Broken:
In this chapter we will learn for Smaug's reasons for keeping Raelynne alive. The reasons will still end up being a bit obscure, as they are a bit of a mystery that will be figured out slowly as the story progresses, but I'll give you guys a taste here.
Though Raelynne does not sing in this chapter, I listened to Jack White's "Love is Blindness" A LOT while writing this chapter. I don't know, it just seems to resonate. But enough about that kiddies, onwards to the bitter-sweetness of Raelynne's life!
From all edges, the darkness kept Raelynne company during her lonely recovery from the dragon's toying. Barely conscious and healing, she had been locked away for what appeared to be a week, but the constant dark of the room kept her only guessing. It was little more than a stone cupboard, only spacious enough to allow her to stand and pace but five steps before she reached the end of it and have to turn around. She did not bother with such meaningless pacing however, as it was all she could do to keep herself warm, wrapped tightly in the blankets Alfrid had allowed her. Her constant shivering brought her other pains besides, as her bruises and sores from her little dance for her master still sang with the slightest of motions.
From the moment he snatched her up in his claws, Raelynne expected and feared the worst when the dragon found her. She had been so sure in her escape, so sure in her hope that the inevitable capture by the dragon ripped out all courage and resolve that had been built up within her, leaving only fear, frustration, and anger. Raelynne had wanted nothing more than to escape the dragon, to have this last desperate wish of hers denied was the breaking point for her. However, as his game with her grew harsh and his hits agonizing, Raelynne recognized that for all his imposing power, the dragon had one surety in common with man. That being his cruelness, his promise of teeth and claw finally meeting her fear as he harmed her with both. He did assure her that he would make her regret trying to escape from him, and such he delivered till she nearly wept. But, though the meting of the punishment was different, its essence was the same, its effect exact to what she had felt countless times before, without a terrifying beast to blame for it. Cruelty, once felt, no matter how strong the will to forget, had a way of keeping with you not only in mind, but on your body, reminding you forever of its marks. At least with scars of the mind there were reprieves in thoughts as it became distracted, so filled with many other cares and worries, most of which Raelynne was apt to keep contained from her many experiences. But painted on her arms and legs were too many bruises that often ached her nights for mere thoughts to make her forget. Worse still, she only needed to look at her face to be reminded of the vilest of her agonies, her sufferings. She only needed to look at her eyes. They were the reason for her pain in the past and for her pain now in this endless imprisonment. Her eyes and her music were the reasons she had been brought to this place, and they would be the reasons for her concluding fate.
It's happening all over again.
To be honest, Raelynne did not know what kept the dragon from killing her the moment he found her, or why he had only ordered Alfrid to lock her someplace out of the way when he returned her to the horde. Whatever had saved her in that moment, she was not certain whether she should be thankful or resentful, for she had no doubt that the dragon was only waiting to think up a more proper punishment to deal to her, as if keeping her locked and starved in this cold room was not enough. But inadvertently, it seemed the master could not see this place for the sanctuary Raelynne was finding it to be, having not had to deal with either him or Alfrid for some time now. Loneliness was her solace while she waited, the dragon no doubt wishing her more ill by suspending her dread for what awaited her.
But if the dragon wished to instill more fear into her by keeping her in the dark, his actions only produced the opposite. She had endured his worst. There was nothing he could do to her that she would be unprepared for, she having gone through such before. She was foolish to think dragons to be unique creatures from humans, that their power and legends made them untouchable from the basis of all living creatures. In her eyes now, Raelynne saw no difference between her beast and the man who gave her her first scar. Their breaking did manage to make her stronger now, in a way, as she was numb. Now she was dead to fear, which no doubt would deny the dragon his pleasure, but she was also dead to hope, knowing now that it was an impossible dream to escape this place by merely running as she always had. Raelynne had reverted back to her old ways, back before she discovered the freedom her music and a false, smiling mask could offer her. Now she did not even have those any more…
The harsh, blinding light of a torch stung at Raelynne's eyes as the door to her holding was suddenly opened. Covering her face to shield her sight, she heard the only other, for lack of a better word, human enter her small abode.
