Canine Affinity
Disclaimer:
As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who Thank yous:
To Maggie, who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings.
To Arca, who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way.
And to you, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well.
created the characters I borrowed to write this story.
And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this
when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free,
you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ?
Dedication:
To Akari, my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian, And to Nicky, my "near twin" sister,who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one
available (as well as their French versions - made by me)on her website (see my profile for a link).
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius's "fit of jealousy",
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you",
and also the one of the scene in chapter 8 when they're in the cellar of Honeydukes).
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Epilogue
"I should turn back to my bed now," Remus said for the third time of the evening.
But he still didn't move. How he wished he could just stay there, curled up beside his boyfriend, feeling his body warmth all night long and seeing his pretty smile first thing in the morning! But James and Peter didn't know yet they were together, so it wouldn't be prudent.
"Oh, come on! They won't notice if you stay. They can't see through the curtains, you know," Sirius insisted in his usual careless tone.
"And what would I do tomorrow morning?" Remus objected in a valiant effort to keep his good sense alive in spite of the shower of little kisses that was trying to drown it. "I can't just get out of your bed and say 'hi' as if there was nothing surprising."
Sirius stopped kissing him only to burst out laughing.
"The look on their faces would be priceless!"
"Really, Sirius, we should tell them, not let them find out in a way that would shock them."
"It will shock them anyway," Sirius sighed, apparently not in a kissing or laughing mood anymore. "Can you imagine? What would you have thought if I had suddenly told you I was in love with James?"
Remus tensed almost imperceptibly at the mention of what he once had considered a possibility.
"You never were, were you?" he asked hastily.
Sirius laughed again, louder.
"Of course not, Moony! I love you, remember?"
Remus was about to say he knew it and loved Sirius too when a squeaking noise gave him a start.
"What's that?"
The squeal didn't repeat itself, but Remus knew he hadn't dreamed.
"It sounded like Wormtail," he said. "I mean, not Peter - the rat."
"Must be a mouse, then," Sirius replied absent-mindedly. "Peter had no reason to transform to go on that mysterious date he..."
This time they both froze. Footsteps... Unnaturally loud footsteps, as if the person who was arriving wanted to make sure he would be heard.
Remus leapt out of Sirius's bed and threw himself on his just in time. But he couldn't manage to draw the curtains close before Peter entered.
"Er...hi!" Remus mumbled nervously, trying to ignore Sirius's giggles at the greeting that reminded him of their previous conversation. "How was your date?"
Peter stared at him for some seconds, looking very ill at ease.
"It...wasn't exactly a date," he said eventually. "Nothing important, I've already told you..."
"Yes," Sirius intervened, emerging from behind his curtains, "but I already told you that was not an acceptable answer. Since when do you hide things from us?"
Remus immediately knew it was exactly the sentence that none of them should ever have uttered. He turned to his boyfriend with an expression that said clearly, "That was not very wise, Padfoot," and Sirius acknowledged as silently as Remus that, once again, he would have done better to think before speaking.
Peter looked at them alternatively, apparently hesitating.
"You two never hide anything from me, I'm sure..." he muttered then.
There was a slight touch of reproach in his tone of voice, but that was not what made Remus look down, ashamed.
Of course, he and Sirius had very good reasons to be discreet, but was it worth hurting their friends, making them think they didn't trust them enough to tell the truth?
Sirius probably felt a little guilty about that too, since he stopped trying to find out more about the date-that-was-not-really-one and asked gently, "You know, then?"
Remus looked up, but said nothing. He could see that Peter was debating with himself on what kind of answer he would give.
"I mean...about me and Moony," Sirius clarified rather uselessly as their friend still didn't say a word.
Peter sighed.
"Yes," he confessed in a very low voice, "I...I heard what you were saying when I arrived. It was...very clear."
Sirius telling Remus he loved him... Nothing could have been clearer, indeed!
"Sorry you had to find out about it that way," Remus said, eyes practically begging for Peter's comprehension. "We didn't intend to keep it secret forever but...well, it's not exactly the easiest thing to explain..."
