Here is the edited version of chapter 9. A huge cheer for my beta BB100 – Kaiti, who practically co-authored this chapter with me.
Also, be sure to check out my profile for the link to this chapters song, "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy. Enjoy!
RPOV
Waiting for Bella was proving to be an impossible task. If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't even be talking to dream boy right now.
I wanted to get back to our room and to talk to Alice. I need to find out if she was okay. She never really explained what happened between her and Jasper. I knew that she fell in love with him, gave him her virginity, then caught him kissing some other girl the next day.
Pig.
But beyond that, I had no idea what had happened between them. I knew none of the details of their short relationship.
As much as I was concerned about Alice though, I wanted to see Emmett again. I gave him my room number and told him to meet me at 2 am in the hallway. That should be enough time to talk to Alice, prepare myself for bed, wait for the girls to fall asleep, and then sneak out.
My thoughts turned to the events of tonight. When I first approached Emmett, I assumed that he would just be another great lay. His body was spectacular, his curly hair long enough to run my fingers through, his dimples cute enough to add a little charm.
Then I started to see the Emmett beneath the body. It's didn't take much. He was very trusting and obviously interested in me. He seemed to enjoy the aggressive banter between us and didn't take it too far like most men did. I shuddered at the thought of the many nights when things got out of hand.
But I quickly pushed those thoughts away from me. Emmett was different. I knew it the second he pressed his lips to my ear and whispered:
"You're safe with me."
It was almost as if he knew my life story. In that instant, I felt like an open book. I did what I thought was a normal reaction and slapped him. I felt bad the moment I did it, but he just smiled at me, and I couldn't help but smile back.
He leaned in again, not easily threatened.
"Rosalie, everything is going to be okay."
How did he know so much about me?
I instinctively reached up to slap him again. This time he stopped me. He grabbed my arm gently and held it there. I was really smiling now. He just stared back at me, with an almost sad look in his eyes.
What is going on here?
At that point Bella finally decided to join us. I wasn't ready for my moment with Emmett to end. I made quick introductions, putting on the bubbly façade again. I knew that once Bella met Edward, she would leave me alone.
Something was bothering her, but I couldn't quite bring myself to care at the moment. With Bella, it was usually just an overreaction, and I couldn't be bothered with her problems right now.
Once I made sure that Bella and Edward had been properly introduced, I turned my attention back on Emmett. He had been staring at me the whole time, and it was making me nervous.
I stared back at him, just trying to figure him out. Without a word, he took my hand and led me out to the dance floor. I barely heard the music. I stared directly into his eyes and he just stared right back. We were communicating on a level that I had never experienced before.
There were no words, just our swaying bodies. He had his hands on my lower back, pressing me gently to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life.
Dancing with Emmett had been more intimate than I ever could have imagined, and not necessarily in the sexual way I was used to. Don't get me wrong, there was definite sexual energy flowing through the air between us, but that wasn't the only draw I felt.
When the song was over and the music died down, I distinctly heard Bella's high pitched angry voice. For a moment it was easy to forget about Emmett and find out why my friend sounded so pissed off. Heaven help the poor bastard that messed with my girls; hell hath no fury on the evil that is Rosalie Hale.
I wasn't prepared for the blonde man that Bella was screaming at. He was very good looking and had the most pitiful demeanor. I wasn't aware that Bella could handle herself so well in an argument. All the same, I rushed to her side to make sure everything was under control.
Imagine my surprise to find the blond just happened to be Jasper; Alice's Jasper. It took me a minute to remember the name, but the recognition hit me like a punch in the gut.
Images of Alice's pained face flashed through my mind and I just lost it. I knew I had to get out of there before I did something I probably wouldn't regret.
I couldn't believe it when Emmett said this jerk was a friend of his. If Emmett was anything like his friend, I was gone.
Once Bella informed me that Alice had already gone back to the room, I wanted to take my anger out on her for allowing Alice to go alone. I redirected and decided it was just best that we leave now before I exploded.
