tell them all about her very important cousin twice-removed on her mother's side, and no one suspected anything else.

-x-x-x-x-

When Harry was two it was the first time he could actually remember having met his relatives in Konohagakure. Actually, he mostly remembered one person, the others just kind of were blurry and scarily serious and sombre people that never seemed to smile. No, the one person that Harry could remember was a boy a year old than him.

A boy going by the name Uchiha Itachi.

Harry had been sitting alone in the far reaches of the beautiful gardens that surrounded the Uchiha mansion, staring at everything with wide eyes and especially the wonderful flowers that were all around him. Aunt Petunia had told him to go out in the garden and stay there and not make any trouble, and had then proceeded to take Mrs Mikoto's attention by proudly introducing her to Dudley and had gone waxing poetic about the fat two-year-old.

So there he sat alone, amusing himself with the flowers, and humming some nonsense tune quietly to himself, and tried very much not to be in anyone's way. However, he didn't seem to be doing very well in this endeavour because when he stood up to move to another flowerbed, Harry promptly found himself crashing into another young boy, perhaps a year older than him.

Black eyes stared down into green eyes, and the staring continued for a while.

And continued.

And continued.

And it continued until Harry noticed a small cut on the other boy's palm. It wasn't a really deep or dangerous cut, but it was still bleeding. Harry didn't like seeing the cut on the black-haired boy's palm, the other could hardly use his hand with it. Harry knew. He'd had a cut like that a few weeks ago when Aunt Petunia had forced him to help her make dinner despite his very young age. So Harry reached out for the boy's hand and did what he'd done to himself when Aunt Petunia had ignored his cries.

He licked it clean.

The slightly bigger boy seemed utterly shocked and didn't even try to pull away. He simply watched as Harry licked the wound clean, and then refused the green-eyed boy to leave when he tried to. "Boku wa Uchiha Itachi desu. Anata wa dare ka?" ("I am Uchiha Itachi. Who are you?")

Harry didn't understand a word and simply blinked.

Itachi repeated his question.

Harry still didn't understand.

After the fifth time, the green-eyed boy simply walked away, wondering if there was something wrong with the other person when the older boy followed him and insisted on continuing to question him. This happened until they found Mrs Mikoto who seemed to be the only one who knew both Japanese and English, and explained the situation for them both.

Harry hoped that now that they were introduced that Itachi would leave him alone and stop following him, and that Harry could go back to keeping out of everyone's way, but the young Uchiha refused to cooperate and continued to stalk him.

And that's how Harry Potter met Uchiha Itachi.

-x-x-x-x-

(A FEW MORE SCENES BETWEEN H.P. & U.I. AS CHILDREN

INTRODUCING SHISUI

SASUKE'S BIRTH = HARRY'S FIRST HUG WITH ITACHI + KYUUBI ATTACK

ITACHI LEARNING ENGLISH FROM MIKOTO AND TEACHING JAPANESE TO HARRY)

-x-x-x-x-

Harry's first kiss happened when he was nine, and it was to none other than Uchiha Itachi.

It was during yet another month-and-a-half visit to Konohagakure, and when they got there the Dursley's and Harry were told by every Uchiha that they met up with that Itachi had become one of the youngest jounin in Konoha history, only surpassed by a guy known as Hatake Kakashi.

Petunia, Vernon and Dudley were all very, very impressed of course, spending great deal of the time praising the genius Uchiha and generally sucking up. Harry had waited until everyone had calmed down a few days after arrival before he offered his congratulations very haltingly in accented Japanese to Itachi.

They were yet again in the gardens surrounding the Uchiha home, and it was night time. Lamps that were strategically placed around the garden to create the best mood were the lit, and they did their job extremely well. Harry had retreated here as usual when he couldn't take his family's constant congratulations to Itachi, and it hadn't taken long before Itachi himself had followed him outside.

Apparently even geniuses could only take so much grovelling and praise before they feared for their sanity.

"Ome-omedeto goza-i-masu," ("Congratulations,") Harry congratulated the older boy with a smile.

"Thank you," Itachi replied in perfect if a bit accented English, a tiny smile twitching at the corners of his lips and somehow softening the black eyes that usually seemed to be so hard and cold. "I think you, Sasuke and mother are the only ones who are completely honest in your solicitations."

"That can't be true," Harry insisted. But he knew that Itachi had some trouble with his large family, especially his father. He still remembered the hell that Fugaku put a five-year-old Itachi through.

Itachi shrugged and didn't say anything else on the matter, and Harry knew better than to push.

They sat for a while in companionable silence before Harry broke it again. "I should have given you a gift," he muttered. "It's a big occasion for a ninja, but I don't have anything to give you."

"You don't have to." Itachi said, looking over at the green-eyed boy.

