"Come on, son. Almost a whole week in Tokyo! It's a good offer." Hawkeye sighed, leaning back heavily in the wooden chair. Colonel Potter was right; it was a good offer. Six days of R and R, well away from their little corner of Hell. And usually he'd have been out the door like a shot, probably without waiting for the Colonel to finish the sentence. But this time…
"I'm not sure, Colonel. What if…what if you need me for something? We could get a lot of wounded, and I might-"
"Bull cookies!" Potter interrupted, although good-naturedly. "You're chief surgeon; you've seen the reports. We're not expecting any wounded for at least a week. And even if we were…talented as you are, Pierce, I think the rest of us can handle a few patients without you looking over our shoulders."
"But what if you get a chest wound? I'm a chest cutter, and so-"
"And so is Winchester."
"And so is Charles…but what if-" The Colonel raised his hand, cutting Hawkeye off.
"I think I know what this is about." He found himself imitating Hawkeye as he too sighed and leaned back. "Hawkeye, I've always tried not to interfere with you and Margaret-"
"Apart from when you schemed to get us locked in the supply tent."
"-but I think perhaps now's the time to talk things over. It's rough, the way things are between the two of you. I know." Hawkeye shook his head quickly.
"We're fine; we're friends. Good friends." And it wasn't wholly a lie. It had been three days since Hawkeye's and Margaret's meeting in the mess tent, and in those three days, Margaret's appearances outside of her tent had been frequent. They'd fallen back into an old and familiar routine. Well, almost. It was awkward, strained on both sides, Hawkeye imagined, but they were both putting so much effort into acting like things were perfectly fine, sometimes it had seemed like they really were.
"And I also know that that's eating you up inside. You're getting yourself all tied in knots." Again Hawkeye shook his head, but Colonel Potter didn't give him a chance to interrupt again. "Don't argue with your commanding officer, Pierce, it won't end well for you. You can pretend with everyone else as much as you want, but it doesn't wash with me." The Colonel moved forwards in his chair, scrutinising the younger man carefully. But Hawkeye wouldn't budge.
"We're friends," he repeated firmly. Colonel Potter sighed.
"Alright. I don't believe it for a second, but have it your way." Something very closely resembling smugness fell across Hawkeye's face. "But I still think it would do you some good to take a few days off." Hawkeye's face froze, smugness forgotten.
"So I can get over her, you mean."
"I'm not saying that. For one thing, you've just sat here telling me how you're not under her…uh…so to speak. But maybe it'll help your…perspective on things." The two sat in silence for several minutes, as Hawkeye considered the Colonel's words.
"But…but what if something happens?" He eventually asked.
"Hawkeye, Margaret's recovering nicely. She'll be ok. And if, God forbid, she wasn't, I'd drop you a line." Hawkeye nodded hesitantly. Colonel Potter beamed at him.
"Good! Here's the pass. There'll be a chopper here in the next hour. And behave yourself in Tokyo!"
Margaret was somewhat surprised to enter the mess tent and not find Hawkeye already there, sitting at a table, fork and nose at the ready. After filling her chair, she approached BJ and Charles, sliding into the seat across from them.
"Good evening, Margaret," Charles greeted. She smiled in return.
"Is…is Hawkeye around?" She asked somewhat timidly. BJ shook his head.
"The Colonel sent him to Tokyo for a week's R&R. Sorry." Margaret felt her shoulders slump as unexpected disappointment swept over her.
"Oh." She responded quietly, but unnecessarily as BJ had resumed his conversation with Charles. It was silly, really. She'd already messed things up between them both, and really, she was lucky he was still willing even to be civil to her, never mind friends. It was already more than she'd realistically expected. But all the same…he could have at least said goodbye. Isn't that what friends did?
But then, they weren't really friends, were they? Oh, they could try as hard as they liked, but the fact of the matter was that you couldn't be friends with someone you were in love with. Not really. She'd just been kidding herself. With Hawkeye, it was either all or nothing. She'd already lost the all, so that left her with…nothing.
"Major?" Colonel Potter knocked gently on Margaret's door the morning of the day before Hawkeye was due back. "Can I have a word?" Margaret stood from her cot, still being mindful of her injury, and slipped her robe on before unlocking and opening her door.
"Good morning, Colonel." She smiled politely.
"Maybe we'd better sit down for this," he suggested, a serious expression on his face. Immediately, Margaret felt all the blood drain from her face. She sank down onto her cot, vaguely gesturing to her desk chair for the Colonel. "Margaret, I have some news…"
"It's Hawkeye, isn't it?" She interrupted quickly. "Something happened to him in Tokyo, and he's not…he's not…" she trailed off, finding herself unable to finish the sentence. Colonel Potter held up a hand.
"Woah, slow down there, Margaret!" He chuckled lightly. "Hawkeye's fine. Well, as fine as he ever is on R&R." He laughed again, shaking his head, before quickly sobering. "I'm sorry, Margaret. I didn't mean frighten ya." He lifted his other hand, revealing the papers he'd brought in with him. "This has been a bit slow coming through…but then you're familiar with the army way. They're sending you home, Margaret." Her mouth fell open.
"But…but there's no reason to…"
"Margaret, you were seriously wounded! That's reason enough in anyone's book, mine included. You've done your duty here, so now you get a stateside posting." He glanced at the outline of the bandage showing against her robe. "When you're all better, that is." She rose, starting to pace.
"But I can't just…these people are my…how am I supposed to say goodbye to them? How can I leave when they're…when you're all still here?" Colonel Potter sighed.
"Margaret, that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about. It might be…difficult for you to make all your goodbyes." Margaret frowned.
"What do you mean?" He handed her the paperwork.
"I told you this came through on the late side. You leave tomorrow morning." Margaret stared at the writing in front of her.
"Tomorrow…so soon…" She tore her eyes away. "Is… Will Hawkeye be…?" Colonel Potter placed a hand on her shoulder.
"He might be. But it's possible you're just gonna have to go home without seeing him." Margaret didn't respond. How could she? She wanted to scream or cry or hit something. Just when she thought some degree of fairness was starting to enter her life… She'd resigned herself to having nothing more than a friendship with Hawkeye. But there had been a spark of hope that wouldn't go away, that reminded her that their previous relationship had been born from a good friendship, and that things could change. But not now. This was it. The end. And she wasn't going to get to say goodbye. Colonel Potter cleared his throat.
"I know this is hard for you, Margaret. I know you and Hawkeye are still very…close." He offered her a smile. "I'm an old fashioned kind of man. I still believe that love'll win out every time. I'll be damned if you two don't fine each other again." He reached for her, enclosing her in a warm embrace. She leant her head against his shoulder.
"I hope so Colonel."
