MP: (insert reason for updating late that you could care less about).

Cee: MissPessimist doesn't own Bleach, its plot, characters, affiliates, or anything even remotely connected to the city, county, and state of Bleach. This is merely homage. Lyrics used are "Heartbeat" by The Runaways.

MP: Story starts now.

XXX

"Stop. Look. Listen. To my Heartbeat."

When earlier Izuru had left the room saying he was going to talk to Aizen-sama, Gin had only been somewhat worried. But he hadn't given the matter much thought; because there were several reasons his blonde would go and see the ruler of Hueco Mundo.

He knew Izuru had been walking the razors edge since Tesra's accident, and he knew that the other man would probably try to get the kid away from Nnoitra.

There had been no cause for worry until he had come back to their room to Izuru all but passed out on the bed. His closed eyes were red-rimmed from a session of crying, and his limp hair hung in his face sadly.

Gin brushed back his bangs, inspecting the damage Hueco Mundo had inflicted on his little blonde.

His closed eyes seemed deeper, larger somehow than they had been before. Underneath them, dark circles acted as the rings on a tree stump; telling age and how many sleepless nights had been spent. The skin that was once a fair and beautiful paleness was now paper white and sallow, showing glimpses of purple veins hiding beneath, like mirages.

And his frame seemed to have grown thinner, tightening skin eerily over the incredibly large eight month old bump, which only seemed to swell as Izuru shrank.

Gin's long fingers brushed against the skin of Izuru's forehead.

It was so cold…

He seemed sick. The breaths escaping him were erratic, even when awake, and his reiatsu was very, very weak.

What could be done? Was it the pregnancy doing this? If so, then maybe he could ask Szayel to check in the next time they went in. But what if the problem was Hueco Mundo itself?

Taking Izuru here had seemed like such a good idea at the time, he was given what he needed, he was protected, and yet he was wasting away. At this rate, Gin was convinced that if Izuru even attempted to have the baby he would…

Pregnant people should not look like this. They should look tired, yes, but happy at least. They were not supposed to look like the life was being sucked out of them with a bendy straw.

Izuru restlessly turned his head in his sleep, moving towards Gin's still fingers, brushing his icy skin against the silver-haired man's already cold fingers.

His Izuru was sick; sicker than Gin had ever seen him before. Every breath he took looked like he was inhaling broken glass, when he walked it looked like he was stepping in a wasps nest.

Gin sighed. There had to be something he could do to help him; something that would make whatever was happening to him go away. And if Hueco Mundo really was the problem, then there was really only one thing he could do. But going back at this point would be a death wish for the both of them, it wasn't even an option anymore.

What could he do?

But…

Maybe the question wasn't what he could do, but what someone else could do.

They had been on alert for months; if the storm finally came to them it may be an opportunity for Izuru to get back to the Sereitei. And if Izuru got back there, he could be taken care of, he would be around his friends, and he would get better.

And it wouldn't be like before; he wasn't abandoning his blonde again. He thought that he could handle it, and he had been grossly unprepared. No, he wasn't doing that again, there had to be a way for them to be together, a way that works for everyone.

However, if he did this then that would mean turning his back on Aizen-taicho; on all the plans he had spent lifetimes making. Leaving all his plans and schemes for Aizen unfinished was certainly not what he wanted to do…

Izuru groaned softly, shifting around and moving his hand to grab at his stomach.

Slowly, Gin's hand moved down from Izuru's cheek, tracing down a long and equally chilled neck to rest on top of the bump. Beneath his hand, a sporadic beat pulsed along, not strong enough to be kicks, must be hiccups.

His child. This was his child growing inside of Izuru.

He was going to be a father.

Gin let his hand drop with a heavy sigh. This bump was going to be a baby, a living and breathing baby, very soon; and it would need love, a real father. A father that was going to be able to protect it and be there for it; play, wipe tears away, chase away monsters. He needed to be there for his child.

And Aizen couldn't come before this; he could no longer be the sole priority for Gin. Now the baby came first, and he would make it work, even if he had to leave to prove it.

He needed to show Izuru that he could do it, that he could be content to just be together; just the three of them. There was no need to ask if he had failed the "good boyfriend" test already: he had left his lover for months. Now he had to prove that he would never let that happen again.

It was a miracle that Izuru still loved him, still wanted to be with him, have his child. In the months he had left, Izuru had had ample opportunity to get rid of the baby, but he didn't; even though he probably wanted to. Gin had to show him it wasn't a mistake; that he was going to pull his weight in this.

He had hurt Izuru before, probably more than he'll ever know; but he wasn't going to do it again.

There are hundreds he didn't mind hurting, but not Izuru; not anymore.

Maybe Tousen was right, maybe it was time to grow up.

XXX

Truthfully, it hadn't been as hard as he thought it would be.

Izuru had stood in the Throne Room and lied to Aizen's face for an hour and a half.

Everything he could have possibly given away, he handed over on a silver platter. At a certain point he became unaware of what was coming out of his mouth, not unlike when he first arrived and he swore the pledge to Aizen.

Afterward he had been content to fall into a comatose like sleep, which had eluded him since Tesra's accident. He had slept through dinner, through the night, and into what he could only guess was afternoon.

Yet, even as his eyes cracked open he felt the burning need for sleep. He ached to be dead to the world again, to forget where he was and who he was just for a few hours.

As his eyes opened, a blurry vision of a figure beside his bed came through. Izuru fought not to groan as he attempted to keep his eyes open to see who his visitor was.

The hazy form of Luppi was slowly becoming defined against the white heat gathering to form a headache between his temples. The other man had his knees pulled up close to his chest, hands laced together to keep them in place. The brunette had his face pressed to his knees, letting only his heavy-lidded lilac eyes peer out, staring blankly towards the floor.

"Luppi?" Izuru asked, though it was more of a croak from his dry throat.

Luppi's eyes snapped to him, and he released his ankles with a tangle of limbs as he moved to face Izuru. "Kira, you sound like you French-kissed a bullfrog."

Clearing his throat, Izuru attempted to sit up a bit straighter, but finding his arms devoid of the means to do the simple task. "That happens. I'm sorry I was asleep, have you been here long?"

