Shades of Grey: Althea's Story
Chapter 9 – Departure

Once she was sure Marek was gone, Althea threw the covers aside. When she tried to get up from the couch, the pain that had since faded from her joints suddenly flared to life again. She opened her mouth and let out a small cry, then she took some deep breaths and let them out slowly. She froze in place while she waited for the soreness to pass.

Eventually it did, and she gingerly pushed herself up the rest of the way. When she had successfully gotten to her feet, she stopped again, wondering if this was such a good idea. After all, she was technically still recovering from her transformation. Maybe it would be more prudent of her to wait for a few weeks. But no. She knew the longer she waited, the longer she stayed with Marek, the more her resolve would dwindle. The more her feelings for him might develop, and then she'd never have the strength to do what needed to be done.

She was well aware of the fact that she was being completely stupid. She knew this was most probably the dumbest thing she'd ever done in her life (aside from falling asleep in the forest last month, of course), but it seemed right. It seemed like the safest thing to do for all those involved. The thought of things continuing on their present course terrified her, perhaps even more than being on her own. After all, Marek had just told her not more than twenty minutes ago that she was a survivor. They both knew she was more than capable of looking after herself.

Althea slowly made her way to Marek's bedroom where she'd been keeping the few meager possessions she had left. She immediately retrieved her shoulder bag from the floor, setting it on top of the dresser and pulling it open. She grabbed her comb up from where it sat next to her bag, then turned towards the bed. Snatching her slippers from the floor and her box of tissues from the bedside table, she dropped them all into her bag, pulling it closed and buckling it.

Next, Althea began pulling off the clothes that Marek had loaned her – the oversized t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Plopping them down on the mattress, Althea went to the chair in the corner where Marek had left the only set of clothes she had to her name – trousers, a blouse, and a robe. He'd washed them for her, and they smelled nice as she pulled them on. She only wished they would stay that way. It occurred to her that it would most likely be a very long time before she had clean clothes again, but she had no idea just how long.

Lastly, she sat down on the bed, pulling on her socks and shoes. Afterward, she sat there for a long time, staring down at the deep maroon carpet underneath the soles of her black boots. She wondered if she would ever see it again, the theme of reds that throughout Marek's home. She wondered if she would ever sleep in this room again, but then she decided that such things were bad to think about. They would only hinder her from doing what she knew was necessary.

Althea grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder, barely even sparing herself a glance in the mirror as she left the room. She hadn't even combed her hair that day, and she didn't care what she looked like. It was funny how becoming a werewolf made some things like appearance seem downright silly.

Althea retrieved her wand from the bookcase in the sitting room. Marek had placed it there next to his books before the transformation. She knew that the bookcase and the contents of it were just about the most important thing to Marek. Not just the fact that he had been published, but they represented hope to him - hope that he would one day be a successful werewolf novelist and he'd have more money than he knew what to do with. Althea didn't doubt that he would get there, but it was the fact that he had put her wand in the very spot that was so significant to him.

It made her heart hurt almost, but she tried to push that thought from her mind. She glanced around the room that had truly become so much like her home over the last few weeks, tears springing up in her eyes. This time, she did nothing to stop them. Marek was worth at least a little emotion, and one by one, they began to drip down her cheeks and onto her robe.

She was caught. Caught between doing what she knew she needed to do, and doing what she wanted. Honestly, she wanted nothing more than to stay here with Marek indefinitely. To see if they really could have the life that he had been fantasizing about before. A tiny part of Althea thought they might really be able to have something together, but she tried to push that niggling feeling away. Things just wouldn't work out. And even if they did, she and Marek just weren't good for each other. It was only now beginning to dawn on her just how dangerous they were, and the two of them together were twice as dangerous. As much as she'd like to try and deny that, that was just the way it was. She'd only end up hurting Marek if she stayed, and she already loved him too much to allow that to happen.

Althea strode to the front door determinedly, but when her hand settled upon the doorknob, she stopped again. Her eyes went to Marek's desk in the corner where all his papers and quills sat out, ready to be used. Ready for his next great idea. Althea knew she couldn't just leave without telling Marek why. She supposed she owed him at least an explanation after everything he had done for her.

She dropped her bag on the floor before taking a seat at the desk. It was only the second time she'd sat there, the first time being when she had worked on her wolf sketch to pay Anthony for the Wolfsbane potion. That moment had barely been a week ago, but it now seemed so far away, like a million years previously. Althea vaguely wondered if she'd ever even have the Wolfsbane again. Judging from the horror stories Marek had heard, it was indeed a godsend, but it would just have to be one of the sacrifices she made to keep Marek safe. He was worth it, and that thought made Althea smile, because he said the same thing about her many times – the she was worth it.

