Chapter 9

Raph's P.O.V.

"Please, please, please shoot Donnie," I say to the gun. I must be going crazy. I have been sitting on the ground while Donnie slowly walks over to me. He is smiling and all I want to do is wipe that smile off his face. I should probably run, but I don't feel like it. I have only one shot left and of course Donnie will dodge it. He is gaining on me.

A hockey puck flies across the room and hits Donnie. It had a bomb attached to it. Donnie jumps away but still gets flown across the room. Casey runs up to me.

"Still don't want my help," He said as he puts his hand out. I grab his hands and he helps me up.

"How did you know Donnie was mind controlled?" I ask.

"It was kinda obvious. Also I was spying on you."

Even though I hate to admit it, I'm glad he's here. Donnie runs toward us. I move out of his way while Casey swings his hockey stick at him. Donnie ducks under it. I need to find a good time to shoot Donnie. I can't just shoot randomly now.

Donnie grabs Casey's hockey stick out of his hands and smacks him with it. Casey falls to the ground. Well he did help a little. "Casey!" I shout. Donnie turns to me. I am starting to wish I asked April for help.

"Come on Donnie fight it. I know you're in there," I wait for Donnie to make the first move. Donnie runs toward me. He tries to punch me in the face, but I duck. He quickly takes his bo staff out and stabs me in the back of the shell. I fall on my face. The gun falls out of my hands. Gosh I need to have a better grip on that thing.

Before I can stand up, Donnie grabs the gun. He turns to me and smiles. All of a sudden I know what I have to do. I grab a ninja star and hide it in my hand. Donnie starts walking up to me with his electric stick thing and the gun is in his hand. When I know I can hit the gun, I throw the ninja star. It hits the power cell, and the gun explodes. Donnie flies, and hits the wall.

I quickly free Mikey and Leo. "I was worried when it took you a day to come back." Leo hugs me. I was unconscious for a day.

"So is Donnie good now?" Mikey asks.

"I hope so," I replied. We walk over to Donnie. He wakes up. "Hey Donnie, you alright."

"No," He puts his head down. He must be back to normal if he is talking. "I did so many…"

"No you didn't. You were mind controlled," Leo said.

"But I knew what I was doing. I just couldn't stop myself," Donnie said.

"Don't worry about it," Mikey helps Donnie up and we have a group hug.

"Ow Donnie you got a strong swing," Casey said rubbing his side.

Donnie chuckles. I had a feeling he meant to do that. "Sorry Casey."

"Come on guys. Lets go home," Leo said.

Donnie's P.O.V.

We enter the lair. Splinter comes out of the dojo. He smiles when he sees me. "Donatello you are alright."

"Yeah I'm fine," Wasn't that a lie. I'm not fine. I am doing awful. Everything I have done. My brothers tell me to not worry about it, but how can I?

"You don't seem fine," Master Splinter said.

I decide not to lie. "Well I'm not doing fine. I am doing awful. Everything I have done."

"Donnie just don't…"

"It's not that easy Leo," I shout at him. They haven't been mind controlled. They don't know what it's like to not be able to control your own body. "How can I let this go?"

"Donatello, come into the dojo with me," Splinter said.

"Hai sensei." I follow him into the dojo. I kneel in front of him.

"Donatello, I know this is hard to just let go, but it is the past," Splinter said.

"I know, but I just got un-mind controlled. Could we give it a day?" I ask.

"Will you be alright tonight?"

"Maybe. I'll just head to my lab and get things off my mind," I stand up, bow, then leave. Leo and Mikey must be in their rooms, but Raph is on the couch. I sit down next to him.

His leg was bandaged. He is hurt because of me. "Don't worry about it Donnie. I'm fine," Raph said realizing I was looking at his leg.

"I'm sorry about it."

"It's kinda my fault anyways. I'm the reason this all happened."

"No you're not. We would've met up with the gun at some point anyways," I walk to my lab. I sit down all tired. I lay my head down on the table, and some how fall asleep.-

I wake up hot and sweaty. Another nightmare. This one was the worst of maybe 5. I knew I couldn't get back to sleep, so I didn't bother trying. I look at the time, 5:30. Way later than I thought.

I walk out of my lab. The lights are on in the dojo. Leo must be up. He is always up at this time training. I don't feel like talking to anybody. I walk into the kitchen. I grab the last slice of pizza and sit on a chair. It's the past, but I still did it. There is nothing I can do about it.

I didn't cause so much harm. Did I? I don't remember much. All I remember was capturing Leo and Mikey and hurting Raph. I guess that will heal, but I feel like I did something else. They just aren't telling me. Why would they keep it from me?

I walk in the dojo. I want answers. "Leo I want to know everything that happened."

"Whoa Donnie you're up early," Leo stopped what he was doing.

"Tell me!" I shouted at him.

"Tell you what?"

"You know what. I want to know what happened when I was mind controlled."

"I thought you knew. Couldn't you see what you were doing, but not be able to control yourself."

"I know that I captured you and Mikey and hurt Raph,but there is more that I don't remember. What did I do?"

"That's it."

"No it's not." Leo started training again. He is keeping something from me. I can tell, but I'm getting nowhere with him.

I walk out of the lair. Mike is awake and on the couch. Leo might be able to keep it from me but not Mikey.

"Hey Mikey," I sit down on the couch next to him.

"Hey Donnie. You doing alright?" Mikey asked.

"Yeah I am… well actually."

"What Donnie? Tell me I can help you," Mikey puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I feel you guys are keeping things from me. It's not a good feeling. You know brothers tell each other everything. I don't know how I can feel better if I don't know everything I did. I..."

"...you bombed a bank and killed people," Mikey cuts me off. He puts his head into his hands. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before it's just Leo and Raph didn't want to tell you. Oh no I told you what will Raph and Leo say. Please don't tell them I told you."

I didn't respond. I killed people. No, I... I... I remember now. I remember everything. "Mikey thanks for telling me." I almost feel bad for Mikey. I used him to tell me what happened.

Raph walks into the room. "Good morning Raph." I say.

"What's for breakfast?" He yawns.

"Pizza!" Mikey shouts.

"We don't have anymore pizza," I said.

"Then let's get more. I'll call the pizza man," Mikey gets up and runs into the kitchen to call the pizza man.

I know Mikey doesn't want me to tell them that he told me, but I want to know why they didn't tell me. "Raph why didn't you tell me that I killed people."

"Who told you... Mikey!" Raph starts his why towards Mikey.

"Raph I made him. I knew you guys weren't telling me something."

Raph stops and looks at me. "We didn't tell you because you would never forgive yourself and we just want the old Donnie back."

"I want things to be back to normal, but that will take a while. I'm sorry Raph."

"I'm gonna wait for the pizza man," Mikey bursts out of the kitchen and runs out of the lair. Leo walks in the room.

"Mikey told Donnie," Raph says to Leo.

Leo looks over at me. "Donnie will you be alright?"

"No I'll never be fine and you guys know it." I sigh. "Who's knows though? Maybe sometime in the future I will forget about it, but it was only yesterday. I'm going to need a little bit more time."

"If you need help with anything, we're here to help," Leo said.

"Thank you."

"Pizzas here!" Mikey shouts. He runs into the lair carrying a pizza box in his hand.

"That was fast," Raph said sitting on the couch.

"Pizza man has to be fast if he wants to keep his loyal customer," Mikey said.

I reach for a slice of pizza. I look at all my brothers and smile. I should just forget about my past. That is the past. I shouldn't let it ruin my future.

Fin


Thanks for reading! :)