Hey guys, guess who is back? Yes it's me, and with me I bring a brand new chapter for you all.
Warnings: yaoi, TalaKai, desolation, solitude, a Brazilian author and any other thing I might come up with.
Disclaimer: I know no one reads this but anyway: I don't own Beyblade.
Chapter 8
September 2
Hi Dimitri.
Today Tala and the others went out with the Blade Breakers.
They didn't call me to go with them. Not that I blame them thought, me being me, probably would ruin their night out, ne?-
They all couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at that.
-Some times, they act like I don't exist at all. So? I am accustomed to be invisible anyway my father and my brothers used to treat me like that, specially after mom's death…-
How could it be that neither of them ever noticed how they treated Kai? Be invisible, not exist… they now were being able to see all they did to him. How bad they treated him. How they were selfish. Kai did not deserve that. God, no one deserves that.
-But it is good to see them getting along so well with the Blade Breakers. It is great they been able to live like normal people for once. Ne Dimitri, the time has arrived.
I started my plan today.
This is the good thing in being invisible: no one ever knows when you are around or not. Well… don't know or don't care, but anyway,
Today I did not have breakfast with them.
I just made it and then left in there for them to eat. They never noticed I wasn't there.
If you had a brain, I am sure you would be thinking 'What? That's your great plan? Ignore them until your death?', but I will get to that point, just wait.
I thought a lot about that Dimitri… about how to take my life away.-
They gasped in the room.
-After thinking a lot, this is the way I came up with: sleeping pills overdose.
That's the best way to do it.
They know I take sleeping pills, so all I have to do is to make a small mistake at the dosage, like taking three instead of one.
All I have to do is to make it look like an accident. This will eliminate any risk of anyone feel guilty about my death.-
'Even in a time like this he still think on the others…' Tala couldn't help but think.-
But it will take me some time until I can do this.
You see Dimitri, by reading my files of the time I had spent in the Abbey, I discovered that my body is strong enough to survive a small overdose. In the current situation, to kill myself, it would take at least eight pills. Taking eight pills instead of one would never look like accidental death, it would be clear suicide.
And I don't wanna a clear suicide.
I read on Internet that people who are close or at least live with a person who suddenly kills itself, can blame themselves for what happened. I don't want that. This possibility almost scares me into not doing it. But it's necessary. This way I'll pay for my sins and they will see themselves free of my existence.
On the other hand, there are people who make fun of accidental deaths. I read something about that on Internet too. They call it Darwin Awards (AN: it exists really and I don't own it), accordingly to the description of the site it was 'awards dedicated to those who kicked themselves out of evolution line in a really idiot way' not exactly those words, but anyway, who knows, my death can become a joke for them in the future ne Dimitri?
Back in to the subject, to make myself able to die with only three pills, I need to get my body weak first. This is the first step and what I've already started.
Stop eating is a start. Only the start.
I know that in the next days I'll be losing weight, so I've changed my way of dressing. Now I wear dark long and loose long sleeved shirts, but I still keep my cargo pants, none of the others said anything about that. What is good, it will only make things easier to me.
Besides I know I'll get thinner soon.
I have always been like this. To me is extremely easy to lose weight, but it's extremely hard to gain more. I don't know the reasons for that, but I have always been like this.
I think it's one of the reasons why I am always underweight.
Well Dimitri for now it's all. G'night.
September 3
Hi Dimitri. It's me again.
Today they left again and I stayed in home alone all day.
Seeing this, I used the time alone that I got and decided to look in the Abbey files once more.
So I went to the library, there is a secret compartment in there, this house is pretty old and seems to have a lot of things like those. Only, they are not in the maps I have, you see this one I discovered by an accident when I ran into a wall on the other day.-
At that Tala smiled a little.
Since he met Kai in the Abbey, he knew Kai was a bit distracted person, and when he got really concentrated in something he would forget the rest of the world. Those who never got close to Kai would never think that of him, but he knew it was the truth.
FLASHBACK
Twelve-year-old Tala entered his room, he had been in the Abbey for almost a year now, and by now he could say he knew his room mate a little.
As he closed the door behind him, he saw his room mate sitting on his (AN: Kai's) bed with a book on his lap.