Althea shook those thoughts from her head. If she allowed herself to dwell on those things, she knew this would only be harder. She took a heavy breath and fumbled around in the papers, trying to find one that Marek hadn't scribbled a note of some sort on. He was such a scatterbrain sometimes, and he'd write down ideas on whatever piece of parchment he found first.

Finally, Althea found a blank piece of paper. It was a bit crumpled, but she smoothed it out on the desk and opened a bottle of ink. She grabbed up a quill next, dipping it in the ink, and she began to write:

Dearest Marek,

I don't even know if I can explain this to you in a way that'll make sense. Certainly not in the way you deserve, but I know that I have to try. I'm sorry that I can't even show you the decency of telling you this to your face. I only know that you'll try and change my mind, and I can't allow that. You mean too much to me.

First of all, I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me these past few weeks. You gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere to go. You gave me a shoulder to cry on more than a few times when I desperately needed one. You showed me that this isn't something that will destroy me. Not if I don't want it to. And…you've been everything to me since I met you. I don't know if you'll even believe that now, but it's the truth.

You're also right about the fact that I can do this on my own, and I think I need to. You can try all you want to play off what happened last night, but the truth of the matter is that I hurt you. You may not think so, but I hurt you terribly. I know that, and I'm not sure it's something I can ever forgive myself for. Even if you've already forgiven me. Maybe I will be able to someday, but right now, I can't, and every time I look at you, I'm going to be reminded of that.

Please know that it isn't you. Not in the least. It's me. You've been nothing but amazing to me, and I don't regret anything that happened between us. Except for hurting you, of course. I'd do anything to take that part back, but since I can't, the only thing I can do is to make sure nothing like that ever happens again. It isn't fair to you. Not when you've done everything in your power to protect me. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't give you that same kind of protection and consideration in return?

I will miss you terribly. Hell, I feel closer to you after these few short weeks than I've ever felt to my family, and I wish that it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could stay with you forever, but I just can't. You deserve more than a few scratches on your face in return for your generosity, and I have nothing to give you. Except for your safety back.

I wish you nothing but the best. I want you to work furiously on that idea you have, because I know you'll be able to turn it into something. You'll be able to prove that werewolves are worthy of so much more than they're given credit for. At least, I know you are. I'm not so sure about myself.

I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I can't yet be the kind of werewolf you are. That I can't be the rock that you've been for me. I'm not ready for that yet, but perhaps I will be someday. Maybe I can eventually be to someone else what you've been for me. I just need time to find that strength in myself first.

Thank you again for everything. It's because of you that I'm not going to quit. That I'm going to find something for myself, too. I'm not quite sure what that is yet, but I know it's there, and I won't stop till I find it. You taught me that, and I'll never forget it. I'll never forget you. For giving me something to believe in again.

Love,
Althea

Before she could even begin to change her mind, Althea dropped the letter and quill to the desk like she'd been burned. She got up from her chair, seized her bag from the floor where she'd laid it, and hurried to the door. She opened it and stood in the doorway for a while, scanning the home that she was about to leave behind. The only home she had at the moment, and perhaps the only home she would ever have again. She only hoped that wasn't the case, and that she'd be able to make something for herself the way Marek had.

"Goodbye, Marek," she whispered aloud to the empty room. Tears were still welling up in her eyes and cascading down her cheeks, obscuring her view. She blinked several times before she turned and closed the door, leaving behind her life with Marek once and for all.


Althea wasn't even sure where she was going nor did she care. She only made sure she was going in the opposite direction from the market, lest she run into Marek on his way back. Other than that, she ended up wandering the lanes of Marek's small town for several hours. They ran parallel to the woods, and Althea found it funny how much less scary the shadows of the trees seemed now that she was a werewolf. There was nothing lurking in the trees that could possibly hurt her anymore than she'd already been hurt. Except if it killed her, and she wasn't sure that would be such a bad thing.

Her thoughts kept going back to Marek. She imagined him returning home, calling out to her, and looking all over for her. He'd be confused for a moment, perhaps even a little scared or worried, and then he'd find her note. He'd read it…and then what? Would he be angry? Would he be sad? Would he be relieved that he didn't have to take care of her any longer? Would he start looking for her? For some reason, Althea was having a very difficult time imagining that part of his reaction. Or maybe she didn't want to imagine that part, because the thought scared her. Maybe he wouldn't even miss her, and Althea hoped, wished that she meant a lot more to him than that. But she wasn't so sure.

