Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. More humor, enjoy!
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025 – Prank War 2
"I'm a Barbie Girl! In a Barbie Wooorld! Life in plastic…It's fantastic!"
The annoying song started so suddenly that half of the board members jumped in their seats. The meeting had barely been going on for fifteen minutes when the blaring music started.
"You can brush my hair! Undress my everywheeere…"
Leon went rigid when he realized where it was coming from…his cell phone.
He snatched at his belt and practically ripped the phone out of his pocket, the caller ID flashing at him merrily to the tune.
"Imagination, life is your crea—"
The other people in the meeting exchanged high brow looks as Leon answered the phone, expression flat and unreadable.
Tifa's voice was sickly sweet on the other end. "How do you like your new ringtone?"
Of course this was her doing, Leon inwardly sighed. Turned out gluing someone to their seat didn't come without repercussions.
"That was weak." Leon replied and promptly hung up. Oh, it was ON now.
One of the older Council members chuckled, "Troubles with the ladies?"
Leon absently turned his phone to silent. "Something like that."
And without another word about it, they got back to the meeting at hand.
(…to be continued…)
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026 - Skill
The microwave went off with a happy ding! and Tifa popped open the door of the machine, taking out her instant-lasagna…well, it was supposed to be. It looked more like a tray of blackened magma.
She grimaced and dropped the ruined platter in the trash. "Another one bites the dust."
"How does one ruin a box dinner?" Leon teased lightly, his back to her as he dug through one of the cabinets in the kitchen.
"It said four minutes! I did four minutes, and it was black." Tifa snapped back.
"Two minutes." Leon replied.
"What?" Tifa looked at him.
Leon had lifted up the box of the lasagna. "It says two minutes."
"No, it—" Tifa snatched it from him, reading the directions. "It says two—I could have sworn it said four!"
"So you can't cook and you can't read. It's a good thing you're pretty." Leon snarked, opening a drawer and taking out some random gadget Tifa couldn't even name.
She smacked him with the box before throwing it away. "Shut up. I'm ordering pizza."
One step. Pause. Sniff. Turn.
"What is that?" She looked back at him.
"Well, most people call it an oven…"
"No, I mean…I thought it was broken."
"Did you ever try using it?"
"…No."
Leon flashed her an infuriatingly smug look, popping open the door of the oven and sliding the dish inside. Closing it again, he turned to see her looking at him in bewilderment.
"You can cook?" She asked flatly.
"Well…yeah." He shrugged.
"You never told me you could cook."
"You never asked."
Tifa narrowed her eyes, leaning against the counter. "What are you making?"
"Something edible. You wouldn't know anything about that." He started putting away the materials he'd been using. "I thought you were ordering out?"
Tifa pursed her lips. "No, this I have to get to the bottom of. If a man cooks better than me…"
"Tifa, a bear cooks better than you."
"…Shut up."
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027 - Malfunction
"This is just ridiculous." Tifa grumbled aloud, pulling a towel about herself as she walked out of her bathroom.
Halfway through the shower, the water just stops. If this was someone's idea of a sick joke, she was going to kick them so hard that they would find their kidneys where their lungs should be. Now, soaking wet, half of her skull still lathered up with shampoo, she moved across her room and opened the door just a sliver, looking out into the apartment.
"Leon?" She prompted.
A grunt in response from the living room.
"Something's wrong with the water."
"What is it?"
"It stopped."
Some noise that was either a sigh or a chuckle. With Leon it was hard to tell. He leaned forward in his seat and saw her hiding behind her room door, hair plastered to her skull and towel in place. His eyes widened slightly and then he immediately looked away. She exhaled in frustration and kept the door only two inches open, enough for her to look through.
"Oh, and you were—"
"—in the middle of something." Tifa finished for him.
"I'll call the desk and see what's wrong." He picked up the phone.
"Thank you." She said, exasperated. "And Leon?"
"Hm." He said, not looking at her.
"We don't speak of this." She warned.
The tiniest of smirks touched his lips. "Deal."
