A/N: LOVE TO THE BETA! Isabella is the bestestest beta in the world! Pop that 200 review cherry and lets see how far we can get into 200. I'll announce the lucky 200th review on the next chapter.
love love love,
juliet
Chapter 9
Paul's Point of Speculation
Bella Swan is a dead woman. I can't stress enough just how much effort it is going to take for me just for me NOT to ring her skinny little neck! There was no fucking way she would whine or bitch her way out of any punishment this time either. There was a rogue fucking vampire in the woods today, that it just so happens she talked to and now she just up and disappears, worrying Jake, Billy and scaring the shit out of me. As if that wasn't bad enough, only seconds after Jake texted me he was going to come and help me look for her, my insides felt like they were being set on fire, followed by the deepest sorrow I have ever felt washing over me. I just knew it was her, where ever she was. She was sad, possibly even hurt and I couldn't even call her. I learned that little factor at my first and last attempt I had tried to call her and seen she had left her phone at my house. That had been my final straw. I was gonna kill that girl, lock her up or maybe just bubble wrap her ass and put her on a tether.
By the time I spotted her truck driving into view, it was almost 4a.m.. I heard the protest and groan of the engine two miles before it even hit the LaPush border. The sound of the truck starting to slow down told me she obviously saw Jake, Quil, Seth and myself standing in the middle of the road by the border in our wolf forms... waiting for her. We stepped to the side to let her go by, but as she crawled by us, glaring at only the road ahead, refusing to make eye contact with any of us. "I'm getting my phone." I heard her whisper and then step on the gas, making the truck growl with the effort.
I warned the guys this was going to be loud and nasty, probably ending up with her mad at me again, but the one thing I was sure of there was going to be a fight. Seth ducked out fast, mumbling something about school in a few hours. Jake followed his lead mumbling something about going to bed as well. For what I really had no idea, since he had been talking about getting his GED. Quil was about to run with me until I gave him a look that seemed to tell him exactly what I felt at the moment. Just to be sure he got the point I thought 'If you are going to object to how I handle this situation, then you better not follow me'. He got the message loud and clear and decided he better go run patrol with Sam.
When I reached my backyard I phased, pulling on my sweats just as her truck was just pulling up. I ran over to her, wanting to catch her before she tried to dart away from me again, but she got a head start and reached the front door before I could get there and ran in, looking around for her phone.
"Call my phone," she demanded, not looking up at me.
I made no attempt to acknowledge her little demand and remained standing with arms crossed in front of me. It appeared she was going to continue to do everything she could to keep the space of the entire room between us. I just stared at her and waited for her to get enough balls to look me in the eyes, which she didn't, but I used her stubborness against her, taking inventory of her appearance. Her hair was a mess, like she had been in a wind tunnel for 3 hours and then threw her hair in a messy bun to cover the fact. Her pants and hoody were both covered in a mixture of thick black dirt mixed with dust, she was filthy. She began pacing the opposite end of the room, expertly avoiding my gaze, while she looked for her phone. I put it in my back pocket earlier, so I knew she wouldn't be running out anytime soon . I remained patient as I waited for answers, until I smelt that horrid sugary bleach smell and tried to refrain from gagging.
"Bella where have you been!" I demanded, walking over to her. I was stopped as she threw her hand up with pale palm facing me. Her hand was shaking and her eyes were all bloodshot, and puffy. Oh my God! If she had to defend herself against a vampire I would never forgive myself. Without warning my voice betrayed me and came out whiny and pleading, but I didn't care. "Bella, please! What happened?"
"Paul," her voice broke and her hand dropped. I reached to grab it before it could land back to her side. Her eyes fell on our entangled fingers and she dropped to her knees. Before she could fall to the ground, I took her in my arms and pulled her onto my lap, holding her against my chest.
"Shhh. It's alright baby, tell me what happened," I cooed, rocking slightly back and forth as if she were a child. That's exactly what she reminded me of, a scared little child who just couldn't wake from her nightmare...
"I was just trying to clear my head, you know?" she murmured against my chest. If it weren't for the wolf hearing I wouldn't have heard her. "I ended up at my old house." I suddenly felt her cool tears streaming down the hot skin of my chest,causing me to react with a sharp gasp. I knew how hard it must have been for her, remembering the conversations with Billy and seeing the events of that night through Jake's mind from one of the many nights we patrolled together.
"Aww, sweety..." Was all I could say, I had no idea what was even appropriate at the moment.
She didn't seem to mind or maybe she just didn't notice, and took a deep shaky breath and continued. "It was like I was . . .on autopilot. I couldn't stop myself or steer my truck. I didn't even realize that was where I was headed until I was already there." She seemed to be reliving the moment in her head, she was so silent and still. I thought maybe she had fallen asleep until suddenly her head popped up and I she looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh my god! I totally forgot!" she said excitedly, scrambling out of my lap and standing up. She shoved her hand into the pocket of her tight jeans and fished around for a brief second before coming back out with a balled up piece of paper.
