Thank you to all who reviewed my work. I really appreciate it, now this chapter is a little shorter then the others but I hope it has a good impact on all of you. Enjoy this chapter.


Louise felt pain when she came to after the explosion as she felt like she was stabbed with a hundred swords as she wondered if she was dead. She shouldn't be dead if she could feel pain, but anything was possible in the afterlife, she groaned as she slowly opened her eyes as the first thing she saw was the ceiling as she blinked a couple of times, "She's awake," Alicia cried out as she then turned to saw Alicia there next to her, "hey there," she said smiling, "how are you feeling?"

"Bad," Louise said as she tried to move, but her whole body ached so much that she just gave up on that.

"Well a grenade explosion could do that to you," Alicia said as Louise turned to her right and saw Alexander there smiling at him.

"What happened?" Louise asked, "I remember the grenade, but I blacked out afterwards."

"Well we won," Alicia stated, "that's the short version. Long version is that we dragged you out after you got hit and got you to a medic pronto before they shipped you to the capital to get treatment here."

"Well good to hear," Louise said, "winning I mean. How long was I out for?"

"A week," Alexander said.

"Well I guess I'm here for another day I suppose then I guess I'll be joining you guys right?" Louise said optimistically as Alicia bit her lip while Alexander looked somber. "What's wrong?"

"You haven't noticed Louise? About your eye?" Alicia asked as Louise took a step back to assess herself, now that she thought about it she was only seeing from one eye and she could feel a bandage on her left eye as she touched it briefly.

"Well it's just an injury right?" Louise said, "It's nothing major, probably have a scar at the very least."

"Louise..." Alexander said scratching his arm nervously, "the shrapnel from the grenade...it did more then just give you a scar..."

"W-what are you saying?" Louise asked, "Alexander you're scaring me...what happened?"

"Louise there's...there's no easy way to say this but..." Alicia said as she held Louise's hand, "your left eye it's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Louise asked as her heart hammered against her as she gripped the blanket tighter.

"The shrapnel from the grenade, it completely tore your left eye, god there was so much blood...I thought you were dead," Alicia said as she shook from the memory, "you were lucky the scarf protected your neck or you would have really died. The medic took care of all your other injuries but your eye...I'm so sorry Louise," as Louise was in complete shock. She had never imagined, in all the time fighting, that she would actually lose something; sure she knew she would get injured and probably get a few cuts and scrapes but to actually lose an eye? It was almost like a nightmare as she looked at Alicia in disbelief.

"N-no...tell me you're joking...i-it can't be," Louise said as she touched the bandage over her left eye again, she could almost feel the eye still there, it wasn't possible that she had lost the eye as she hyperventilated as the thought of it was real as she shook her head in disbelief.

"Hey Louise calm down-" Alicia said.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I LOST A EYE GODDAMNIT! AN EYE!" Louise shrieked as Alicia flinched away from Louise as Louise began breaking down, the exterior that she had always displayed was gone, all that remained was just a scared girl with one eye left as she curled up on the bed and whimpered. Alicia was speechless and didn't know what to say while Alexander put a reassuring hand on her head as he stroked it.

"It'll be okay Louise, it'll be fine," he said softly as Louise just remained in the fetal position as her mind tried to come to terms that this was now real, she could have very well died in that grenade explosion and she had paid the price by losing an eye. Doubt of whether she could truly survive this war began to surface as she just wanted to do nothing more then go home right now, she regretted ever leaving the academy in the first place and getting into this mess, she regretted not giving Wardes a chance. Perhaps she truly made a grave mistake coming to this world and perhaps the price for that mistake was death as she became more frightened by the prospect of dying as she clutched the bedsheets tighter.

"Louise...uhm...I know it may not be much of anything, but...you got a medal, two medals actually, for your services in the siege," Alicia said hesitantly as Louise couldn't give a damn about medals. They didn't mean much to her, or anyone, in this situation and they just served as nothing more then decorations as she grunted in response. "Everyone's been wondering about you, Suzie practically comes here everyday, and Alexander...he hasn't left your side since you got admitted here."

