A small, bemused looking blue skunk walks on-stage, blinking under the bright lights as he removes his bowler hat. He looks at the hat carefully for a few moments, sighing gently as he runs his fingers along the slightly worn rim.

"Hmm... This looks pretty bad after seeing the great hat Ludwig had."

Sighing again, he turns his hat upside down and peers inside, removing a white envelope.

"Well ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 2002 annual toothpaste awards! Sponsored by 'Mighty White', the toothpaste that makes your teeth go....er... mighty white! I'm sure we're all shaking with anticipation as we await the list of winners, toothpastes from all around the world battling it out for the ultimate prize. Not since the great teabag race of 1904 has the excitement been -"

**Sean pauses, cocking his head to one side as he hears a voice in his little hidden earphone. A few seconds pass as stray crickets chirp in the otherwise dead silence. The audience shares puzzeled glances. Moments later a tumbleweed blows by**

WE APOLOGISE FOR THE MOMENTARY BREAK IN TRANSMISSION. THE UKE AWARDS WILL RESUME SHORTLY. IN THE MEANTIME, HERE'S A NICE SOOTHING PICTURE OF SOME WAVES LAPPING ON A MOONLIT SHORE  (elevator style music plays in the background... the faint sounds of someone getting hit over the head audible in the distance )

The lights come back on, a dazed look on Sean's face along with an obvious black eye.

"Welcome back to the UKE awards 2002! I'm Sean Campbell and I'll be your host for the Miscellaneous section. Before I announce the winner of the first award I'd like to thank you all for being here tonight. It's not often we see such a fine collection of toons in the one place... mainly because they stopped making TTA back in 1995. Oh well...

You know, one of the great things about the UKEs is the way that time and space seem to loose their meaning throughout the ceremony, different parallel universes merging for the occasion. For example, if you look towards the back of the auditorium you can see the TTA gang as they appear in Abel DuSable's stories! And to my right you can see the gang as they appear in the works of Pepe K! And there to the left... just down a bit, the gang as they appear in Kevin's stories! In fact, dotted all around us are the various versions of the TTA gang as visualised by the many different authors who make up the fanfic community. Isn't physics wonderful? But if you tilt your heads up towards the balcony there... right up....  You see those familiar faces looking down on us? It's the TTA gang as they appeared in the show itself! Yes, they've been kind enough to come all the way from Acme Acres to be here tonight... and very curious they are to see how their fanfic counterparts are getting along. Let's give them all a big hand why don't we?"

**A gigantic version of Thing from the Addam's Family scuttles out from behind the stage, crawling up the wall before vanishing across the top of the balcony**.

"Well.... that wasn't exactly what I had in mind but it'll do. How many Fifis we got here? Or is the plural of Fifi simply Fifi?"

**Sean does a head count of all the Fifis he can see**

"Ah, at least 14. No... make that 15. What about Pluckys? Or is it Plucki?"

**Sean starts doing a headcount of all the Pluckys he can see, only stopping when someone in the audience shouts: "Get on with it!"**

"Er... ok.

Anyway, I spoke to Buster Bunny earlier on, trying to finally clear up one of the great questions that has given rise to many interesting fanfic plots..."

*********************************************

The video screen shows a pre recorded interview, Sean standing next to Buster Bunny. Buster is wearing a black tuxedo, chewing on a carrot as he smiles towards the camera.

"So Buster, I know you must have been asked this many times before, but I suppose everyone just has to know for sure." Buster nods.

"I have a feelin' I know what you're gonna ask," he says. Sean smiles. EVERYONE knows what he's about to ask.

"Well.... IS Bugs Bunny really your father?" Buster pauses, taking another bite from his carrot before looking directly at the camera.

"Well Sean, I must have been asked this 2 million times by now so I guess it's time the world finally knew the truth. Is Bugs my father? Well, the answer is -  "

The screen goes blank, image replaced by interference.

WE APOLOGISE FOR THE LOSS OF TRANSMISSION. NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED SHORTLY

*********************************************

"Oh dear. Looks like the tape ran out before we finished. Never mind. Onto the awards!

The award for 'Best Innovative Idea'!!!

