I am so so so so so so sorry! I know i said i would update next tuesday like a month ago, but exams are coming up and school and the holidays and everything. I'm so sorry again!
This chapter was particularly hard to write. I spent a good two hours staring at a blank screen, just trying to figure out what to say.
For the girl who asked, no this story isn't close to being finished. I have a lot more to put in it!
So without further delay, enjoy chapter 9!
Chapter 9: The Stupidity of Me
CHRISSIE'S POV
"WHY DO BIRDS FALL DOWN FROM THE SKY! EVERY TIME YOU WALK BY! JUST LIKE ME, THEY LONG TO BE CLOSE TO YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!"
"No! Stop it burns!" I yelled, covering my ears.
"WHY DO STARS SUDDENLY APPEAR, EVERY TIME THAT YOU'RE NEAR?"
"The pain!"
"LAAAAAAAAAAHH LAAAAAAAH LAAAAHH CLOSE YOU! AAAAAAHH CLOSE TO YOU!" Seth sang loudly.
The song ended and I turned off the radio before the next one could come on. Seth singing had to be one of the worst things I've ever endured.
"Thank god that's over!" I gasped, removing my hands from my ears.
"Yup, definitely American Idol worthy," Seth mused to himself, nodding his head.
"You would break everyone's TV's," I muttered.
Gotta love car rides with Seth. It's been a week since I got out of the hospital, a week since I found out Seth was a… wait for it…
WEREWOLF!
Yeah, I didn't believe it either until he showed me! Then my nose had to ruin everything. Oh and one other little detail…
WE FREAKING KISSED!
LIKE LIP ON LIP KISSED!
AND IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME!
I'm sort of on the fence about the whole thing though. I mean, the kiss was amazing and Seth is a hot ball of studly handsomeness and everything, but I'm not… normal… or going to live? And we haven't exactly discussed it since it happens. I think Seth has tried to, but I usually change the subject. For example:
"Chrissie, remember when we were at the beach and I k-"
"I'm craving juice! How about you? You in the juice mood? Because I sure am!"
"Uh… sure Chrissie…"
Yup, distraction 101. Needless to say, the topic has yet to be discussed. Which is why I'm slightly nervous for today because if my spidey senses are correct, Seth will probably attempt again to discuss something that I'm not all that sure I want to discuss. We pulled up to Seth's house and I stumbled out of the car dramatically.
"Freedom!" I gasped.
"Drama queen," Seth sighed, putting his arm around me and leading me up to his humble abode.
"I'm sorry, but that was just awful," I sighed.
He laughed, "Alright, I promise never to sing in the car with you there ever again."
"Or in my house, or in your house, or in anyone's house, or in a public place, or anywhere in my presence," I said.
"Hmm, that's pretty farfetched don't you think?" he asked.
I shrugged as he opened the door to his house, "MOM I'M HOME!"
"Seth, this is a small house you don't have to yell," his mom called from the other room.
"Sorry mom," Seth said, pulling me upstairs.
I sat on his bed as he closed the door behind him, smirking. It looked like he had cleaned the place up since the last time I was here. I could see clothes peeking out from under his closet door. He probably just shoved everything into the closet. Well, at least I know what color carpet he has.
"Something on your mind?" Seth asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I looked up from his stained, cream colored carpet and shook my head, "No just… your room is cleaner."
"Oh yeah, isn't it nice?" he asked, winking.
"Mmhmm."
"Chrissie," he said, calling my attention. Looked up at him.
"Yeah?"
He sat down on his bed across from me, leaning in, "Can we talk?"
"S-sure," I stammered, going red.
"Do you remember last week?" he asked slowly.
"JUICE!" I yelled, panicking.
"Chrissie, please stop trying to change the subject," he sighed. He leaned in a little closer and my heartbeat sped up. Control yourself!
He started getting closer and closer, his eyes on my lips. Part of my wanted him to kiss me, the other half screamed no. My heart was pounding in my throat, hands trembling. Why did I get so nervous around this boy? Oh yeah, because he's trying to kiss me! Me, with ZERO relationship experience what so ever. The logical side of my brain took over and came up with the perfect stall tactic.
"What's imprinting?" I breathed, right when he was about to touch his lips to mine. I hadn't actually thought about it until now, but he sort of freaked out when he said it on the beach, so it must be important.
He froze and pulled back, "Oh yeah, there's that," he sighed.
"What is it?" I asked, relieved my method of distraction worked. I could be a bank robber with these distraction skills!
How would that make sense at all?
I don't know, I could distract the police guys and uh… rob the bank?
Yes, randomly talking about juice will totally help you get into that bank. You'll be a millionaire with thos tactics.
Oh just be quiet, I was having a moment.
"Imprinting," Seth began with another sigh, "Where to begin?"
"Well you could begin from the beginning? Or maybe the middle? Or the end if you really want. Or we could go get some juice! That sounds nice! And we can sit really far apart from each other! You know what, let's do that-"
Seth covered my mouth with his hand, "Chrissie, I'm gonna need you to be quiet for a few minutes if you really want to fully understand what imprinting it."