"I suppose it's not..." Peter murmured thoughtfully. "Prongs doesn't know, does he?"
Sirius shook his head.
"If I had found a way to tell him, I would have told you, too."
That, at least, was a good reply. It would convince Peter they didn't trust him less than they trusted James. Even if Remus knew that, in reality, Sirius cared much more about James's reaction than about Peter's.
"Is it okay?" Remus asked tentatively. "I mean... I know it must come as quite a shock and you'll probably need time to get used to the idea, but..."
Peter made a vague gesture of the hand to indicate he didn't think it was that dramatic.
"I survived the first shock you gave me, so I can survive this one as well," he said simply in a rather awkward attempt at humour while sitting at the edge of Remus's bed. "Even if it's weird that you two are...er..."
"...in love?" Sirius suggested.
Then he turned to Remus with a wide smile, and Remus shyly smiled back.
"It's very weird!" Peter exclaimed, looking, again, alternatively at one then at the other. "Especially because you really don't look..."
This sentence was also left unfinished, and Sirius provided a suitable end again.
"...gay?"
Remus doubted that this word was the one Peter had had in mind - it was more likely one of the much less polite words people generally use to refer to boys who are not interested in girls - and Sirius was surely aware of that as well, but, by a kind of tacit agreement, they all decided to pretend other words didn't exist.
Peter nodded, looking rather worried about the others' reaction.
"That must be because we're not even sure we are," Sirius explained, shrugging. "See, I do like girls...at least when I'm not forced to take them out and spend hours wondering what I'm supposed to talk about. So it's probably by chance that the person I feel better with is a boy."
Peter didn't seem too convinced but, instead of making a comment that the others could have taken the wrong way, he merely turned to Remus with a questioning look in his eyes.
"Oh, please don't ask me!" Remus almost implored. "I really can't tell. All I know is that Sirius is nearly the only person I could allow myself to…like more than anyone else, and I can't believe I'm so lucky. The probability of him loving me too was so distant..."
An awkward moment followed. Although Remus hadn't mentioned the names of the other people he could have allowed himself to love, Peter was not stupid enough not to guess what it meant - those who knew about the "furry little problem" and were fine with it, so James and...him.
The silence threatened to drag on forever when James eventually broke it by opening the door abruptly and asking loudly, "Wormtail, was it you as the rat I saw running down a corridor ten minutes ago?"
Judging by Peter's sudden paleness, Remus had no doubt that the answer was yes. And James obviously shared that opinion since he went on without waiting.
"Were you spying on me and Lily?"
"No!" Peter replied hastily, shaking his head. Then, after a second of reflection, he added sheepishly, "Well, okay...sort of. But I didn't mean to...to be indiscreet. I just wanted to...er...see how it was...to be with her."
Those words seemed to stun James, who stayed speechless and frozen, eyes widened in an expression of amazement.
Sirius took advantage of it to impose in the conversation.
"So that was your so-called date! James's date... You know, your living by proxy might have gone a little too far, this time."
"Sirius..." Remus said warningly.
He really didn't think they should interfere in that matter. Especially with such a light tone, even if James apparently didn't care.
"I know. I...I just didn't realize it at the moment," Peter mumbled.
Although he was talking to Sirius, he apprehensively glanced at James, whose silence seemed to scare him as much as an explosion of anger - probably because he feared that the explosion would come next, at any moment. But it didn't.
"Do you...like Lily?"
James's voice was surprisingly calm and only a little hesitant, as if he weren't sure he wanted to hear the answer to his question. Which Remus could understand. It would have made him very uncomfortable if one of his friends had liked Sirius that way too. But that, at least, was very, very unlikely to happen.
"Not like you do," Peter said then, and Remus felt a little less worried about the future of the Marauders' friendship.
"How, then?" James asked, still sounding rather unsure.
"Not more than all of your previous girlfriends..." Peter said genuinely - or, at least, Remus had the feeling he had no idea of the strange impression his words could give.
Sirius let out a half-muffled laugh, and Remus glared at his boyfriend, his eyes telling him again he should stay out of it.