===================================

                Instead of answering him, Yosemite pries Buster's fingers off the door until he flies backward into Elmyra's arms. "Hello my little snugglebunny," Elmyra says, squeezing him tightly. "What fun game do you wanna play first? Oooo! Oooo! I know! WE CAN WATCH THE FACTS OF LIFE RE-RUNS AND I CAN DRESS YOU UP LIKE BLAIR!!

(Close up on Buster's fear strickin face)

"Where's the Humane Society when you need em?"

Thu....thee...thu....thee.....thu...thee....that's all folks!

===================================

In second place it's the climax of 'The Doctor is in', where Elmyra finally manages to get her hands on Buster. No easy escape for the blue bunny this time! Well done Clare.

And the overall winner is:

**Sean opens white envelope, jumping back slightly as a piece of coloured paper jumps out**

The winer is....  X Cam, the little webcam that you can put anywhere!!! HANG ON A MINUTE!

**Sean throws the X-Cam advert away**

===================================

                                                               Buster:

                Have you ever said something you immediately regretted?

AHHHHHHHHHH!

                As the 'Bunny' attacks Buster, the camera pans away and all we can hear are it's inhuman growls and Buster's cries for help. A bolt of lightning overhead illuminates an old wooden sign over by the forest that reads...

                Abel DuSable Presents... Stephen Spielberg's Tiny toons in...

                Tiny Toon Adventures Spooky Stories

                The camera continues to pan away through the forest as a familiar white glove smacks against the sign and Buster's cries begin to fade into the distance.

                The trees part to reveal the cold sterling white walls of a hospital on a hill. The camera zooms in through an open window on the third floor into a office where Fifi LaFume and Babs Bunny are clad in candy stripers clothes.  Granny, dressed as a nurse, stands before them with a clipboard speaking to them in an authoritarian manner. In the foreground, on a table, is a specimen jar with a label marked...

                "DON'T TOUCH"

===================================

These pop up ads get everywhere! The real winner is Abel DuSable for 'TTA Spooky Stories', voted most innovative idea of 2001/2002. Well done Abel... let's all give him a big hand.

**Sean glances nervously upwards**

I MEAN LET'S CLAP!!!

- Sean Campbell

**************************************************

Abel heads up the isle to receive his award only to receive a kiss from Sphinxy, Bimbette and Binky as he goes past each one's seat. By the time he reaches the stairs he a dazed look in his eyes, three different colors of lipstick on his cheeks and his walk is a little wobbily and he has to be nudged in the direction of the podium by Sean. The young Sable snaps out of it as the award is pressed into his hands and touches the lip prints on his cheeks with a blush.

"Wow... Most innovative idea. I never expected to win this one. I didn't expect such warm congratulations from the cast either. Uh... I'd like to thank all the fans who voted for Spooky Stories, I'd like to thank the cast and especially the "Away Team Cheerleaders" Sphinxy, Binky and Bimbette for agreeing to appear in their first Major roles since they first appeared in TTA."

Abel heads back to his seat only to ambushed by the three cheerleaders once again and manages to stagger the last few feet to his seat where Enna glances at him with a look of dissapointment and hands him a hankercheif to clean the sextet of lip prints from his face.

-Abel

**************************************************

Congratulations for winning Able. I admit the 'away team' cheerleaders are my favorite part of Spooky Stories. It's about time they finally get the recognition they deserve.

Dennis

**************************************************

THE 2002 UKE AWARDS... SPONSORED BY WEENIE BURGERS. ( Suitable for vegetarians )

**As Abel walks back to his seat ( and the cheerleaders ), Sean once again appears on stage, this time without his bowler hat. He carries the next white envelope in his hand, rubbing his forehead with a green piece of tissue paper before facing the crowd**

"Welcome back to the 2002 UKE awards!

Our next category is the highly awaited 'Best use of a Cabbage in a fanfic' award. So, without a moment's hesitation, here's the nominees!

Ray Bradbury for 'Is There A Bunny in the House?"

Harlan Ellison for 'Whatever Happened to Buster's Pants?'

And of course, Arthur C. Clarke for "Tiny Toons vs. Cabbage Patch Dolls: Odyssey 2077"

And the winner is...