This sounds important. Really important if Seth has his serious face on. I nodded under his hand.
Shut up and pay attention!
"Chrissie, I'm sure you know by now that I… I like you a lot. A whole lot."
Aww that's so sweet! He likes me a whole lot!
"And you know that I'm a werewolf."
A… BALD… werewolf!
"Chrissie, there's a reason I'd rather be with you than anyone else in the whole world. A reason I want to be there for you through everything. It's because I imprinted on you."
There's that word again!
"Imprinting is when a wolf sees their… mate? It's like a force, the most powerful force on earth that pushes them towards that girl. It's like… all they can think about is her and they just want her to be safe and happy."
Safe and happy. I can deal with that.
"Sam imprinted on Emily. Jared imprinted on Kim."
I sense a pattern going on here.
"I guess it can most easily be described as love at first sight."
… no comment…
"And Chrissie, from the moment I looked you in the eye at that hospital cafeteria, you've been my entire world. I care about you more than anything else."
Seth! That's so sweet!
"You are the most important thing in my life! And I vow to protect you for as long as I live, and then some."
Wow, I never thought Seth to be the romantic type, but this is really sweet!
"Chrissie, you are amazing and beautiful and funny. You fill my life with wonder and rainbows of happiness! I can't help but smile when you walk into a room."
AWWW!
"Chrissie, I love you."
Hold up!
"L-love?" I asked quietly.
"Yes Chrissie, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else! Your life is more important to me than even my own! I love you Chrissie! I really do!" he announced, smiling widely.
I stared at him for a moment and then burst into tears.
"Whoa, I didn't want you to cry! It's okay Chrissie! What did I say? Oh man, I'm sorry! Oh God I really screwed this up! You-"
"I'm a horrible person!" I cried.
"No Chrissie! You're not! You're the most amazing person in the entire universe!"
"I'm serious Seth! I'm not fishing for compliments! I can't believe I did this to you!" I said, burying my face in my hands.
"Did what? Chrissie imprinting is the most wonderful thing I've ever done!" he exclaimed, taking my hands in his.
"Well un-imprint or something!" I yelled, pulling my hands away.
"W-why?" he asked, his voice going up at the end.
"Just let me get this straight," I said, standing up, "You love me more than your own life itself?"
"Yes!" he said, smiling.
"You would do anything for me? Even sacrifice your life?"
"Yes Chrissie! Anything!"
I took a deep breath, "I'm your r-reason for existence?"
"Yes! My one and only reason for living," he sighed, taking my hand again.
"No! Seth this is terrible! Seriously, take back the imprint!" I yelled.
"I c-can't! It's natural!" he said, looking suddenly hurt again.
"Crap! This is really bad," I muttered, pacing the floor once or twice.
"Why? Chrissie what's wrong?"
"Don't you get it? I am going to DIE Seth! I'm going to die! Then where are you going to be?" I yelled. Every time I said the word die, he flinched proving my point exactly.
"You're not going to die, Chrissie," he muttered.
"Yes I am! This imprint thing has taken over your mind! You can't even accept that I might not wake up tomorrow!" I growled.
"Silly, you're on chemo! You will get better!" he sounded desperate.
"No I won't! Not this time, Seth," I said, pinching the bridge of my nose like my mom does when she's stressed. OH GOD! I'm turning into my mother. This day sucks.
"You're going to get better!" he growled.
I looked up and took a step back. His hands were balled up and he was shaking.
"I'm leaving," I whispered, "Please Seth, let's just… forget this ever happened. We can both go on with life pretending this never happened. It would be better for y- for the both of us that way."
I speed walked out of his room and outside of his house. The walk home couldn't be that long and I could always call my mom. She knows where Seth lives. I walked down the sidewalk towards the exit of La Push, determined to be out of here soon. I froze and whirled around when I felt Seth's hot hand on my arm. He was literally crying. People cried around me all the time, I was used to it. But Seth crying had a bigger impact. He was usually the strong one, the protector. He looked weak, almost childish with tears in his eyes.
"Chrissie, please," he whispered, "We can work this out!"
"Don't you see? We can't work anything out. If you stuck around with me, it'd be like I was stringing you along. Just getting your hopes up until I die," I said.
"You're not going to die!"
I stared at him incredulously, but his expression stayed the same. That same hopeless expression that was heartbreaking to look at. He was breathing heavily, his beautiful eyes pleading for me not to go.
"You're hopeless," I sighed, pulling my arm out of his grippity grip.
I turned away from him, tears in my eyes. There was silence and I wondered if he was still behind me, but when I looked back he was gone. Sighing, I dialed my mom's number and told her to come pick me up. She didn't ask any questions, just met me in front of Seth's house, where I was moping on the sidewalk.
"Baby what's wrong?" mom asked tenderly.
"Everything," I sighed, leaning my head against the cold glass window and wishing I could go back to simpler times.
