Authors note: Although FF.net ate up about 10 reviews,  I did get them through email.  So if you're isn't up there, I have read it, and thanks J

And here is where I lose all the fans of the story!  Jeez, I hope not.  This chapter is completely screwed up, but it's where I wanted the story to go.  Whether I got there or not, we shall see.  Please, please, please let me know what you think!  If you've never reviewed for me before, now would be the time to do it.  So for those of you who I haven't scared off, please go read.

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Everything looked new.  The flowers on the walk that she'd presumed were all dead were blinking bright color, the dried grass had spots of happy green.  Just from one little thing, just finding out who the man she loved really was, everything around her came alive.  There was just a tiny smidgen of doubt planted somewhere deep inside her, that something was missing.  But it was a very small smidgen.  The greater part of her felt like it was floating, swirling around in the clouds of heaven.

            'The glass is half full,' she chanted around in her mind.  Then glared at the fat squirrel on the tree, as if it was disagreeing with her.

Buffy was on a high.  Everything was beautiful, everything was gorgeous and alive, and how could she have ever wanted to leave this world?  There were imperfections, in the back of her mind she knew there had to be.  But who cared?

The nice lady was remarkably understanding, smiling along as Buffy rediscovered everything.  Shared her joy at seeing a purple butterfly spreading it's wings among the dead grass.  Laughed with her. 

            "What will you do now?" She asked.

And Buffy just shook her head and smiled.  What wouldn't she do?  She had Spike in her heart.  She had the pieces of herself put together, one big lump of chocolaty cookie goodness.  She was perfectly happy.

            'Not perfectly happy,' her heart reminded her.  'If only –'

But Buffy firmly told her heart to be quiet.  Everything could not be had, every single thing she desired could not be hers.  This was enough.

            "But it's not, is it?"

            'Yes, it is' she returned.  Then realized it was not her who had thought the words.

The nice lady was smiling at her, and her eyes were soft and blue.

            "Is it?"

            "What are you talking about?"  Buffy knew her voice was shaking.  This world was perfect.  It was as good as she would ever get.

            "It'll never be enough, will it?  Not without him."

Buffy fell.  The clouds were gone, the angels around her vanished, and the splotches of brightness amid the death disappeared. 

            "Wha- what are you doing?"

            "Only helping you Buffy," the nice lady said, still smiling her soft smile.  "This world isn't perfect, don't fool yourself into thinking it is."

She was chocking on her own tears even as she wondered what was going on.

            "Go find him, Buffy.  Don't settle.  Get him, and be happy, because you deserve it."

It was all swirling inside her brain, smoky fog that she tried to make clear.

            "How do you know my name?"

The nice lady smiled.

            "How do you know mine?"

Buffy frowned.  She didn't know.  

            "Yes you do," the lady corrected gently.  She turned around, and was walking back towards the library, and where she walked, everything seemed just a little brighter. 

            "Tar-"

The nice lady was gone.  And Buffy had to find someone.