Ray Bradbury for 'Is There A Bunny in the House?" !!!

Sadly, Ray can't be with us today but he did pre-record an acceptance speech... that I couldn't be bothered playing. Instead, let's look at another interview with a TTA cast member, this time everyone's favourite little skunkette - Fifi La Fume!!!"

*******************************************

Sean: "So Fifi, you're one of the most popular TTA characters, even more popular than Buster. What do you make of that?"

Fifi: "Tres formidable! I 'ad not realised zat moi fans liked me so much!"

Sean: "Yes, you have many, many fans... some of whom like you a lot."

Fifi: "Oui! I 'ave read some of ze fanfiction. Sacre Blu! Some of eet ees tres.... em... **interesting** non?"

Sean: "So tell us Fifi... we were told very little about your background and family during the course of the series. Care to fill us in on the details?"

Fifi: "Well, a lot of ze fans have asked me about zis before, so I ave finally decided eet is time to tell all. Why am I living in ze United States you might ask? Why did I leave moi homeland? Well, as ma Mere will be all too willing to confirm, I was-"

Picture and sound come to a sudden stop.

"Hmm... I really must get that video camera fixed."

******************************************

THE UKE AWARDS WILL CONTINUE AFTER THIS MESSAGE...

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For instance, look at this green hat. EXACTLY like Slappy's and just $12.99! It even includes a wilted flower! Ideal for that long day in the office, that important business meeting or just while you're out buying the groceries. And if it rains you can have the officially endorsed Slappy umbrella! Be the talk of the town! Order today!!!

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WE NOW RETURN TO THE 2002 UKE AWARDS...

**Sean is frantically taking down the address details of 'Cartoon Replica Fashions'. He looks up, realising that the cameras are on him and quickly hides pen and paper behind his back. He then holds up the white envelope**

"Well... onward we go to the award for 'Best Dream Sequence'! We have two nominees for this... both written by Pepe K.

===================================

    Fifi lay in bed, tossing and turning, twisting her body inside the sheets. In her dreams, she saw herself on a bloody battlefield, slashing at hundreds of attacking soldiers! Their shining armor was spattered with blood as they charged in fury upon her. Livid with rage, she hacked at them, her sword and foot-long claws ripping their bodies asunder! They kept coming and coming and she kept on killing and killing them all! A murderous frenzy burned in her soul - an unthinking, merciless hatred of all that lives. She stood among the hundreds of broken bodies and roared ferociously, the blood streaming down her arms as she beckoned her enemies to their destruction! Suddenly, she sat up with a start - and found herself shivering in her bed.

===================================

In second place it's Fifi's dream of being the Beserker in 'A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven' part 11.

===================================

     Hamton struggled through the empty forest of barren trees. He ran as fast as he could, but was slowed down by his heavy, freezing wet tattered clothes. He clutched his bleeding, wounded arm and ran for his life. How could this be happening to him? From behind, he heard hounds baying and knew they were after him. Thorn bushes ripped at his legs as he ran on blindly, looking for escape. Suddenly Marc Anthony, Spike and Hector the bulldogs ran up the slope after him. Barking ferociously, Chester, K-9, Sam the Sheepdog and Frisky all came at him from the opposite direction. Hamton saw a small hill with a boulder atop it and struggled up the rocks to reach it. He ducked and hid behind the boulder as the pack of ferocious dogs charged towards the hill. As Hamton's pulse raced in terror, the enraged, bloodthirsty mob poured into the forest ravine like a hungry swarm of army ants, shouting angrily. They brandished axes and shovels, guns and burning torches. Plucky and Buster saw him on the hill and drew their rifles. As they aimed at him from below, Hamton heaved against the boulder to stop them. It toppled over the edge and fell on them - crushing them to death! In anguish and horror, Hamton saw Elmer Fudd release the chains that held back the dogs! The frenzied crowd followed the snarling hounds and they were upon him! Hands were beating and grabbing him as he was dragged to the ground. Hamton struggled for his life, but he was overpowered as they tied him to a heavy pole. He was trussed up to it, his arms outstretched and suddenly he was being lifted up in the air on the pole! He hung there, bruised and beaten, as the horrible mob threw things at him! A hay wagon was brought in to take him away. Bound by the ropes, Hamton hung there, crucified by his friends, until he felt himself falling helplessly towards the wagon! His eyes opened wide as he screamed in agony - and sat bolt upright.

