Chapter 9

"Right then – shall I get on to Tosh, let her know what's happenin' and see if she can fix you two up with a hire car?"

"What's wrong with my car?" Ianto asked, momentarily perplexed by Owen's suggestion.

"Ah – so I take it that when you left it, it still had four fully inflated tyres, intact headlamps, functioning doors and the insides weren't ripped to shreds?"

"Oh." Why was it always his car that got wrecked?

"Yeah, like I said, I'll get Tosh to sort out transport for you guys."

"Thanks Owen, is there anything else you need to do before you set off?" Jack rubbed his arm in an attempt to prompt Owen.

"Oh yes – Ianto I'll need a blood sample from you –"

"Why? Hypothermia isn't something you need to run blood tests on."

"Well you were darted with something – I need to check what it was-"

"It would have been metabolised by now and out of my system. I may not be as highly qualified as you Owen, but I'm not stupid." Ianto caught the exchange of looks between the other two men, trying their very best not to look guilty, and failing miserably. "Now will the two of you please just tell me what the fuck is going on?"

Owen stepped in quickly, before Jack came up with some elaborate lie and ended up digging an even deeper hole for them both.

"OK, the first weevil, Magwitch, remember Tosh discovered that it was infected with a virus, something new, some sort of hybrid weevil-human 'flu? Well I don't know if your weevil had it as well, but the chances are pretty high. And … considering you spent the night with it…"

"Me and the weevil, Owen? It wasn't like that!" Ianto glared at the doctor briefly before rolling his eyes in indignation.

"You know what I mean and don't get snarky with me. Believe it or not, I am looking out for your best interests!"

"So you just need to test my blood to see if I am infected with whatever killed the weevils – is that it?"

Owen looked to Jack, saw him tilt his chin up slightly, and despite his own preference for total, brutal honesty, he picked up on the silent instruction not to say any more.

"Yep – that's it – so come on tea boy, let me take some blood my way, or I'll get Cap'n Dracula here to bite your neck for me."

mmmmmmmmmm

Jack watched Ianto toying with the food on his plate, he'd barely touched anything and it must have been at least twenty four hours since he'd eaten anything substantial.

"Not hungry?"

"Nope, being lied to really takes the edge off my appetite." Ianto pushed the plate away from him and lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Ianto-"

"No – don't make it worse, I know when you're keeping something from me. Usually I let it pass, but I think this concerns me and I have a right to know."

"It's not that easy." Jack sat next to him, not knowing quite what to say that would get him back into Ianto's good books.

"The truth? Being open and honest? Never is where you're concerned." Ianto continued to look upwards at the light fitting, unable to face Jack.

Jack got up off the bed abruptly and sighed heavily, he really needed to clear the air with Ianto and the sooner the better.

"I don't suppose you fancy a walk? I need to get out this damn room – the décor is not making this any easier." Jack flung his arms out – gesturing with disdain at the myriad floral and romantic decorative touches that were at serious conflict with his need to assert himself as a strong leader, looking out for his team.

Jack wandered over to the window and although the grey skies didn't look particularly enticing, the rain had abated and he could see out across the estuary. It also looked as though the tide was still out.

"It's not raining at the moment. What's that saying in Wales? If you can see the horizon it's going to rain and if you can't it is raining?"

"Yep, that's the standard one as used by many a tour guide." Ianto had joined him at the window. "So rain is imminent – oh joy."

"Come on – Owen got the waterproof jackets out of the SUV before he left, and if it gets too bad I'll even let you have my coat."

"OK, it's a deal – if it rains you get the cagoule and I wear your coat."

mmmmmmmmmm

It was a short walk down a lane from the hotel to the edges of the marshes and there were well trodden pathways that led out towards the sea. It was a different area from the one where the weevils had been dumped, so there were no warning signs, just a blackboard on which the names of various birds were chalked up.

"It's a popular area for bird-watching," Ianto explained as Jack gave the list a puzzled look, "that would be a list of bird species recently seen, not a menu, sir."

They walked on quietly for a while. Jack couldn't help himself from taking a few sidelong glances at Ianto, approving Owen's choice of outfit; the outdoorsy Ianto was looking fine, from the unkempt hair and slightly stubbly chin all the way down to the dark green boots that reached his knees. As they took a turning onto a footpath, he noticed Ianto's stride lengthen, he seemed quite comfortable here by the coast.

"I used to come here a lot when I was younger. I used to love it here, the wide open landscapes and big skies. Not a soul in sight for miles." Ianto turned, taking Jack by surprise with a hint of his childhood.

"I grew up by the sea."

"Really?"

"Yep, I used to like looking out into the far distances across the ocean. That's why I spend so much time on roofs, the only place in the city to see the sky properly. Helps me focus on the big picture…"

"The skies here at sunset can be incredible – the light on the water…"

"I can imagine."

"Jack, look over there." Ianto whispered excitedly, clasping Jack's shoulder as he pointed out a group of small, long-haired ponies grazing on the marshes. "Marsh ponies, a family group, there's a foal there."

"Beautiful."

Jack wasn't just looking at the ponies, but also at the smile on Ianto's face. A glimpse of innocent boyish joy, not jaded by the experiences he'd lived through since he'd joined Torchwood. It was a smile that reached his eyes and stayed there.