Actually, he thought, both of them should already have left the room to let the others talk privately.
"You...liked all of my previous girlfriends?!"
James clearly couldn't believe his own ears, and Sirius laughed again, ignoring completely Remus's silent message.
"I told you he was living through you! You're his hero, Prongs! So he likes who you like, it's as simple as that! Isn't it, Wormtail?"
"Er...yes?" Peter ventured, confusion written all over his face.
This time, Sirius was not alone to laugh. James did, too, and even Remus allowed himself an amused smile.
"Okay, so why don't you ask out one of those girls who had their poor little heart broken by our famous Quidditch star?" Sirius asked Peter.
"Me? You're joking! They don't even know I exist. I'm transparent to them!"
"Well, make yourself noticed...then talk about Prongs and how good he is at Quidditch. At least you won't be short of arguments."
Peter still looked doubtful, but James laughed louder, quickly followed by Sirius. Remus eventually joined in, happy to see that no one seemed to be mad at one of the others anymore.
"Speaking of dating, Padfoot..." James said then, sitting next to his best friend with a rather mischievous smile. "Did you follow that piece of advice you've just given to Wormtail? You've been surprisingly understanding about Lily lately."
"Well...not exactly," Sirius began, instinctively glancing at Remus. "I've found...someone special, yes, but it's not a girl you dated before."
Revelation time was drawing nearer... Remus knew his boyfriend was terribly nervous, and, in a way, he could even sense that nervousness - or maybe he was only imagining things, but, in any case, he liked the idea of them being constantly connected by the link they had only experienced on full moon nights so far. So he tried to concentrate and send some encouraging waves to Sirius.
In the meantime, James had started making subtle deductions in the hope to guess the name of the "lucky girl" who had achieved the nearly impossible task of catching Sirius Black's heart.
"Let me think... Is it that Hufflepuff who refused to go out with me last year because she liked you more? Or that Ravenclaw who always manages to get in your way when you enter the Great Hall so you're forced to ask her to step aside and it gives her the opportunity to talk to you? It can't possibly be a Slytherin, can it?"
Sirius shook his head at every question, and after some more unsuccessful attempts, James begged for a clue.
"At least, tell me what House she's in, what colour her hair is or...if I ever met her, for a start!"
Peter sniggered and Remus cast him a dark look. However, he had to admit that, to a person who wasn't involved, the situation must be very funny. Actually, in spite of all of those "her" references that made it rather offensive, he couldn't help finding James's sentence quite amusing too. So he quickly stopped frowning and smiled instead.
As for Sirius... He certainly wasn't calm, but he didn't seem too fidgety either.
"Gryffindor, light brown hair...and it's someone you know, yes," he said in a tone that sounded almost normal.
"A Gryffindor..." James repeated thoughtfully. "One of Lily's friends, perhaps? But no, Iona's hair is dark brown and Sandra has a Muggle boyfriend, doesn't she? Er...another clue?"
Sirius hesitated. For a long time. Remus wondered whether he should simply say, "It's me" to put a stop to the tension that was becoming more and more unbearable with every second. But, before he could decide, Sirius made his mind up to speak at last.
"Canine affinity?"
In less than thirty seconds, everyone turned to Remus. First Peter, apparently worried; then James, as soon as his mind got over his astonishment; and, finally, Sirius - a very, very nervous Sirius whose eyes were openly begging for support.
Remus thought he couldn't allow himself to look embarrassed or anything of that kind. So he did his best to smile reassuringly at his boyfriend and hold his grey-blue eyes' gaze.
"You?" James eventually managed to say in a barely audible voice.
Remus nodded and kept silent.
When James looked his way again, Sirius just gave a "Well, yes. So?" kind of shrug that, Remus guessed, was supposed to convince his friend he didn't doubt his acceptance.
"Makes quite a shock, doesn't it?" Peter intervened, since none of the others seemed to be able to find something to say. "I had just found out when you arrived. Accidentally heard Padfoot whispering sweet words to Moony... Can you imagine how weird it sounds?"