"Since this morning" Luppi nodded. The bruise on his cheek had now almost entirely faded, leaving only an outline that you would only see if you really looked. "It's better than sitting alone in my room."

Izuru gave a small sigh. "He's not back yet?"

"What do you think?" Luppi snapped, shaking his head. "He hasn't spoken to me- hell, he hasn't seen me on over a week."

"I went to see Aizen yesterday" Izuru broke in.

Luppi sighed. "What did he have to say for himself?"

"I told him everything I knew, and I asked him to release Tesra from being Nnoitra's fraccion."

Luppi swallowed the near permanent lump in his throat. "And what did he say?"

"He said he'd think about it" Izuru said, feeling the baby squirm, looking down to see the cloth covering his stomach rippling to follow the movements of tiny limbs.

The brunette scoffed. "Yeah, sure he will. At this rate I doubt even Aizen is going to get him away from Nnoitra."

Izuru thought. "Maybe I should go talk to him."

"I don't think there's much you can do" Luppi said. "I tried and it made me the enemy, if you become the enemy too, then we've lost him."

"It's worth a try" Izuru reasoned tiredly. "When Aizen calls for them, I'll talk to Tesra."

Luppi sighed heavily. "You do what you want, I guess."

Izuru nodded. "Don't have to tell me twice" he said, closing his burning eyes once again.

He heard Luppi swallow again and thought perhaps the other man had a sore throat.

"You don't look good, Kira" Luppi said, softly. "Really, you don't."

Frowning and cracking his eyes open once again, Izuru licked at his dry lips. "Yeah, I'm aware."

"I know I've told you that before, but I really mean it now. It's really starting to scare me now, how terrible you look" Luppi said, focusing his eyes on Izuru's swollen stomach.

"I know that" Izuru said, finding he couldn't find anything else to say.

There was a steady silence that passed between them for a moment as the room was filled with the sound of their breathing, just off beat from one another.

"Can you try to just…" Luppi fell off, his voice getting softer. "It's just that you and Tesra are the only friends I have and…"

"Luppi stop."

The other man brushed quickly at his glassy eyes. "I'm just saying, get better so I don't…you know, have to be alone."

Izuru pressed a hand to his forehead quickly, feeling its coldness. "I can't promise I'll be fine, but I'll try."

Luppi nodded. "Thank you."

More silence.

"Luppi?"

"Yes?"

"Would you do something for me?"

The other man gave a small smile. "I would need to know the question first."

Izuru attempted clearing his throat again. "I don't want you to get excited-"

"I'm going to get excited no matter what you say, you should know that by now."

Izuru rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know. Just don't get too excited, alright?"

Luppi scooted off the chair to sit opposite Izuru on the bed. "I'm getting really excited now, tell me."

Putting both hands on his churning stomach, Izuru tilted his head back to rest on the wall. "I lied to him, Luppi."

The brunette frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Everything that I told him was a lie" Izuru said, looking anywhere to avoid Luppi's eyes.

Currently, the gaze he was avoiding was blinking confusedly. "But…" Luppi sounded as though he was attempting to work this out in his head. "Why would you do that?"

"I couldn't sell out my home so easily" Izuru said, letting his eyes look over to Luppi's. "And now I need to ask you something."

"Oh, I bet you do" Luppi gasped, nodding. "Do you realize what he could do to you if he ever finds out what you did?" he hissed.

"But that's just it" Izuru said, leaning forward against his stomach. "I can't stay here long enough to figure out what he'll do."

Luppi gaped. "You-"

"I need to get out of here, Luppi. I can't stay here anymore, not with the baby" Izuru said quietly.

"Okay, Kira" Luppi said, giving a slow nod. "Okay, maybe you just…need to lie down and get yourself together-"

"Luppi, I am lying down."

"I, uh…" Luppi took a deep breath. "I see that. But you're also very pregnant right now, so maybe the hormone shiznick is screwing with your head, yeah?"

Izuru shook his head back. "I've been thinking about it, and I can't think of anything else I can do."

Luppi shook his head back at the blonde. "No, no you can't leave. You just need to…to rest and get better and I can take you to Szayel later and-"

"I don't trust Szayel."

"Why not?" Luppi questioned. "He's smart, he knows what he's talking about."

Izuru looked down at his belly. "He certainly does, and that's what scares me."

"What do you mean?"

"He told me to start feeding the baby my reiatsu and it's only made things worse. I don't doubt that he knows what he's doing, but that only tells me he's…"

Luppi let a small gasp of a laugh escape. "Kira, you don't actually think Szayel is trying to kill you."

"Look at me, Luppi! What else could possibly be happening?" Izuru cried, opening the top of his robe to reveal grayish skin stretching tight across the protruding bones of his chest. "Whether it's Szayel or the baby, it's killing me."

The brunette looked at the exposed skin silently, letting teeth sneak out to worry the skin of his lip. Sighing, he reached out a hand and placed it on top of the bump. "Kira…"

"I have to get out of here" Izuru said, pulling his robe closed. "I have to go somewhere I know I can be safe in."

"You are safe here, I know you are" Luppi protested, his fingers butterflying across the stomach.

"But…" Izuru trailed off, sniffing slightly and placing his own hand over Luppi's. "If I…don't make it through this-"

"Don't say that."

"Be quiet, just listen" Izuru said, effectively silencing the arrancar across from him. "If I don't make it, I want the baby to be born in a place where it can be safe and happy. Being born here would only make the baby Aizen's, to do with what he wants."

"But it would have you, and Ichimaru-sama, and me!" Luppi interrupted. "You don't have to leave, really."

"I want this baby to be free to make its own choices, it would never be able to do that here" Izuru said, rubbing the back of Luppi's hand with his thumb. "The only thing I can think to do at this point is try to get back where I know it can be safe."

Luppi's lip quivered just slightly, but he seemed determined to keep his eyes dry. "I guess I'm not going to be able to stop you, right?"

Izuru shook his head. "No."

Breathing out a shaky breath, Luppi nodded. "Yeah...fine."

