24 Weeks:
"Hey, Charlie, can you help me out with something?" Johnny asked, looking up from the empty orange juice container, the pitcher of water, and the Kraft mac n' cheese.
"Whatever you're planning, I don't want to hear it." Charlie carefully eased herself onto a chair.
"Please just hear me out." She didn't say no, so Johnny kept talking. "I want to prank Mike. Last week, he jumped out at me when I came out of the bathroom, scaring the living shit out of me. I just want to teach him a little lesson: never mess with a Tuturro."
"So you're planning to mix that cheese into the water and put it in the orange juice so Mikey will drink the cheese water instead of OJ?"
"Yup," Johnny beamed.
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. If you want to prank someone, do it right," Charlie dictated.
"Oh yeah? What's doing it 'right' according to the one and only Catherine Demarco?"
"We can start out with the cheese water. He'll think that's it, but the pranks are far from over. We have to target something that is more valuable than just two seconds of the unpleasantness of drinking cheese water when you're expecting orange juice. I propose we attack his sleep."
"You really want to go there?"
"We Demarco's take pranks very seriously."
"How do you suggest we attack his sleep?"
"Alarm clocks. Dozens of them. We buy a bunch of cheap ones, and we'll place them all throughout his room. We set the wake up time five minutes after the other. He'll be up in the wee hours of the morning trying to find all the alarm clocks and shut them off. Maybe Mike will appreciate the lack of sleep that I've been getting!"
"That sounds like something Satan would come up with. It's perfect."
"Oh, but it doesn't stop there," Charlie grinned evilly.
"What Mike did wasn't that bad… Does he really deserve this?"
"It doesn't matter if he deserves this or not, I love pranks. Don't bother changing my mind. I have a doctor's appointment in a half hour, and I'll pick up the clocks after that. And zip ties… but that's for later."
"Chuck! What are you gonna do with the zip ties?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out."
"Please, please tell me it isn't illegal."
"Ugh, don't be a wuss. I know what I'm doing. Anyway, if we want to drive Mike really insane, we can't confess to pulling the pranks. We should do things to throw him off our trail and make him suspect someone else, probably Jakes."
"What am I getting myself into?"
Later that day, Charlie did not care that she was getting a million strange looks for buying such a large amount of $5 clocks. It would all be worth it.
When she got back to Graceland, everyone had left. Quickly, she began her work on Mike's room, placing the alarm clocks anywhere and everywhere. She painted over all the buttons so Mike wouldn't know how to turn it off.
Mike and Briggs got home at the same time, and Charlie smirked when Mike proclaimed how exhausted he was. Briggs noticed the evil glint in her eyes, but he didn't comment on it in front of Mike.
Later, when they were in bed, he turned to her, "I know you're gonna prank Mike. I know you, Chuck, and you have to be careful. I saw it in your eyes. We cannot have a repeat of last time."
"Hey! Bates eyebrows grew back. It was just a little bit of fun."
"You hazed the new guy. I'm surprised he didn't quit."
"It was a prank."
"Just… don't get carried away, okay?" he said, kissing her forehead and turning out the lights.
"Promise."
The next morning, Mike was woken bright and early to a loud beeping noise. At first, he assumed it was one of the new security systems going off, so he reached for his gun. Then, he realized it was not an alarm, but rather an alarm clock. Scratching his head, Mike tried to locate the source of the noise.
It was nowhere. After five minutes of unsuccessful searching, another alarm went off. Mike grinned in triumph when he found a clock under his bed. However, the feeling of victory was fleeting because he noticed that the clock that he had found was not currently beeping. He tossed it on his bed.
"Where are you?" he asked deliriously, stumbling through his room. "Who would do this to me?"
Soon, another clock when off, then another, then another. This cycle did not end anytime soon. In total, Mike only found four clocks. Charlie had hidden 25.
Around 8:30, the alarms finally all stopped. Mike was sleep deprived, but he had to go to work. Half awake, he stumbled down the stairs to find Charlie and Briggs sitting in the kitchen.
"Damn, we're all out of coffee!" Briggs exclaimed. He suspected Charlie had something to do with this.
"What? NO! We CANNOT be out of coffee!" Mike shouted desperately.