"But I want to!" Harry insisted. But what could he get the black-eyed boy? Harry didn't have any money, and he doubted that Aunt Petunia would give him any. She had, of course, forced Dudley out the day after the arrival to get a small present, and the fat tub of lard had returned with several bars of chocolate, half of them already eaten.

"Hmmm..." Itachi looked thoughtful for a minute. "You could give me a kiss."

Green eyes blinked a couple of times. "A... a kiss?"

The older boy nodded. "That can be your present to me."

Harry thought about it. He'd seen Petunia kiss Dudley's cheek and it didn't look too bad despite the fact that Dudley didn't seem to like it. But no boys Harry's age seemed to like being kissed by their mothers, so perhaps it had something to do with girls kissing boys. It seemed icky. But if Harry kissed Itachi's cheek it would probably be alright because they were both boys, right? In the end the green-eyed boy nodded determinately as he reached a decision.

"A-alright," Harry muttered and took a deep breath as if preparing himself for a great plunge. He leaned over towards Itachi on the stone bench they were sitting on, and puckered his lips and aimed for the other's cheek. What he hadn't counted on was Itachi turning his head at the last possible second so that their lips met.

It was a simple touch of lips against lips, nothing else, and yet Harry's eyes grew wide and he flushed brightly before jerking backwards and falling off the bench altogether, a hand covering his mouth. He stared at Itachi who looked very smug and triumphant with himself, and continued to blink in surprise.

All throughout the rest of the summer Itachi continued to suddenly and secretly kiss Harry, and always on the lips. And though the kisses never went past simple lip-on-lip touch, Harry never failed to blush brightly and Itachi never failed to look very satisfied. There were even a couple of close calls with Fugaku or Sasuke or Shisui nearly stumbling across them. The last kiss was given right before the Dursley's were going to leave Konoha. Their bags were packed and waiting by the door, and they were saying their goodbyes when Harry found himself suddenly pulled into the living room rather than hallway where everyone was saying goodbye.

"Itachi, wha-?!" the green-eyed boy yelped as he was pushed against the back of the couch, but was quickly cut off by the older boy when he covered Harry's lips with his own. It was a kiss that lasted longer than any of the others, and Harry was completely out of breath by the time that Itachi finally let up.

"Don't let anyone else kiss you," the jounin muttered instead of a goodbye, and disappeared with the speed of a shinobi.

Harry kept on blushing every time he thought of the kisses for the following months, and was given a lot of weird looks from the Dursley's.

-x-x-x-x-

(A FEW MORE SUMMERS OF KISSING

POSSESSIVE ITACHI

SASUKE IS CUTE!)

-x-x-x-x-

His first year at Hogwarts having just been finished, Harry had a lot on his mind when they finally visited their Uchiha relatives in Konoha. The green-eyed boy was thinking about the entire new world he had discovered and what had happened at the school for magic that year. Despite Dumbledore's kindest words and flowery phrases it all came down to the fact that Harry had actually killed Quirrel. Alright, he had no idea at the time that Quirrel would turn into ash due to Lily Potter's protection, but he had still died.

It didn't shock him as much as Harry thought it would, or even thought it should. Harry supposed it had something to do with all the time he had spent in Konoha amongst the shinobi, and especially Itachi. He was bound to pick up some of their ways, and Itachi had insisted on giving him some light training. And now every one of the wizards seemed to be very vary around him, even Ron and Hermione. He understood why, but it was very annoying.

Itachi was quick to notice that Harry was brooding, but luckily didn't say anything until Harry himself was ready and told the story. He told him about everything, about the wizards, about Voldemort, about his parents, about Hogwarts and the teachers, and about everything that had happened that year.

"And this headmaster is not offering you training despite knowing that Vol-de-mort is after you?" Itachi asked, sounding incredulous – which meant that he really was shocked seeing as he showed feelings very rarely.

"Nope, said nothing about it at all," Harry sighed, "though he did say something about children and precious youth."

"Sounds like Gai," the Uchiha actually had to suppress a shiver at the thought. The world was being overrun by Gais. He shook himself and focused back on Harry. "Well, I will not let that happen. I'll make sure to train you this summer whenever I can."

Harry blinked. "Really?"

"Yes, Sasuke's been asking me to train him too, so you'll have a sparring partner."

"Two birds with one stone, in other words," the green-eyed wizard grinned in amusement. "Ever the shinobi!"

"Of course," Itachi replied in a voice so full of confidence and Uchiha pride that it became rather silly, and Harry giggled a bit. The twelve-year-old sighed and pushed the green-eyed boy back to lie on the grass of the garden, and hovered above Harry, leaning on his elbows placed beside the younger boy's head.