Under their hands a few bubbles erupted; shifting and turning the skin of Izuru's stomach.

"What about Ichimaru-sama?" Luppi asked, sounding entirely drained. "If you left he would go with you, right?"

Wetness welled up in the corners of Izuru's eyes, but was brushed away quickly. "I could never ask him to leave."

"Oh, get off it."

Izuru looked up at Luppi in surprise. "What?"

"I'm telling you to get off it" Luppi said sternly, furrowing his brow. "The hell you can't ask him to go with you, of course you can. He brought you here, he can be the one to take you back."

"It's...no, it is not that simple" Izuru protested, giving his head a shake. "This is his home now, I can't just ask him to leave it. He belongs here now, even if he wanted to come back."

"So it's okay for you to uproot your life and come here but it's different for him? Holy hell, Kira" Luppi said, exasperated. "You have got to get over this subordinate complex you've built up for yourself."

"I do not have a-"Izuru began.

"Bullshit, yes you do!" Luppi cut him off. "I shouldn't be telling you this, you know. "You're over eight and a half months pregnant, you should realize by now that it isn't always about him."

Izuru's frown deepened. "I already know that, Luppi."

The brunette let out a little scoffing laugh. "You treat him like he's still your captain and you're still his lieutenant. Well, news flash!" Izuru said, clapping his hands. "You aren't."

"W-Well...I don't-" Izuru fumbled for words, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"You are equal to him now, you're not below him anymore" Luppi explained, as though speaking to a child. "And if you want to leave, you have every right to take him with you."

"How can I bring him back to a place where he'll find nothing but trouble?" Izuru asked, eyes blazing with determinedly un-shed tears. "I think I might be alright if I went back, at least for a while. But if he went back, I don't know what could happen; I don't want to know."

"You have to try at least" Luppi insisted, moving closer. "Have you ever even thought that if you asked he would say yes?"

Izuru let his head hang a bit lower, allowing his bangs to obscure his face.

Luppi sighed. "Is it that hard to believe that he wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with him?"

A few tears broke forth from the blondes eyes, trailing gracefully down his pale face.

"Maybe he wants the baby just as much as you do, Kira. All you need to do is talk to him."

Izuru reached up, brushing away the faint moisture on his cheeks, keeping his head low. "But I'm afraid to..." he admitted in a small voice, blushing in embarrassment.

A small smile inched onto Luppi's face, and he reached out to take Izuru's hand. "Don't be. He'll understand, he's got to."

Raising his head, Izuru gave Luppi a teary smile. "Thank you. For everything."

Luppi smiled back, then leaned in, curving himself around the bump to hug the blonde. "Not a problem, babe."

A tint laugh bubble out of Izuru's mouth as he returned the embrace. "You've been...you're wonderful, really you are."

"Yeah, I know" Luppi snickered in the blondes hair. "You're going to miss me when you're surrounded by those tacky shinigami again."

Izuru gave a sighing laugh and pulled away slightly to look at the arrrancars tired face. "You could come with me, you know."

Luppi laughed sadly, giving a roll of his eyes. "And leave all this? Not in a million" he said sarcastically. He looked down at the bump, "When will you leave?"

"I'd like to, as soon as I can."

The brunette sniffed a bit. "I guess I'm not going to get to meet you then" he said to the bump. "I was looking forward to it."

Izuru took in a deep breath, hoping to calm his myriad of emotions. "Luppi-"

"No, no" Luppi said, waving a hand as he stood. "I stay here any longer and I'm going to be a complete wreck, I should go" he sighed and gave Izuru a half-hearted smile. "Don't tire yourself out."

As he turned and began to walk to the door, Izuru called out; "I'm going to go and talk to Tesra, I don't want you to worry about that, alright?"

Luppi paused in the doorway, looking back at him with teary eyes. "Me worry? Get real, Kira."

The door shut abruptly, cutting off Izuru's view of the others face, nearly severing the last word. He looked at the door for another few moments, trying to decipher the strange feeling blooming in his chest. Swallowing the dryness in his throat, Izuru reached over to the small table beside the bed, grasping the edge of a tan book and bringing it to rest on the bump.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the book and started reading. "Desesperar..."

XXX

The tea pot and the two cups that were balanced on the tray in the brunette arrancars hands shook slightly in trepidation as he approached the two men that were seated at the large meeting table.

As he drew closer, Szayel smirked in a disgustingly satisfied manner, seeming to be only just restraining himself from making some kind of snarky comment. The only thing holding him back was most likely the brown-haired man sitting straight backed beside him.

The arrancar stopped before the table, carefully lifting the tea pot off the tray and depositing it on the table. Setting one tea cup on the table, the arrancars single forest green eye flicked over to glimpse at the imposing figure of Lord Aizen.

Aizen's face was on the verge of expressionless, only saved by a cold smile hanging from his lips in an almost robotic manner. Beside him, the pink-haired man was eying him like a new and particularly interesting species of bug. A bug he looked like he wanted nothing more than to dissect.

Quickly setting the other cup down, the arrancar hastily backed away, bringing the tray up to his chest, a very mediocre protection. He stood awkwardly, Szayel still peering at him with both parts carnal and calculating interest. Fighting not to fidget, Aizen at last nodded.

"You may go."

Attempting not to breath a sigh of relief, he quickly bowed to Aizen and all but ran out the door.

Szayel let out a small snicker, making only a small attempt to hide his smug smirk from Aizen.

For his part, Aizen simply raised an eyebrow at his Octavo's manners. "It's almost as if you forget I'm here, Szayel."

"Of course not, Aizen-sama! How could I?" the pink-haired arrancar protested with a smile. "I simply think it's fun to think about how high certain arrancars can scream."

"I'm pleased you took time out of that sort of research to come and have a talk."

"Anything for you, my lord" Szayel leaned back in his chair, sighing with a smile. "What was it you wanted to speak with me about?"

"I believe we should have our tea as we talk so it won't get cold" Aizen said, reaching out to take the tea pot.

"Oh no, let me" Szayel said, his own hand reaching out to land on top of Aizen's, stilling any movement.

