This chapter is just... I don't even know where to begin. Just know that it involves awkwardness (probably the most awkward conversation I've ever written), and then some angsty fluff. Or is it fluffy angst? Who even knows. I felt like it was necessary. Still, only one more chapter after this, plus the epilogue (you'll know what it's about by the time chapter 10 is up, hehe), so yay! We're almost done!


Much to Bickslow's surprise, there was a blonde waiting on a bench outside his last class for the day and with her nose in a book. It worked out great for Bickslow that Lucy was there and waiting for him for some reason, since he'd been planning on finding her to talk to her that afternoon anyway.

They hadn't really talked for a few days – not in person, anyway. It wasn't that out of the ordinary for them, though, since their timetables were almost opposites of each other. When Bickslow had a couple of hours off between classes or a complete day off, Lucy was either on her way to one of her own classes or had the busiest day of her entire week – and vice versa. Neither really liked it much, but they were in college, and even if they really, really liked each other, their education was just a little more important than their relationship.

Most of the time.

Most of their conversations those days were either just from when they occasionally passed each other or ran into each other on campus, usually in the library (which proved to be fun sometimes, until they got in trouble by a librarian for using the library's services incorrectly) or in any number of the university's coffee shops, although those were really only quick chats. The rest of the time, they just texted each other throughout the day, but that was really just Bickslow sending Lucy links to cat videos.

But Wednesday afternoon was the one time of the week where they both had no classes for the most part. Well, apart from the weekend, anyway. Lucy finished at 1 p.m., Bickslow finished at 1:30, and they had the entire afternoon off to do whatever it is they wanted to do. Most of the time it was studying in the library on the fourth floor, though, and that particular Wednesday, it wasn't really going to be any different, unfortunately. Bickslow had something else planned for that night with Lucy, too, but for the most part, it would just be their usual plan of being studious students together.

That was cute, wasn't it? Bickslow thought so. Gajeel disagreed.

Bickslow came up behind Lucy where she was sitting on the bench. She didn't know Bickslow's class had finished, she'd been too busy annotating the poetry book in her hands for an assignment due at the end of the semester. It was only when she felt someone's arms quickly wrap around her shoulders that she became aware of the world and chatter around her, though she was calming down just as quickly as she'd begun to panic when there was a kiss to her cheek from the idiot leaning their chin on her shoulder.

"Happy Halloween, Cosplayer," Bickslow chuckled lightly, pulling back quickly to avoid the hand that had no doubt been lifted just to shove his face away anyway. Sure, it would have been a disaster if the blonde had turned out to be someone other than his girlfriend, but he knew it hadn't been. He'd been ninety-nine percent sure of that fact.

"Damn it, Bickslow. Don't do that. You scared me half to death," Lucy said. Bickslow sat down beside her on the bench and she gave him the gentle shove to his shoulder he deserved. He was lucky she was trusting and knew his voice. "And happy birthday, too. I sent you a message this morning but you never replied…" And usually Bickslow was really good at responding, since most of the time it was him sending all of the messages anyway, but Lucy hadn't been able to help but be a little worried when she hadn't received a single message from him all day. Not because she'd been worried something had happened to him, though. Rather because she'd been paranoid about how things were with them.

She'd dated guys before, but with Bickslow, it was new territory. Things were different. Sort of.

Although, Lucy did have to admit she was quite as worried right then as she had been earlier in the day. She liked to think Bickslow would be a little more distant if things weren't as good as she hoped. Even when they'd only been dating for a couple of months, she cared about him immensely – more than he knew she did, at least – and considering he was one of the only people left in her life that she cared about so much, she didn't really want to lose him just yet. It was just a little selfish of her, she knew that, but she didn't care.

"Ah, yeah, sorry. I forgot to charge my phone last night and it was dead by the time I got up," Bickslow answered. "Gajeel woke me up this morning, thankfully." Well, he threw one of his smaller textbooks at him, but it woke him up nonetheless, and Bickslow had been thankful since he'd had an in-class test in his first lab of the day. He couldn't have missed that.