She took off into the kitchen, switching on all the lights and then setting the paper on the counter. I followed behind her, looking over her shoulder at the paper while she explained the significance. "You see there was a lamp in my dads room and the bulb burst. It made me scream like a moron, but then the moonlight caught something.. like sparkling or something, and I went over to see what it was. It was outta place, not my Dads you know, so I picked it up with the paper so that my fingerprints weren't on it," she said as she exhaled loudly. Carefully she crumpled the paper revealing a tiny shiny object. It was one of those small dangly things that hung off bracelets and necklaces . . . a charm. At first I thought it was an animal or something, but the closer I looked I seen it was intricately engraved with initials.
"B.T.?" she asked, looking back at me. A little confused, I could only nod in reply. I had no idea what that meant, but I could see in her expression she was convinced it was significant. Maybe it was, but it had been three years since the investigation and the investigators hadn't found this, which probably meant it wasn't there when they were gathering evidence. Panic washed through my body once again. There was a chance a vampire was with Bella. What if the damn bloodsucker was watching her? That fucker probably got off on her sorrow as she looked through her dead fathers belongings.
Could that be why she reeked like a bloodsucker? Was the damn thing in Charlie's room? It only made sense, the damn stench on her was so strong. I decided not to say anything, not until I was sure. I needed to get her into the shower before Jake caught it and freaked out, he was still a bit young and had trouble controlling his impulses. I looked back at her only to realize she had been staring at me silently while I gathered my thoughts. "Stay…Please?"
"What? No, I have to go to Billy's," she quietly replied, balling up the paper again and shoving it back into her jeans. I grabbed her arm before she could get past me, but quickly released it as she shot me a warning look.
"Look, you scared me tonight….disappearing like you did," I said, following behind her as she walked towards the living room once again. I assumed she was still looking for her phone. "I. . .please Bella just...Bella would you stop for a second! BELLA!" I finally snapped, fuck. She stopped turning to face me and opened her mouth to bitch at me, but I was not having it. "NO! You listen to me! You stupid selfish girl! You scared the shit out of me tonight! I woke up and you were gone. All this pain and fucking sorrow I felt, it crippled me. Then you come here smelling like - like dirt… and then I seen you've been crying... Give me a Goddamn chance Bella!" I seethed. I knew that if I could get her to argue with me, I would get her to stay. All I had to do is pick a fight with her by poking her guilt complex. I felt like the most fucked up person ever, but if it kept her with me then I was willing to an asshole and keep her pissed all of the time. I started to walk away towards the bedroom, praying that this would work. "You're absurd, you know that? You're fine with werewolves, you don't have an issue believing there are vampires, but me caring for you? That one you can't comprehend. That one you have trouble with."
"Paul, I..." she stared at me, all her fight gone. It was apparent enough to see across the room. She looked like she had been . . . defeated. "Paul, I'm . . .not right. I'm broken. I will never be able to not be fucked up. It's not you, really it's me. I know it sounds like a lame bullshit excuse, but really I would only end up hurting you."
I turned around and walked towards her, clearing the space in between us, taking her into my arms. I felt as if I had gone to spirits and been given the most precious gift. "Bella, when you run from me and your not this close to me, you're killing me." I kissed her forehead lightly and she looked up at me, her eyelashes were still wet from her tears. "When you are here, you're saving me."
"I'll take a shower," she simply said, and then walked towards the bathroom. She looked like hell, and I knew it wouldn't take much persuasion after a nice hot shower for her to stay the night. I heard the shower start and walked over to my phone, calling Billy to let him know that she was safe and would be staying the night. I said my good nights and hung up the phone.
After a mental battle back and forth, I convinced myself that I had to grab her clothes and wash them. I snuck into the bathroom and gathered her clothes. I held them away from me because the body-rot and sweet smell was so nauseating. I walked through the kitchen to the laundry room and threw her hoody, shirt and socks in the washer. I searched her pockets so that I didn't accidentally wash anything important before throwing the pants into the washer . I carefully put the crumpled ball of paper on the top of the dryer before adding the jeans and soap and closing the lid.
"Paul?" I heard from the bathroom. Damnit, I wanted to have some clothes ready for her before she got out. "My clothes?"
"I know I'm sorry, I'm . . ." I said as I walked back through the house, only to stop short. My jaw dropped and I snapped it closed with a loud snap of my teeth. Bella had a towel wrapped around her, but it was small, something to cover her body, but barely. I usually used it as a hand towel. Her hair was all wet and stuck to her. I couldn't help thinking about our time in the rain. Had that been only yesterday? I quickly shook my head, as if to clear all the thoughts that suddenly rushed forward. "I ... uh...I am washing them. I'll go get you some clean clothes."