Aizen's eyes suddenly snapped to Szayel's own. A set of honey-amber peered back at him, unhindered by glasses, seeming to offer no fear or uncertainty about this act. He couldn't ever recall one of his subordinates touching him like this before; not the Espada, not Momo, Gin hadn't since he was a child. He had given them pats and helped them train, but never before had one been so bold as to presume they could reach out and touch him.

Yet here was his bespectacled Octavo reaching out and touching him, looking like he dared Aizen to react.

"I insist" Szayel said, tilting his head slightly and delivering one of his sickening saccharine smiles that everyone in Hueco Mundo knew held no sweetness whatsoever. "Please, Aizen-sama? You shouldn't be pouring tea for me."

Aizen held Szayel's gaze for another few moments, attempting to define the challenge he saw there. This was not a challenge of strength he saw, nor of wits, this was a challenge of a much different kind.

A small smirk grew on his lips, and he purposefully retracted his hand. "Suit yourself, Szayelaparro."

The pink-haired man raised an eyebrow in interest, not expecting to win so easily. "As you wish, Aizen-sama" he said, lifting the pot delicately with his fingers and carefully leaning to pour the still hot tea into Aizen's cup.

Aizen lifted the cup to his lips, blowing on it slightly, nearly un-noticeably. He watched as Szayel poured himself a relatively small amount of the tea, watching as steam softly billowed from the small cup. Taking a small sip, Aizen attempted not to let a deviously minuscule smirk seep onto his face as Szayel lifted the cup to his pale lips, and Aizen uttered a knowing; "Don't burn your tongue."

The cup paused at the scientists mouth, his eyes getting just slightly larger as he looked over to Aizen Aizen in pleased surprise that morphed into coy knowings. "Of course not, my lord" he took a small sip of the steaming liquid. "Now," he set the cup back onto the table with a small noise of wood on wood contact. "What exactly is it you wished to speak to me about?"

Setting his own cup down, Aizen realigned himself with why he called his Octavo here in the first place. "I've merely called you here to be briefed on the status of Kira-kun's pregnancy."

Szayel smiled. "Ah yes, I seem to remember your interest. Well," he sighed. "He's huge."

"Indeed he is" Aizen nodded. "But I should hope that isn't as far as your research has gotten."

"He's about 34 weeks along now, he isn't due for another few weeks, and technically everything is fine."

"Technically?"

Szayel nodded. "The fetus is developing properly, at the right pace, and there is now a set birth plan, so there shouldn't really be any problems."

"So what is the problem?" Aizen questioned, raising his cup to his lips again.

The Octavo smiled. "Well, I doubt you'll see it as an issue, sir. But from a general perspective it is something to worry about."

"I think I know..." Aizen said, smiling coldly.

"Since your last order to me, the one regarding Kira-kun's nourishment of the fetus with the reiatsu, there has been a significant decline in his personal help."

"Have you informed him of this?"

"Of course not, but I'm fairly confident he already knows."

Aizen frowned. "He suspects?"

"Oh, no doubt of it" Szayel smiled assuredly. "But he is in no position to do anything about it now. He can barely walk, he's in no state to be making those kinds of accusations."

Aizen took another drink of his tea. "So everything is going smoothly then?"

"Very much so, Aizen-sama. At this rate, even if he does by some miracle survive the birth, he won't survive much longer than a week afterward. Right now the only thing sustaining him is in fact the energy he's supplied to the fetus, which is still connected to him. But since they're connected, he can't tell how empty it truly is; once the child is born he'll have essentially nothing left."

"And you're certain this is going to take care of him?" Aizen asked.

"I'm doing everything in my power to make it so. It's highly unlikely in any case that a man could survive birth. And as I said, even if he does survive, he won't for too long as he'll also be more susceptible to illness."

Sighing, Aizen leaned back in his chair with a small smile. "Well, it seems you've thought of everything."

"Well, I have been working on those plans for months. Perhaps a little earlier than I should have" Szayel admitted, sipping his tea.

"How early would that be?" Aizen asked, amusement lacing around his words.

Szayel let out a small laugh. "I had a feeling from the very beginning you had no intention of Kira-kun surviving this pregnancy. So, of course I wanted to make sure the plans were executed and thought out properly."

Aizen 'hm'-ed with a little smile. "It is so good to have smart people around."

"Isn't it? There are so few around here" Szayel sighed dramatically. "Present company exempt."

"But yes, I'm afraid you've hit the nail on the head" Aizen said. "However, it really is fortunate for me that his offspring is doing the job for me."

"You got what you wanted from him, then?" Szayel asked.

"And much more. He's fulfilled his purpose, nothing more can be gained from his being here."

Szayel smiled and gave his head a shake. "You are a cold man, Aizen-sama, not that I hold it against you."

"There are several things I could call you, but I doubt I could hold them against you" Aizen said smoothly.

The pink-haired man raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Aizen gave a cool smile. "Yes, actually. I'd like you to know just how much appreciate all of the work you've put into these past few months."

The other man bit his lip slightly, his amber eyes wandering down to linger on the hand Aizen had placed on the table. "Well," he began, peering at his lord from behind flirtatious lowered lashes and glinting lenses. "Any thing for you, you know that."

"I do" Aizen nodded, a bit of the ice chipping off his smile. "And I've been thinking..."

Szayel smirked, his fingers slowly sauntering across the table to stop at Aizen's fingertips and let one gloved digit lift and begin to softly stroke the back of the hand that created him. "I love a man who thinks."

"I've been thinking that perhaps once one of the others is gone, we can come to..." Aizen looked down at his Octavo's finger slowly moving back and forth, and almost purred. "An arrangement."

Smiling largely, Szayel lifted Aizen's hand from the table and brought it up to his mouth. "I like the sound of that" he said, taking one of Aizen's dexterous fingers into his mouth.

Aizen sighed at the feeling and thought that oh yes, these past few months were well worth it indeed now that he had the key to Sereitei's undoing and Szayel's talented tongue licking at his fingers.

XXX

"I knew you would come crawling back" Tousen said, both hands moving furiously, twisting navy blue yarn repeatedly over and between the needles, sending each stitch to join a longer than life scarf pooling around his feet.