"Get up. The master wants you now." Alfrid commanded. She heeded it without resistance, though her bones certainly protested to the movement. Her eyes adapted to the light, and she noticed something different about the sniveling servant. His face was spotted in bruises. It seems the dragon had not just let his temper die with her punishment.
"I hope our generous master has not been unkind to you Alfrid for my mistake?" Her tone was flat and hinted at no hidden meanings, but even Alfrid was not thick enough to be unable catch her snide at him. He sneered as the two of them started to walk down the hallway.
"Watch your tongue, whelp."
"And you watch your back, rat." Raelynne bit out before she could stop herself.
Alfrid turned to face her, halting in his march to the horde he was no doubt leading her to. The sudden closeness of the man found Raelynne backing away instantly, only to have her retreating heel collide with the stone wall behind it. The torch in his hand cast ugly shadows on Alfrid, showcasing his hatred of her.
"Smaug will grow tired with you soon. That escapade of yours only quickened the process," He hissed, bringing a hand up to grab Raelynne's chin, forcing her to look at his repugnant face. "And when he no longer wishes for your entertainment, I may just request the honor of disposing of you in a way I see fit."
He let her go after a moment of glaring at her averted eyes to grab her arm to lead her to the master. Raelynne went willingly, her small rebellion having given her no joy. She was right, the cruelty of men and dragons were no different. The only way to survive either was to be numb and hope they would find interest in something else, or dispose of you sooner.
~:o0o:~
In long, slow, angered lashes, the dragon's tail twitched in impatience. Coins sparked in the direction of their castaway, chiming lightly with their fall. Smaug was waiting for Alfrid to return after having finally ordered him to bring the songbird to him after a week of keeping her in solitude, and the wait was driving ire to well up within him. But his anger was not directed at the disobedient songbird. No, it was towards himself for being unwilling to kill her when he wished it. He knew that it would be a waste, as she had proved to be useful in his search for sleep, but it was a disposal his pride continued to demand even now for her slight of him.
Unwilling to kill her, that was a farce, it was more that he was unable to kill her, a fact that had driven Smaug into constant aggravation in his reflection of it. He had given himself the time to reflect as to why, though he already knew. In his finding her, cowering and shivering like a discovered thief, he was of one intent, to punish her as it was fitting. That she had been so ungrateful of his treatment of her still riled him. He was so willing to forgive her humanness in place of her beauty to be a part of his horde, and yet she denounced him in favor of escape. That she did not fear him enough to trade her freedom for his benevolence was foolishly unforgiveable, and he was all too willing to act on his unforgiving nature for betrayal. And yet, in the moment of enactment, he could not go through with it. For Smaug, once he had decided on something, he would go through with it, almost to the point where such was instinctual and no second thoughts were ever afforded. Except now, for her. It was not mercy that had stopped him, of that Smaug had no doubt. No, it was a weakness he was all too familiar with.
Curiosity.
In the depth of his anger, something reached out to him and turned his desire to betray his pride. His little songbird, frightened and ready for what he was about to cruelly give, had reached out to him silently, pleading with a secret that he doubted she was aware of within her. This discovery instantly sent him back to his memories and his faint recollections of such encounters that hinted at what she had unknowingly shown to him. He was loathe to find that his songbird could placate him so easily with something he was not even sure of as she could with her voice and music, worming into his thoughts so that even with her locked he had no reprieve of her to regain his resolve to kill her. No, it was not her, she had no inkling. If she had, she certainly would have used such to aid her escape further instead of having it enact itself within her moments before her expiry, like a last instinct. Again, it was his curiosity. Knowledge was coveted by dragons, and their immortal lives gave them the means to satisfy such that there were not many mysteries left for them even before they started to be wiped away. The unknown was a joy for the ignorant and mortal. To see something unfamiliar spark within his songbird then was more than enough to entice his keenness and spare her, momentarily. If it was what he thought, if what he had seen dance alight in her eyes was no falsity, then it was not entirely unfamiliar, but a part of an older world, one in which his kind and other magnificent creatures were in abundance. Such he had not seen in so long, since before he left the den of his fellow beasts to carve out his own way, but if it was true, there was a chance for something very interesting to occur to say the least.
