AN: Sorry this chapter has taken so long to post. My computer crashed, and most of my files have been corrupted. Damn you Microsoft! On another point; thanks to those people who are reviewing; both those who have been with this story since the beginning, and the people who are just discovering the story now. If it wasn't for you, I don't think I'd have the drive to continue writing. I say this because you're probably all going to hate me for the ending of this chapter.

Chapter Seven: As Lost As You Think

How long has it been since you've seen him? Days? Weeks? Months? You fear to work it out, because you know it must be at least a year. There was a time not too long ago when you couldn't bear to be apart for any more than a day or two, but lately you've been so busy with Videl in and out of hospitals for pre-natal checks, and then there was the actual birth, so there hasn't really been time…

Or at least that's what you tell yourself. The truth is that there has been dozens of chances for you to visit him, but you haven't.

You're still just young enough to remember what it felt like to fall in love; and just old enough to realise that maybe, just maybe the whole thing wasn't as unusual or disgusting as some people would have you believe.

Any meeting is awkward, but you know at times like this, when he's standing right in front of you and you get that fluttery feeling in your gut, that the awkwardness is definitely worth it.

"Hello Gohan." That's all he says, but you're afraid that even that much might be enough for you to fall in love all over again.

You're vaguely aware that you're gazing at the floor, or just over his shoulder; anything to avoid looking in his eyes.

"Hello Piccolo," you answer, and you look up, and your eyes meet, and as you feared, you fall in love all over again.

There's a touch of sadness in his eyes, but maybe for one day the two of you can pretend that his sorrow isn't your fault.

The women are all too busy cooing over two-week-old Pan to notice the two of you, so for a while you can escape to somewhere quiet, ignore the rest of the baby shower, and pretend that it's the old days.

There's a secluded spot at the back of your house, and the two of you sneak back there while no-one is looking, find a comfortable place to sit, and just talk. Well; you do most of the talking and he just listens.

And it hurts so much to be that close to him, but you're so happy to just be able to spend any time with him at all that the pain doesn't matter. Somewhere along the line you ask Piccolo if he'd like to be Pan's babysitter every once in a while, and even though you know he hates children, he noncommittally shrugs, which is as good as a 'yes' coming from him.

For an hour or so everything is as perfect as is possible, and the two of you smile.

"Gohan! Lunch is ready!" a female voice calls out; and this picture of perfection shatters around you.

"Gohan!" Videl calls, rounding the corner of the house with baby Pan in her arms.

That horrible thing known as reality comes creeping back into your consciousness, and you realise that perfection has just ended.


The trip back to Earth was deathly quiet. Even though he didn't say anything it was obvious that Kakumbus blamed us for what had happened. I still hold that it was as much Sierra's, Vegeta's and Kakarot's relationships that led to the downfall of negotiations as it was ours.

Sierra and her royal entourage which included dozens of slaves, personal bodyguards and advisors, followed behind us in a ship ten times larger and more elegant than our own miniscule ship. We caught glimpses of it every now and again as it followed in our wake.

There was no sparring to make the trip quicker; no playful banter to ease the tension between the three of us, and before long I felt as though all I wanted to do was scream.


After a couple of days of silence you settled down in a corner and began meditating. It only took a couple of minutes of uneventful awkwardness between Kakumbus and me before I decided that I should crawl over to your little corner of the ship and join you.

Then I did something I hadn't done since I was ten. I curled up at your feet and rested my head in your lap. The contact startled you enough for your eyes to fly open, but then they closed again, and somehow you just knew what you were supposed to do next. One hand moved down very slowly and so hesitantly that you almost didn't finish the gesture, and rested on my shoulder. I needed this comfort; needed this simple, wordless reassurance that everything was going to be all right.

I think I smiled. For the first time in what seemed like years I felt completely and utterly content. I looked up at one stage to find Kakumbus staring at the two of us. He looked away as soon as my eyes met his.

I sighed and moved a little so that my head was resting more comfortably. For some reason you smiled as I did this. I don't really care about your reasons. Just the fact that you smiled was enough for me.

"Kakumbus," I called after I had indulged in a couple of moments of savouring your smile. "Do you think Vegeta will be angry with me?"

Kakumbus stayed silent; all his attention seemingly focussed on gazing out the back window of the ship at Sierra's monster of a vehicle.

"Kakumbus?" I called again, not sure if the elder Saiya-jin had heard me.

"I doubt it," he answered gruffly. "In fact I have a horrible feeling that he will be joyous about it. The negotiations with Sierra have always been rather difficult, mainly because Vegeta himself makes them so."

Kakumbus's eyebrows hardened in a rather uncharacteristic frown.

"He will probably love you and that blasted Namek of yours for giving him an excuse to delay his marriage for another ten years!"