Gin took in the unusual sight before him.

It seems that in the space of a month, Tousen had gone on a crazy re-decorating spree.

The room was dark, as it always had been, and the screens still blared and filled the room with their light. But the sound had been taken out, and you could no longer simply hear what was going on..

In addition, in the area Gin would normally have stood, a chair was stationed. And as he approached, he could see a thick green book resting on the seat of the chair, a piece of yarn serving as the bookmark midway through the book.

"It's been more than a month, ya should be happy ta see me again" Gin said, moving to stand behind the chair. "Ya got two needles."

"Yes. Yes I do."

"And ya took up readin'."

"That would be Kira's."

Gin frowned in bewilderment. "My Kira?" he asked.

"He's been coming here for the past few weeks, almost every day. I can't say I'm surprised he hasn't told you" Tousen said, twisting the yarn between his needles. "He reads aloud most of the time."

"And ya don't have a problem with him comin' around?" Gin questioned, brow furrowing delicately. "Last I heard ya were ready ta chase him around and pelt rocks at him."

Tousen made a noncommittal sound. "My personal feelings are unchanged, I've only decided to tolerate his presence a bit more."

"Bit more? Ya had a "No-Tolerance Policy" policy last time I was here" Gin persisted.

"I suggest you just be happy I let him come here instead of sending him back to his room to brood. I'm being accommodating, not friendly."

"Aww" Gin cooed. "Tousen-chan loves Izuru, too!"

The darker man made a scowl-like face, even though Tousen does not scowl. "I figure my company is better for him than most of the other filth he goes around with, like that Antenor."

"Any company is good company."

"Did you want something?"

"Well, now that ya mention it..."

Tousen let out a groan. "What is it now? What more can you possibly ask of me?"

"It's something I'd kind of like ya ta keep on the down low, if ya don' mind."

Frown deepening, Tousen turned his head to face Gin's direction. "That depends on your request, Ichimaru."

Gin sighed, letting his hand rest on the back of the chair he stood behind. "When I said on the down low, I meant from... y'know, everyone."

"Hm" the other man grunted. "I can only assume you mean Aizen-sama."

"Maybe."

"The least you could do is try to be honest with me. What I gather is that you need my help with something so terrible that you can't go to Aizen-sama, and I can't help but feel that Kira is once again the cause of it all."

Gin frowned, sighing deeply in reluctance for what he was about to say, steeling himself not to back out. "I'm here ta ask for your help. Ya were right about everything, about bringing Izuru here, I shouldn't a done it, I know that now."

"How do those words taste?" Tousen asked.

"And I'm askin' ya to help me fix this" Gin continued, attempting to ignore Tousen's smug words. "Will ya please help me save him?"

"Save him?" Tousen frowned. "What is there to save him from? He's perfectly safe."

"Ya can feel it in his reiatsu, can't ya? He's sick, he needs to get back where he's safe."

"What can he get there that he can't get here?"

"Someone that understands Shinigami, whose qualified to take care a somethin' like this."

Tousen's face took on a puzzled look. "What about Szayelaparro?"

"Both ya and I know Szayel wasn't made ta handle this. He's supposed ta do whatever is necessary to kill someone in the bloodiest way possible" Gin said, fingers tapping out an anxious rhythm against the back of the chair.

"I'm sensing a lack of trust with him."

"Ya would be correct."

Tousen sighed and frowned very deeply. "Let us just hypothetically say that I agree to help you, what would you ask of me?"

"I would..." Gin thought for a moment, attempting to gather his thoughts into a manageable bunch. "I would probolly ask ya ta lower the defenses around Los Noches, so it would be easier for intruders ta get in and out, or for just him to get out."

Tousen nodded stoically. "What else?"

"I wouldn' say no to you puttin' up a concealer, so if he does have ta sneak out on his own he won't be noticed. An... maybe a concealer for anyone that enters the castle that shouldn' necessarily be here, that might be nice. Give 'em enough time to leave and such" Gin said, rocking up and down on his heels.

"You seem to be forgetting Aizen-sama in all of this" Tousen said, finishing one row and beginning another instantaneously. "What are you going to do when he finds out?"

Gin's smile wavered slightly. "He doesn't need ta know."

"But he will find out, make no mistake" Tousen said with utmost certainty. "And you will need to have a plan for when he does."

The silver-haired man breathed out heavily. "Well, ya see, I ain't planning on stickin' around much longer."

The dark man creased his brow. "You would betray the man you betrayed the Sereitei for?"

"I'm gonna do what I have to do."

"You've sworn yourself to him."

"Had my fingers crossed."

"Is nothing sacred to you?" Tousen asked, his tone quickly growing heated. "Nothing worth your allegiance?"

Gin smiled once again, smaller. "I can think of a few things right now, Aizen ain't one of 'em."

"So we must all suffer because you've decided to give your life to something that may or may not be worth it? And what happens when Aizen-sama finds out?" Tousen asked, his knitting forgotten. "He will come after you."

Gin shook his head. "We'll be long gone before he finds out it was me."

"And what about the rest of us? This could very well jump start the war, and you know we haven't fully prepared yet."

"Ya know, I hate ta tell ya this, but ya haven't really been foremost on my mind lately" Gin said. "And ya won't be, because I made a decision."

"Oh?" Tousen quirked. "And what is that?"

"I decided I'm not gonna worry about ya anymore, 'cuz all I gotta worry about now is Izuru an' the kid."

Tousen's blind eyes blinked for a few moments. "Have you been drinking? Is that what this is about?"

"Sober as a judge" Gin smirked.

"Then you must have lost touch with reality, because there really is no other excuse for your behavior."

Gin frowned. "I'm doin' what ya wanted me ta do."

"Come again?" Tousen frowned.

"Ya said I shoulda thought a Izuru first when I brought him here, so I'm thinkin' a him now. I'll take him back, I'll go with, ya won't have ta see me again, and I won't fight with ya, but I won't fight against ya, all I need is for ya to help me this once."

Tousen stood, the muscles of his face hard and straight, the fingers in his left hand tightening and loosening around the needle he held between his long, dark fingers. They did not speak for an almost insurmountable amount of time, and with the loss of sound from the screens the room seemed smaller.