Jack held out his hand tentatively, hoping that Ianto would take it and was pleased that he did. They walked along further onto the marshes, the wind blowing in from the sea becoming stronger the further they got from shelter.

"How are you doing Ianto?"

"I've been warmer, but this sweater isn't bad – or were you actually asking how I feel?"

"Well now's as good a time as any – how are you Ianto – really?"

Ianto stopped walking and let go of Jack's hand. The two men turned to face one another, Ianto determined to get answers he could believe and Jack prepared to be as open as he could to redeem the situation, he couldn't lose Ianto over this.

"Are you ready to tell me the truth?" challenged Ianto.

"Try me."

"OK. Let's start with Saturday night. Where did you go? A roof somewhere?"

"Back to the hub."

"Why?"

"There were memories I had to deal with." Jack thought back to the box of photos he'd rummaged through until he'd found that one formal picture taken so long ago. "My own wedding."

"You're married?" Ianto was surprised, but not sure why, there was so much he didn't know about Jack.

"Was, past tense, she died back in the 'fifties."

"I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry I am – sorry I married her, sorry I had to lie to her, and sorry I had to fake my own death, leaving her to think she was a widow."

"What made you do that?" Ianto was curious, he couldn't believe Jack capable of such dishonourable actions without good reason.

"Because she grew older and I didn't." Jack almost sounded ashamed of his words. "She knew nothing of Torchwood, nothing about the real me. The ironic thing is that before I met the Doctor, I thought life was too short for long term commitments and now I have all the time in the world I can't have them."

Jack cursed his own carelessness as he saw Ianto flinch at the bitter sentiments he'd expressed, shit, he hadn't meant to hurt him again. At that moment, he realised that Ianto knew more about the real him than anyone else he'd ever been involved with and still stood by him. If only he could match the younger man's courage, maybe there was hope for him yet, a chance not to be alone for a while. The wind whipped through the low vegetation around them and it occurred to him that the desolate, bleak landscape was helping him to bare his soul.

"I see. So you don't deal well with weddings." Ianto kept his disappointment masked, not wanting to break the mood in which Jack was prepared to be honest. "That explains why you didn't make the effort to dress up or anything. I just thought you didn't want Gwen to get married to Rhys."

"She means a lot to me-"

"I know and that's why you shouldn't have behaved the way you did at her wedding."

"Ianto please trust me, you don't have to be jealous of Gwen-"

"I'm not." Ianto frowned and locked eyes with Jack.

"What?" That threw Jack; he'd been so sure that the root of the problem lay there.

"I am not jealous of Gwen. No, but I am pissed off by how you behave around her."

"But I thought -"

"I've come to realise that inappropriate flirting comes with the territory when dating an intergalactic stud from the future." Ianto couldn't resist the temptation to roll his eyes at the incredulous expression on Jack's face.

"Are you teasing me?"

"May I remind you that I have met one of your exes and Martha told me a few interesting stories."

Jack shrugged, figuring that he'd best not to pursue that discussion any further, without admitting to a lot that he'd rather not at that moment.

"Just imagine for one minute that you were in a relationship with Gwen. Do you think for one minute she'd let you as much as look at another person without breaking your balls?"

"I know, I know …"

"Anyway, it's not that so much, it's just I wish you'd have some consideration for Gwen. You've got to be fair to her – you cannot come onto her like you do, knowing the effect you have on anything with a pulse, not when she has the chance of happiness – a normal fucking relationship, with a home, a man that loves her, who'd do anything for her. Let that be enough for her. Don't screw up her life Jack, let her go."

Jack felt suitably abashed when considering his actions in this light and also unaccountably surprised at Ianto's selflessness in this. He had never thought about the repercussions of his behaviour towards Gwen, he'd been blinded by his attraction to the woman, and the pleasure he experienced when they sparked off one another.

"Screw around with me by all means, I've nothing to lose. Look at me Jack, you know I'd do anything for you, I'd kill for you, and I'd die for you." Ianto was pleading with him now, his expression earnest and imploring.

"Don't say that Ianto – I don't deserve loyalty like that-"

"Tough shit, it isn't your choice – it's mine. Although if I could make one request, I would rather you didn't humiliate me in public, dancing with me whilst gazing, like a love sick school boy, at Gwen gave Owen enough ammunition against me to last several of your lifetimes."

"I really am sorry – I never thought and that was unforgivable."

Ianto moved closer to him, his hands reaching out to take hold of Jack's head, lifting it firmly so that their eyes met.

"And one more thing - don't you ever use me again to take out your sexual frustration on – you want Gwen and can't have her – just have a wank, and be done with it."

"What!"

"You heard. Apart from anything else you're no bloody fun when you use me for angry sex and then piss off without a word for two days. Anyway, as for being jealous of Gwen – why should I be? The man I get to shag is infinitely hotter than hers."

Jack grinned and pulled Ianto close.

"Forgive me?"

"I always do."

Holding each other close, they looked out over the marshes as the sun played hide and seek behind the dark, forbidding clouds, the occasional ray breaking through and setting the water afire with red and gold sparkles.

Pulling back so he could cup Ianto's face in one hand, Jack dipped his head down to take Ianto's mouth in a kiss that had been put off for far too long, one they both desperately needed…