===================================

And in first place... Hamton's nightmare from part 9 of the same tale! Well done Pepe!

**As Sean awaits Pepe K to approach the stage he feels a rusting sound in his pocket - looking down to see that the pop up ad for the mini X-Cam is still moving about...**

- Sean Campbell

*******

*dives up to the stage, wrestes the x-cam ad to the ground, covers it in ketchup, and eats it, then gets back up and walks back to his seat*

*burp*

-Murray Mouse

**************************************************

Pepe K. : Thank you Sean. I'll have more to say when I get back on Sunday, but till then - thanks for the award, everyone!

This has been my shortest speech to date, heheheh!

Pepe K.

**************************************************

WELCOME BACK TO THE UKE AWARDS 2002!

The following segment is brought to you by the number 4 and the letter B

"Hello again ladies & gentlemen ( not to mention that spooky looking giant bug on the wall near the back ), and welcome back to the UKE Awards 2002! Almost at the end now folks, and I know some of you are pretty eager to get out of here and into the restaurant across the street.

The half price special ends at six and I should be finished well before then. ( Mainly because I intend getting first place in the queue )

Anyhow.... in an effort to get things finished as soon as possible I'll read out the winner now."

**Sean removes the envelope from his pocket, carefully breaking open the seal with a brass letter opener**

"And the winner is..... the winner is..... hang on, this can't be right!"

**Sean turns the card around to look at the back before once again staring at the front**

"It seems to be a message.... a message from the society of 'Adults Against Funny Cartoons'"

"I'LL READ THAT IF YOU DON'T MIND!"

**Sean spins around at the sound of the voice and sees an elderly woman walk on stage. She's wearing a pair of half moon spectacles and has her grey hair tied into a bun. Grabbing the card from Sean's hand she turns to glare towards the audience**

"My name is Miss Utter Killjoy," she says. "And I'm not happy. Not happy at all. Myself and my colleagues from 'Adults Against Funny Cartoons' have been watching your little ceremony with great curiosity and I'm sorry to say that we are utterly disgusted by what we can see.

We rejoiced when 'The Adventures of the Tiny Tunes' was taken off the air.... we thought it was gone for good. How many young people were corrupted by this silly show? How many young people went without a daily slice of educational programming because of 'The Adventures of the Tiny Tunes'?

What educational value was there in the misadventures of Buster the Rabbit and Pluck the Duck?

None, that's how much. None whatsoever!

We can't have that kind of show on the air.... it was almost an advertisement for anarchy!

Blue and pink rabbits! Green ducks and purple skunks!

Don't you people realise that all cartoon characters should be a uniform grey?!

Bright colors are dangerous.... against the norm. They might inspire children to be more creative instead of conforming to the accepted view of reality. We can't have creative children now can we? Imagine all the paintings that would be drawn off color by so called 'creative' children. All the works of fiction that might digress from the accepted norm?

I shudder at the very thought.

When I was a young girl I had far more useful things to be doing than watching silly cartoons.

I used to collect cabbages... had a fine collection too. I even had one from Southern Arderia!

Nothing quite as educational as dissecting a nice green cabbage. Sometimes I'd even find earwigs inside! Young people today don't realise what they're missing.

And do you know why they're missing it?

Because of stuff like 'The Adventures of the Tiny Tunes' that's why!

And yet here you all are... keeping the spirit of this dangerous show alive by writing fan fiction and drawing fan art based on it.

Now, if you all agreed to have at least 97% educational content in your fanfics then I couldn't complain. I can think of a dozen concepts off the top of my head.

How about Buster the Rabbit and his friend Hampton The Pig go on a nice trip to the bakery and see how bread is made? Or maybe Pluck the Duck could explain to us all about the life of water fowl? The possibilities are endless for high quality educational entertainment..."

