Kageyama waited until he was sure that Hinata was deeply asleep before he carefully disengaged his hand from Hinata's loosened grip and stood up from the chair. Even then, he couldn't bring himself to leave until he'd woken Hinata's father and told him what was going on. Kageyama couldn't be there constantly to hold Hinata's hand when he needed it—never mind how a small, fiercely protective part of him screamed that he wanted to—but someone should. Mr. Hinata had been sleeping overnight, anyway, so they already knew Hinata shouldn't be alone. They would just have to keep an eye out so they didn't miss when Hinata needed extra support and comfort.
Even then, it was hard to leave the room, hard to walk down the hallway back to the car to leave. Kageyama had all but trotted on his way to Hinata's room, never running but never quite walking, either, and the reverse trip felt agonizingly slow. His mother said nothing, allowing him his space. He almost fell asleep in the car, soothed by the movement and by her strong, steady presence, but once he was in bed at home it seemed to take forever to drift off despite the fatigue that dragged at him, the soul-deep ache in every muscle and every bone.
The next day was slightly easier. Though his body hurt with a deep, abiding ache that he knew wouldn't fade for days, his mind was not as clouded and confused. Some things that had been murky and dark were now as clear as the air after a spring shower. He knew his purpose; he knew what he needed to do. It was simple. He needed to keep training, keep pushing his limits, keep doing everything he could to improve his skills and increase their chances of winning the next match. And he needed to do everything in his power to help Hinata heal and get better and leave this act of violence in the past. Whatever it took, whatever was required of Kageyama to make that happen, he would do it.
Whenever a flashback came—and they did, they still did, part of him wondered if they would ever stop—Kageyama took a moment to center himself. He closed his eyes and breathed, slow and steady. He accepted the pain, the terror, the overwhelming horror. He let the wind pass through the flimsy house.
Yes, this happened. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me. But it's over. Hinata is safe. I'm safe. It will never happen again. Daichi said so.
It was weird, maybe, but that last phrase was the most reassuring of all of it. What Suga said was true. Captain was right more often than he was wrong. And Daichi wanted this particular thing to be true very, very badly, so he would make it so. Kageyama was as certain of that as he'd ever been certain of anything in his life.
He did skip morning practice again, this time because his body was so exhausted that he never even heard the alarm calling him to get up for it. He phoned Suga to explain, and Suga did not seem at all bothered or even surprised. Everyone was a little off their game, a little out of rhythm, Suga told him, so practice wasn't particularly productive right now, anyway. "But come in the afternoon, right? We'll visit Hinata again."
Kageyama agreed readily. He was looking forward to it.
He even managed to pay attention in class. All right, mostly. Sometimes. Okay, not very well. But it was better than yesterday.
Afternoon practice was...almost soothing. They did nothing special, just drills that they'd all done dozens, maybe hundreds of times. But it was good to be there, good to be surrounded by the team, though they all missed Tanaka and Hinata. Practice was short, but it grounded and steadied them. Then they all piled into Takeda and Ukai's cars and Tanaka Saeko's van and drove to the hospital. Both Tanaka siblings were with them, which was something of a relief. Nishinoya and Tanaka bumped fists, and everyone pretended that Tanaka didn't look like he'd gotten no sleep for the past two days.
He should talk to Suga. Kageyama made a mental note to inform him.
They split into a few groups again, not wanting to overwhelm the little room. Again, Kageyama went with the first group. The hospital looked different in the daylight. Less claustrophobic, more plain and ordinary. Hinata's room was sunny and bright and full of gifts, flowers and cards and silly little stuffed animals from the gift shop downstairs. Kageyama hadn't noticed any of it last night, and he found himself gaping at the bounty.
A lot of people cared about Hinata at least enough to send a token or a trinket. A lot of people.
Good.
When they came in, Hinata's bed was raised so that he was almost sitting, though his head lay limply against the pillow and his eyes were heavy. Kageyama only saw that for instant, though, because the second they entered Hinata perked up, beaming like the sun. He reached out for them with both hands, calling a greeting, so like an innocent little kid excited to see his playmates that Kageyama would have rolled his eyes if last night hadn't still been fresh on his mind.
Nishinoya ran ahead of the others, his hands outstretched in return. "Shouyou!" They caught each other's hands and gripped tight, fingers twining together.
It was...stupidly adorable. Kageyama could see the thought on everyone's faces, including Mrs. Hinata's. She'd been standing by the window, arranging some flowers in a vase, but now she was watching her tiny son interact with his tiny friend, affection glowing in her eyes. Suga released a quiet chuckle at the sight, and even Daichi huffed out a breath in fond amusement.
An immediate chatter began. Kageyama hung back from the main group a bit, looking around the room cautiously. Mrs. Hinata caught his eye. "Looking for something, Kageyama-kun?"
"Uhh…" He grimaced, but didn't see a point in trying to lie. "Just wondering if Natsu-chan was here."
Mrs. Hinata grinned. "She's with a babysitter for the day. She doesn't much like this place. But she's certainly looking forward to seeing her big brother at home this evening."
Nishinoya had fallen quiet for a moment in respect for the adult talking, but now he turned back to Hinata, bouncing on his toes. "Is that right? You're going home later today?"