He let out a strangled laugh, and I think that was the first time I had seen Kakumbus act as though he was human and not some sort of omniscient god.

"Ten years…" he muttered, facing me with a desperate, hopeless look I never would have associated with him. "Ten years; six possible wives and probably a hundred headaches; that's how much I've gone through to get to this stage, and when I finally find someone Vegeta will agree to marry, however grudgingly, you two come along and screw it all up!"

"I doubt the situation is as lost as you think," your voice emerged from above me. It startled me a little. I didn't think you would join in the conversation.

"Vegeta may find a way to please Sierra," you continued. "Or he may not. If he will be happier without her then your failure might be seen as a success, so stop whining about it."

Kakumbus stared at you in enraged shock.

"I used to believe that everything happens for a reason; that certain things will happen no matter how hard you try to change things," I told Kakumbus. "Maybe this is one of those situations; maybe Vegeta simply isn't destined to marry."

I didn't say it, but inside I was wondering; if that truly was the case, then why would he be married back in my own universe? Maybe it would bring some sort of hope to the situation though.

"Your head is full of childish fancies boy," Kakumbus snapped. "What's the point in getting up in the morning and working your hardest if it doesn't make any difference in the end? I did notice that you yourself said 'used to.' You don't even believe what you're saying."

"I said some things," I said, lifting my head off your lap. I just couldn't have a serious debate while I could feel the softness of your leg against my cheek. "And there was a time when I wondered about the reality of fate and destiny myself, and then…"

I glanced down at you, a million untold moments passing through my mind at a speed so fast I almost couldn't remember what it was I was supposed to be saying.

"Then I ended up here," I finished.

Kakumbus's mood still didn't change. With a sort of growling noise that clearly conveyed his annoyance at me, he turned around and stared back at Sierra's entourage once more.


When we finally arrived back on Earth, I was surprised to find that Vegeta and Kakarot were waiting for us near the landing pad.

"Well?" Vegeta snapped. His arms were folded across his chest, and he looked anything but pleased that we had returned.

Kakumbus seemed to hang his head in shame rather than bow, and although one of his knees did touch the ground in subservience, I chose to remain standing. I may have been working for Vegeta, but he was not my King.

"My Lord," the older Saiya-jin began. "I tried to keep the negotiations under control, but Gohan…"

"I don't want to hear excuses Kakumbus!" Vegeta roared; grabbing a handful of Kakumbus's shirt and pulling him to his feet. "Just tell me why the hell that witch is approaching my planet!"

"The negotiations failed," I explained, making my way down the ship's entrance ramp. "Sierra doesn't want to talk to Kakumbus and me any longer, so she's come here to speak with you herself."

"Damn witch," Vegeta muttered under his breath. "Kakumbus; prepare the servants for Sierra's arrival. Gohan, you help him. I'll hear the full story later when there is more time. Kakarot, come help me get ready."

I sighed, wondering why there should be so much fuss over a potential marriage that would be doomed before it had even started. The fact that my own relationship with you was now advancing at a steady pace seemed to give me clarity. Now that I didn't have to worry about hurting you I could see how much this was hurting Vegeta and Kakarot, and I realised that I couldn't just stand by and watch this drama unfold before me.

"King Vegeta!" I called out before he could leave. "If you hate Sierra so much then why are you even bothering?"

Vegeta froze for a second, but he didn't respond. One of Kakarot's arms came to rest on the King's shoulder and he whispered something into his ear. Vegeta shook his head, and the two walked off.

"Trust me!" I called after them. "You're making a mistake that you'll regret!"

There was no response from either of them, even though I know that they heard me.

"What the hell was that about?" Kakumbus snapped at me once he was sure that Vegeta and Kakarot couldn't hear us any more.

"I just…" to my surprise I found I was crying as I watched the two Saiya-jins walk out of sight. "I don't want him to make the same mistake I did."

I think that was the moment that it became my personal mission to make sure that Sierra didn't get what she wanted, partly because I didn't like the woman, and partly because I had seen my own relationship with you dissolve because of a similar situation and similar expectations. I wasn't going to sit back and watch Vegeta and Kakarot's relationship disappear as well.


Somehow we managed to organise everything. After only a few short hours of rushing around we managed to get a feast on the table, a luxurious room prepared and a smorgasbord of entertainment lined up.

Queen Sierra arrived in all her splendour, wearing a complex silk and satin dress that required three slaves, including Kestra, to walk behind her and make sure the elaborate train didn't catch on anything. After making a show of greeting each other, Vegeta and Sierra found a secluded part of the hall, hidden behind a row of greenery, where they could begin the negotiations in private. Kakarot followed close behind them as though he was connected to Vegeta like a shadow.