**Sean removes a white envelope from his pocket and holds it out towards Miss Killjoy**

"Well I've got something highly educational in her Miss"

"You do?" she replies. "Whatever is it?"

**Sean hands her the envelope**

"Open it and find out."

**Miss Killjoy opens the envelope slowly, peering inside**

"There doesn't seem to be anything here," she mutters.

**There comes a mighty crash as the X-Cam advert suddenly shoots out of the envelope and hits Miss Killjoy square in the nose. Before she can so much as scream she falls off the stage and into the audience**

"There! Was that educational enough for you?"

**Sean watches with a smile as Miss Killjoy is led away towards the TTA screening room by several fans**

"Make sure she watches 'Elephant Issues' at least 200 times, I'm sure she'll like that one!"

**As the audience applauds Miss Killjoy's exit, Sean once again takes centre stage**

"Well, now that she's out of the way, let's get on with the more important stuff... namely the long awaited 'Best Author' category!

And the runners up are...

Mike Cote! **A loud cheer from Mike and his friends in the audience**

Foxy Fellow! **A cheer from our resident British fox**

Andy Fox! **Whistles of approval from Slappy & Skippy Squirrel as Andy rides up the centre aisle atop a giant rabbit**

Thorne! **The desert mouse looks up from his drawing board and grins**

Jennifer Cleckley & Jerry D Withers! **Much meowing from the two kitties and considerable applause from Erik Wolf**

Abel DuSable! **Abel is too busy talking with the cheerleaders to hear his name. Bimbette whispers something in his ear and points towards the stage**

And the overall winner is...

Pepe K!  **Loud cheer from the ATTEPUH section, the sound of a popping cork as champagne squirts high into the air**

So once again congratulations to Pepe!

And congratulations to everybody!!!

**************************************************

(And now, joining us by proxy as IRL he's off vacationing in the wilds of Vermont, HERE'S PEPE:)

*Pepe K. stands and walks towards the stage with a smile. Suddenly from everywhere at once,music plays in everyone's heads - the rich classical sound of a full orchestra playing the Promenade to "Pictures at an Exhibition" by Modest Moussourgsky. As the french horns and trumpets play the grand processional, Pepe K. turns and smiles at Dr. Lord, who is also smiling. The crowd turns to also look at Lord and he shrugs it off. Pepe K. continues on his way to the stage, arriving as the podium as the music climaxes. The audience applauds appreciatively*

Pepe K.: Thank you Sean, and thank you, Doctor....Getting this auspicious award for the second year makes moi appreciate the help I've recieved. Help from all sides and unexpected sources of inspiration. Of course, I couldn't do anything were it not for all the Toonsters and Looney Tunes and many other toons all over the world. And I couldn't have done it without the support of Fifi and Hamton and Dr. Lord.

    *applause*

There's quite a few other toons and friends and writers and artists involved:

    HKUriah, whose selfless work created this forum and thru whose efforts, it all comes to you.

    *applause*

 Thorne Mouse, whose support and commentary has kept moi going. He's also been the prime creator of art for this chronical.

    *applause*

     Andy Fox, who appears in the chronical. He's been of immense help to Dr. Lord and myself and still continues to do so.

    *applause*

     Murray Mouse, whose artistic contributions and sense of humor have added to this endevour.

    *applause*

     Even though she might despute this - Leloni Bunny has had a paw in helping moi as my most outspoken critic. Though few have seen them... in fact, I think only I have - she has done a few fine pics of the saga. Perhaps some day we'll get to see them?

    *the audience applauds and titters a little as Pepe waves at the lavender bunny, who crosses her arms and smirks pleasantly*

    Something else she might dispute ..she's really a nice person and a good friend.

    *There's more laughs and applause as Leloni throws up her hands in exasperation, then smiles, waves to the crowd and sits back down next to Thorne.*

     Ludwig Van Goff, the sable, has been helpful with his own art and expertise on the Deutche language.

    *applause*

     Then there's all of you who've read my works and written to moi and voted for moi in these awards! Merci beaucoup!

    *general Applause*

     ....There's also one special person here who's been there for moi always - Johnny Winters! His friendship and helpful commentary has kept moi going at this for over 3 years now. Thanks, Johnny!