Perhaps his eyes had deceived him. He had been so desperate for so long for one last remnant of the old world to find him, one last wonder that could shine like his now gone ancestry, that he supposed on the only creature to have interested him of late this naive hope. But then again, for a last chance at finding the fantastic in this world of mortals and dead legends, he could give it the chance. Besides, in that moment he could not kill her, and every time he brought his resolve forth to do so his curiosity would not waver for his pride. This mystery of her, it was just like a new shining bauble to him, and even the most homely of such were a guarded and beloved part of his horde. For this it was no different, only, unlike his jewels, he did not know all there was to this particular trinket, to his songbird. He knew she was special, her eyes told as much. But Smaug never entertained the thought that his little songbird might just be more than what she appeared, more than just human…
The matter had been decided even before Smaug could even reason with his rushing curiosity. The girl would live for now, on the chance that she might prove to be even more of value than any piece he had collected before. But, if she failed to be such, or dared to disobey him once more in even the slightest of ways, then he would most assuredly be rid of her, his own curiosity and need for sleep be damned.
"I have brought the girl, master." Alfrid announced as he finally returned with the young woman. Smaug said nothing as he glanced towards the human and the songbird, studying the later. The dress she had been given no longer was white, but had worn itself to a stained grey, hanging loosely off of her in tears. The copper sweetness of her scent had been replaced by dirt and dust, and her skin was a bruised pearl, and to see her in such a state almost troubled him. Smaug never did like to have his possessions tarnished, even when it was his anger that had done so in the first place. But such thoughts were dismissed when Alfrid retreated, leaving the songbird and the dragon alone. After a moment of silence, she found her bravery to speak.
"You summoned me, master?"
"Yes, songbird." He told her simply from his recline, his head resting on a hill of gold in an appearance of relaxation, those his eyes eddied in agitation and interest. The songbird pressed on.
"For what purpose?"
Smaug felt his lips curl into a smirk. She feared for herself. She came to him in expectation of her concluding punishment. He could play such a game with her and her fear, and she would be deserving of uncertainty. But he was in no mood for games, only to have his curiosity satisfied as quickly as possible, that way he could choose to be rid of her or not.
"For the purpose of which you had been brought here. To entertain. I have need of your music again." He answered her, and though she seemed surprised by this, she did not look up to meet his eyes.
"That is all?"
"Did you expect something else? Perhaps you wish to dance for me instead?" He sneered in amusement. She bowed her head, russet locks shielding whatever expression she wore.
"Only if that is what you wish, master."
The dragon scoffed. Had he broken her so completely? It had entertained him before how spirited she was, her daring to look at him and smirk. It was his point to diminish her and her pride, but if she was what he presumed, and this was all it took to make her compliant, then perhaps there was no greatness in her after all.
"You've surpassed yourself in pitifulness since last I saw you."
At this the songbird surprisingly nodded her head in agreement. Finally she looked up at him, her once vividly colorful eyes dim. There was something undesirable in her expression, in that it showed Smaug nothing, as if she was unfeeling to even fear anymore. It was not bravery by any means, but such lowness in spirit that she did not seem capable of sensation anymore. She was meek, and nothing else, like a dog that had learned to only expect cruelty from its master and would not even whine to him. A cold mask for the damaged, this was undesired to say the least.
"Perhaps master. But I have learned my lesson, rest assured." She replied, tone unwavering but lifeless.
"Then do not delay in your obedience, and sing."
"Of course, master."