I quickly turned down the hall and opened the bedroom door, walked to the dresser and opened the top drawer to rummage for a shirt. Maybe I should just give her some boxers to wear, they would be the size of regular shorts on her little ass. I found a pair of boxers for her and turned to head back to the bathroom and ran straight into her small very naked form. I dropped the clothes I just gotten and automatically put out my hands to steady her. Instead of letting go, they lingered on their own, pulling slightly. She looked up at me through her long thick lashes, almost looking terrified. "Thank you," she whispered. Her bottom lip quivered and she sucked it in between her teeth.
I rested my hands on each side of her face, looking deeply into those rich chocolate eyes, placing a chaste kiss on her sweet lips and then smiled. "Bella, you are safe with me." I whispered, searching her eyes for any belief.
"What if you're not safe with me?" she said quietly, looking up and serious as all hell. What could she possibly put me through that she hadn't already?
"You already stole my virtue, temptress," I joked, kissing her again lightly, lingering yet a bit longer. I felt her smile against my lips and I leaned into her, molding her body to mine. "You have stolen my innocent thoughts," I murmured against her jaw, kissing my way down the curve of her neck. "As of right now, both would have done you well."
She giggled, her hands running up my bare back to tangle in my hair. "Then I guess you will have to," she whispered, making me pause. My erotic-fogged brain could not fathom what I was going to have to do, other then relieve the massive four-man tent in my sweats. She laughed, seemingly reading my mind. "You'll have to do me well . . . " she clarified, making me growl and tighten my arms around her.
I lifted her and set her gently on the bed, drinking in her loveliness as if I were a dying man taking his last drink of water. I didn't think it was possible to have the breath knocked out of me every time I saw her. Her lightly tanned skin was utterly flawless making her rose pink buds stand out. I wasn't willing to go another second without tasting her. I bend to give each nipple a flat tongued lick, earning a gasp from her. I felt a push on my head and looked up, seeing Bella wanted me to lay back. I grinned and obliged, willing to see where this seduction was going.
I laid back on the bed as Bella leaned over me and let her pink tongue dart over my chest. She smelt like my body-wash, it was sorta hot in an odd kinda way I hissed at the contact and flexed my fingers, willing myself to hold it together. Don't blow it now, no pun intended. She put her tongue flat, as I had just done against her nipples, and trailed it's way down my torso, kissing each ripple of my ab she passed along the way. I was getting more and more jumpy the further south she went. When she reached the low waist of my sweats I nearly jumped out of my skin. So maybe it wasn't like it was my first time, but it was just how she made me feel. Insecure and jumpy.
She tugged hard, relieving me of my pants and throwing them randomly across the room. My painfully hard manhood stood at attention, little bits of moisture glistening on the end. She grinned, licking its moist tip and then sucking me into her hot mouth. I blew out a deep breath I hadn't known I had been holding, making my cheeks puff out. I could feel her tongue swirling around me as she bobbed up and down, taking me deep into her throat. My fingers tangled into her hair, gripping tightly. "Bella...Fuck!"
Bella moaned deep in her throat making the vibrations send me over the edge, bucking my hips into her mouth as I shot all of me deep into her hot mouth. She continued to work me, not letting me soften up.
She kissed and licked her her way back up my ab's, paying special attention to my nipples, making me hiss and pull her up so that I could consume her ruby swollen lips. My hands roamed her naked body, worshiping her with my fingers. I took a hold under her ass and held her tight as I flipped her on her back, making her giggle. I would gladly hand over my man card as I say, that was defiantly the sweetest sound that I could imagine. I kissed and nibbled on her soft neck, peppering her body down to her toes and back to her lips. I grinned like a fool at the sound of her giggles. When I finally halted to look into her beautiful eyes, I seen a hooded look that nearly took my breath away.
I suddenly couldn't wait any longer, I had to feel myself inside of her. I used my knee to spread her legs, resisting the temptation to bury my head between them, I didn't have time for that. I could feel the warmth radiating out from her center, and I could smell that she had gotten very worked up when she had her mouth around me. Everything about her was calling to me, begging me to take her. I was only happy to oblige.
I brought my tip to her heated entrance, massaging her gently with it before slowly entering her fully to the hilt. We both groaned as I pulled back just as slow, just before pushing all the way back in again. Bella was trying hard to roll her hips to force my pace faster, but I wasn't having it. I would love to fuck her silly, but tonight was not about that. Tonight was about trust and maybe even the beginning of love, but I wouldn't dare breath that word out loud. Not yet.