He was laughing, so Remus knew he didn't really mind, but it was probably better to clarify a few things...
"Don't worry, we won't bother you by...holding hands or anything in front of you. We'll be as discreet as we can in order to avoid making you uncomfortable. So nothing will change. We're still friends, even if Sirius and I are also...a little more now."
"Oh, come on, Moony, I will never ask you to refrain from holding Sirius's hand in front of me if you wanted to!" James replied immediately. "Do you think I couldn't stand to see you together? I'm not that easily shocked! As far as I'm concerned, you can even kiss, I don't mind."
The tone of voice and the familiar sparkles in his friend's eyes gave Remus the suspicion that the idea amused him, probably because it would make a good pretext to tease them. However, he decided to pretend not to have seen that and smiled shyly in answer to the reassuring words.
Unsurprisingly, Sirius reacted in a totally different way. Jumping up on his feet, he crossed with one step the distance between the two beds, sat down beside Remus then put an arm around his shoulders and...a little kiss on his lips.
Peter automatically walked the other way to take Sirius's previous place next to James, who was watching, highly amused, as a blushing Remus tried to force Sirius to keep his effusiveness within the limits of decency.
"Maybe we should retire discreetly before it turns to something really shocking," Peter whispered to James - but not low enough to escape Remus's notice.
"Or maybe we could just remind Sirius we're here... Hey, Padfoot! I'm sincerely glad to see you've finally found 'someone special' but I think Moony would rather keep some things private..."
Sirius turned to his best friend with a wide grin.
"I know, but I love embarrassing him. He's so cute with his cheeks all red, isn't he?"
James laughed and said nothing.
"Okay, you probably can't tell if a boy is cute... Whatever. It's true you're happy for me?"
"Of course I am!" James assured without a second of hesitation.
And Remus felt particularly touched to hear him add, "I'm happy for both of you."
"You and Lily are the most incredibly understanding people I've ever met," he said, beaming. "She had guessed even before Sirius and I stopped trying to pretend we were only closer friends than before. And she convinced me to talk to him about it..."
"You did choose the right girl, Prongs," Sirius agreed.
Which brought him an amazed look from both James and Peter.
"What? It's true! She's been great with Moony... Plus, you were right. I do understand now."
"Understand what?" Peter asked, confused.
"What James told me...about being in love."
"Except that I said you had to find the girl who would make you understand. Obviously, I was wrong on that point..."
They all laughed.
"You couldn't guess..." Sirius resumed after a few seconds. "Actually, if you had mentioned the possibility of a boy, I would have thought you were totally out of your mind. So it's better that you didn't."
"How could he have had such an extraordinary idea, anyway?" Peter wondered, laughing again.
"Well...we had," Remus pointed out. "But I have to admit it felt terribly 'extraordinary' to me too at first."
"And now?" Sirius asked gently.
"Now...you know what I think."
It might be a little stupid, but he couldn't say "I love you" in front of the others. Maybe he would be able to do it someday, but not now. Not yet. Sirius didn't really need to hear the words, anyway. They were surely written in his eyes.
"You know what?" Peter said to James just a little too loud again. "The weirdest thing is not that they're two boys but that they're Padfoot and Moony!"
"You'll get used to it," James replied calmly.
Then, as Remus and Sirius looked their way again, he smiled at them and added thoughtfully, "You know, I would never have imagined it could happen but, in a way, it doesn't surprise me that much. Somehow, seeing you together seems...right."
They both smiled back, surprised, of course, but very pleased and touched by their friend's kind words.
"You see?" Sirius whispered then in his Moony's ear. "We're meant to be together; even Prongs can see it. And that's the real meaning of 'canine affinity.' "
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Thanks again to all the people who reviewed chapter 8
(Lu, since your review wasn't signed, I couldn't send you my reply,
but you'll find a link to it on my profile page),
and also to all the people who read the story even if they never commented.
This is your last opportunity to tell me what you liked or not…
It's so sad to say goodbye!
Hope I'll "see" you again someday…