"Itachi?" Harry stared up at the bigger male, but didn't feel scared. With the past two summers of kissing he'd actually begun to take comfort in it. Itachi was the first one to have touched him kindly and shown interest in him and not in hurting him, so there would always be a special place in Harry's heart for him.

Itachi didn't reply verbally, instead choosing to kiss the daylights out of Harry, which the green-eyed boy eagerly responded to. However, what Harry hadn't expected was the sudden introduction of tongue to their kisses, and he shied away when Itachi's tongue ran across his lips for the first time. But the older boy didn't let him retreat or get away for long, and gently took hold of Harry's chin – well, gently for a shinobi – and more or less forced his tongue into Harry's mouth then proceeded to map out every corner and every ridge and every tooth he could get to.

By the end of it, Harry was panting harshly, his cheeks flushed, and staring up at Itachi with surprised eyes.

"See," Itachi murmured, annoying enough not being out of breath like Harry. "It wasn't so bad, was it?"

"B-but you..." the green-eyed boy muttered, trying to string together a coherent sentence. "Wh-why did you do that?"

"Because I wanted to try it."

"But your tongue-!"

"Yes, what of it? It didn't hurt, did it? Then what's the problem? You did like it, didn't you?"

Harry blushed even brighter, but he had to admit that Itachi was right. He did like it, and though it felt a bit weird, it had also felt very good, especially when one got used to it. And boy, did Harry get used to it. Itachi seemed to be an insatiable kisser, going to great lengths to kiss the green-eyed boy whenever and wherever he could. In the mornings he stole a kiss, if they met while in the village proper he hid them away and stole a kiss, at home before and after dinner, and then in the evenings in the garden. Itachi kissed him all the time apart from the few days that he was off on a mission.

Sasuke even caught them once!

"Aniki wa hentai da!" ("Big brother is a pervert!") the little boy declared with a bright blush on his face.

A blush that was only beaten by Harry's own red face – which he desperately hid in Itachi's shoulder finding that to be the closest hiding place. Not that it helped much, but it made Harry feel a bit better. Itachi simply smirked and shushed his little brother, then said something about secrets in Japanese. Harry wasn't sure; he was far too embarrassed to be paying much attention.

"I think we just scarred your little brother for life!" Harry squeaked after the little boy left, and looked up at the Uchiha. "If Sasuke turns out to like boys too, your parents will never forgive me!"

Itachi smirked, and didn't let Harry escape. "Oh, do not worry. Sasuke was corrupted a long time ago."

"Eh?! But he's only six!"

"He can now boast to having beaten me in something. Early bird gets the worm and all that."

"That doesn't have anything to do with this! Hey, Itachi! Oi! Sto-!"

Kissing ensued again with a very eager and pushy Itachi, and a poor Harry who really couldn't bring himself to stop it. Stupid shinobi and their stupid jutsu and stupid Uchiha's who were far too good at kissing to be legal.

-x-x-x-x-

(MORE WILD TONGUE-KISSING

THE UCHIHA MASSACRE THAT DID NOT HAPPEN)

-x-x-x-x-

Uchiha Itachi was one perverted and possessive bastard. Not only had he stolen Harry's first hug, Harry's first kiss, and Harry's first kiss which involved tongue, but he apparently was fully intent on stealing everything else from the green-eyed teen. Not that Harry really protested, he was far too happy to have a very handsome shinobi vying for his attention – it certainly beat having Rita Skeeter or Minister Fudge do it – but he thought that Itachi could have asked at least instead of simply taking everything.

However, the next step in their very long relationship was taken under a more depressing and more sombre mood.

Harry and the Dursley's had been visiting with the Uchihas for over a week by the time that Itachi finally showed up. That particular evening the Mrs Mikoto and her husband Fugaku had been invited to dine with the Hokage, and the invitation had been extended to Sasuke and the Dursley's too. Harry had, of course, been invited as well, but he'd declined the offer. Not only was Uncle Vernon's furious glare a very obvious hint, but the green-eyed teen had wanted to stay behind and think about what had happened during his fourth year at Hogwarts, Voldemort's resurrection and Cedric nearly dying.

'The only reason that Cedric didn't die is because Itachi has given me some training during the summers,' Harry thought to himself, feeling a bit pissed off at Dumbledore for knowing the dangers and still refusing to train him like a proper wizard, instead putting faith in luck and the innocence of youth or whatever.

The house around him was completely dark and silent. As said, everyone else was out, and Harry himself was just getting ready to get to bed, taking a last check around the house to make sure that windows and doors were locked. Not that it would help against a village full of shinobi, but it made Harry feel a bit more secure.

Dressed in a sleeping yukata that Mrs Mikoto had gifted him with, the green-eyed teenager traversed the silent and dark corridors like a ghost, and he was just about to enter the guest room that was designated as 'his', when the window at the end of the corridor suddenly opened and a white-armoured and white-masked shinobi stepped in. Harry had been told about the ANBU, and knew that this was one such shinobi at once, but it still didn't stop him from reacting.