She was broken indeed. He thought to spend some time in her presence to judge what was to be done next, what steps needed to be taken in order to discover what he thought lay within her, but she gave him nothing. Even her voice lent him little. It was still beautiful, but it held the same charm with which she had first sung for him, her lyrics empty of true allure. He wanted her to learn her place, certainly, but even in this he could take no joy out of her willingness to submit. It was lower than Alfrid's sniveling, and far less entertaining. And because of this, he, even in all his ways, could not read what needed to be discovered for his conclusion, until at last he came to a different one from what he searched for. With her broken, he could do nothing. His inquiry required her obedient but spirited. It was her spirit that had first revealed the secret, and it would need to be repeated. If he could not have that, then he would have her fear again, as he deserved such being his magnificence and in order to find her secrets. One way or another, through fear or spirit, he needed to mend a little of what he had broken in her. As to how, that was a puzzle that kept him for a while. She had been allowed to eat before Alfrid brought her to him, but Smaug knew that would not be enough, more effort was needed. It was not in his nature to be kind, and he would not submit himself to even the fabrication of such weakness. But after a while, inspiration came to him in a way that would be beneficial to both her mending and his search.
"Enough of this." He finally announced. The songbird immediately halted in her song, though showed no concern for his reason in stopping her. Rising, he came towards her.
"Come songbird, perhaps a new view will change your miserable tune."
Opening his clawed hand, he grabbed the obediently still songbird with a unique gentleness, and made to leave the horde.
~:o0o:~
Raelynne did not know what to expect from the dragon when he made to grab her. Part of her expected to be killed, but then again she was not surprised at his picking her up. The last time he carried her so, so hardly paid attention to anything except what was going to happen next. Now she only wondered if the dragon's palm had always been so soft and she merely failed to notice last time. He cradled her in one scaled hand, and walked as gracefully as ever with the other three. It was as if she was no consequence to his bearing to carry. She briefly wondered where he was taking her to, but she had no way of knowing. His demeanor had changed just as hers had, he seemingly less amused with her and more curt with his orders. Besides, it did not matter. Wherever he was taking her, it doubtless would be for his entertainment and her misery.
A momentary frown chided her for her self-wallowing, and Raelynne actually grew sick of her thoughts. Even the dragon had called her pitiful, and he should know all too well as he was the reason for her state. She knew how submissive she sounded, how she looked it, her dress torn and hair matted from lack of attention during her week of solitude. Such comments she was used to however, having heard them many times before from others and even from herself. She would make no exerting efforts to please. It would do nothing for her now anyway; the dragon would not fall for her trick to disarm him a second time. What she was not used to however, was being suspended twenty feet off of the ground, being carted around like his little doll. Perhaps she was that to him, but as for her, the rapidness of his steps and the gusts his vast movements caused where quite unsettling and strange to her. After many turns and twisting caverns, the dragon stopped suddenly.
Before them was a great, metal sewn set of doors. So high in stature they were that they reached above the dragon's head at full height. Intricate designs of strange, foreign symbols trickled from the gothic peak of the door to its lowest hinges. Without much effort, Smaug opened the impressive doors with a push of his snout, a feat that would have no doubt required twenty men to do. Its opening was narrow, and though it matched his height, Raelynne was curious as to how the dragon thought he could get himself inside.
Raelynne's thoughts however, were taken a hold of what lay before them both. Now opened, the door revealed a room that caused her to lean forward in interest. From the small sample of rooms she had seen in Erebor besides the vault, this room championed above them. It was immense in size, the end of the long room hidden from Raelynne's sight, its edges untouchable and hidden. And from wall to unseen wall, the room was filled and lost in balconies and towering wooden cases of books with ladders twisting down from their heights. Open, multiple floors and rows of shelves climbed up the walls, each of them entwined with one another by delicate spiral staircases, broken chandeliers braiding themselves down from the cracked ceiling like glassy nets. The crevices in the ceiling allowed small amounts of light to filter inside along the thin ropes of ivory of the corona like lanterns, though most of the room remained in a strange, comfortable darkness. On the ground floor, tables and couches aligned themselves down the length of a fraying rug that disappeared to the unseen other side of the cavernous room. Dust collected everywhere as far as Raelynne could see, floating so thickly in the air that even though she and the dragon had yet to enter, she already had difficulty breathing.