"Alicia," Alexander groaned as a sliver of a smile came to Louise's face, at least there were those who came and cared for her, it wasn't much of a condolence though. She still had to live the rest of her life, if it came to that, with only one eye and she wondered what kind of changes would occur to her. Would she still be allowed to fight on the field? Or was that the end of her military career? If so then what should she do? She still had no idea how to get home, or if she could even get to home, she would have to live off the charity of others and as a noble that was a bit hard to swallow.

She was used to a life of luxury and comfort, not to something like this, she knew that the Masons would welcome her with open arms; but she couldn't rely on them for the rest of her life. Perhaps she would be transferred to a non-combat unit, and that meant she would be away from squad 13 and away from Alexander as she sighed, would he still want to follow her? Would he be allowed to? If she wasn't at his side then she wouldn't be able to protect him and fulfill her promise to his parents. The door then opened as a doctor came in, "Ah you're awake, how are you feeling?"

"Physically, mentally or emotionally?" Louise asked somberly.

"Ah so you know...yes I'm sorry that had to happen," the doctor said somberly.

"It's fine..." Louise said even though she was lying to herself as it wasn't fine, it was anything but fine, however she couldn't face the reality of it...she just couldn't. "What's going to happen to me now?"

"Well now we have to make sure that you're fine as physically and emotionally as possible, before we start on rehabilitation," the doctor said.

"Will I...will I ever be able to fight again?" Louise asked as the doctor frowned as he took a seat.

"To be quite honest if this was a normal wartime situation then I say that your military career was over and that you'll be transferred to a non-combat role," as Louise looked down.

"You said normal...so that means I can fight on the field?" Louise said.

"That's your choice, we need all the men we can get to fight on the frontlines, however I've never known a soldier who wouldn't take a free pass out of combat for the rest of the war," the doctor said.

Louise looked down on the sheet as she deliberated on it, on the one hand she would be out of the battle and she would 100% be able to survive the war because of her non-combat role excluding an invasion of the capital. However at the same time...she could not shrug off her want to protect her comrades, the friends that she made in squad 13, she did not want to abandon them and have them fight while she was safe. But she was so conflicted on what she wanted to do as she bit her lip as her inner turmoil was threatening to consume her, "C-can I...can I take a day to think about it?"

"Certainly just come find me when you're ready with your decision," the doctor said and after some checks he left the room wishing Louise a speedy recovery.

"Are you...are you thinking about transferring to another unit?" Alicia asked, "I don't blame you if you do especially with what happened..."

"I don't know..." Louise said, "I just don't know...I...I'm so confused."

"Take your time," Alexander said, "we won't pressure you to do something you don't want to do."

"Yeah," Alicia said, "after all you done for us it's your choice what your future is going to be."

"Thank you..." Louise muttered, "I'm sorry, but could you...please leave? I want to be alone," she didn't want to have anyone with her today. She just wanted to be lost in her thoughts and her own feelings as they nodded and left the room as Alexander gave Louise her scarf, patched up since it was damaged by the shrapnel before he smiled at her. The instant that they left the room the tears started to flow as she cried and cried, she had never felt so lost before in her life, not since the academy where she failed the ritual. She just felt scared about the future, so scared, as she just spent most of the time crying and thinking about what to do as her inner conflict became a maelstrom of doubt and fears as it continued a cycle of doubt, fear, hope and then doubt once more.

The afternoon quickly arrived as the setting sun gave a orange hue to the room as Louise was sitting by the window looking out of it, she had still not decided on what she wanted to do and she wondered what to do as she fingered the scarf feeling every thread on it as she thought about Alexander and if he would be alright without her. The door then opened and Louise expected a nurse to come by and check on her, not Suzie Rose, as her mouth dropped slightly as Suzie smiled at her. "Hello Miss Valliere are you okay? Oh how silly of me of course you're not what I meant is if uhm...if you...well..." Suzie stammered.

"It's okay," Louise said, "I'm fine...have a seat," as Suzie sat opposite Louise as she looked out the window, "how have you been?"