Harry gasped in surprise.

The ANBU looked up, eyes focusing on Harry.

In the next second the ANBU stood in front of the green-eyed teen, and said teen's yelp of surprise was quickly muffled and cut off by a black-gloved hand covering Harry's mouth firmly, though the ANBU was obviously very careful to not cover the slightly smaller teen's nose. "Do not make any noise, Harry."

Green eyes blinked several times. "I-Itachi?" Harry whispered in surprise once the other's hand was removed.

Itachi removed his mask. He looked tired and worn. "It is good to see you again, Harry."

"You look like hell!" Without thinking Harry pulled the older teen into his own room, and made him sit down on the bed. "You need some serious rest, Itachi. When was the last time you got any sleep?"

The ANBU started counting on his fingers.

"Right, right, forget I asked. Insane shinobi." Harry grumbled as he clambered onto the bed behind the Uchiha, and tried to help with the removal of weapons and white armour. "Uhm... is it okay for me to see you like this? Aren't ANBU all secret and such?"

"Don't worry about it. Everyone else knows thanks to the bragging of the Uchiha Clan," Itachi replied and gratefully leaned backwards against Harry once his armour and weapons were taken off.

"Hey, Itachi, don't use me as a mattress!" Harry protested, but he didn't mind all that much. And when Itachi didn't reply and didn't move away, the wizard sighed, rolled his eyes and then moved them both to lie properly on the bed. He finally got away from playing Itachi's pillow, and had just settled down on the bed to sleep, when he was suddenly pulled backwards until he was lying with his back pressed up against Itachi's front and a bright blush settling on his features. "Itachi!"

"Yes?"

"Will you let go of me? I didn't go from being your mattress to being your teddy bear!"

"Just go to sleep, Harry," the shinobi muttered, his arm staying firmly wrapped around Harry's waist and the smaller teen firmly pressed up against him, enough for Harry to feel ever inch of the hard muscles that covered the other's body.

"B-but... y-you... oh, damn!" Harry huffed and gave up.

They spent the night like that more than once during the summer since Itachi had apparently suddenly gained distaste for sleeping in his own room, and would always sneak into Harry's in the middle of the night – if he didn't simply stalk the green-eyed teen when said teen went to bed, and refused to leave no matter what. After a few times of trying to get an answer out of the shinobi, Harry simply gave up and let him do as he wished, besides, it wasn't as though Harry really minded sleeping in the same bed as Itachi.

However, it was also a very busy summer for Itachi as a shinobi, missions of the higher ranks kept coming in and shinobi were sent out. And since these missions were high classification, it meant that every shinobi ranked below tokubetsu jounin couldn't be sent out and the ANBU, Oi-nin and jounin were almost run ragged.

That also included Itachi, and Harry was never certain when he would wake up to find the shinobi completely gone. Or, sometimes he even went to bed alone and when woke up in the morning to find that Itachi had returned and had snuck into Harry's bed again. Often the clothes and white armour that Itachi shed before climbing into the bed would be covered with stains of blood, and the genius Uchiha usually looked completely exhausted and, in his sleep, he also looked much burdened by what he'd been forced to do.

Fugaku and the rest of the Uchiha Clan seemed to think nothing was wrong, and never offered any sort of comfort that Harry could see, so the green-eyed teen took up the role of taking care of Itachi. In the few weeks that he was there, Harry figured he could give Itachi at least some good memories – hopefully – and perhaps those would be enough to make amends for the horrible and terribly rude way that Dudley was constantly acting.

-x-x-x-x-

There. Please tell me what you think.

I meant to write out how Harry and Itachi's relationship progressed through the years, but that obviously didn't happen. I am sorry about the abrupt ending and the random breaks in bold Caps Lock which denote what would have happened had I bothered to write more, but this is all you get. I don't think this story will ever be finished.

Thanks to:

White Ivy, Shi-koi, skyflyte12, lildevil425, CharmedbyFire, BlueIceSpirit, Zephyrus Genesis, Felixia, Namesake, Ore no Naruto, Blades of Silver, Catzi, Mask of Lies, Apocalyptical, Dragonmage182, Snowfire the Kitsune, ShaShiSar221, Hikari Kaiya, Firehedgehog, animaluvr123, senna-robbins, Toastzilla, World's Neighbor, Yuki Hikaru, Jadoku Tsubasa, Sony Boy, Key Shinigami, AyumiFallassion, hey, Sharingan-Youkai, Chosha Kurenai, Dysgrammatophobia, Nightmaric, Lyra, Ravenclaw Samurai, and Madbunnyrabbit.