Bella was whimpering at me, with little growls of frustration until I finally gave in, lifting her hips slightly and plunging deep inside of her. Her beautiful breasts bounced as I pounded and her breath was starting to hitch. The more I marveled in each and every way that Bella was sexy when she came, the closer I got to my own climax. "Paul...Paul..Pa...auhhhhhhhh!"
She tightened like a vice around me, moaning my name as her nails dug into my arms. I captured her lips slamming into her twice more before cumming hard, releasing her name from my lips.
Jakie-poo's point of view
I sat on the beach, waiting for Leah. She said that she wanted to talk, though I couldn't imagine what about. We just didn't talk that often, other then muttered announcements of climax. I knew what I was going to say though.
"Jacob," I turned to Leah, walking towards me. I felt my muscles flexing with effort not to walk towards her. I had to stand my ground and I had to do it now before she could say anything to deflect my train of thought.
"Look, don't say anything," I said, holding out my hand to silence whatever she was about to say. "I am tired of doing this... dancing around this... bullshit just to appease your fucked up emotions." I took a deep breath and looked into her eyes. "I'm going to lay this all out on the table, like it or not."
Leah's eyes were wide and she turned abruptly to walk away. Two steps and I had her arm, spinning her around and holding her in place. "You're going to listen to me damnit!" I yelled, grabbing a hold on her chin, forcing her to look at me. "I love you. Imprint or not, that's it. That's where I stand, so this 'come-over-and-fuck' bullshit, it ends here and now. I can't do this anymore. I can't detach myself from you any longer. It is fucking killing me Leah! It hurts!"
I released her chin, but her eyes didn't move from mine. "Jake, I . . . just can't..."
"Leah, I'll take the pain from a rejected imprint before continuing do this any longer," I ground out, feeling myself starting to shake. She quickly put her hand to my chest, easing the tremors almost instantly. "Please, just try to see that I could never hurt you. You know this, why not accept what has already been deemed perfect by mother nature? Please Leah open your eyes and see that I love you ."
She turned from me and I let her go, not having the strength or the words to explain it any other way. She started to walk away and I could already feel the hollow pain filling my heart, dull and aching. Suddenly she stopped, turning to face me. I saw the tears streaming down her face, making me feel like the biggest dick alive. She opened her mouth, but only a sob escaped and she turned once again and ran into the forest.
I was in conflict. Do I follow her? Try to comfort her, it's what every fiber of my body was telling me to do. I felt all the pain and sorrow that I had just caused her as if I had done it to myself. I pretty much had. God Jake you're a real winner, nice way to fuck shit up. Only I am capable of that, fucking up a sure thing. But it wasn't a sure thing, it was hurting me and that was why I had to say something.
I felt a sudden rip of pain through my left arm and down my right leg that almost brought me to my knees. Leah. Leah!
I ran as hard and as far as I could, following Leah's scent . . . .
Leah Mo-Meea's Point of View
How could he do this to me. I didn't want to think about these fucking emotions that I have so carefully tucked away in the spot of my brain least used. Weren't you going there to do the same thing? Why? Why mess something up that we had going that was so perfect? It wasn't perfect and you know it. Fuck! SHUT UP!
Great I've become a nut job talking to myself... inside my own head no less! I love Jake. I knew it was the imprint at first, but even fighting it, I felt myself loving the little things that imprints usually overlook. The way he purses his lips when he's trying to keep from saying something mean or nasty. He is always nice to me, no matter how bitchy I get. The way that he whispers I love you when he leaves my house, thinking I don't hear him. His eyes, smile, hair, nose, every fucking thing about him. Yet, I continued to keep him at arms length, well not really, a lot closer then an arm's length. Okay so a metaphoric emotional arm's length.
I am such a fucking moron! He sat there telling me that he would rather take the imprint rejection pain, which we all knew how bad that could be when we watched both Paul and Bella practically dying each day they were apart, then what I was doing to him. All I had to do was tell the truth, tell him I loved him too. What did I do instead? Open and closed my mouth like a gasping fish and then ran away.
The more I willed my feet to turn around, the further away I walked. Here I was, still walking, getting further and further away from my greatest fear. Love. I kept on my mental rant, self loathing, pity party, just aimlessly walking when I almost ran right into a girl in the forest. I looked and realizing that I had walked my way out of La Push. I looked at the girl, she had dark eyes, almost a muddy color, long brown hair and pale white skin. She stood staring at me with a smug look, as if she had just won a challenge or something. Silently, she was casually leaning against a tree, indifferently picking at her nails.
I could see that she was a leech, but couldn't smell her. Why couldn't I smell her?
She smiled wickedly at me, her eyes looking me over, accessing me. "Well hello, puppy."
A/N: Thank you everyone for your Lovely reviews! We are about to the pop the big 200 cherry, so lets see how far in we can pop it! Review Review!
