A/N: Ok, I think this is the longest chapter yet. It has somewhat of an 'The end'-feel to it, but believe me, it's not over yet. Nowhere near over, in fact.

THANKS THANKS THANKS to my reviewers! I love reviews, and, as you can see, they inspire me to write faster! I'm glad you like this story and I hope you'll continue to like it! Have fun with chapter nine!


Chapter 9

Leni gently extracted herself from Mark's arms and wiped at her overflowing eyes. Mimi, finally finished with yelling after Roger, came to join them and crouched down next to her roommate.

"I'm sorry, guys," Leni told them, "I just… break down constantly lately."

"That's okay," Mark assured her, "You're worried and hurt, nobody can blame you for crying."

"It's my own fucking fault I'm worried, though," Leni replied bitterly.

Mimi wrapped her slender arms around Leni and stroked her hair.

Mark got to his feet. "I'll see about knocking some sense into Roger. I'll see you guys tomorrow, okay?"

He ruffled Leni's hair, gave Mimi a kiss on the cheek –to his own surprise– and left, before either girl could notice the crimson blush on his cheeks.

"I'm sorry you had to come home to something like this," Leni said, her voice sounding muffled since her face was buried in Mimi's hair.

"Shush," Mimi said and smiled, "forget regret!"


Roger sat on the couch, his guitar on his lap, but he wasn't playing. He stared at the instrument with a forlorn expression on his face. As Mark entered the loft, however, and stood in front of his roommate, hands at his hips, the musician became defensive immediately.

"Don't even start, Mark, I'm sick of people yelling at me all the time. What happened wasn't my fault!"

"Yeah, Roger. Enjoying the feeling?"

Roger's gaze snapped up to meet Mark's.

"What?"

"Well, it's what you do best. Be hurt, be the wronged one, the guy Mimi cheated on, the one Leni lied to… It doesn't work that way! You can't always throw away relationships when they get a little rougher!" Mark told him firmly.

Roger set aside the guitar and got to his feet. "Some relationship! Three weeks in which all she did was tell me shit I can't even believe. Why are you trying to turn me into the villain here? She lied to me!"

Mark looked him dead in the eye and said two words.

"Poor baby!"

Roger swallowed dryly. He remembered, of course, when he had said that to Mark, right before leaving for Santa Fe, when he had accused him of hiding behind his camera and Mark had retaliated by saying that it was, perhaps, because he was he one of them to survive. Roger had never really understood that.

"You know," Mark began, seeing that Roger wasn't going to answer, "how hard it is for me to see what you're throwing away? You have a chance at happiness, but you just don't use it. You had Mimi, you pushed her away, now there's Leni, who obviously is crazy about you, and you push her away."

"Oh, stop preaching, Mark," Roger snapped. "As if you knew what you're talking about! You haven't even had a date since Maureen dumped you; I don't think you're an authority on relationship issues."

"I observe," Mark stated calmly, "and I learn by watching you fuck up time and again."

"Oh, fuck off, Mark!" Roger sat back down heavily and looked away from Mark.

"I'm your friend, Rog," the filmmaker said gently, "and I'm only trying to help you. I'm mad she lied to you, and, again, I'm not saying to just forget it ever happened. Fine, let it cool off for a couple of days, but then, will you just talk to her?"

Roger sighed heavily. "Fine."


Leni had taken off work for the next week. She couldn't concentrate on anything and spent most of her time looked in her bedroom, only coming out whenever Mark, Mimi or Collins managed to persuade her to eat a bite.

Joanne and Maureen had returned from the trip to Miami. Originally, they had planned on coming over to the loft for a party, but Mark had called them and explained the situation, therefore, celebration had been postponed.

Maureen came over one afternoon. Mimi opened the door for her and the two friends hugged for a long moment.

"I'm so glad you're back," Maureen said, a silly grin on her face and hugged Mimi close one more time. "I had almost thought I'd never see you again."

Then she approached Leni's bedroom door.

"Hey, honey," she called and knocked, "it's Mo. Come on, open up. I've got so much gossip to share, you wouldn't believe some of it, I'm sure…"

The door opened slowly and Leni peered out at her friend.

"Hey Mo," she said quietly, "don't you hate me?"
Maureen smiled sadly. "I don't hate you, little one. I'm disappointed, but I'm really not the one to judge other people." She saw that Leni wore her light jacket and had a bag slung over her shoulder. "You going somewhere?"

Leni nodded and bit her bottom lip. "The… the hospital. They called earlier, they have my results and want me to come pick them up."

Mimi had heard her as well, and a worried expression clouded her pretty features. "Do you want one of us to go with you?"

Her roommate shook her head. "No, I need to do this alone. After all," she mustered a small smile, "it might not be so bad after all. A nurse told me, that there is only a… a one percent chance of getting infected. I don't necessarily have to be the unlucky one out of one hundred, right?"

"That's the spirit," Maureen said bracingly and punched her shoulder lightly. "Meems and I will be waiting for you right here, ok?"

Leni nodded, took a deep breath and headed for the door.

Mimi watched her go and then turned back to stirring the soup that was simmering in a large pot on the stove.

"I don't like it, that she's going there alone," Maureen announced.

"Neither do I," Mimi agreed, "but we can't force her to take someone with her. If only Roger would stop giving her the silent treatment…"

Maureen sat down on the couch. She normally enjoyed watching other people do housework, but she had different things on her mind. "You know," she mused, "Leni is my friend, she's a nice kid, but I can understand that Roger is pissed off as all hell."