I hovered around them, trying to catch what little snippets of conversation I could. After a couple of minutes you abandoned your attempt to look as though you were helping the other servants with the food and came over to stand next to me. I guess its times like then that your sensitive hearing really comes in handy. We turned our back on the conversation so they wouldn't know we were listening in, and you repeated what they were saying in a way that made it appear that we were having a normal sort of conversation.

At first Sierra and Vegeta's meeting was all niceties; enquiries about each other's health, discussion of trading agreements and mutual friends and enemies, and then Sierra mentioned the name Kakarot. The conversation came to a complete stop.

"Vegeta just asked Kakarot to leave," you told me, although I hadn't heard a single murmur from behind the plants.

A couple of seconds later Kakarot walked past us. I pretended not to see that he was close to tears. He tried to hide it of course, and put on a face which seemed to tell the world that nothing was wrong; he was strong and he wouldn't let anyone think otherwise. I let a couple of seconds pass, before I decided to approach him.

"Stay here," I told you. "And let me know what they say about him. I'm going to talk to Kakarot."

You nodded, and then, with the slightest twitch at the side of your mouth, sent me something which might have been the beginnings of a smile. Something seemed to flutter inside my stomach, and I almost didn't go through with my plan because of a sudden new desire to hold you. I doubt you would have appreciated it though, tried my hardest to shake off the feeling and proceeded with my plan.

"Hey Kakarot!" I called out as I approached the man. It felt really strange not calling him Dad, despite the fact that I knew this man was nothing like my father. The older Saiya-jin turned around and gave me a half-hearted smile.

"Hello Gohan," he said, managing to cover his broken heart rather successfully. If I hadn't already known what was going on then I don't think I would have been able to tell how broken Kakarot was just by talking with the Saiya-jin warrior.

"You know something," I said, pretending I wasn't interested in anything more than a casual conversation. "I don't think we've really sat down and talked to one another since we met."

"No," Kakarot agreed. "I don't think we have." He looked around in confusion for a moment. "Where's that Namek of yours?"

"He's just doing something for me," I told him. It certainly wasn't a lie. "Is it that unusual to see us apart?"

"Definitely!" Kakarot laughed. "It's like he's your shadow or something!"

"Strange…" I commented. He had just given me the perfect opening. This was proving to be too easy. "I was just thinking the same thing about you and Vegeta…" I glanced over at where Vegeta and Sierra were talking. "I guess that's all about to change now, huh?"

A crack appeared in Kakarot's defences; allowing me to catch just a couple of moments of the broken hearted look that flashed over his face.

"If you ask me, I can't really see their relationship lasting," I told Kakarot, feeling a little guilty that I was taking advantage of him during what was obviously an emotional time for him. "Da…Kakarot…" I almost choked on the name, still not used to using it. If Kakarot noticed the slip of tongue then he didn't say anything about it. "I've been through something like this before, and I can tell you that it won't be worth it. If Vegeta is stupid enough to go ahead with this union then he will regret it forever."

I noticed that Kakarot was staring at Vegeta and Sierra's meeting area with a dazed and broken look on his face. I took a deep breath before I continued.

"There may come a time," I told Kakarot, "when Vegeta realises what a huge mistake he's made, and he'll want to come back to you. I know he will. So just wait for that time okay?"

Kakarot attempted to smile at me, but I knew that inside he was still crying and still broken, despite his dry cheeks and fake smiles. I think he wanted to say something to me, but Vegeta emerged from the alcove at that moment.

The King of the Saiya-jins looked both grief stricken and murderous. He stormed away from the Queen as fast as he possibly could. I glanced over at you, seeking information as to what had happened, but you just shook your head.

"Vegeta?" Kakarot asked gently, moving to comfort his lover. "What happened?"

"Leave me!" Vegeta yelled at Kakarot, pulling away from his grasp. "Just go away!"

Servants fled in every direction. No-one wanted to get in Vegeta's way if he was angry enough to yell at his beloved Kakarot. Vegeta powered up and flew out of the room, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake.

I glanced at Kakarot, who now had a dozen servants surrounding him, asking what they should do and if their King was going to be all right, before I decided that he would be fine, and moved over to talk to my own servant.

"What happened?" I asked you, careful to keep my voice low. You stayed silent and glanced to your left, subtly enough so that Queen Sierra, who I discovered was standing only a few metres away from us, wouldn't see the gesture. She smiled as she saw me staring at her, apparently not at all outraged or surprised when I neglected to bow.

Eventually the Queen moved on and you finally answered my question.

"Whatever you were planning," you whispered. "It's too late."

"What?" I was astounded.

"Kakumbus entered the conversation between Sierra and Vegeta not too long ago," you explained. "And he managed to convince the King that for the good of his people, Vegeta should sacrifice his own happiness."