"Oh. Okay." So she had nothing to worry about… she hoped.

"So, lunch and then the library?" Bickslow asked as they stood from the bench.

Lucy shook her head. That was their usual Wednesday afternoon, but that day, she couldn't do it. "Not today, sorry," she sighed. "I only really came today to tell you that we can't do it today. I'm supposed to be helping set up the stupid decorations for the party the sorority is throwing tonight."

"Oh. Well, uh, that reminds me, anyway…"

"Hm?"

"I was wanting to see if you wanted to do something else tonight," Bickslow shrugged. "You know, like, with me, instead of going to one of the parties." It was probably the first time he'd ever wanted to skip a Halloween party, but that year, he'd really rather just enjoy a quieter night in for a change with his two favourite people and Game of Thrones.

Plus, it was a super great opportunity for his mum and girlfriend to start getting along. He was sure they already did since Lucy had been taking her classes for well over a year now and Olexa was Lucy's favourite professor, but Bickslow hadn't actually told his mother that one of her best students (according to her, anyway) was actually his girlfriend now. He just hadn't really been able to find a good time over the last two months to bring up the fact that his stalkerish tendencies had paid off.

"I mean, only if you want to," Bickslow added. "I just thought that maybe it would be nice, since it's my birthday, and you're my girlfriend…" He cleared his throat as Lucy only raised her eyebrows at him. "But if you want to go get drunk with a bunch of morons, sure. That's cool."

Lucy felt strangely flattered that Bickslow would rather spend his birthday with her rather than with his other friends. She couldn't deny that she would rather spend her night with Bickslow too, especially over getting drunk with a bunch of morons, as Bickslow had put it. That just wasn't her kind of thing, and Bickslow knew that. "I've still got to go and help set up for tonight, but sure. That does sound nice, I suppose," she smiled. "Anything specific you had planned then? We could go out for dinner somewhere if you like. That could be your birthday present since you refuse to let me get you anything." Really, though, was it too much for her to want to get her boyfriend something for his birthday? Apparently.

"I was planning on just getting food delivered, actually, but um, we could go out. If you wanted to, I mean," he mumbled.

Lucy shrugged. "It's your birthday. I'm fine either way, really. Delivered sounds good, too."

"Good, good. And, uh… I was really just planning on watching movies, too, by the way. Nothing fancy."

"That sounds great."

He glanced to the side and down to her as they walked and he wondered for a second if her enthusiasm right then was just because she felt like she had to like what he wanted to do that night. Bickslow knew it wasn't going to be all that spectacular – really, a Game of Thrones marathon because he was trying to turn his girlfriend into a fan of the series so she'd quit judging it too harshly, and take-out food, probably didn't even come close to being as exciting as a Halloween party. But the boring night in on his favourite day of the whole year was what he wanted. He just thought it would be nice to have Lucy there too. "You know," he began slowly. "You really don't have to come over if you don't want to. Or we really could go out for dinner somewhere and do something slightly less boring if—"

"No, no, it's okay," Lucy smiled again. "Boring is fine. But I still won't be done for a few hours at least anyway, so is that going to be a problem at all?"

Bickslow sighed and shook his head. If she said she was fine with boring, he'd stop being paranoid about it. "That's fine. You can come over around five thirty or something, if you're done then. Do you remember how to get there?"

She made a face. "To the dorms? Of course I do."

"Oh. No. I meant my mum's house. Sorry, forgot to mention that part."

"Your mum's house?"

He shrugged. "Quieter there. And Mum won't even be back until later anyway so the place will be empty."

"…Oh." Surely Bickslow couldn't mean that. She had to be overthinking things now; maybe all Bickslow wanted to do in the quiet house where they'd be completely alone, was really just watch movies, and not… other things.

Maybe.

Lucy wasn't sure how she felt about that, though, if Bickslow was actually hinting at how he'd really like to spend his birthday.

