UBER IMPORTANT A/N! READ HERE!!!!!!!!
I'm sorry but I have to change the rating from T to M because of this chapter. If you are uncomfortable reading sex scenes, then I will put a !! where you should stop reading and another when you should start again. Oh, and I'm sorry if anything is wrong. I've written based on what I've read, not from experiences, so…yeah… PLEASE REVIEW! -Alice xoxo
Chapter 9
Jasper really wanted to see me the next day since it was our one week anniversary and whatnot. He was at my house to pick me up at 3:30 in the afternoon.
It was usually warm that day, so when Jasper and I were alone in this meadow (not Edward and Bella's meadow that they think no one knows about - a different one) Jasper thought it was a good idea to take his shirt off. I tried to pretend that it wasn't distracting, but it was. His perfect, smooth body that he let me run my fingers over. I loved it.
After a while, we both laid down on the cool grass and he let me rest my head on his bare chest.
"Jasper?" I asked. I didn't really give him time to answer. "You said you where going to ask something to me today. I was wondering what that was?" Part of me got a little scared. What if it was something I wasn't ready to do. I sat up and looked at him.
"Huh?" He said. "Oh, yeah! I remember now." He stuck his hand in his pocket and grabbed something, and used his free hand to take mine, not letting me see what he was holding. "Alice? I really love you. I swear it was love at first sight, or email or whatever. So I wanted to ask you something." He slid a ring onto my finger. It wasn't anything special, just from a gumball machine or the kind you win at an arcade. For a second I thought he was going to ask me to marry him. "Will you please be my girlfriend?"
I couldn't help the smile that broke across my face. "Of course I will," I said before I leaned in to kiss him. For the second time, I wanted to tell him that I loved him.
"Alice. I love you so much that I could cry right now. I just wished you loved me to," he said, kissing the top of my head.
I do, I wanted to say, I love you. I just smiled. "You are my life now."
With those words, Jasper pressed his lips to mine with so much fervor that I thought I would cry. He slowly started to play with the end of my shirt and I didn't say anything; a silent invitation to let him touch me. He worked his way up my skin, tracing over my belly button and then up until he fingered underneath my bra.
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At first I wanted him to stop, but after a while, I got use to it. It's not like it hurt or anything.
Jasper pulled away for a second. "Are you ok?" He asked, brushing a strand of my hair away. I nodded and slowly lifted my shirt off. He reached behind me and tested my permission by playing with the hooks on my bra. "Are you sure, Darlin'?" His voice whispered in my ear, making me get goose bumps.
"I've never been more sure in my life," I whispered back, as he unhooked my bra and began touching the exposed parts of me he's never felt before.
I ran my hand over his bare skin until I got to his pants where I felt the bulge. Jasper grabbed at my wrist to stop me before I could go any further. "Alice," he said, "no one's making you do anything. You don't have to."
"Jasper," I sighed, annoyed now. "I want to. Please."
"Ok, Darlin', ok." he let me go back to running my hands over the tightness in his pants until I worked up the courage to take them off. I was surprised to find out that he was going commando. He was naked and I still had my skirt and panties on.
Jasper slowly pulled my skirt down and then felt in between my legs over my panties. He smiled when he felt that I was wet. His fingers looped around the cotton of my panties and he slowly slid them down to my ankles. I stopped breathing for a second when he touched me without the barricade of my panties.
"We can stop," Jasper said and I shook my head.
I always knew that it would hurt, but I really imagined it to be much worse that it was when he pushed himself inside me. I did scream out, however. At first I was afraid someone would hear me. But who would? We were out in the middle on nowhere.
I screamed his name when I reached my climax, and he did the same when he got to his.
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The rain suddenly started, forcing us to stop. We got dressed before the falling moisture could get out clothes wet. I was in so much pain that I could barely walk.
"Jasper?" I said when we got close to his car. He looked at me. "I've always wanted to kiss someone in the rain.
"That can be arranged Darling," he said. His accent was so thick and sexy, that I wanted to take him back to where we just where. Jasper lifted me up so my legs were wrapped around his waist and kissed me as the rain dripped around us.
I started shivering from the cold and Jasper put me down, but kept my hand in his and led me into his car.
As we turned down the long drive towards my house, Jasper said to me. "Ya know, now would be a good time for you to say you love me."
I nodded. He was right. Today was wonderful and romantic. And we had sex. Its called making love. Not making like. Or making I think I love you but I'm really not sure. "I'm sorry," I said sadly. "I really don't want to lie to you."
He stopped suddenly. Good thing we were right in front of my house then. "What? What the fuck, Alice?"
Usually I really don't mind when he swears. Except for today. I could feel the tears prick at my eyes. "I said I'm sorry. I'm not sure if I love you, Jasper. I've never been in love before so I don't know what it feels like. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."
He shook his head angrily at me. "Alice," was all he said but it was enough. The word was broken and tears spilled over his eyes. I didn't know what to do.
"I'm really sorry. I really wish I could tell -" I would have continued, but I was on the verge of crying with him.
"Don't Alice," his shaky voice said. "Just…don't talk to me right now."
The tears broke free of my eyes. I took the ring Jasper had given me and held it out for him to take. "You keep it. There's no one else in the world who I'd rather give that to. Just keep it," he said without looking at me.
I nodded. "I really wish sorry was enough," was the last thing I said before I got out of his car and ran all the way to my room where I didn't stop crying until I feel asleep.
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