On the other hand, Marek wouldn't have kissed her if he didn't like her. Or perhaps it was just a stupid move on his part. Maybe he had just gotten caught up in the moment, and he hadn't even really meant to do that. Once he realized what he had done, he might even regret it. Even though Althea didn't. The fingers of one hand went to her mouth, tracing over her lips. The ones that Marek had kissed just that afternoon. She thought she could still taste him on them, could still feel his skin and scars rubbing against her. That made her eyes fill with tears again, but she shook her head, trying to drive away her thoughts of Marek. Of the man she was falling for. Had he even been close to falling for her in return?

Not that Althea even had time to think about such things. She was absolutely out of options and she had nowhere to go. The sun was drawing ever closer to the horizon, bringing about the dark of night with it. She had to push Marek out of her mind and focus on where she was going to spend the night. Where she was going to spend the rest of her life. She didn't have the luxury of a nice warm bed or a nice warm couch anymore. All she had was herself, and it wouldn't do to get lost in thoughts of what might have happened with Marek.

For reasons unbeknownst to her, Althea finally ended up Apparating to her parents' house. She didn't even know why. She knew they'd never take her in, nor did she want them to. Althea was absolutely done with them, and she didn't want to see them ever again, but she felt like she needed to go there. It was like their house, her old home was drawing her to it, calling to her from across the distance.

They lived in a small town not unlike Marek's own. It, too, sat on the edge of the woods, the very ones where Althea's life had taken such a drastic turn. Where her entire future had been turned on its head. Althea walked along the edge of these woods, exactly in between the village where the humans lived, and the forest where the animals lived. More and more lately, Althea felt like that was where she was stuck - in between the animal world and the human world. She was way too much like an animal to be considered a human any longer, and she was still too human to be pure animal. It was maddening thinking about the details of it all.

Althea's parents' house was more or less the personification of them – larger than life. It was bigger than any of the other homes in the area. Most of them were small and modest, but not the home of Nolan and Brooke Jameson. They liked people to know that they were well-off. It almost towered into the sky and sprawled across their well-sized lawn. Everything was perfectly maintained, right down to probably every single blade of grass. Nothing could be amiss, which was no wonder why they wouldn't hear of making the necessary changes to accommodate their werewolf daughter. They probably thought she was so dirty now, so spoiled, she just might ruin their entire house if she set even one toe on the property. Like a dementor did when it got too close, destroying everything in its path.

Althea kept her distance as she approached the house. She remained near the edge of the woods, ready to run for the shelter of the tress in case anyone spotted her. Miraculously, the home remained exactly the way Althea had remembered it. She didn't know what she had been expecting. After all, she had only been gone for a month, but it felt so much longer than that. So much had changed in Althea's life since then, it might as well have been a year. Althea almost wanted it to be completely different, to know that this had affected them just as much as it had affected her. It was a bit bothersome to know that things were still the same for them, going along exactly the way they always had.

The lamps were already burning in the windows, throwing out pools of golden light onto the finely manicured lawn. It was almost dinnertime, so Althea imagined that they were going about their business in the kitchen, getting what was always a lavish meal ready. They would sit down to eat soon, completely unaware that the daughter they didn't even care about was standing just outside some distance away.

It occurred to Althea just how much her parents would consider her actions those of a stalker. They would most likely report her to the Ministry of Magic for lurking around outside their house, demanding that they take her into custody for even coming near their perfect little home again. The thought made Althea smirk, imagining just how frantic they might get, like Althea might seriously be planning on eating them all.

Althea's eyes went to her bedroom window. Or rather to the bedroom that used to belong to her, but didn't any longer. It was the room she hadn't seen in a month, and she was pretty certain she never would again. She found herself wondering what her parents would do with it. Would they leave it be? Althea imagined that that was what most parents would do if a child passed away, keep it as a shrine of sorts for their lost family member. That was what Althea was to them now - dead. Or would her parents transform it into something useful now that Althea was out of their lives? Perhaps a walk-in closet. They'd always wanted one of those.

In the end, it didn't matter. They could very well do whatever the hell they pleased. It was their house, and if they could so easily pretend that Althea had never existed to them, then she was going to try her hardest to do the same in return. She still didn't even know why she was there, or what she hoped to gain by returning. Perhaps nothing other than a farewell to the home and the life she'd known for nearly nineteen years.