Leni hated hospitals. She hated the bright light, the white walls and the smell, a mixture of medicine, urine, unwashed bodies, antiseptic soap and laundry detergent. Most of all, she hated the dreary atmosphere, the hopelessness one was forced to inhale with every breath of hospital air.

She approached the nurse at the reception desk, who gave her a polite smile.

"M…my name is Elena Hollis," she introduced herself, "I'm here to pick up my HIV test results…"

The nurse consulted a flip chart in front of her and then directed her to an office a few doors down. "Don't worry too much," she added as she saw how much Leni trembled and her smile became genuine, "Whatever happens, you always have options."

The young woman nodded and attempted to return the smile. Then she headed towards the white door to find out about her fate.


Mimi had prepared some coffee for her and Maureen. The door to the apartment stood open, since they wanted to hear Leni before she actually entered, in order to be there for her immediately.

They looked up from their conversation when they saw Mark poke his head in through the open door and asked, "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Mimi invited him and smiled. She was glad he had come. Mark always emanated a calming air and right now, he was the most level-headed in the entire group.

"Hi, Maureen," he greeted his ex-girlfriend, who blew him a kiss. Mimi got to her feet and hugged him tightly. "Leni's at the hospital to get her results," she told him. He nodded. "I figured. I saw her leave earlier."

The telephone rang and Mimi let go off Mark at once to lunge for the receiver.

"Hello?… Yes, she's here… Do you want to… Yeah, I'll tell her. Bye!"

She hung up and turned to Maureen. "That was Joanne. I'm supposed to remind you that there's an important dinner with one of Jo's clients and if you don't hurry your ass home right now, you're going to be late!"

Maureen checked her watch and swore loudly. "SHIT! Ok, I gotta go. Tell Leni I'm sorry I couldn't wait!"

She picked up her jacket and all but ran out the door.
Mimi watched her go with a smile. "Joanne has really domesticated her," she observed. Mark nodded and grinned. "Yeah, I think they really want it to last this time."

The two of them sat back down and Mark shifted awkwardly.

"So… it's just us."

"Yeah," Mimi nodded, "We never spend enough time together, Marky."

He raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know you wanted to spend time with me. I always… I dunno…" He broke off.

"You what?" Mimi prodded gently. "For once, Mark, just say what you think."

"You're Roger's ex-girlfriend, why would you want to spend time with me?" he asked instead. Mimi shrugged. "Perhaps because I realise that I don't know you as well as I know the others? And I want to change that?"

"Oh."
He could have sworn she was flirting with him, but before he could mull over that further, they heard hurried footsteps on the stairs.

They moved closer to the door, but already Leni came barrelling past them, throwing her bag on the floor and disappearing in the bathroom.
They heard the lock snap.

"Leni," Mark called cautiously, but he received no reply.

Instead, they heard muffled screams; she had probably clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Leni, come on!" Mark called, more loudly this time, however, he was again met with only sobs and cries of terror.

"I'm calling Roger," Mimi announced and dashed out the door.

On the stairs, Mimi yelled, "Roger! Help!"

It only took a moment, before the loft door opened and the musician came out into the hallway, a questioning look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"Leni just came back from the hospital, she's looked herself in the bathroom and she won't answer, she only cries…"

For a horrible moment, Roger's mental eye saw pictures of April, floating in pink water, eyes glassy and open, staring at the ceiling sightlessly. His straight razor in a crimson puddle on the floor and the message on the mirror: We've got AIDS!

"Come on," Mimi pleaded and Roger ran down the stairs, pushed past Mimi and stormed into the apartment.

"Leni," he shouted and pounded on the bathroom door.

Mark, meanwhile, had picked up Leni's discarded bag and taken a peek inside.

His suspicions were confirmed. There was a very familiar orange pill bottle inside and a folded sheet of paper, which he didn't even have to look at to know her test result. He held them up mutely, so Mimi could see what he had found. She sighed and shook her head sadly.

Roger's patience, meanwhile, had run out. He took a step back and kicked the door. The weak wood splintered after the first impact of his boot.

He rushed inside and saw Leni sitting on the floor next to the bathtub, knees drawn up to her chest, her face and sleeve wet with tears. Her eyes darted back and forth between Roger and the ruined door. Finally, she opened her mouth to speak.

"Are you insane?" she croaked.

Roger let out a sigh of relief to find her alive.
"I had one girlfriend kill herself over her diagnosis," he said gruffly, "I couldn't let that happen again."

Leni got to her feet, channelling some of her fear into anger.

"Yeah, well, last I checked I wasn't your girlfriend anymore. You told me to 'fuck off', remember? So what do you care?"

He grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little. "Do you honestly think I don't care about you, Leni? My god…"

She put her hands on his chest and pushed roughly. "Get off, Roger!"

Although she wasn't very strong, she succeeded in pushing him away a little. His gaze softened. "Do you really want me to leave?" he asked gently. "Wouldn't you rather I held you now?"

Those words broke Leni. She collapsed against his chest, all her strength seeping out of her, along with her tears which soaked through his shirt as he held her close, a hand buried in her hair, the other one caressing her back.
Leni clung to him, her hands gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly.

Mark sighed. He saw that Mimi had tears in her eyes and so he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder. The dancer flung her arms around him, and after a moment of shock, Mark returned the embrace.

Leni was oblivious to anything but Roger's arms around her and his soft, deep voice in her ear, telling her, "You'll be alright. I got you, baby."

And for a moment, she almost believed it.


to be continued

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