    *APPLAUSE*

....Finally... yes, there is an end to this list...I'd like to thank the composers and musicians who created the music that has inspired moi: Danny Elfman, Franx Waxman, The Beatles, The Beach Boys and more. Yes, there'll be more to come. Fortunately, Doc doesn't *always* play scary and thrilling classical music in our heads.. but that's for next time.

    *applause*

     And finally - oops! I said that already!...uh... PS!...I'd like to thank my 2 sons and my wife for putting up with my odd hours, endless explanations, droning recitaions, readings for approval – and my blaring jarring music that I play over and over and over again in the house. ..Thank you my dears.

    * Wild Applause as Pepe K. bows repeatedly and walks back to his seat*

:)

--

Pepe K.

(posted by Thorne)

**************************************************

Pepe walked back toward his seat to add his final UKE to the huge pile already gracing the balcony ledge.

Sean smiled at the crowd.  "Thanks, everyone, for a wonderful evening.."

"Wait, wait!" a voice shouted.  Thorne hopped up onto the stage again. "We still have one more award to present," he announced.

Sean frowned at his notes.  "There's nothing here about another one, I'm afraid," he began.

Suddenly, the stage lights faded, turning dim and blue.  Sean looked in puzzlement at Thorne, who shrugged back.

The curtains opened, showing a painted cityscape under a dark night sky. With a buzz, a spotlight came on, projecting a sharp circle of yellow light upon the painted sky. Silhouetted in the light was a cutout of a bat-winged figure with large, round ears.

Thorne jumped up on the podium and struck a pose. "Hark!" he said, forcing his voice very deep, "The bat signal!"

Whoosh!  A yellow, red and lavender blur shot through the air, swinging on a wire above the stage.

"Urk!" grunted Thorne, as the blurred figure snatched him up, and they both flew across the stage and high into the rafters.

As Sean distractedly took off his bowler and scratched his head, the spotlight went off and the stage lights faded all the way down, plunging the stage into darkness.  There was a flurry of muffled sounds and dimly seen movements as stagehands (including Fowlmouth, from the sound of it) changed the set.

When the lights come back on, the stage has been transformed into an office.

RottinKid, dressed in a smart gray suit and looking very severe, stood behind a desk.  Beside her was Erik Wolf, in a police dress uniform. Across from them stood a pair of costumed crimefighters, who might just possibly have been Leloni and Thorne (but nobody recognized them due to their masks!).

"Batmouse! Robun!  Thank goodness you're here!" exclaimed Rottin.

"We came as soon as we got your signal, Commissioner Kitty," Thorne said gravely.

"What's up, Cat?" asked Leloni, with a giggle.

The Commissioner chuckled at the Bun Wonder's high spirits, but quickly became serious again.  "It's terrible!  The recipient of the special UKE award has vanished!"

"Vanished!?" Batmouse sounded shocked. "That will mess up my.. er, Mr. Mouse's presentation.  What happened?"

"Chief O'Wolf was just reporting to me on that," said Kitty.  "Chief, can you go over it again for the Fuzzy Crusaders?"

Erik stopped ogling the Commissioner and snapped to attention.  "Yes, Ma'am!" he said.  "As I was telling the Commissioner, the UKE winner was last seen in the green room backstage.  When our witness, one.." Erik checked his notes, "um, Plucky Duck, went to tell the winner they were on, he found the room empty.  There were signs of a terrible struggle. When my detectives got that, all they found… were THESE."

The Chief tossed three clear plastic evidence folders containing scraps of fanfold computer paper down on the desk.  Robun picked one up.  A few lines of 9-pin dot-matrix printing sat smearily in the middle of the page.  The Bun Wonder squinted to read the poor printing.  Suddenly her eyes widened and she turned pale.

"Oh my GOSH," she said.  "That pun is AWFUL!"

Commissioner Kitty grinned.  "Pretty bad, huh?"

Batmouse picked up the remaining papers and read the verses on them. His shoulders shook briefly.  "Yes, Commissioner, these are some of the worst puns I've ever seen.  Only one toon would be so diabolical, so dastardly, as to kidnap the award recipient and mock us with terrible puns."