That was when Althea realized that she'd missed her birthday. She had long since lost track of the dates, but it had to have passed by now. Her birthday fell on October twenty-first, and it had only been a little over two weeks away on the day she'd been bitten. She'd already gone through her first transformation, so that meant that her birthday must have been about a week ago. It was already well into November and she hadn't even noticed. Hadn't even known that she had turned a year older while she was dealing with the consequences of her walk in the woods.

She hadn't even told Marek that her birthday had been approaching. It had quite simply slipped her mind, but Althea wondered if Marek would have done something nice for her. Maybe he would have splurged again and spent some extra money on a small cake. For some reason, Althea doubted he was much of a singer, and perhaps he would have sung Happy Birthday to her rather badly, with her dissolving into a pile of giggles on the couch.

Althea's bottom lip began quivering at that last thought. She closed her eyes against the tears that began building up in them again, and she leaned into the nearest tree. Gripping the bark with the fingers of one hand, she clutched at it so tightly that it began flaking off, falling to the forest floor. Althea, however, gritted her teeth and growled in frustration. She couldn't do this. She couldn't end up breaking down and becoming a mess. She didn't have room for that kind of thing in her life anymore. She was entirely on her own, and she needed to keep her wits about her.

Besides, she'd chosen to leave Marek, and she knew she'd done it for the right reasons. So he wouldn't continue to foolishly spend money on her when he couldn't afford it only being one of them. They were both better off this way, and Althea wasn't going to go running back to him. She wasn't going to put Marek in danger anymore or make his life any harder than it already was. She refused.

Althea drew in a shaky breath, trying to steel her nerves. She opened her eyes a fraction of an amount, and that was when she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. Something she had long since forgotten, but it had suddenly come rushing back to her with resounding clarity. She knew why she'd come back. It wasn't to see her parents' house after all, but the one next to it.

The neighbors to her parents' left had moved out of their home over the summer, putting it up for sale. Althea remembered that it had been on the market for several months, and Brooke had commented that it was probably because no one wanted to buy such a ramshackle place. Indeed, the empty house wasn't in the best of shape, but it was still rather nice. Brooke's standards were just obnoxiously high.

It almost reminded Althea of Marek's place. It was a small house, much smaller than that of her parents, but just as Marek had said, it was plenty of room for one single person. Just like Marek's house, the paint was chipped and peeling in places, and some of the shutters were loose on their hinges. The yard was also becoming overgrown with long grass and weeds, but it just needed some work; it certainly wasn't beyond the point of being inhabitable.

The thing that had caught Althea's eye was the sign in the front yard, the one proclaiming it "For Sale". There it stood among the gnarled weeds, the wooden post it was attached to beginning to warp and splinter from its exposure to the elements. It wasn't pretty – much like Althea herself as of late – but it was the very thing she needed. A safe haven.

Before anyone could spot her, Althea hastened her step, quickly crossing the dirt path that ran through the village and hurrying up the sidewalk of the small house. She scurried up the steps, practically jumping on the door handle and trying to pull it open. Predictably, it was locked, but no matter. Throwing a furtive glance around the area to make sure no one had seen her, Althea retrieved her wand from her pocket. She aimed it at the lock on the door and muttered, "Alohomora."

The locked clicked, and Althea opened the door, quickly rushing inside. She slammed the door shut, and the noise made her jump. Merlin, she felt like she was doing something illegal. And she was, after all. If a werewolf was caught trespassing, they would most likely be thrown into a colony against their will. Even though she had little choice in the matter. This place was a shelter to her, one she desperately needed, and she already decided she'd take her chances with the Ministry in the event that she was caught.

Regardless of this being her previous neighbors' house, Althea had never set foot inside it before. They were much lower than Althea's parents in social status, and Nolan and Brooke couldn't tarnish their pristine image by associating with such people. Althea's parents had always acted like their neighbors were an embarrassment, so Althea still wasn't quite sure why they would lower themselves to even living next to them. Few things her parents did made sense though, so Althea tried not to think about it.

Althea stood in what appeared to have been a tiny sitting room that opened into a kitchen. The floor was bare wood which had seen better days. Deep nicks and scratches had been etched into its surface, creating a web which looked to be covered in dust. There were still a few things left over from the previous owners, including an armchair that had been covered by a sheet as well as a broken table with only three legs. Some trash was still scattered about the place, such as an empty glass jar in the corner and discarded scraps of parchment. It almost looked like whoever had lived there had left in a hurry, and the broken table in particular sent chills up Althea's spine. Perhaps they hadn't just moved like Althea had always thought; maybe they had been chased away by someone. Or something.