Leaving was not so easy. I had nearly forgotten about Emmett, already a casualty to my reaction of him being associated with Jasper in any way.
Jaspers plea for understanding was causing the vomit to rise in my throat. He said his piece and left.
'Now can we go?' I thought.
Nope, of course not, Edward wanted a word with Bella.
Pathetic.
Even though she knew Edward was probably just as much of a sleaze as Jasper, she was still willing to give him the time of day.
Five minutes was all I was willing to wait for her. I stormed off, leaving Bella behind, only to be followed by Emmett.
I made it out side before I rounded on him.
"What the fuck do you want, Emmett? I'm not interested!"
I didn't even want to look at him. Not that I really had a choice. He grabbed my face and kissed me. His lips were tender, but urgent.
My mind turned to mush. All of the anger suddenly flowed out of me and I wrapped my hands around his neck and kissed him back. I was hooked.
He was kissing me with so much passion that my knees started to get weak. He moved his hands from my face to my shoulders, down my sides and around my back. He pressed me to him, and I wrapped my arms tighter around his back, curling my hands into his hair.
He smelled fabulous, like aftershave and woodsy cologne. He tasted like beer and peppermint. He felt warm and strong. He was safe.
I had never had such a reaction to a man before. When I met someone I was interested in, it was usually a very chaste and unemotional connection. Men only wanted one thing from me and up until now, I was okay with that. My body got what it craved, and my mind was free from the relationship garbage.
Now, before I even realized it was happening, Emmett was stealing my heart. I wanted him to know my body as well as my mind. The butterflies in my stomach and the racing of my heart were telling me this was different. He was different.
Emmett ended the kiss before I was ready, breaking away slowly and staring into my eyes. We were both breathless. I don't think even he was prepared for how that kiss was going to make us feel.
"Room 1257," I blurted out.
"When?" he asked, breathless.
"Tonight. Two AM. Meet me outside my room."
"Okay," he panted.
He took my hand, raised it to his lips and kissed it softly. Who knew a man with so much strength and prowess could be go gentle. I watched him walk away and took a deep breath to collect myself.
It was nearly eleven now and I couldn't wait for Bella anymore. I flipped open my phone and dialed impatiently.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
"Hello?"
"Bella! Where the hell are you? Are you coming or not?!"
"Yes, I'll be right there. Two minutes, Rosalie."
She sounded out of breath and flustered.
Had I just interrupted something between her and Edward?
I didn't even bother to ask. I just hung up, so she could get going already.
Throwing my phone in my purse, I paced up and down the deck. What was I going to do when I saw Emmett?
Maybe I shouldn't sleep with him. This is something different. I shouldn't screw it up by having sex with him right away.
Right, I needed ground rules: boundaries.
I stopped and faced the club, looking through the glass doors for Bella.
Finally! There she is! Oh man she looks pissed!
I was about to meet her halfway, but I noticed Edward behind her.
God, what a fucking puppy!
Whoa! Did he just grab her? Oh hell no!
I was making my way back into the club, when I saw Bella turn around again. Maybe I wouldn't have to beat the shit out of this fucktard after all.
All of a sudden, Bella was whipped around again and before I could stop him, he was kissing her!
Wait, who's the fire crotch? Christ that was fast. Well, fast for Bella.
Didn't Emmett just do the same damn thing to me? What is with these guys?
I watched intently as Bella slowly turned around, and headed in my direction. She didn't even look at me, just stared straight ahead, looking stunned and confused.
"What was that?" I practically had to yell at her.
She still wouldn't look at me, but jumped a little when I spoke to her. Then, there it was, a huge smile enveloped her face.
Oh gawd!
"I don't know, Rosalie. I really don't know."
She brought her fingers to her mouth and lightly brushed her lips. She looked at me then, and I could see the stars in her eyes.
