Chapter Nine: Omelets
The previous night had gone better than he had expected. After dinner, Olivia went to change into her pajamas while Brooke started to clean up the kitchen. Julian had debated on going up to help Olivia or to stay and help Brooke clean up. He had chosen to stay. At first she was reluctant and avoided eye contact with him but when he made it clear that he wasn't leaving she started to let her guard back down. They hadn't talked at all while cleaning the kitchen but she at least allowed him to stand close to her again. As he lay in bed the next morning, he couldn't help but smile to himself. It was Saturday and he planned to stay home and spend the day with his daughter and Brooke. He was going to prove to her that he wanted to be with her and he would do whatever it took until she realized that.
He knew he wasn't the best cook but he wanted to do something so Brooke wouldn't have to when she woke up. He stretched before getting out of bed and heading downstairs. Out of habit he glanced into the living room and was surprised to see her sitting on the couch sipping a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper. She hadn't looked up yet so he stared a few seconds longer. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she didn't have a trace of make-up on. Her pajamas didn't match but he could care less. This was when she was her most beautiful, he thought, when she wasn't trying.
"Morning," He greeted as he walked toward her. "How'd you sleep?"
She put the paper down beside her on the couch and placed her coffee mug on the table. He realized it wasn't coffee but tea rather and smiled. "Okay," She replied. "Do you want breakfast?"
He held up his hand as she started to get up. "Don't worry about it. I've got it covered."
She looked at him suspiciously but didn't say anything. He had noticed that she was keeping the talk to a minimum this morning. The doorbell rang which caused Julian to smile and Brooke to look even more confused. From where she was in the living room it was impossible to see who was at the door but within seconds Julian closed the door and held up a brown take-out bag.
"Did you seriously have breakfast delivered?" She asked in disbelief.
"Well," He shrugged. "The last time I tried to cook something it didn't turn out so well so I figured it was better to be safe than sorry."
"I can cook, you know." She said as she followed him into the kitchen. "I don't mind doing it either. It helps calm me down and—"
"I just wanted to do something nice for you." He said cutting her off. "Is there something wrong with that?"
She looked at him skeptically before shaking her head. "No, I guess not."
Olivia came running down the staircase just as Julian finished pulling out the last of the food. "I'm ready!" She exclaimed.
"Ready for what?" Julian asked as he took into account the overnight bag she had slung over her small shoulder.
"To go to grandma and grandpa's house, remember?" She asked as she placed her hands on her hips. "You forgot, didn't you?"
Julian glanced at Brooke who shrugged. Both of them had obviously forgotten that Paul had offered to take Olivia for the weekend a few days earlier. Julian reached for his keys and smiled at his daughter. "Let's go, Olivia Rae."
Olivia smiled and reached up for her father's hand. She saw Brooke standing in the kitchen as they made their way toward the front door she stopped short. "Aren't you coming with us?" She asked.
The ride to Paul and Diane's house wasn't bad because Olivia was there acting as a buffer. She had no idea that her dad and Brooke were uncomfortable around each other. The ride home on the other hand, Brooke was dreading. She would be stuck in the car less than two feet away from Julian with nowhere to run if she became uncomfortable. As she waited in the car for Julian to return from dropping Olivia off she contemplated walking home. She knew she was being ridiculous but she was not looking forward to spending the weekend alone with Julian. Why this weekend of all weekends had Paul and Diane offered to take Olivia? She sighed heavily when she saw Julian reappear. She ran a hand through her messy hair and turned so that her back was to the driver's seat and gazed out the window. She heard him open his door, slide in and sigh. "I know you're upset." He said softly. "And I am so sorry for being the reason you are so angry."
"I'm not angry, Julian." She said. "I'm hurt. There's a difference."
He placed his hand on her lower back. "Look at me, Brooke." He pleaded.
"Can we please just go home?" She asked with her back still toward him. "Please."
He didn't want to push her anymore so he gave in and started home. The ride was silent, Brooke was grateful and Julian was kicking himself. When he pulled into the driveway before he even got a chance to turn the car off she darted out and ran toward the house. Clearly, he thought, things were worse than he had originally thought. The only reason she had seemed okay last night was because Olivia was around, she didn't want his daughter to think anything was wrong. Surprisingly, he found her in the kitchen packaging up the omelets he had had delivered. "We could heat those up." He said as he stood in the doorway.
"I'm not that hungry." She replied.
"Brooke," He said as he made his way toward her. "We need to talk."
"It's fine." She said as she placed the containers in the fridge.
He shook his head. "No, it's not. We need to get past this so that we can move forward, we need—"
She slammed her fist down on the counter. "You want to talk? You want to understand why I'm feeling the way I am? Why I'm trying to avoid you? You really want to get into this, Julian?"