"Can you possibly mean..?" Kitty began.

"Holy plot cheese, you're right, Batmouse," Robun exclaimed, "It's got to be him!"

"Yes, Robun, that masked meddlesome mind-game miscreant mustelid," said Batmouse.  "I think we'd better make a call on... the PunAbel!"

Robun scratched her chin.  "But where will we find him, Batmouse?"

"Oh, I can tell y'all that," said Chief O'Wolf.  He's holed up with his gang in the old Acme Products warehouse across town."

Robun raised an eyebrow.  "Um... thanks.  But don't we normally have to figure out all of the PunAbel's diabolical, double-meaning clues _before_ we can track him down?"

Commissioner Kitty shrugged.  "Eh, we're a little short on time. Besides, the writers couldn't come up with anything diabolical enough."

Robun looked rebellious.  "Sheesh."

The lights faded out again, and again there was a flurry of barely-seen activity as the set was redressed by the hardworking stage crew.

When the lights came on again, the Commissioner's Office had been replaced by a seedy warehouse interior, with crumbling brick walls and wooden crates piled high.

In the center, lounging on a thronelike chair, was the thin black-furred form of Abel DuSable, dressed in a bright green sportcoat and bowler hat, both lavishly decorated with exclamation points.  The sable idly toyed with a gold-tipped cane as he chortled at his prisoner.

The prisoner was half seated and half propped on a folding metal chair, wrapped up in many blankets and tied with enough rope to make the bundle look more like a mummy than a living toon.  But alive it was, for it writhed and groaned at the constant stream of awful puns and _bons mots_ that PunAbel threw at it.

A dozen or so generic thugs stood idly around, hanging on to every word Abel said, and being quite sure to laugh whenever he did.

Without warning, a cloud blue smoke exploded into the room!  With a flapping of webbed feet, a short figure in a dark cape and a very wide fedora burst from the smoke.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the guy who talks behind you during the movie! I am.... obviously in the wrong location. Isn't this F.O.W.L. headquarters?"

PunAble raised an eyebrow at the visitor. "Sorry, Buddy," he said, "Steelbeak's in the warehouse across the street. This is the secret lair of PunAbel."

"Dang it!" Darkwing swore, "I wish you criminal masterminds would put out signs.  It would save a lot of time."  He popped a grapnel canister into his gas gun and fired it out a high window with a crash of glass.

PunAble watched languidly as the duck reeled himself up and out the window.  "Crimefighters," he began, disgusted.

Suddenly, the door of the warehouse flew open with a bang and a cloud of grey smoke rolled in.  Leaping out of the smoke came Batmouse, the Cheese Knight himself, followed instantly by Robun, the lavender-furred Bun Wonder.  The Fuzzy Duo struck a dramatic pose as the smoke cleared and the bad guys flinched away.

"We've got you, PunAble!" thundered Batmouse, "Release your prisoner right now, and we'll go easy on you!"

"Yeah, we'll only pummel you unconscious before we drag you back to jail," Robun agreed.

PunAbel frowned in annoyance. "But you ALWAYS pummel us unconscious and drag us off to jail... wait a moment, what's going on here?  Where's the death-defying cliff-hanger that we're supposed to do in every episode? I don't think we can fight you before the cliff-hanger."

Robun shrugged.  "Sorry, we're running short on time.  Something had to be cut.  Heck, they wouldn't even let us work out the pun clues before we came here.  We've gotta cut right to the chase."

Abel leapt to his feet.  "What?!" he demanded.  "I worked HARD on those puns!  They were top-quality, surefire groaners every one, with clues so sneaky and diabolical you'd never have made it here in time.  And you IGNORED THEM?!? Arrgh!!"  The sable was capering about in sheer rage. He pointed a shaking finger at Batmouse and Robun and screamed at his followers, "Get them!  Get them now my minions!"

Batmouse took advantage of PunAble's tantrum to leap for him, ready to subdue the villain. The wiley sable slipped aside and Batmouse bowled into a group of his thugs.  Punching and kicking, the group disappeared into a cloud of violence too intense to show on TV.

