Twenty Questions, Part 9: Nice Day for a White Collar Wedding

March, 2016

Karen clung to Jack's arm as they entered the church with Rosario. They stood off to the side in the entrance hall talking quietly as old friends and family members made no attempt to hide the fact that, yes, it was her they were pointing at and whispering about. Jack and Rosario's pep talk was cut short when the door on the opposite side of the hall flew open and a woman stormed out, seemingly on a mission. She was dressed impeccably and had obviously undergone numerous procedures to make her real age even god's best guess. Several girls in their mid-twenties in matching green dresses chased after her, trying to reel her in from whatever had set her off. Karen recognized the last girl out of the room – a little blonde who had frequented the manse almost twenty years earlier for countless play dates and sleepovers. The girl spotted Karen as well and waved, flashing her an excited smile before joining the others in their pursuit.

Karen untangled her arm from Jack's and excused herself, making her way across the hall and slipping through the door the women had exited from. Once inside and away from the chaos, Karen walked up behind the young woman seated at the vanity. "You remember the last time we were in this room?"

The girl looked up from the table and grinned as she spotted her in the mirror.


"Why are you marrying my daddy?"

Karen had forgotten that her soon-to-be stepdaughter was still in the otherwise empty room. The six year old girl was the extent of Karen's wedding party and was very good at blending into the background when she wanted to. Olivia was perched on the edge of a chair in the church's dressing room, kicking her feet in the air beneath her and clutching a small bouquet of white flowers.

"Is it because he buys you things?"

Karen froze in the middle of fastening one of her ironically exquisite Cartier earrings and stared at her stunned reflection in the mirror. "No," she answered and reached out for her other earring.

Silence hung in the room as Karen began applying her makeup. She worked slowly and methodically as she thought about Olivia's question. The girl appeared in the mirror behind Karen a moment later. "You look pretty."

Karen frowned. "Thanks, kid. So do you."

Olivia beamed and watched, enthralled, as Karen applied her mascara. The girl set her flowers neatly on the vanity and peered onto its surface, finally selecting Karen's hairbrush and turning away. Karen was about to snap at her to put it back when she felt the bristles rub against her scalp as the little girl gently brushed her hair.

The two worked in silence for a few minutes and Karen capped her lipstick before finally acknowledging Olivia. "Come here." Olivia stopped and rounded the stool. "C'mon." Karen snapped her fingers and held out her palm, in which the girl placed the brush before lowering her eyes to the carpet, expecting a reprimand. "Turn around." Karen drew circles in the air with the brush when Olivia didn't move. "Come on, come on. We can't be late."

Karen ushered Olivia in front of her and began quickly brushing her long red hair. She pinned up the sides so that long loose curls hung down her back and pulled a flower out of the bottom of her massive bouquet.

"It's because I love him," she said suddenly, eyes scrutinizing the flower, inspecting it for imperfections. Olivia furrowed her brow and met Karen's eyes in the mirror. "I'm marrying your father because I love him."

Olivia looked enlightened as Karen began pinning the flower in her hair. "That's good. Ow!"

"Sorry. One day you'll fall in love and get married too."

Olivia grimaced. "Boys are gross." Karen smiled slightly and finished securing the flower before selecting a second matching one from her bouquet. Olivia smiled as she admired herself in the mirror. "Will you do my hair then too?"

"If you want." Karen finished styling her hair the same way she had done Olivia's and stood, smoothing out her long dress. Karen picked up a bottle of her favorite Chanel perfume and sprayed some onto her wrist. "Spritz?" she offered, spraying some on Olivia as well. Karen rubbed her wrists together and dabbed a little perfume behind her ears, Olivia copying her moves exactly. They gathered up their flowers and Karen paused to look down at her future stepdaughter. "You ready to share your father, Curly?"

Olivia studied her for a moment before finally nodding. "Yeah."

"Good. 'Cause you didn't really have a choice." Karen lifted the hem of her dress off of the floor and started out of the room, Olivia right beside her.


"Here to do my hair? I'm marrying a gross boy and you promised." Olivia smirked at Karen in the mirror and handed her a brush over her shoulder.

Karen began to work on her hair as Olivia started on her makeup. "I saw your mother leave. How's that working out?" It was Karen's turn to smirk as Olivia groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Please, she's driving everyone insane. Especially dad. He was about ready to have her banned from the whole thing, but her name's on the invitation and she kicked in a few cents, so she's protected. Her idea of helping was to make all of the decisions for me and then have dad pay for them."

"Sounds like Kathy." Karen finished pinning Olivia's hair up, letting most of it flow down her back in long waves. "Flower," Karen requested, palm out. "Come on, come on." She snapped her fingers impatiently. "We can't be late." Olivia handed her a flower and Karen secured it to her hair. "Any Kathy decisions you disapprove of specifically?"