"Yeah. I can't wait to get out of here."
"Hey, I bet, huh? What a boring place. There's not even a TV in this room."
They were still holding hands. Kageyama watched their entwined fingers, unaccountably bothered. It shouldn't be a big deal, but... Hinata's knuckles were pale. Nishinoya was gripping Hinata in return, but not nearly as hard.
Hinata frowned at the comment. "I'm not supposed to watch TV."
"Uuuaa? No kidding?" Nishinoya looked at Mrs. Hinata for confirmation.
She nodded. "The doctor says that Hinata has to let his brain rest. No TV, no books, no video games. It's too much of a strain."
Kageyama was still watching their hands. He was pretty sure he saw Nishinoya start to loosen his fingers, preparing to let go, but Hinata tightened his grip. So Nishinoya remained where he was, solid and straight at Hinata's bedside, as if he really was the guardian deity of Karasuno. If he was perturbed by this unusual clinginess from his kouhai, he didn't show even a hint of it.
"Ah, but at least that means no schoolwork then, right?" Nishinoya grinned at Hinata, earning a somewhat weaker smile in return.
"Can he at least have visitors?" Tanaka asked. It was the first thing he'd said since they'd arrived at the hospital
It was odd for their usually boisterous teammate to be so quiet and subdued, standing next to Daichi with his hands in his pockets and his face almost neutral. Kageyama didn't like it, and he could see that Suga and Daichi were bothered by it, too. But today seemed to be a day for odd, worrisome behaviors.
Fortunately, Mrs. Hinata nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, of course, as long as his symptoms don't get any worse. The doctor said it will be good for him to have some activity, just not too much."
Tanaka smiled. A really nice, wide, genuine smile. Kageyama's shoulders slumped a bit at the sight.
"But our house is so far away," Mrs. Hinata went on. "Surely you all will have better places to be."
"Better than hanging out with Shouyou?" Nishinoya replied. "Never."
"We really would appreciate the opportunity to check in on him," Tanaka said more quietly.
Mrs. Hinata chuckled and waved a hand, but she seemed pleased. "My, what good senpai you are."
"That's us!" Nishinoya stood straight and puffed out his chest. He obviously wanted to point his thumb at himself in his characteristic gesture, but his hands were still full with holding onto Hinata, so he didn't.
They kept talking, plans for when different members of the team could come visit, ideas for things they could do that wouldn't tax Hinata's brain. After a few minutes, Hinata's grip on Nishinoya's hands finally loosened. Nishinoya smoothly released him and stood back, giving the impression that it was all entirely natural, but Kageyama didn't miss the almost invisible wave of relief that passed over his face. When he thought no one was looking, he gave his hands a careful shake, trying to dispel the cramped feeling.
Hinata, meanwhile, was tensing up, his shoulders gradually rising toward his ears. His face had been happy and relaxed while Nishinoya held his hands, but now all that was slipping away. His fingers clenched in the blanket over his stomach, tightening and relaxing, over and over.
Kageyama scowled, eyes narrowing. He hadn't been here yesterday, but from what Suga had told him, this seemed like a new thing. Hinata didn't seem to be having any trouble staying awake today, but he was having trouble with...this. Whatever this was. Disorientation? Did he need some kind of tactile sensation to help him keep a grip on reality? Was he still feeling dizzy and detached?
Whatever it was, Kageyama knew what to do about it. He'd already done it once. It wasn't really difficult, just a little awkward and overwhelming. But when was anything involving Hinata outside of a volleyball court not awkward and overwhelming? Never, that was when.
Kageyama made his way through the press of bodies until he stood next to Hinata's bed, taking Nishinoya's place as Nishinoya moved around the room, looking at and exclaiming over all the gifts Hinata had received. Hinata glanced at Kageyama sideways, but made no move to reach out. Did he think Kageyama was embarrassed to do this in the daylight?
Whatever. Maybe he was. But that didn't mean he wouldn't do it. Kageyama's cheeks were too warm, and the room suddenly seemed stuffy and claustrophobic, but he did what he had to do. He reached over for Hinata's hand and held it, close and warm, palm to palm and fingers wrapped around the back like the clasp of a key in a lock.
Hinata gripped him in return, though not so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders lowered, his head relaxed back against the pillow, and his eyes looked heavy again.
After a few minutes, someone moved a chair over behind Kageyama's back. He didn't see who it was. He sat down, still holding Hinata's hand warm and safe in his.
Nishinoya and the others kept chatting with Mrs. Hinata, keeping the room full of life and laughter. Hinata was going home tonight, and in a few days he would be able to come back to school. Everything was going to go back to the way it had been soon enough.
Even the thought of Isao held no terror for Kageyama here, surrounded by his teammates in the warm sunlight of a beautiful afternoon. Everything was going to be okay, sooner or later. Hopefully sooner. Probably sooner.
If, for a while, Hinata needed to hold someone's hand in order to feel safe and secure, they could deal with that. It wasn't a big deal. Kageyama honestly...didn't really mind it much. It was a simple thing, and it worked. Fighting it would just be silly.
Though he did have to admit a certain appreciation for the fact that no one else felt it was necessary to talk about it.