000
Hey Chrissie, it-it's Seth. This is like… the gazillionth message I've left you, but you are obviously ignoring me. Um, I really want to talk to you and I… I miss you. I feel awful about the way we left things off. Please please please please call me back! I really need to talk to you. I need you to hear me out. I came by your house the other day and your dad said you were sleeping so I stood outside your window for a while and… oh god I shouldn't have said that, now I sound like a stalker. Ugh… okay sorry just call me back. Please
Life sucks without Seth. Literally, it sucks. Seth made everything fun! Even just laying around at home when the illness was particularly painful was sorta fun with him there. Now I just lay there and cry a lot. My mom started to think something was wrong with me when I rolled out of bed and moaned like a whale. I was actually just hungry and didn't feel like walking downstairs to tell her.
I know I'm torturing myself when I could just be happy with Seth. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. I know that when I die, Seth will be heartbroken. I'm just trying to push him away while I still can, because this imprint stuff is pretty serious. I don't want him to… kill himself if I died. I'm trying to save his life! He'll thank me for it later. If he cares about me more that his own life, then it must be destroying him inside to see me weak and in pain. Now he doesn't have to see it and he won't be so miserable. Who knows, maybe he'll imprint on some other girl instead and be just as happy.
MY SETH!
Settle down, he's not my Seth. I can't have him! Just because he "loved" me doesn't mean I have to get all possessive.
Ughh I need a distraction! Look at Jay over there, playing with his Star Wars action figures. Not a care in the world.
"Hey! Hey Jay!" I called from the couch.
"Yeah?" he asked, concentrating on his Chewbaka figurine.
"Do you wanna play go fish?" I asked, trying to make it sound fun.
"Naah," he said.
"Come on! Seth and I used to play it all the time! It's really fun!" I tried to sound convincing.
"Naah."
"Come on Jay, allllllll the cool kids are doing it!" I'm a horrible big sister.
"Where are they?" Jay asked, turning to look at me.
BURRNNN!
"Never mind," I grumbled, turning away from him and smushing my face into the couch cushion.
"No! Don't kill me! LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER! NOOO! C3PO get back here!" I heard Jay yelling.
I sniffed. Seth liked Star Wars.
"Chrissie, do you want some water?" Dad asked me from the kitchen.
SETH LIKED WATER!
"Bo banks!" I muttered, my voice muffled from the cushion.
"Chrissie, how many times do I have to tell you not to talk with your face against a pillow?" dad asked, sighing.
"Dorry," I apologized, failing.
"Sooo, I haven't seen Seth around here in a while," dad hinted, sitting on the chair next to the couch.
WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?
"Oh yeah, I uh decided I needed to make more friends," I said nonchalantly.
"Mm, I can see you're doing such a great time with that one," dad mused.
"Hey, the couch and I have had some very nice bonding time," I defended, stroking the couch lovingly.
"Yeah, I think your body is permanently molded into the cushions," he sighed.
"It's comfortable!" I whined, curling into a ball.
"Chrissie," dad sang.
"Go away."
"Chrissieee."
"No."
"CHRISSSIIIEEE!"
"Wha-a-a-a-a-a-a-at?"
"I think you miss Seth," dad said.
"What? Nooo! Seth? Who's Seth? I sure don't know a Seth!" I said cooly.
I gasped when I felt my dad's fingers at my ribs. He knew my weakness! That cruel, cold hearted man.
"Don't. You. Dare." I growled.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAH HAHHAHAHAHA!" I laughed, "AHHAHAHA DAD HAHAHAHA STOP IT AHAHAHAH SERIOUSLY HAHAHA!"
"Admit you miss Seth!" dad warned.
"HAHAHAHHA HAHAHA HA HA HAHAHAHA I MISS SETH!" I yelled.
"Good to know," dad mused, releasing me from his grasp and brushing out of the room. What an evil man. I really don't think he should be allowed to care for me as his daughter. I might need to get child protective services in here.
I stood up angrily and stomped all the way up the stairs, sure to make sure the ENTIRE house knew I was extremely mad at my father for tickling me! And making me say something against me will! I flopped down in my bed and assumed my regular position of being curled in a ball. I must have been really tired because I was asleep within seconds.
Sometime during the night, I woke up. My chest was congesting and it hurt so bad I could barely breath. I tried to call for help, but the minute I sucked in a breath, I felt my eyeballs roll back in my head and was convulsing like crazy. My arms and legs twitched, my mind going in and out of reality. At one part I felt my arm knock my lamp of the nightstand. I was out. A few seconds or maybe hours later, the door to my room opened and I saw my mom's face.
The last thing I remember is seeing the face of an unknown doctor. A paramedic I guessed as I was being wheeled into the ambulance on a stretcher.
Every time I think I could be getting remotely better, something like this just has to happen. But oddly enough, while the panicked noises filled my ears and blurriness clogged my mind, the only person I could think of was Seth.
And how much I missed him.