Olivia pursed her lips and thought this over as Karen set to work on her own hair. "Well, I'm not really a fan of those flower-bow thingys on the ends of the pews."

Karen nodded and finished pinning the matching flower in her hair. "Consider them gone. Your father'll probably knock them off trying to squeeze down the aisle anyway."

Olivia stood, pulling her dress out from under the vanity, and picked up a bottle of perfume. "Spritz?" she offered. Karen and Olivia both rubbed their wrists together and dabbed a bit behind each ear.

"I should go. See ya out there, Curly." Karen reached out to Olivia and fixed a wayward strand of hair that was sticking out before starting towards the door.

"Karen." She stopped and turned back, hand on the doorknob. "I'll share dad with you today."

Karen smiled ruefully. "Thanks, kid."


Karen clung to Jack's arm as they entered the reception hall with Rosario. After leaving the dressing room before the ceremony, Karen had marched down the center aisle to her seat in the second row, pointedly ripping the decorations off of the ends of the pews on her way. Had she not been in church, Kathy would have erupted a string of expletives that would surprise the most hardened criminal, truck driver, or sailor, but she settled instead on merely gawking at Karen as she stashed the flowers under her pew, turning and meeting Jack's stunned expression with a simple, "Liv doesn't want them."

Two hours later, Jack pried Karen's hand off of his arm and moved to the bar with Rosario, saying that Karen looked like she needed a drink – and fast. She nodded her agreement and let them go, watching the bustling reception from the doorway. A drink appeared in her sightline and she grabbed it gratefully, latching onto the arm at her side without turning to look at him.

"Thanks, honey."

"You're welcome."

Karen's eyes widened considerably and her head shot up. "Stanley!"

He smiled. "Come on. I'll show you to our table."

She gulped down half her drink in one swallow. "Our table?" she choked out.

"Yeah." Stan looked down at her as if she were crazy. "The Parents Table. It's like the Kids Table only we pay for everything and don't get to color."

"Listen, Stanley, I don't know if that's a very –."

"Well, well, Karen." She turned and met Kathy's steely gaze, hurrying to down the rest of her drink. "Where's your date, dear?"

"Over there," Karen replied pleasantly, stealing a glance at the bar. "Hitting on that busboy. Where's yours?"

Kathy's expressionless smile widened. "Oh, he couldn't make it. He's on a business trip. In … Aruba." Kathy's smile teetered on crumbling at this last piece of information, but she slid it back into place at the last minute. Not before Karen noticed, however.

"Ah, I see." Karen finally smiled herself. "And what is it your husband does again?"

"He's a … plastic surgeon." Kathy winced slightly and glanced down at the table to pick up her drink. When she returned, her smile was plastered back in place.

"Oh, you must be so proud. He must be really good if his clients demand his services in Aruba. You know, during spring break and all." Karen smiled encouragingly at Kathy before glancing up at Stan, who was doing his best to hold in his laughter.

"Yes, he's … quite talented."

Karen smiled sincerely, not-so-discreetly looking Kathy over. "I can see that."

Kathy glared at her and returned to her appetizer as Stan pulled Karen's chair out for her. "God, I missed you," he whispered as she sat down, unable to hide his amusement at her knack for being able to tear Kathy apart in the politest of ways.

A while later, as everyone at the Parents Table finished their extremely uncomfortable dinner, the DJ announced that the first dance was about to commence. He beckoned the newlyweds to the floor to kick off the evening, asking everyone else to join in as they wished. Couples began taking the floor and Karen turned to Jack when another hand appeared before her.

Jack smiled. "Go ahead, Kar. I'll get the next one." He turned to his right and clapped his hands once. "Rosebud! Let's kick it!"

Rosario shrugged. "Okay. But I'm requesting the Macarena next." She pulled herself to her feet and let Jack lead her away as Karen frowned up at Stan, his hand still hanging in the air before her.

"May I? Please don't make me dance with Kathy," he pleaded when Karen continued to watch him warily. His first wife leaned heavily on the opposite side of the table, scowling into her leftover shrimp cocktail. She ripped one of the crustaceans out of its shell and tossed the tail bitterly into the center of the table.

Karen finally sighed and stood, swatting his hand away. "Oh, alright. I had to listen to you beg enough while we were married, I don't need it now." Karen leveled a finger at his face as they stopped in the middle of the dance floor. "But don't you get fresh with me."

"Scout's honor." Stan crossed his heart and ended with the Boy Scout hand signal. He took her hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist as the music started.

They danced in silence for a long time, Karen staring blankly at his tie as Stan glanced around the room awkwardly, often catching his children stealing looks at the duo as they ignored each other. "Liar," Karen finally said and Stan snapped to attention.

"What?"

"You were never a Boy Scout."

Stan's panic subsided and he laughed. "Sorry."