"Hey Kai, what are you reading?" said Tala walking towards his own bed.
"…"
"Kai did you hear me?" asked Tala as he sat on the bed.
"…"
"Kai?" Tala was getting worried and started walking towards Kai.
"…"
"Kai?" Tala touched on his shoulder.
Kai nearly jumped out of his skin.
"Tala!" he said clutching his chest. "Don't scare me like that…when did you enter in the room?"
"About five minutes ago." Said Tala with an amused expression on his face. "And I have been calling you since then…"
"Sorry about that." Said Kai blushing.
"not a problem." Said Tala smiling "What are you reading?"
"Hamlet" answered Kai, "it was written by William Shakespeare, it's a pretty good novel in spite of the language he uses…"
"Yeah, I noticed it was good, you could barely tear your eyes away from it…"
"Hey Tala…" asked Kai blushing again.
"Yes?"
"Do you want to read it with me?" Kai said blushing even more.
"Sure." Said Tala smiling.
END OF FLASHBACK
After that, many other times they would read some book together. Generally Kai ended up sleeping on Tala's shoulder. Those were good memories. So different of the present reality…
-hey Dimitri can you believe that 1387 children went through the Abbey and that 1319 died there?-
They all gasped again. They never knew so many children had been killed in there. Sure the D-boys knew that the number was big, but not that big.
-Grandfather used to say that every useless piece should be out of the way. He treated not only me but every child in the place like mere pieces of his chess game. He had no fear in sacrificing some to achieve his objectives.
I hope I can pay for this too.
Had I been stronger, many of these kids wouldn't have died.
Most of these deaths happened after I escaped that place.
What can I do for them Dimitri, what?
These are the times I really wish you had a brain, Dimitri. So you could answer me and tell me what to do.
Sometimes it sucks being alone.
September 6
Hey Dimitri.
I haven't left my room since the day before yesterday's afternoon.
I don't know why, but I don't wanna leave the room.
Ne Dimitri, I noticed that my calendar hasn't been touched since September 2. I don't have the strength to go over there and change it.
Why bother?
Why?
It is not like anything would change if I did that anyway.
I started to get thinner.
A few more days and I will be able to do that.
Just a few more days…
EEEEEEEEEEEEEND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOF CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPTER!
Maybe this is a bit short, but don't worry guys, they are finishing the reading of Kai's diary. But I still have no idea of how many chapters this story will have…
But, anyway thanks to:
kaitala4eva: thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter.
Mizuki hikari: here you go Mizuki, a new chapter, hope you like it.
sola-bola: it makes mehappy to see that you liked that idea, yeah it's really good to see that... thanks for the review.
lioku: thank you too lioku, not only for reviewing, but also for supporting my opinion. I think he is a good beyblader, but only good, because Kai is the best! See ya.
Jaheira1000: thank you very much for the compliment! you have no idea of how happy that makes me. when I started this story, I kept wondering if it was really a good idea, to see you saying that makes me feel like I am receiving a great award (not the Darwin's one), i swear you all have no idea of how happy i get when i see you all reading my story. Thank you a lot.
kailover2006: don't worry kailover2006, I will keep updating! I Would never be able to give up on this story, so just you wait and more chapters will come! Thank you!
SilverKaya: i have read the poem and i agree with you. That is a bit of my vision about him too. Thanks for reviewing once again and I really hope we will chat on msn. See ya.
winterblazewolf: yeah, you see many people were saying that this story was very sad, and i agreed with them, so i decided to lighthen up a little. Thank you for reading.
autumnaura: Yeah, i like of reading long chapters, so i try to write long chapters too. Thanks for reviewing.
Yurii Savinov: thank you a lot Yurii! I think that Kai was very cute when he was a kid, so i tried to make him like that. Good to know you liked. Thanks again.
Well guys now i finished of answering your reviews, so i can go, because i swear my left shoulder is killing me! But i get so happy when I see so many people Reading and reviewing, so thank you all a lot! if this story is already in this chapter, it is because of your support. Thank you a lot.
I have a place for you all here in my heart, thanks once more
Ethereal Flower
