Harry Potter and My Little Pony are ruled over with an iron fist by Lord Faustimort.


Severus Snape was not having a good day.

The past three classes had been filled with incompetents, with not a single being capable of brewing a simple boil removing potion. Fools, the lot of them.

The next class promised to be a similar waste of time. The first year classes always were; nobody seemed capable of understanding the subtle art of potion making until their late teens, at the very least. The last person he'd seen with the correct attitude was...

Well, he wasn't going to dwell on that. It seemed there was a special visitor for this class. Namely, one System Baker. Obviously, he'd be an utter disaster, especially if paired with Longbottom, as he seemed likely to be if what Minerva had said was true.

Severus was hoping that by allowing the two to pair together, he could maximize the likelihood that one pair in the group was comprised of decently attentative students by eliminating the two worst ones from the candidate pairs. It was risky, as he was almost certain that Longbottom alone could twist a cauldron into scrap metal, but that was what vanishing charms were for.

Checking the clock ticking away on the corner of his timetable, Severus prepared to meet the class that would most certainly burn Hogwarts to the ground, fulfilling the wishes of several thousand goblins if Professor Binns held an ounce of truth behind his deadly drone.


"Ah yes. Potter-"

"Baker," Rarity interrupted loudly, and Snape glared holes into the System.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for speaking out of turn. Clearly, our new celebrity has nothing to learn from my Potions class. Tell me, 'Baker'," Snape made sure to layer as much sarcasm onto the word as possible, "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

Fluttershy and Applejack gasped in synch while Twilight smiled, but the rest of the system raised an eyebrow.

"Just how are we supposed to know that?" Rainbow Dash whispered loudly. Twilight just sighed.

"The basis for a Drought of Living Death, sir," Twilight answered, and Snape gave the System an odd look.

"And, um, thankyousir," Fluttershy added in a mumble. Applejack patted her on the back as she stood stock still, amazed by her own outburst. The students stared, completely missing whatever Fluttershy had picked up on.

Snape's eyes widened almost imperceptably, before he nodded without acknowledging Fluttershy's thanks. "Correct, Baker. I am glad to see that at least one person has read the textbooks in advance. Perhaps there is hope... For a very select few of you." He turned towards a test tube and took it from its rack, scrutinizing the blue liquid inside. "You are here to learn the subtle art that is potion making. I do not expect you to understand the magic of a smoking, simmering cauldron, of brews that bewitch the mind and ensnare the soul. I can teach you how to bottle fame, to brew glory, and even put a stopper-" Snape twisted a cork onto the test tube in his hand, never taking his eyes off the enchanted students, "-on death. If you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

The System shivered in their seat as Snape's eyes locked with their own.


Had it failed? How?

"-ere's so- -there..."

Ah, so it had worked. He could hear the voice of Baker's mind...

"But- -sn't even make sense..."

"HEY! Get outta our head!"

"Rainbow! We don't even know how he got here!"

"Who cares? He needs to get OUT!"

Severus felt like he'd been hit by a train, as if Baker had suddenly thrown up an occlumency barrier and he'd run headfirst into it. He'd had the same problem with the headmaster at one point, but against a child? Inconcieveable.


"Twilight, are you sure you read th' instructions right? I mean-"

"Yes, Applejack, for the last time! Why do you keep asking, anyway?"

Applejack sighed and shrugged. "I don't rightly know, Twi. I just get this sorta feelin'. Wouldn't the pumpkin seeds work better if we crushed 'em?"

Twilight tilted her head to the side. "Well yes, I suppose that would speed up most reactions, and judging by the next few steps the reactions wouldn't be explosive or otherwise dangerous..."

"Great!" Was Applejack's only word before she whipped the pestle and mortar out of the schoolbag and poured the seeds into the bowl. Neville opened his mouth to argue but Applejack shook her head and whispered, "I'll tell ya when we get outside."

By the end of the lesson, the System and Neville's potion was tied with Hermione and her redheaded partner's, earning each group five points for Gryffindor.


I've been putting this one off because it really doesn't feel like a good chapter to me, but I'll post it anyway I guess. Just don't expect frequent updates from me, but I'm sure you've figured that out already.