Meanwhile, the rest of PunAble's goons surrounded RoBun, menacingly.

One of the thugs, a huge bear, looked the Bun Wonder up and down. "Wait!  We can't fight her.  She's just a girl!"

The entire theatre went dead silent.  Even the fight around Batmouse stopped, frozen in midair as the Cheese Knight's cowled head popped up to stare aghast at whoever had been foolish enough to make such a remark.

"WHAT?????" screamed Robun.  Fixing the bear with an icy stare, she reached into her utility belt and threw a very large elephant at the guy, knocking him right across the stage and out of the theater through a large, elephant-shaped hole in the wall.

The Bun Wonder glared around at the other baddies. "Anyone ELSE wanna 'not fight' a girl?"

The villains looked at each other, weighing their alternatives.  "Nope, we're good."

"Right," said Robun, satisfied.  She pulled out a huge mallet and waded into them.

After a few minutes of mindless violence, the evil gang lay snoring softly in a large, bruised pile.  Batmouse held the PunAbel up by the lapels.  "You never, learn, do you, PunAbel.  Your evil ways will never work..."

He was interrupted by Robun whacking Abel over the head with her mallet, knocking the sable out.

"Rah-BUN!" snapped Batmouse, annoyed.

"Sorry, Thorno," said the bunny, "I just couldn't stand to listen to that speech again."  The mouse looked pouty as she went on.  "And maybe you've forgotten that we have an AWARD to give - ya know, the point to all this nonsense?"

"Oh yeah!  Heh."  Batmouse walked to the front of the stage.  Looking up, he stuck two fingers in his mouth and let out a piercing whistle. With a mechanical creak, the podium reeled down from the ceiling, suspended on wires.  It banged down on the stage right in front of him. Batmouse adjusted the microphone.  "Toonsters, there is someone here who we want to give some special recognition tonight.  He's a toon who works hard for all of us."

Robun noisily dragged the tightly-wrapped figure of PunAbel's victim, chair and all, over beside the podium.  She nodded.  "Sure does!  He spends lots of time every month putting together the mailer for us all."

 "_And_ maintaining the fanfic archive," said Batmouse.

"_And_ he's always encouraging new fan artists and writers to share their work," Robun put in.

"And he's a good friend"

"A really nice, patient guy."

"And a heck of a writer."  Batmouse drew out a nasty looking bat-knife and presented it to the Bun Wonder.  "And I'm sure by now, you all know who we're talking about!"

"Thenk-yo" snapped Robun, and in a whirlwind of slashes, she cut the ropes and blankets free of the helpless toon.

Batmouse reached into the podium and drew out an unusual UKE award. Instead of the traditional gold-plated statuette of a computer topped with the TTA rings, this otherwise similar statuette was rendered entirely in black, white and gray, with elegantly hand inked outlines and flashing white highlights.

The tatters of blanket fell away, revealing a frazzled but otherwise undamaged two-tone toon, whose button eyes blinked at them from behind a pair of glasses..

Robun..er, Leloni, smiled at him.  "We are proud to award Kevin Mickel, our own HKUriah, with a Lifetime Achievement UKE award!"

"This is for all you've done for Tiny Toons fandom on line, Kevin," Thorne said, "Thanks for everything."

Thorne and Leloni stepped back and to the side, taking off their heroic masks and giving HKU, Kevin's two-tone fursonna, the floor.

----------------------------

-Thorne

(With a whole lotta help from Leloni!)

(And a short cameo borrowed from Abel!)

**************************************************

Gee, a floor!  I always wanted one of those things.

(Hey, if Able couldn't, *someone* had to make a bad pun)

Well....  This is unexpected, and rather nice too.   I am quite flattered  that Thorne and Leloni, and Able and Kitty and Erik, have seen fit to go to all the effort to do this, I am really quite honored by it.    Y'now, with a little fleshing out, that whole escapade would make a great new Fanfic...

Uhm...  I really don't know what to say here, so I won't bore you with a long drawn out ramble.  Rather, I'll just say two things.

First, watch for the August Mailer sometime tomorrow.

Second, Thank you.

Kevin