Fun with Mirrors
Chapter 9
Note: This contains spoilers, and if you haven't played the game, you won't know what I'm talking about.
Link jumped and tried to reach Epona, who was being held by a monkey.
"NUEZ! Gimme my horsey!" Link said.
The monkey pulled a face at Link, and then snickered.
"I will get joo, monkey! Wait! I'll bribe you with candy!" Link said, holding up some weird Hylian snack.
The monkey jumped down and grabbed the candy, dropping Epona into the water in the process.
"Yay! I lub nooj, monkey!" Link said, smiling.
Link realised that Epona was crushing him to death under the water, and Epona was drowning herself.
"AUGH! AUGH! AUGH!" Link screamed, accidentally dropping his Zora Armour.
Suddenly, everyone except Ilia came to help Link out of the water.
Link climbed onto the river bank, and ran to Ilia's house.
"Hey, Ilia! I just almost drowned!" Link said.
"You just interrupted my book sessions! Anyway, have you seen Epona? I told her to meet me here two minutes ago," Ilia said.
"Horses can't understand English!" Link protested.
"Where is she, though?" Ilia asked.
"I think she drowned in the lake," Link said.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!!!???" Ilia screamed.
"I think she drowned in the lake!" Link said.
"Oh, sorry, I have hearing problems," Ilia said.
"I wonder why?" Link said, snickering at the thought of Bo being deaf.
"Anyway, where is Epona?" Ilia asked.
"She drowned in the lake," Link said.
"NUUUUUEZ!!!111" Ilia screamed, grabbing some kitchen knives.
"You must be emotionally attached to those," Link remarked, dashing.
Before he knew it, there was a kitchen knife stuck in his back. (By the way, it hurt.)
"Ow…" Link managed to say.
"MWAHAHAHAHA! I rule the world!" Ilia said.
Coincidentally, Ilia disappeared in a cloud of smoke.
Somewhere else…
Ilia woke up in Hyrule Castle Town, dazed.
Everyone was staring at her.
"Now, everyone, settle down, it's only a girl with a fractured leg and neurological brain injuries!" Zelda said, running to Ilia.
Everyone screamed and ran around panicking.
"That's a good way to distract everyone," Zelda whispered.
"What?" Ilia asked.
"That's a good way to distract everyone!" Zelda shouted.
Everyone stared at Zelda.
Zelda randomly pointed at Princess Agitha, who was standing in the crowd.
The two ran away quickly as Agitha was mauled to death by an angry mob with no morals.
"Now, I want to show you something cool," Zelda said.
"I like cool things," Ilia said.
"Whatever," Zelda said, slapping her forehead.
The two got to a small building in the quieter part of town.
"Here it is!" Zelda said, showing Ilia a triforce piece in a bottle.
"You really over use those bottles," Ilia said, unimpressed.
"Well, you seem perfect to kill Link," Zelda said.
"WHAT!?" Ilia screamed.
"You see, I'm too geeky, Ganondorf was too macho, but you're just right! See? You can already subconsciously throw daggers and wield swords!" Zelda said.
"Okay!" Ilia said, putting her hand in the bottle and somehow acquiring the Triforce of Power.
Back in Ordon…
Ilia stepped into Link's (newly rebuilt) hut, with hooded robes on, so she looked 'truly' evil.
"Hi, Ilia! Would you like to look at my floorboard collection?" Link asked.
"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Ilia laughed.
"No! That's not right! You threaten him first, then laugh evilly!" Zelda's voice said.
Ilia quickly jumped out and in again.
"I have come to kill you!" Ilia said.
Link poked Ilia in the eye.
"AUGH! AUGH! AUGH! AUGH!" Ilia continuously screamed.
"Let me do it!" Zelda said, pushing Ilia out and jumping in. "I have come to kill you!"
"Hey, you've gotten more evil since I last saw you," Link said.
"…" Zelda said.
"Shouldn't you say something more heroic instead of acting like a super evil villain and laughing like one?" Link mocked, laughing.
"Well you've gotten more hyper! And you can't think of witty come backs!" Zelda said.
"Shut up!" Link said, scowling.
"I will now knock you out cold and take you to the nearest dungeon to be eaten!" Zelda laughed.
Suddenly, Zelda was knocked out by an accidental blow to the face with the flat of a sword.
"Bo! You've come to save me!" Link said, sarcastically.
"I did all the evil tasks you wanted me to. Now can I kill Link?" Ilia asked, stepping into the doorway.
Zelda didn't reply.
"I guess you'll have to kill me next time!" Link laughed.
To be continued… OMG CLIFFHANGER!
