Warnings; Fluff.

Characters; Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Fred and George Weasley, Professor McGonagall.

Shows; Torchwood & Harry Potter

Disclaimer; I can safety say I don't own Harry Potter or Harry Potter (Even if I wish really, really hard)

Plot; Toddlers + Torchwood = Trouble.


Jack and Ianto followed Professor McGonagall through the castle both amazed into silence. Both men jumped out of their skin once a painting talked then almost collapsed when a ghost appeared in front of them.

"Hello Nearly Headless Nick" Harry said, he grinned babyishly; the ghost looked at Harry and frowned.

"Harry Potter?"

Harry nodded giggling as Ianto and Jack looked at each other confused, how wasn't that three year old terrified.

"How exactly can you be Nearly Headless Nick?" Ianto asked curiosity, he'd gotten over the fear now, seeing as Draco and Harry didn't seem to mind.

"Like this" the ghost replied then pulled his head off. Ianto put his hand over his mouth as both shocked and looking like he was trying to stop himself being sick.

"Thank you Sir Nicolas, now if you don't mind?" Professor McGonagall said then edged the two toddlers forward.

She led them towards a office, a big office then made them sit down.

"I will go and get Professor Snape, don't move" She ordered, all four nodded and sat.


"Here you go Weevil" George said holding a chunk of raw meat to Janet, Owen was watching amused, he'd feed the Hoix and now the twins wanted to feed the Weevil.

"What her name?" Fred asked Owen whilst tugging on his arm.

"Janet"

"Janet" Fred repeated then walked towards George.

"Weevil call Janet" Fred said then smiled as George nodded.

"Here you go Janet" George said, Owen smiled then pressed his com.

"Stop watching us Tosh" he said then heard laughing from the connection of the coms. He smiled then looked back at the twins.

It was official they were sending him broody.


"Now Professor Snape, did you do this?" Professor McGonagall asked a dark man. Jack and Ianto looked at each other as both the toddlers nodded quickly.

"The bratz' deserved it" Came low vowels from the dark man.

"So you are?"

"Obviously" the dark man turned to look at Professor McGonagall.

"Can you change them back?" Jack asked,

"Oh a pretty boy" The dark man said, Jack rolled his eyes "Of course I can change them back"

"Will you?" Ianto asked.

"No" point-blank.

"Why?"

"My third year Potion's class is at least bearable without those bratz' and the school behaviour had increased since those clones have gone – I done Hogwarts a favour"

The toddlers looked at each other then agreed slightly.

"We are annoying" Draco said then smiled softly. "But Snake my daddy won't be happy"

"You're daddy isn't happy about many things boy"

Draco frowned then folded his arms pouting.

"I WANT TO BE THIRTEEN AGAIN" the little blonde boy shouted.

"Mister Malfoy, when you are thirteen again, twenty-five points from Slytherin for shouting"

The Blonde boy pouted again

"But it was more fun being thirteen" he wailed. Harry giggled as Professor McGonagall laughed and shook her head.

"Professor Snape turn these Students back"

Both Professors looked at each other having a sort of staring competition.

"Professor Snape, please come back to the HUB and turn every toddler in their into a teenager"

"Teenagers just course trouble"

"So do Toddlers" Jack argued as Ianto sighed and looked at the two toddlers who were watching amused.

"Just come back to the HUB please Professor Snape, get rid of them toddlers" Jack very nearly pleaded.

The two men looked at each other then finally agreed.


This is so short because this was unbelievably hard to write, almost finished, I think 3 more chapters.