Goodbye

Blackpaw sat beside Duskpaw as they grieved for Berrypaw. She had seen Ravenpaw, so angry and heartbroken. She wished she could have eased the pain, but had no idea how to, and the truth was that she couldn't. Blackpaw had came to terms with the fact that when your heart is broken, you must fight the battle alone. Agony is not a war that you can find aid in, and that kind of truth hurt. We were all so happy. We had new apprentices. We were so excited. Berrypaw was excited. You took her away. She had so much to give, and you took her so soon. Blackpaw thought as she stared at the black sky. She could see all the stars, and could have cried. There were so many up there. All of those cats that you have taken... all of those who have died... why must you be so cruel? Why did you bring them to your ranks? Blackpaw questioned silently.

Her gaze moved across the sky as she tried to count all the stars. One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... eleven... twelve... thirteen... fourteen... fifteen... sixteen... seventeen... eighteen... nineteen... twenty... twenty-one... twenty-two... twenty-three... twenty-four... twenty-five... Her concentration was broken and her eyes turned to the side. She saw her sister padding out of the elders' den, looking like she was physically in pain. That's when Ravenpaw, so strong, and brave, and kind, fell to the ground sobbing. One thing about Ravenpaw was that she always tried to be strong. She tried to be strong for everyone, and now, seeing her so torn and shattered, Blackpaw didn't know what to do. She'd never seen her sister so hurt.

She looked at Duskpaw, who was shaking as he grieved for his sister. She turned back to Ravenpaw and noticed a white body next to her now. Blackpaw felt a pang of jealousy as she realized it was Cloudpelt. She pushed it aside quickly, though. She didn't care who was making Ravenpaw feel better. She blinked slowly and turned to Duskpaw. He looked at her, too, before leaning his head on her shoulder. Blackpaw sighed and lifted her eyes to the sky. One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... eleven... twelve... thirteen... fourteen... fifteen... sixteen... seventeen... eighteen... nineteen... twenty... twenty-one... twenty-two... twenty-three... twenty-four... twenty-five... twenty-six... twenty-seven... twenty-eight... twenty-nine... thirty... thirty-one... thirty-two... She counted the stars again. Thirty-three... thirty-four... Her gaze wondered the night sky. Thirty-five... thirty-six... thirty-seven... thirty-eight... She blinked and looked at Duskpaw. He had begun to relax and was slowly slinking to the ground. She watched as he laid down, and silently, he motioned for her to lay down beside him. Blackpaw did as he requested, and her eyes widened as he moved closer, snuggling against her as he buried his nose in Berrypaw's now dry fur.

Blackpaw looked over Berrypaw's body, a twinge of anger in the pit of her stomach. The apprentice's gray fur was sleeked back and smelled of lavender and mint. It looks like she's just sleeping, but she isn't. She isn't sleeping. Why did they make it look like she was? Berrypaw is dead. She isn't going to just wake up! The anger flooded her thoughts and Blackpaw had to force herself not to yowl in the wake of moonhigh.

Duskpaw must've noticed how tense she had gotten, because he looked at her, his gaze dull, and moved closer. Blackpaw sighed, feeling guilty. Duskpaw had just lost his sister, and instead of grieving for Berrypaw, he was trying to comfort her. Blackpaw looked at him and nodded before resting her head on Berrypaw's flank. Duskpaw once again buried his nose in the gray she-cat's fur and took a deep, shaky breath. Blackpaw let her eyes wonder over to Ravenpaw, who was beside Blueflower's body with Ashwillow on one side and Cloudpelt on the other. Her normal fierce amber gaze was now dim with grief. Blackpaw sighed and looked up at the sky again. So far, it was the only thing she had found any ounce of comfort in.

Thirty-nine... forty... forty-one... forty-two... She had begun to count again when her eyes focused on two stars shining brilliantly. Oh Berrypaw, why did you have to go? Duskpaw missed you so much. As does Lilyheart, and Rowanleap, and everyone else. Why didn't you just step back? Blackpaw questioned mentally. And what about you, Blueflower? Smalltail, and Ashwillow, and Ravenpaw, and everyone, even the PoolClan cats, miss you. Why did you have to jump in? We could have saved her... you didn't have to go. Blackpaw thought and sighed as she stared at the stars. The twinkled and shone brightly, and the wind ruffled Blackpaw's fur, making her shiver, but she didn't move or look away. She didn't even blink. I'll miss you. I'll miss you both. She said silently and took a deep breath. Goodbye, Berrypaw. Goodbye, Blueflower. She sent her silent prayer with as much love as she could. Goodbye.