Another heavy silence fell over the pair as Karen prayed for the song to be over soon. She felt Stan's hand grow increasingly clammy and he shifted uncomfortably, making it hard for Karen to ignore the familiar feeling of his other hand on the small of her back. Karen furrowed her brow and tried to distract herself by observing everyone else on the dance floor. She saw Jack dancing spiritedly with Rosario, dipping and twirling the poor woman nonstop, Olivia grinning as Steven whispered some sickly newlywed nothings in her ear, and an irritated Mason as he was forced to dance with his mother, who talked incessantly at him. Mason caught Karen staring at him and shot her an encouraging smile.

"I forgot what a surprisingly good dancer you are."

"I'm full of surprises," Stan replied with a grin, trying to lighten the mood.

Karen snorted a laugh. "Tell me about it." She was silent for a long moment before sighing violently. "How long are we going to do this?"

Stan shrugged. "I could dance with you forever."

"Damn it, Stanley!" she hissed. "You know that's not what I mean. How long are we going to pretend that everything's fine?"

He shrugged again. "I am fine."

"Liar," Karen spat and pushed him off of her. "I hadn't seen you for almost ten years and then one night I come home to a message from you, bringing all that stuff up again and making me have to start all over. You're not allowed to be fine!"

"I see. This isn't about us, this is about you. Would you rather I ignored your birthday completely?"

"Yes!"

"Liar," he snapped and Karen clamped her mouth shut, glaring at him. The couples dancing nearest them on the floor began to shift away, pretending not to notice the heated conversation. Olivia pried herself away from Steven and whispered something to the DJ, who nodded and began looking through his music library.

"I waited that long to call you because I wanted to get back on my feet first. I needed time to become fine with what happened between us, to work on getting over you. I'm not finished yet."

Karen stared at him for a long moment. "Neither am I," she whispered as the song ended and silence covered the hall.

The DJ began the next song and Karen turned around to return to the table. "Karen, please."

She stopped with her back to Stanley and groaned. "Ugh. This song. Nothing's 'unforgettable'," Karen said bitterly and began moving again as Nat King Cole's voice floated out of the speakers.

"Some things are."

Karen froze. "But it's so cliché," she decided.

"It wasn't when you chose it for our wedding."

Karen slowly turned around and peered at Stan, who hadn't moved an inch. "You remember that?"

"Of course." He held out his hand. "Please, Kar. Dance with me for three minutes and then you can ignore me for the rest of the night. Or for the rest of your life if you want. Three minutes, Karen. It's our song."

Karen watched him for a long time as he silently pleaded with her, reaching out for her. Finally, she took Stan's hand and let him pull her close to him. This dance was far less awkward as they swayed to the music, Karen's head on his chest.

"You think you're fine enough to talk to me on a somewhat regular basis?"

Karen lifted her head and looked up at him, eyebrows raised. "You want to be my friend?"

"No," Stan answered with a small smile, "but I'll take what I can get."

Karen stared at him in shock for a moment before erupting in laughter. "You've got a lot'a balls, Walker."

Stan winked at her. "You should know."

This only caused Karen to cackle even harder and she fell against him, her forehead leaning on Stan's chest as she laughed into his shirt. "I do, honey." Karen patted his arm sympathetically. "And it's nothing to be ashamed of."

Stan laughed and pulled Karen into a hug. He leaned his chin on the top of her head and began absentmindedly humming along with the song. Neither one noticed when Steven approached tentatively, clearing his throat. "Mrs., uh –. Karen?"

Karen turned and looked at him without raising her head from Stan's chest. "Yeah, honey?"

"I don't want to interrupt or anything … dad," he added hesitantly and Stan smiled down at him. "But the DJ just said that they're going to do the, uh, parent dance. Olivia's already over there with my father."

Steven said nothing else, but merely held his hand out to her with a hopeful smile as realization dawned on Karen. "Oh. Oh, but, honey, I'm not her mother."

The young man's blue eyes grinned. "Not the way Liv tells it."

Karen looked stricken and wavered for a moment before taking Steven's hand. "Oh, Kathy's just going to hate this," she boasted with a laugh.

"Yeah, maybe I'll give her a dance later," Steven replied with flippant sincerity.

"Kar?" Stan called as she began to walk away. "So?"

Karen searched his questioning face for a poignant moment before shrugging widely and glancing around her with her patented oblivious smile, a confused palm facing the ceiling. "So what?" she chirped. "I'll call you next week." Karen smirked at him one last time before turning to Steven. "Say, you're a cutie, Stevie. Curly picked a good one. I approve."

Stan wandered off the dance floor and sat down next to Mason, who was effectively working his way through a massive piece of cake. Stan watched Steven blush as Karen proceeded to charm her new ex-step-son-in-law. "She's gonna call me," Stan proudly announced.

Mason turned and looked at him, mouth full. "What are you in high school?"

Stan picked up a fork and took some of Mason's cake. "Feels like it."