"Wait a minute, what happened toyou?"
"Me?"
What the hell is she talking about?
"God, Rose. Your lips are swollen and pink and you look like you've seen David Beckham. Jesus, you're blushing!"
Me? Blushing? No way.
"Cut the shit, Bella. You're just seeing what you want to see. Can we go check on Alice now?"
I really didn't want to talk about this. I especially didn't want Bella to know my reaction to Emmett. I had a tough exterior to uphold.
I started walking towards our room, but Bella caught up with me.
"Rose!"
She pulled my arm and made me look at her.
"Oh wow! I've never seen you like this! He must have made quite an impression," she finished with a smirk.
I scowled at her.
"You have no idea what you're talking about."
I was surprised to hear her laughing at me.
"Rose, suck it up. It's finally happened for you. You're twitter-patted."
"I'm what?!"
"You know, Bambi with Thumper…twitter-patted."
I thought about the movie for a moment. Thumper… Emmett… and then I couldn't stop myself. I smiled.
APOV
I made it to my room successfully without breaking down again. As soon as the door clicked closed behind me, I fell. The levee crumbled and the tears flowed mercilessly.
Everything hurt all over. It felt like some invisible force had a death grip on my heart, and any minute now it was going to explode.
I didn't even bother to crawl to the bed. The bathroom was closer, so I managed my way to the cold hard tile, grabbed a towel and lay down.
How could I have been so stupid? I thought I was over this. Two years have gone by.
I needed to think of a plan to deal with this rationally. Here we were, stuck at sea. The ship was pretty big. I could avoid him as much as possible. The reality was that I knew he was here. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from looking for him around every corner.
Bring on the pain. Of course I would want to see him.
He was here, on a singles cruise. That must mean he isn't still with her. He's available.
Snap out of it, Alice! So what if he's single! He hurt you too much! If he loved you like he said he did, he wouldn't have done what he did. He doesn't want you! He never did, never will!
The sudden realization brought on a whole new round of tears. I'm surprised my wailing didn't elicit a knock from security, wondering who was killing their cat.
My tears had been stifled into quaint sobs when I heard the door click open.
"Alice?"
I heard footsteps enter the room and the door close behind them. I tried to pull myself up off the floor, but this little ball of energy was expired. Who knows if the spark and flare I once prided myself on would ever reappear.
"In here," I managed to croak out.
"Oh my God, Alice! I'm so sorry we left you like that! I had no idea until Bella told me and then we came as fast as we could."
Rosalie was in panic mode. I was missing something here. She never got flustered.
"Its okay, Rosalie. I just wanted to be alone for a bit. I needed this time to think."
She kneeled on the floor beside me, and pulled me into her lap. I couldn't help it, the tears started to flow again.
Bella sat down beside us with a box of tissues and started to move my hair away from my face. She dabbed at the running mascara and the ever flowing stream of tears, but it was no use, they just kept coming.
"Alice, honey, we have something to tell you," Bella was mumbling, so I knew it must be bad.
"W-What is i-it."
"We met Jasper."
I sat straight up and the tears magically ceased. I looked from her to Rosalie, who both had stoic looks on their faces.
"What do you mean you met him? You don't even know what he looks like!"
"Well, it was by accident really," Rosalie chimed in. "There were these guys at the bar.."
"Oh my God, Rosalie! You were hitting on him? Typical!"
"Hey, that's not fair! And no, I was not hitting on him! I was hitting on his friend!"
"Alice," Bella said in a soothing voice. "He wants to talk to you. He wants to explain himself."
"Are you on his side, Bella?"
"No, Alice! I don't even know what happened! You never told us! I'm just saying, he saw you too, and he was pretty broken up about it. He ran all over the ship looking for you."
"Look, there are things I didn't tell you about Jasper for a reason."
They both looked at me expectantly; I guess waiting for me to continue. I took a deep breath, and everything just came pouring out.