"You're trying to grow up, is that it?" Tousen asked finally, tone level.

Gin shrugged and made a noncommittal noise. "I just wanna do the right thing, whether it's growin' up or not."

Tousen 'hmm'-ed, still ceasing to continue knitting. "He isn't well."

Gin frowned, giving his head a small nod. "I know."

"So you should arrange for him to leave soon."

The other man's head shot to the right, opening his eyes to stare at the other man in wonderment. "...What?"

"You shouldn't risk waiting for someone to show up and get him, you should sneak him out as soon as possible.'

Gin looked at him as though he had whipped out a tambourine and started swinging his hips. "Ya...ya really will help?"

"My participation in this act remains only between us, is that understood?"

Gin nodded. "Absolutely."

"I will arrange for you to be able to get him out discretely by next week at the latest, before the child comes. You will have a window of maybe half an hour to return before Aizen-sama notices" Tousen said, his hands beginning to move his needles once again.

"Yeah, yeah" Gin nodded again, seeming a bit dazed. "But what if someone shows up by then?"

Tousen gave a small sigh. "If something compromising the shield is detected, I'll raise the blocks and lower defenses. Does that sound sufficient to you?"

"Better than that, but what happens when Aizen-taicho finds out an' starts wonderin' why it was so easy for 'em to get in, or for us to-"

"Blame it on you" Tousen said practically. "Everything goes back to you; although how Aizen-sama will ever believe that you're smart enough to think up all that, I don't know."

"I..." Gin shook his head. "I dunno what to say."

"Then don't say anything, go and find Kira" Tousen instructed, beginning another row.

Gin turned as if to leave, but remained rooted to the spot. "Why are ya doin' this?" he asked, turning his head to look at the other man.

Impassively, Tousen's blinded eyes remained trained forward. "I don't enjoy the idea of an innocent life being born into this place, this darkness. My reasons are my own" he reached into his pocket and drew out a dark blue bag made of the same yarn he was working with. "This is for Kira" he said, holding it out.

Taking the bag in his pale hand, Gin's eyes closed once more, his smile slipping easily back onto his face. "Ya've taken a load offa my mind."

"You can leave now" Tousen said, dead-pan once again.

"Whatever ya say" Gin smiled, walking from beside Tousen, on the familiar trek to the door. Pausing before pushing through the barrier to breath a small sigh, Gin let foreign words escape his mouth. "Thank ya, Kaname."

Tousen's hand stopped moving momentarily, letting him take a short pause before letting out a quiet; "You're welcome, Gin."

Attempting to think of something else to say, something to wrap up lifetimes in a little bow, Gin failed to find anything and instead pushed through the door, letting it close behind him and leaving Tousen alone in the dark and silent room.

XXX

It was not a rare occurrence to be called into Aizen's throne room, even less rare to be called in alone so they could have one-on-one time. And of course, there was usually a fraccion waiting outside the door. Only one, never more, because Aizen was very strict about noise and wanted absolutely none to impede the conversation.

On this day, Aizen called Nnoitra and Tesra to the throne room, together at first. He had not bothered to ask Nnoitra to leave as he questioned the fraccion about what exactly had happened that night in the desert, what his relationship to Nnoitra was specifically, and whether there had ever been any abuse of power between them.

Tesra, for his part, answered very politely to every question Aizen posed to him, while the Quinto's scowl grew deeper with every passing moment.

He answered that of course Nnoitra had had nothing to do with his accident, that their relationship was strictly professional, and that there had never been any abuse of power between them.

Only after Tesra had answered every question did Aizen instruct him to wait in the hall as he questioned Nnoitra.

Tesra had not expected to find another blonde waiting for him as he walked into the hallway.

Izuru stood silently, looking every bit as sick and tired as he was, one pale, spidery hand braced against the wall, the other resting on the top of his impossibly large stomach. They stood simply looking at each other for a few moments, taking in the various changes that had been made to the others appearances.

"Kira-sama" Tesra said, clearing his throat slightly, his now single eye lowered to the ground. "What are you doing here?"

"I knew you'd be coming, I need to talk to you" Izuru said, removing his hand from his belly in favor of placing it on his stressed lower back.

The other blonde blinked and went over Izuru's words in his head. "Wait, how did you know we would-" he started, before his confused expression switched to one of realization. "You..." he started, his voice almost caught by the anger bubbling up in his belly.

Izuru didn't say anything, opting instead to let the fraccion work his anger through.

"You, I just..." Tesra was saying, running a hand exasperatedly through his short blonde locks. "I cannot believe this!"

"Tesra-"

"First Luppi, then you, what next?!" the boy cried, semi-attempting to control his volume. "Are you going to hop into bed with me? Are you going to handcuff yourselves to me? This is my life, my decision, butt out!"

"Tesra, nobody is telling you what you can and can't do."

"That is exactly what you're doing!" Tesra ranted on, bringing a leather gloved hand up to feel his head. "I've told you how I feel about him, and you're trying to ruin everything!"

Izuru's stress lined face frowned even deeper. "Tesra, I don't want to ruin everything, I want to fix it. But I want to know what happened in the desert."

The eye-patched man seemed taken aback by the request, his single eye going larger than normal. "That..." he began, clearing his throat again and straightening up. "Is none of your business."

"Did he do that to you?" Izuru asked, looking pointedly at the patch.

"I don't have to tell you."

"Why did you stop living with Luppi?" Izuru asked, keeping his tone carefully calm and controlled.

A deep sigh preceded the other blondes words. "Maybe I was tired of having to share my life with someone that doesn't want me to live it."

Izuru let out a frustrated sigh, his bangs falling into his face once again. "He does want you to live your life, he just doesn't want you to get hurt. This mess with Nnoitra...Luppi means well, he just wants to protect you-"

"By never letting me experience anything on my own?" Tesra cut in. "That is not protecting, I don't feel protected at all."

"And you do with Nnoitra?" Izuru asked coolly.

Tesra's lips pinched together, his eye clouding up. "That's different, I don't ask him to protect me, he doesn't have to. I don't want protection..."