Without a word, the dragon lowered her to the ground. She was able to step off of his scaled palm and onto the marbled floor with ease. Expectantly, she looked up at him.
"Go inside." He told her. She obeyed willingly, and turned to enter the room. Once she was inside, the dragon settled himself within the archway of the parted doors, his forelimbs entering the room followed by his long neck that gracefully arched in repose. Raelynne did not know what was to happen next, but she could not help but make her way to one of the tables nearby. It, like every other surface in the room, was laden down with books, cobwebs woven loosely over them like lace. Picking one up, she inspected it. The book was old and heavy, the leather feeling soft and delicate as she ran her fingers over the faded blue bindings. She traced the gold lettering on its spine before opening the cover, paper rustling as she thumbed through the book. Words appeared and disappeared as her eyes flittered across the pages in a happy daze. Setting the book down, she spotted another, this one with a beautiful gilded cover, though the edges of the pages had turned sadly brown with age. As she picked it up to inspect it further, the dragon spoke to her.
"Dwarves are not known for their knowledge of words or literature as they are for their metal works. This library was only built by the command of one of their more eccentric kings, and even then it was hardly used."
Silence followed after the dragon's comment, Raelynne thinking about what he had told her. So far she had not said anything more than what was needed in reply to the dragon; she used to think she could slay him through his pride with her flattering words, but that mattered little now. Still, she could not stop her next comment.
"It's…lovely."
"It is as well. We will be spending much time here." The dragon replied, and as she expected her honest praise had no effect on the dragon, at least none she could detect. Her wonderment was paused however as curiosity prompted her to speak again.
"Whatever for?"
"There is something I need to find in the pages here. I need your hands and eyes to find it for me."
She glanced down at the book she was still holding in her hands. He wanted her to find something for him? Here, in a library? She was thoroughly surprised by this. For one thing, he could have had Alfrid do this for him. For another, what use would a dragon have for a library? The dragon must have seen her look of confusion, and he let out what seemed like a sigh of disappointment.
"Do not tell me you are illiterate." The dragon said with deride.
"Though it has been a while, I can read master." Raelynne replied, insulted by his presumption. She had been born into a higher station than others, and because of that she did have the opportunity to take advantage of an education. A proper one, not just sewing or singing lessons to turn her into a lady of high station. Because of that, she held love books in her younger years, though only in the company of others. She never liked to read by herself, preferring to read to others or have someone else read to her. Usually that person was her sister, but there were occasions when their mother would read to the both of them.
"What is it you are searching for exactly?" She asked suddenly as she shook the thought away. She did not need the false comfort of memories, of that kind of pathetic fortification she would never need. Looking towards the dragon, she found his gaze could not be met, as he had turned his head gesture to a nearby self.
"We will start with this first section here. It is mostly exaggerated, overly romantic legends and mythologies, but they could prove useful." He said, ignoring her previous question. He continued speaking then, almost to himself. "Mortals do sometimes have their uses. Writing, music…"
"I did not know dragons could read. Or enjoyed to." Raelynne found herself commenting, and almost immediately regretting doing so as the dragon turned his fearsome head sharply to face her.
"Oh? Then you know very little, my songbird. Did you think dragons to be mindless, snarling beasts?" With the current, unreadable mood of the dragon, Raelynne could not tell if the hiss he spoke with hinted at anger or amusement. She averted her gaze, thinking what she could say in reply. She decided the truth would be the best.
"I don't know what to think any more."