"Jasperwasmyteacher"
They both gasped at my admission, but didn't say anything. I continued.
"So, he was my teacher and I had this really huge crush on him. I used to go to class and be completely distracted by him, and wouldn't learn a thing. Remember when I bought that recorder?"
Both girls nodded their heads, but appeared too shocked to speak.
"I figured if I could record the lesson then I could work on my sketches and replay them later. Well even when I tried to ignore him, his voice would still put me in some kind of trance. Instead of sketching my designs, I would be doodling very inappropriate scenes of Jasper and I."
They snickered at this. They knew my very detailed artistic talent and how crude my fantasies could sometimes be.
"I was off in my own little world in his class, listening to his musical voice and drawing out my fantasies for the whole world to see - not that I even realized that anyone was paying any attention. Of course, the inevitable happened and Jasper caught me right in the middle of a very steamy illustration that involved rulers and lots of scotch tape."
I thought back for a minute on how red his face was when he saw it. There was no mistaking the Professor Whitlock title I had scrawled above his head and that the black haired pixie he was spanking was me.
"Alice?"
Rosalie snapped her fingers in front of me.
"You still with us?"
I shook my head and cleared the visual. Remembering what he said though still brought a smile to my face.
"Mrs. Brandon, please stay after class so I can have a word with you."
I remembered he had leaned in close, so that the entire class would not hear him. His breath had been hot on my neck, and he smelled so good.
"Yeah," I breathed out.
"Well? What happened?!"
Bella was kneeling on the floor next to Rosalie who was now sitting Indian style. Both of them were toying with imaginary objects in their hands and their eyes were as wide as saucers.
I had to laugh at their reaction. I guess I should have told them all of this sooner.
"Well at least she is smiling and laughing now," Bella said happily.
"Yeah, wouldn't you be laughing your ass off if you saw the picture she just described?"
It was silent for a moment while we all pondered what Rosalie had said. Moments later, we were all sprawled out on the bathroom floor, laughing hysterically.
I relaxed a bit, and the pain in my chest seemed to subside. I took another deep breath and began again.
"So, imagine my surprise when I noticed the immediate hard-on Mr. Whitlock was sporting after he saw my little picture."
The girls gasped again, but I continued.
"He asked me to stay after class, and it was almost too much. I was grinning from ear to ear and didn't even try to hide it. He noticed and smiled at me. I had just about come undone at that point.
"I didn't know if he was going to ask me to transfer to another class or tie me up and screw me. His face didn't give away anything.
"I don't know how, but he finished his lecture from behind his desk and didn't look at me for the entire hour. I was so embarrassed, yet I was super excited to think that maybe one of my fantasies would be played out on his desk."
The girls were in full giggle mode at this point, and I hadn't even gotten to the best part. I cleared my throat to signal I was ready to continue.
"Class ended and everyone shuffled out. I was so nervous, you guys have no idea. I got my stuff and walked to the front of the room. After everyone left, he finally got up and closed the door. Girls, let me tell you, he was still rock hard."
They both squealed at this and I was happy to have set the tone properly. I grabbed a tissue and sniffled a little bit, most traces of my recent crying fit were over.
"He wasn't even trying to hide it. God, I don't even know how to tell you this. It was just so amazing you had to be there."
I was blushing now, something I never did.
"Anyway, here goes. He walked towards me and I was kind of just frozen in shock. He was like a jungle cat stalking his prey. He got close enough that I could hear him breathing. I will still in a state of awe and couldn't move. He put both of his hands on either side of my hips and leaned in to whisper the most amazing thing I have ever heard in my life."
"What?!" they both yelled. "What did he say?!"
I tried my best to get the most seductive Jasper voice I could muster.
"Alice, you've been a bad, bad girl. I think you need a spanking."
Bella and Rosalie started screaming at this. I was hoping this would be the kind of reaction I would get.