"I've been well Miss Valliere," Suzie said nervously, "it's been a bit hard since you left, but Luna's been defending me...I think she feels responsible for me."

"Well...after what happened I suppose she thinks differently about the whole concept of cowardice," Louise said with a slight smile.

"How are you coping?" Suzie asked softly.

"Fine I suppose, had a little trouble grabbing things and with walking, but other then that I'm functioning okay."

"I see...will you...be leaving squad 13 then? I mean can you still fight?"

"I would probably need to be re-trained on how to fight with one eye only if I do go back to the field, but most likely it'll take some time. And...I'm still not sure whether or not I should join the fight or not...it's a difficult decision."

"I can understand that, if it was me I would probably take the free pass out of combat and be stuck in some administrative duty. But that's just me," Suzie said with a slight laugh as she then looked at Louise with, dare she say it, affectionate look. "Uhm...Miss Valliere-"

"Please call me Louise...you don't need to be so formal with me," Louise said as Suzie blushed slightly.

"O-okay Louise I...I've been thinking about things, about my role in this war, and...and I'm thinking of actually fighting," Suzie said as Louise tilted her head in confusion.

"What do you mean? I thought you hate fighting?" Louise asked.

"I do," Suzie exclaimed, "I think that war is a horrible and terrible thing; it brings nothing but death and destruction. However...however I'm probably not the only one thinking like that, I'm sure there are others who don't want to fight in that war, but despite that they keep on fighting and don't run away. How can I selfishly run away while others are fighting? It's not fair of them so...so that's why from now on I'm going to fight with all I've got, I'm going to learn from other people and I'm going to end this war as fast as possible. And it's all thanks to you Louise."

"W-what do you mean?" Louise asked in surprise.

"You've inspired me to be better then myself, when I hid there I knew that there wouldn't be many who would defend me, I was prepared to be an outcast in squad 13 and would probably suffer a lot. But then...then you came and defended me, even though all the others didn't want to associate with me you did...you and Alexander helped that pain in my chest, the pain of loneliness, to ease a little and I was so happy. I want to be like you Louise, a woman who is strong and doesn't care what other people think of me, I want to be the best soldier I can be so one day I can tell everyone that I fought in the war and I served my country," Suzie explained with pride in her voice as Louise found herself blushing slightly.

She looked at her and she could also see the determination in Suzie, a determination that was not unlike Louise when she first told everyone that even though she might not be able to properly do magic she would still strive to be the best she can be. At that time everyone just laughed at her and probably still do, but that motivation and determination set her apart from all the others...it drove her and continued to motivate her; it became part of her.

She could see herself in Suzie, a girl trapped in a role she doesn't want to play but yet must play, Suzie accepted it with grace and perhaps...just maybe Louise still had a role to play in this little war. Louise could feel that determination, that spark of passion that was her, swell in her chest as she felt more and more confident by the second as she looked out to the window and into her soul before arriving at the decision. "Suzie..." Louise began.

"Yes?" Suzie asked.

"If...if I decide to go back to the field will you...will you be there by my side? Along with all the other squads?" Louise asked, it was a strange question but she needed to know if she would have the support of others, or would she go alone in this? It didn't mind either way but some friends would help...

Suzie positively beamed when she heard this as she nodded, "Of course Louise, I will always be there for you just as you have for me, wherever you go I'll follow you," she said grabbing Louise's hand as Louise looked at her in surprise before smiling.

"Well then...I think I know what my answer is going to be," Louise said.

Later that day the doctor came back to hear her verdict as she told him what she wanted: to continue fighting with her comrades and to end this war as quickly as possible so that no other lives would need to be taken. The doctor told her that she would need to be re-trained in combat techniques, especially since her depth perception would be out of balance and it would make judging distances hard. She also need to re-orient herself with walking and doing normal things, again because of depth perception, as well as a thousand other things that escaped her. But that did not deter her as she looked at the doctor and told him, "I'm Louise Valliere, I will not surrender to such trials, I'll do anything to protect my friends," as the doctor was somewhat amused, but told her that he would look forward to seeing that determination.