She did not know what to think, or even what to feel. She didn't know if she could, having gone back to her old, meek ways. It had taken her years on her own to put up her pretense of happiness when she was traveling, and this dragon had managed to make her efforts meaningless. Her detachment now was her ignorant bliss. If she could keep herself still, frozen, perhaps her imprisonment would pass by less agonizingly to its inevitable conclusion. It was a dismissal hope, but now it was all she had. It was pathetic the dragon called it. And he was right. It was pathetic, but…she was no longer afraid of him. Was that pathetic? She had endured his worst and she had no more fear of the dragon, he used it up, just like how she endured the worst of the people who drove her out of her home, and when she was no longer afraid of them, she had the strength to ki-
"Then do not speak of what you do not know." The dragon spoke. At Raelynne's glance, his hardened features relaxed some, and almost immediately his mood tempered, and Raelynne was surprised to hear his voice turn soft. "Pick whichever book looks the most promising. You will sit close to me…and read out loud what passages I tell you to."
She bowed her head.
"Yes master."
Hours passed while Raelynne read out loud the passages and books the dragon told her to while she sat on a tattered couch near him, and during she lost herself to the thoughts of her predicament. It was an impossible dream to escape this place. She had run only to get caught. It was impossible for her to ever know the inner workings of Erebor like the dragon did in order to escape in that way again anyways, and even if she ever managed that, it would be certain the dragon would never let her survive the climb down the mountain. That left her with only one, equally impossible option. The surest way out of this place, was through the dragon. Slay the dragon, obtain freedom. But Raelynne was no knight, nor was she a fool. She could not slay her dragon with sharpened spears or arrows. She would not be able to get away with lying to him or tricking him, he was now too mistrustful of her for that, having lost sway over his pride. But there was one other way.
It was Raelynne's logic to think that everything in life could be compared with a performance. And if the performance you gave was dazzling enough, you would win your audience. When that was done, she, like so many of her craft, could play them almost as well as any instrument. But, if she was honest, she had always been scared of her audience. Since her first performance and for every single on since, she could only stand to be the center of attention once she had lost herself to her performance, to her music and dancing, otherwise she would freeze. It's the same with the dragon. She didn't lose herself to her performance enough, and did the only other thing she could do, run, and eventually freeze when he caught her. But now that running was no longer an option, she would simply have to try preforming again, this time without her music, her dancing, and her talent for turning phrases. The dragon had made her fearless and numb, and she was going to use that. She was going to use what he had unwittingly given her to lose herself completely to give the best performance of her life, and wrap the dragon around her little finger when she'd regain his complete and utter trust. Not through lies, tricks, music, or flattery, Raelynne would make him adore her that he would be unable to suspect her of anything, as adoration is what any true performer strives for.
Unknowingly, Raelynne's hand clutched at the still hidden necklace that lay beneath her dress. To feel the pendent soothed her, and solidified her decision. Slowly, a reassured smile graced her lips, and she continued reading the passage she had before her with new vigor.
She was going to win the dragon's heart, and then she was going to stab it.
Then we'll would see who was pathetic, Smaug.
OOOOHHHHHH! DRAMA! You guys weren't expecting that now, were you? Heh, now the damsel in distress is going to rescue herself from the dragon, by killing him. Raelynne's clever and determined, and as you guys can see, her past was not exactly all sunshine and roses. And yes, it has to do with her eyes.
I love this chapter for several reasons. So far, Raelynne had only been planning on escaping, but now that it looks impossible, she will be paying attention more to Smaug now, especially since she's planning on slaying him. And Smaug too, he has come to see his songbird as something a bit more than a nameless trinket in his horde, and so the two will finally start what will become the basis of a relationship between them (sort of), having no other options before them. It will certainly lead to only more troubles for the both of them, and as for the ending, who knows…
Also, I couldn't help myself in subjecting a little Beauty and the Beast parallel to my story. Smaug is not as compassionate as the Beast and Raelynne not as kindhearted or bookish as Belle, but I love the gesture of giving someone a library to cheer someone up. I know it would make my day. Besides, I was getting bored of having Raelynne and Smaug always in the vault room. They live in a kingdom that was carved within a mountain, let's explore it!
But, just what is Raelynne exactly? Is she indeed more than human or is Smaug only wishing for her to be? Will Raelynne stay strong and find it in her to defeat him? And what does riddles and naps have to do with the next chapter? (Hint, everything). Please join me in the next chapter!