"Yeah, so needless to say, I was instantly wet. I didn't know what to do, and he was just staring at me. So I hopped up on his desk, got on all fours, and asked him to punish me."
"Shut up! No you didn't!" Rosalie screamed. "That is a total Hale move Brandon. I am fucking proud of you!"
"I learn from the best," I chided. "Would you like me to go on?"
Both girls nodded their head vigorously.
"I think the Professor got kind of nervous at that point. I mean, here I was, a student, and here he was, my teacher, and there we were, well…you understand how that would have looked if someone were to walk in at that moment."
Both of them groaned in disappointment.
"It's okay, though. I mean, you both know what happened. He told me in not so many words that he could get in a lot of trouble, but that he had noticed my drawings before and couldn't resist temptation anymore. We had to keep everything on the down low. He made me swear to not even tell you guys."
"But Alice, I still don't understand. All of that pent up sexual energy, but you still didn't have sex with him until the night before…"
I cut Bella off before she could continue.
"We all know what happened, I don't need any reminders. But, to answer your question, yes. It was actually him who decided not to get into a sexual relationship with me so fast. He had just gotten out of a really bad relationship with someone and he was my professor. You know, neither of us wanted things to get messy. I really didn't even expect things to get so emotionally connected between us. At first, he was just my teacher that I had a crush on."
"Yeah, well you still only went out on a few dates before you fucked him. How strong of an emotional connection can there be in that amount of time?"
I rolled my eyes at Rosalie. Of course she wouldn't know.
"First, I didn't just fuck Jasper. We made love."
Rosalie scrunched up her nose at that, but I went on.
"It was beautiful, and painful, and glorious, and everything I ever imagined it could be. Even after it all, I will never regret Jasper as my first. He was patient and gentle, and I think that's what made it harder when I saw him the next day. It really felt like he loved me. He cared about me and took his time, and I trusted him with every fiber of my being."
I thought I heard Bella sigh, but talking like this was starting to make the tears well up in my eyes again.
"You know what happened after that. And that's it. It was over. He tried to call and I know there were a few nights that he slept outside my door. I just couldn't bring myself to see him."
Bella cleared her throat, and I could tell she was on the verge of tears herself.
"You know Alice, Rosalie and I both stood up for you out there. But, I could see the look in his eyes. He was devastated. He really wants to talk to you. If you think that you are ready to hear him out, he wanted me to tell you that he will be in the library at noon tomorrow. I don't really think he's expecting you to come, but he wanted you to have the option. He said he'd wait all day."
I stared off at nothing in particular, not really knowing what to say. How could I make this decision now? This was so unexpected.
"Listen, just think about it. If anything, it could bring you closure. You don't have to accept any excuse he is willing to give you. Just listen to what he has to say. You don't even have to speak. Let his words sink in, and then no matter what you decide, you will know the right decision to make."
I could see the glare that Rosalie was giving Bella out of the corner of my eye; always the protector. I heaved myself up off floor and the girls followed suit. I think they were afraid to see me topple over after my exhausting crying fit.
"I'm fine, really. I'm just going to shower, put on my iPod, and try to get some sleep. I'll let you guys know what I decide to do in the morning."
They enveloped me in a hug, and I trudged off to my suitcase to pull out the most comfortable sleeping arrangement I could find. It was times like this that I almost wished I had a pair of hideous sweats and a too large t-shirt to accompany my mood.
I bet Bella would have something…
I pushed that thought right out of my head. There was no way I was going to allow Jasper to have an affect on my wardrobe!
I took a hurried shower, and donned a pair of silk cheeky boxers and a matching slim spaghetti tank. I sprayed the linens with my trusty Unwind Spray, and slipped under the covers.
I searched my iPod for the perfect mood music, and I stopped once I heard the sweet musical voice destined to wrap up a night of heartbreak. The words swirled in my mind, and I silently cried myself to sleep.
Goodbye,
my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to
think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless
romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me
heartache
Almost lovers always do