"Then what do you want?" Izuru asked wearily.

"I..." Tesra thought, his brow furrowed deeply. "I don't know...maybe I'd like to feel happy..."

"And Nnoitra makes you happy?"

The other blonde looked to the wall behind Izuru's head for the answer to the question, but finding none there, looked down to the floor instead. "I think so...maybe I don't know, he just makes me feel..."

"He hurt you, didn't he?" Izuru asked abruptly.

The other man's eye narrowed, his mouth turning down in an almost-scowl. "Doesn't Ichimaru-sama hurt you?"

Izuru blinked in confusion. "of course he doesn't."

"Are you blind? Look at yourself!" Tesra said angrily. "He's as good as killed you, and you're still happy to be with him, we aren't that different.

"There is a big difference" Izuru countered. "If he ever did to me what Nnoitra does to you, then I wouldn't still be with him."

"But you love him, don't you?" Tesra asked, near desperation in his voice.

"If he thinks you're only there to be his punching bag, the he doesn't love you back."

"I don't want love, I want to be wanted" the boy" Tesra said, defeated. "And I don't appreciate the fact that you seem to think I'm incapable of having someone actually want me."

"I'm not saying that, I'm just..." Izuru took a deep breath, bringing up his hand to his still throbbing forehead. "Look," he took his hand away and looked at the blonde in almost resignation. "I'm not saying that nobody wants you, that's ridiculous. And I'm not trying to ruin your life, I'm just trying to help. Stay with Nnoitra if you want, but go back to Luppi, please."

The other blonde looked at him questioningly. "Why should I?"

"Because you just should. This fight isn't going to get resolved if you just avoid him" Izuru said, trying to reason with Tesra's skeptical expression. "You two have to take care of each other now. Luppi acts like he doesn't care, but he really does."

Tesra smiled slightly. "He's a mess, huh?"

"He misses you" Izuru smiled back, weakly but full. "He's no good on his own, you know that."

"Yeah, I know that" Tesra sighed, then nodded tiredly. "I'll talk to him, try to settle everything."

Izuru let out a relieved breath with a small smile. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me just yet" Tesra said, scratching at the back of his head. "Nnoitra-sama will be out soon, you should go."

Izuru frowned. "I'm not afraid of him."

"You should-"

As if on cue, the door to the throne room swept open, revealing the tall and nearly insectoid form of Nnoitra, who strode out with a deep scowl on his face. Once he caught sight of the two blondes standing in the hallway, his scowl turned to a menacing leer.

"Well, well, well" he drawled, peering down at Izuru. "You seem to have wandered a ways from the sanctuary."

Izuru made sure to hold the much taller man's gaze. "I just wanted to talk to Tesra."

Nnoitra sneered. "Oh, did you now? Well that's just great, seeing as you seem to like talkin' about him, too."

"Nnoitra-sama-" Tesra started.

"You love it so fucking much that you went to talk to Aizen about him, huh?" Nnoitra continued, stepping forward on his long legs towards Izuru, who became more and more aware of the wall he was being backed into. "Well, sucks to be you because Aizen ain't havin' it. Tesra stays with me."

Izuru scoffed slightly. "Great, but what are you going to do when the other eye is gone?"

"You little bitch" Nnoitra hissed, his arm shooting out to push Izuru's chest against the wall, his long fingers splayed across the length of the blondes chest. "You don't know shit, about me, or him, and you never will. You get that, kid?"

"Stop calling me a kid, I'm an adult" Izuru glared back.

"I don't see an adult. I see a kid that bent over at the first sign of affection" Nnoitra nearly growled. "And look where that got your ass" he said, his hand running down Izuru's chest and stopping to claw his fingers sharply over the bump, successfully freezing the blonde in terror. "But don't worry about this," he whispered. "'Cause I can get rid of your little monster for ya. I'll rip it right out-"

Suddenly, a pale hand shot out, wrapping long slender fingers around Nnoitra's thin wrist, clenching and pressing the bones together painfully.

Breath returning in a small gasp, Izuru turned his head numbly to look behind Nnoitra, where the pale figure of Gin stood, standing straight and tall, his hand free from his sleeves.

His smile still stretched ear to ear, but the edges were much sharper than usual, his eyes actually glinting open just slightly to reveal a glint of icy blue. Every angle that made up Gin looked dangerous now, every inch made of blades.

"Nee, whatcha doin' there, Quinto-chan?" he asked lightly, but with a clear and defined murderous intent breaking it up. Just to make his point clear, he squeezed Nnoitra's wrist again, grinding the bones into contact.

Nnoitra let out a small pained noise through clenched teeth, his eye large and furious at the sudden appearance of his superior.

"I think I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear none a that stuff ya said, 'cuz if I killed ya now Aizen-sama'd probally get real pissy with me" Gin continued, his voice getting lighter and more dangerous with each word. "But ya ain't off the hook yet."

Gin stepped forward, placing his other hand on Nnoitra's forearm, snaking his fingers around the bony limb. Smiling wider, he brought his hands together quickly and efficiently, successfully snapping Nnoitra's wrist.

A cry of pain escaped from between Nnoitra's teeth, his eye fighting between staying open and closing in agony.

"There now" Gin said, feigning his happy tone to hold back the urge to snap every other bone in the arrancars body. "Now why don't ya get your ass outta here before I slice ya up nice and bloody?"

Ripping the taller man away from the still cornered blonde, Gin closed the distance between them, placing his hand in Izuru's cold one.

Nnoitra looked toward him lividly for a split second, looking as though he had something else to say, but turned away instead.

"Nnoitra-sama..." Tesra broke in quietly, "What do you want me-"

"Fuck off, Tesra" Nnoitra growled, stalking his way down the hallway and around the corner in the direction of the medical ward.

For a moment Tesra stood there, seeming very not put-out by Nnoitra's words. Sighing, he looked to Kira. "I'll go... back to my room now, see if Luppi's there" he turned to head down the same hallway as Nnoitra. "Bye Kira" he said softly, walking away.

"Bye Tesra" Kira said hollowly, watching the other blondes retreating back as it rounded the corner the opposite direction of his master.