He nodded. "I do."
She left him alone in the kitchen and began walking toward the living room. He was unsure if he should follow but when he saw her turn around and look at him and motion her hand toward her he made his way into the living room. She waited for him to sit down first and when he sat down in the armchair she sat on the couch opposite him; the small coffee table being the only thing that separated them. "So," Julian sighed as he leaned forward and began nervously squeezing his hands. "Where do we start?"
"Who was she?"
"Who was who?"
Brooke groaned. "The girl you slept with, don't play dumb."
"Sarah Collins. She was the previous nanny."
"The one who left Olivia in the park?"
Julian nodded.
"Unbelievable," Brooke scoffed as she rolled her eyes.
"It's who I am, Brooke!" He exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. "I don't know how to change it but I want to!"
"Why?" She challenged. "Why now all of a sudden?"
"Because I know if I keep doing it I'm going to lose you and I don't want to."
"How many other girls have you slept with?"
"In my whole life?"
Brooke nodded.
He shrugged. "I don't keep count but if I had to guess I'd say probably around forty or fifty."
She wasn't sure why she had asked the question because when she heard his answer she felt like she couldn't breathe. Julian must have noticed something was wrong because before she knew it he was by her side, rubbing her back and telling her to breathe. "I'm scared." She said softly.
"Of what?"
"Of you and the way you make me feel."
"Why?"
She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I should really hate you. I should want nothing to do with you because of what you did but I don't. I can't. There's something about you that puts me at ease. When I'm lying in bed I crave the feeling of you next to me, rubbing my back and holding me. I shouldn't want that but I do. I want you and that scares me to death."
He looked at her and furrowed his brow.
"I've told you things that nobody besides my best friends know, I trusted you. I told you about Owen. I let you see the scars from the fire. I told you that I was saving myself for marriage and you said that you would wait for however long it took. You told me that you think you could fall in love with me. You flirted with me. You made me fall for you and what do you do? You go and sleep with a girl from your past. You screwed everything up."
It killed him to see her cry. It destroyed him to know that he was the reason she was crying. He pressed his forehead against hers and held her face in his hands. "I wish I could take it back. I never meant to hurt you, Brooke."
She pulled away and looked him in the eye. "If you never meant to hurt me you wouldn't have slept with Sarah in the first place. Thinking about being with intimate with someone scares me because I will have no idea what I'm doing when the time comes. You took advantage of that. You said you'd wait but then you go and screw some girl—"
"It's what I do when I get scared."
Brooke stared at him. "What?"
"What I feel for you scares me. You haven't even been here a month and I have already fallen so hard for you. Seeing you with Olivia only makes me more attracted to you." Brooke could see tears starting to form in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. "When Kate left me I changed for the worse. I couldn't look at my daughter and I buried myself in work because I thought that would fill the void Kate left in my life but it didn't. I didn't realize that until you came into my life. I know I still have a long way to go with Olivia but I'm so much more involved in her life today than I have been for the past five years. I'm happier and I feel like I have a new lease on life and that's all because of you. I dread leaving in the mornings but I look forward to coming home in the evenings because I know I'll get to see my two favorite girls." He smiled when he saw Brooke blush. "What I did was wrong, I never should have done it and I know I shouldn't make excuses but I want you to know why I did it. I hurt people before they have a chance to hurt me. It's something I started doing right after Kate left me. I do it because I don't want to feel the way I did after she left. I don't want to be left alone again—"
"I'm not going anywhere, Julian." She said softly as she cupped his face with her hand.
He nodded as he pressed his forehead against hers. "Promise?"
"I promise."
"Good because I don't know what I'd do if you ever did."
"You need to earn my trust back." She said.
"I know."
"No more sleeping around either."
He shook his head. "I'm done with that."
"We have to take things slow; we can't just jump right into a relationship. You have to woo me and—"
He couldn't help but laugh. "Woo you?"
She nodded. "What's so wrong with that?"
"I don't know what that is or how to do it."
"You've never wooed a girl?" She smirked.
"Never." He grinned. "What am I supposed to do?"
She shrugged. "That's for you to figure out."
He thought for a moment before leaning in close to her. "Go take a shower and put on something nice." He whispered in her ear as a grin spread across his face.
"What are we doing?"
"We're going on a date." His grin grew even bigger.
Her smile matched his as she jumped to her feet and raced up the stairs. He watched her and shook his head. How had he gotten so lucky? She was still there and willing to give him a second chance. He wasn't going to screw it up this time. There was nothing to be afraid of anymore, she wasn't going anywhere and neither was he. He knew they had a long way to go but he was willing to go the distance if it meant having Brooke by his side for the rest of his life.
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