"Sorry, Mike," Briggs said apologetically. He cast Charlie a slight glare.
"You can get coffee on the way to work," Charlie added. "You don't look so good, Mike. Are you sick?"
"No, I'm not sick. One of you assholes put alarm clocks in my room and they wouldn't stop going off… You can fill in the rest. I suspect Johnny. Last week, I jumped out and scared him," Mike grumbled. Charlie laughed and pretended to be surprised.
"That's awful, Mike. Apparently we are living with three year olds," Briggs said, the insult directed at Charlie. She kicked him when Mike wasn't looking.
"I guess I'll just make some breakfast. Orange juice will have to do… I want coffee…"
Charlie put on her best poker face as Mike took out the cheese water and poured it into a cup. He took a sip and then dropped the cup on the floor, spilling the orange drink everywhere.
"BLECCCCHHH!" Mike shouted, running to the sink and flushing out his mouth. "WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST DRINK?"
"What just happened?" Briggs sighed. Charlie picked up the orange juice container and sniffed it, feigning innocence.
"Ew, this doesn't smell right," Charlie observed. "What did it taste like, Mike?" Mike, who was currently preoccupied with sticking the kitchen sink sprayer head down his throat, did not answer.
After several minutes of extensive flushing, Mike put the sprayer back down.
"It tasted… cheesy," Mike shuddered. "What. The. Hell."
"Let's throw that out right away," Briggs said. "Charlie can clean up the mess."
"Briggs, I really can't bend down."
"Do your best."
"Hey, man. It's fine. I can clean it up. Charlie can't bend down, and the mess wasn't her fault. I can get this," Mike stated, grabbing some paper towels.
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," Charlie whispered into Briggs' ear. Mike scrubbed the floor, muttering something about how he's gonna kill Johnny.
The next day, Mike rolled out of bed at 9 in the morning. He decided to use ear plugs to block out the alarm clocks. He tried to open his clothes drawer, only to find it wouldn't open. Confused, Mike yanked harder to no avail. The door had been zip tied shut.
Angrily, Mike stormed out his room and pounded on Johnny's door.
"Not cool, man!" Mike shouted. "Zip ties? REALLY FREAKING CLEVER!"
"Chill out, Mike! It wasn't me!" a sleepy Johnny called back.
"Oh, really? You don't know how far I will go to prove you guilty!"
Mike reentered his room and slammed his door. Frustrated, he went to the bathroom, only to find that his toilet was zip tied shut. How someone managed to do that, Mike didn't know. He tried other things around his room only to find them zip tied- his shower door, his cabinets, his brief case, the lid to his laundry basket. The most horrifying item to be zip tied was easily the scissors.
Mike declared a house meeting downstairs effective immediately.
"This has to stop," Mike seethed. The agents of Graceland had never seen him so angry. "Who is pranking me?"
No one spoke.
Dammit, Mike thought. These people are trained in interrogation. Whoever did this won't fess up.
"Johnny, I know it was you," Mike sighed.
"Dude, I told you: it wasn't me. I'm not that clever!"
"Who else would've done this? Paige? Charlie? Briggs? Jakes?"
"I wouldn't do this to you," Paige said, kissing him on the cheek. "That would be mean."
"I'm kind of losing my mind!" Mike yelled. "NO MORE PRANKS!"
Briggs cast Charlie a disapproving look, but she just rolled her eyes. When everyone left, Briggs turned to Charlie.
"You made the poor kid lose his mind. Are you done yet?"
"Fine. I'll stop with the pranks. I thought it was funny," Charlie mumbled.
"To be honest, I thought it was funny, too," Briggs chuckled. "You kind of made Mike go off the deep end."
"Sorry, I'll cease fire!" Charlie surrendered.
Mike never found out who pulled all the pranks. He took a couple of the clocks into the office to get them tested for finger prints, but there were none. He tried to check the security cameras, but the footage had been erased. Luckily, the culprit took all the clocks out of his room and removed the zip ties. Mike figured that no real harm was done, so he'd stop his investigation and let it be. But next time anyone dared to prank Mike Warren, he'd be ready.
A/N: I think this happened because I spent too much time watching The Office. I love it when Jim pranks Dwight and he loses his mind. I don't even know. I might post another chapter tonight if you guys want it!