They stood in silence for a moment, Izuru's breath steadying out from it's frightened beat. Gin turned to look at his blonde, his eyes cracking open.

"'Zu?"

Izuru took a deep breath, sighing it out shakily as he looked back at Gin with large blue eyes. "Yes?" he asked.

"Ya alright?" Gin asked, his smile not quite snaking back onto his face.

"Yeah...I'm fine."

The silver-haired man nodded. "We need to talk, yeah?"

Izuru nodded. "We do" he said, feeling his stomach beginning to turn in anxiousness.

Gin sighed, pulling on the blondes hand. "Back ta the room, then."

XXX

They sat in silence for a very long time; years, a millennium passed between them, just sitting and finding no way to begin what they needed to say.

Izuru sat in one of the chairs, slumped back in exhaustion, picking at a ragged nail in nervousness, occasionally stealing glances at the other man perched on the edge of the bed.

Gin's eyes were open, that was incredibly unnerving, but they didn't look at him, they were trained on the floor in front of him.

With a small quivering sigh, Izuru looked towards the ground. "Gin, I don't know what to say..."

"Obviously."

The blonde sniffed a bit. "I just...there's so much I want to say, but..."

"It's okay" Gin said, smiling again, if only a bit smaller. "I can't really think where to start, either."

"There's something I want to ask you, but I don't want you to get angry..." Izuru said softly, pulling at the nail until a small bead of blood appeared.

"I got somethin' ta tell ya, too. But ya can go first" Gin said, standing steadily and crossing to kneel beside the blondes chair, pulling his nails from his bleeding finger.

Izuru breathed in and out steadily, not finding it in him to meet the others gaze. "You have to promise not to be angry at me."

Gin nodded. "Promise."

Deep breathing, once, twice, three times. "You see, well...you want what's best for the baby, right?"

""Zu, of course I do."

"And me?"

"Yes..." Gin trailed off, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

Izuru raised his head to look at Gin with anxiously drawn eyebrows. "Then would you take me home?"

The silver-haired man froze, his eyes inched up curiously. Well, this made the idea of telling Izuru they were jumping ship much easier. His smile returned to his face, the good fortune of this event sweeping over, and he thanked whatever deity was listening that he and his blonde could think alike on occasion. He brought up Izuru's hand, kissing the back of it softly.

"We can go wherever ya like, Blondie."

Izuru's eyes went large, surprise pricking around in their blue depths. He turned over Gin's words in his head, looking for any secret crack or crevice. A smile began to form, pale and tentative. "You...you mean it? You really do?"

"Yeah, been thinkin' about it myself" Gin answered, brushing the blondes bangs away from his face. "Been thinkin' that takin' ya here might not a been the best thing for ya."

"I'd be lying if I said I disagreed" Izuru admitted.

"An' I went to see Tousen today, and he said he'd help get ya out of here."

The blonde frowned. "Why would he-"

"Tousen's mind is a slippery slope I ain't goin' down" Gin shook his head. "But that isn't the important part, what matters is that now ya got a way out, an' he said he could get ya out by next week at the latest."

Izuru nodded. "Yes, alright. And you...you'll come with, right?"

"No, you're goin' back alone. I don't wanna get involved- a course I'm comin' with ya, ya dizzy blonde" Gin said, rumpling the blondes hair and internally rolling his eyes.

Izuru's cheeks tinted pink, but he gave a small smile. "That's good, and...Aizen?"

Gin shook his head. "We'll be long gone 'fore he figures out we made a break for it."

Breathing out a large breath, Izuru placed his other hand on Gin's cheek, rubbing his thumb over the smooth skin. "You've thought of everything, then."

"Did what I can. All ya need ta worry about is what you'll do when ya get back, 'cuz it might surprise 'em. And ya know how shinigami get when they're surprised."

"Trigger happy" Izuru nodded. "I'll think of something."

"Good boy" Gin smiled, putting hid hand up to cover Izuru's. "No worries there, ne?"

Shaking his head, Izuru laughed quietly. "Me worry? Get real."

A small laugh escaped Gin's mouth, and he kissed Izuru's forehead. "Izuru?"

"Yes?"

"Ya know I love ya, an' I always think you're a knock out, but" he sighed. "Ya look terrible."

Izuru opened his mouth to either reject or agree, but shut his mouth resignedly and nodded.

"Ya need ta eat more...sleep more...have a baby, maybe..."

"Soon, very soon" Izuru said, glancing down at the bump. "In a few weeks we're going to have a baby."

"That we are" Gin nodded, smiling wider. "Are ya excited?"

The blonde sighed with a little smile. "Nervous."

Gin gathered both of the others hands in his, rubbing their backs. "Don' be nervous; I know you'll be fine, and I'll be right there if ya get scared."

"Thank you" Izuru said, leaning down over the bump to kiss Gin. It was supposed to be short and sweet, but the other man's hand went up to twine his fingers through Izuru's pale hair, pulling and scratching softly at the mans sensitive scalp. Izuru's mouth opened in a sigh of pleasure, allowing Gin's tongue to enter his mouth and begin to massage along the crevices of his mouth and his own tongue. They parted softly for air, and they kept their faces close, foreheads resting against each other.

"I love you" Izuru said quietly, eyes closed as his chest rose and fell.

"Love you" Gin whispered back, hand still buried in his lovers hair.

A sharp knock resounded throughout the room, sending Izuru's head snapping to the door, all interest in Gin's mouth gone.

"What is that?"

"Dunno" Gin said, reluctantly standing. "I'll check."

He gave Izuru's head one more scratch, earning him a pleased noise from the back of the blondes throat. He smiled wider at this and began walking to the door, his steps considerably lighter than they were when he had entered the room, now that he knew everything was planned out.

His hand curved around the handle of the door, firmly pulling it open to see who interrupted his potential make-out session with his blonde, and coming face to face with Tousen.

Gin opened his mouth to speak, but the darker man beat him to it, face firmly set. "You should come with me now" he said emotionless. "There's been movement."

XXX

What a bitch of a chapter.

Thanks for reading! Reviews add ten years to my life!