On the far left side of the room stood a fireplace, the thing which Althea desperately needed right now. November had brought with it some chilly air, and after wandering around outside for most of the afternoon, Althea felt frozen to the bone. Her fingers were even beginning to go a bit numb, so she rubbed them together as she made her way across the room. She wasted no time in aiming her wand at the empty stone fireplace and murmuring, "Incendio."

Flames roared to life, and it only vaguely came to Althea's mind that it would be a problem. Someone would most likely notice the light or the smoke from the fire eventually, but it was a chance she needed to take. It was already quite cool outside, and it would only get colder as the sun continued its trek past the horizon. Besides, if the rest of the town was made up of people like her parents at all, they would be concerned about themselves and not what their neighbors might be doing.

Dropping her bag to the deeply scarred floor, Althea made her way back to the abandoned armchair. She grasped the dingy sheet that had been placed over it and pulled it off. Doing so sent up a cloud of dust particles into the air causing Althea to cough. She took a moment to rub at her eyes and when they cleared of tears, what she saw horrified her.

The floor wasn't the only thing in the house that had seen better days. The ugly striped fabric of the chair had nearly been torn to shreds. Bunches of stuffing were pouring out of ragged incisions, pooling on the floor along with swatches of the cloth itself. Althea could see the wooden structure of the chair peeking out in certain areas, and even that had deep gouges in it. It appeared to have been torn apart by something with claws.

For a moment, Althea tried to tell herself that it was most likely a cat. Or a dog. The previous owners had simply had an unruly pet that liked to destroy the furniture. That was all. But deep down, Althea knew that wasn't true. A small house pet could never do this much damage no matter how hard they tried. It had to be something much larger and stronger.

Althea's eyes were drawn back to the floor, to the deep marks that had been cut into its surface. Now that she really looked at them and now that she had the light of the fire to see by, she realized that it was way more than regular wear and tear a floor would sustain. It, too, had to have been damaged by some hulking animal.

Slowly making her way into the kitchen beyond, Althea got her first good look at the destroyed table. It was laying on its side, its three remaining legs sticking out haphazardly in different directions. The wooden surface of it had also been the victim of deep and marring scratches.

Swallowing hard, Althea glanced back at the carnage that remained in the small house. Something had definitely been there, because this was clearly not the work of human hands. Flashes of various possibilities blinked through Althea's mind – animals with sharp claws, teeth, and fur. Vicious beings that had probably been crazed at the time, growling and tearing at anything and everything in sight. Perhaps even a werewolf just like her, and when that thought hit her, she knew. Maybe because she was a werewolf herself, and she was just able to recognize the work of her own kind. She knew without a doubt that a werewolf had been here, and it would most likely be back. She had no idea how she knew that, but she did. Something instinctual that ran through her told her so.

However, Althea could hardly worry about that now. She had come here, because she needed a place to stay. It would be dark soon, and it would be getting colder still. She couldn't exactly spend the entire night wandering around looking for someplace that might have been safer. Right now, this was as good as it was going to get. Besides, if the creature really was a werewolf like Althea suspected, she was safe for nearly another month until the moon became full again. She would worry about any danger she might be placing herself in when the time came.

Next, Althea went around the house, conjuring shades over all the windows. It wouldn't do for her to overlook something so silly and to spotted by passersby. When she was finished, she pushed the old armchair across the room until it sat next to the fire. Recovering the old sheet from where she'd dropped it on the floor, she folded it in half and laid it out on the floor on the other side of the fireplace, creating a makeshift bed. It wasn't much, and the hardwood floor would most likely hurt, but perhaps she could try a Cushioning Charm on it before she went to sleep.

Sighing heavily, Althea dropped down onto the chair. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, forming herself into as tight of a ball as possible. She was only now realizing just how cold it was, and her fire didn't quite seem as warm as Marek's had. Nor was the chair as comfortable as his couches. Nor did she have his arms to wrap around her and keep her warm.

She was already beginning to miss him desperately, but she tried not to let herself think about him. This was simply the way things needed to be. Although she craved it, she didn't know that she deserved any company, and she wouldn't put anyone else in danger the way she had with Marek.

Little did she know, someone else would soon find her, and it wouldn't quite be the company that she was hoping for. In fact, her life was about to take yet another dark turn, one that she may not be able to pull herself out of.

To be continued…