Regardless of that, she wasn't exactly going to back out of spending the evening with him now. She couldn't do that, because that would just make things awkward and she couldn't deal with awkward. Nodding, she smiled up at him and pulled her hand back from his – they'd reached the library, anyway, and she figured Bickslow was still going to do a little bit of study that afternoon anyway. "I think I remember where it is. I'll try to be there for five thirty, but charge your phone so I can call if you if I get lost, okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Bickslow chuckled, before quickly ducking down to press his lips to hers before they went their separate ways for the afternoon. "So I'll see you later then?"

"Yup. Don't have too much fun studying."

He only flashed a quick smirk over his shoulder. "Oh, you know I will."


Levy had miraculously managed to avoid help set up the tacky and distasteful Halloween decorations for the sorority's annual party that night by going to some kind of workshop for one of her classes. Honestly, Lucy had been jealous of her for a minute, just because for one, setting up strings of bats and wrapping orange and purple ribbon around the stair bannister was boring as all hell, and two, she had really needed her best friend's logical brain. Because, as Lucy knew it, she wasn't thinking straight at all.

She'd only spent the entire afternoon worrying about what she would do if it turned out Bickslow really did have some other plans for their night.

Just to make things worse, she was really just confused about it all, too. Lucy was still just a little surprised that Bickslow hadn't even tried getting her to sleep with him after their first date (well, their actual one, anyway), but she knew it was probably from just how many horrible dates she'd gone on before Bickslow that she just hadn't really expected much at all. But she knew Bickslow was different, too, and with Bickslow, she was more than glad to be surprised.

But then again, now that Lucy had spent the entire afternoon thinking about it, she couldn't help but feel a little offended that her boyfriend hadn't tried to get her into bed once over the last two months. Sure, she was mostly glad for it, because she really didn't want to be doing that – not yet, anyway – but did Bickslow's lack of trying to go further mean he didn't want to at all?

Assuming he did, though, which Lucy was going to assume because, you know, they were dating and she really liked to think that her boyfriend wasn't completely repulsed by the idea of having sex with her, just because of who her boyfriend actually was, what would happen when he found out that she didn't want to sleep with him yet? And really, the operative word was yet. She wasn't entirely opposed to the idea. She just wanted to wait if possible.

It was just that it was Bickslow, and she was just Lucy, and she had quite literally heard him fucking one of her closest friends, and there were all of those rumours (that were admittedly not rumours in most cases), and Lucy had no idea just what it was he saw in her that made him supposedly want to be with her.

But really, when Levy did get home, Lucy was on the verge of ripping her hair out. And she knew it was silly, but she really just needed her best friend to tell her she was overthinking things. So of course, the first thing Lucy did do once Levy had walked in through the door, was drag her friend up the decorated staircase and up to their room. The house was mostly done anyway, and it was getting closer to when she had been planning on getting ready too, so she would've had to stop helping out soon regardless.

"Lucy," Levy shrieked as she got pulled into their shared room. "What's going on? I just got home!"

Lucy closed and locked the door. "I know, but I just… I really need your advice on something, and I've been wanting to talk to you all afternoon about it, but you had that workshop and I just…"

"You need to calm down a little," Levy supplied.

"Well, yeah, but… after," Lucy replied. She waited until Levy had sat down at her desk and started unlacing her boots before she began again. "Okay, so, um… You know how it's Bickslow's birthday today, right?"

"Yes…"

"And, uh, you know how we've been dating for like, a couple of months now?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, you know that I really, really—"

"Lu, just get to the point already," Levy groaned.

Lucy quickly sat down on the end of her bed. Her knuckles almost went white as she gripped the hem of the skirt before running her hands over her knees nervously. "So Bickslow invited me over tonight, right?" she sad. "You know, said he was just going to get take-out delivered and watch movies, and that's perfect and all because, I mean, it's not like I'd rather be here tonight anyway."

Levy was just a little surprised Bickslow was opting to do that instead of doing all kinds of stupid things he wouldn't even remember in the morning, but she knew that that that wasn't the actual problem right then. "Okay…"

"But, he's planning on spending the night at his mother's house, I guess… And she won't be there until later, so it will just be us…"

Levy sighed. "Lucy, I don't get what you're trying to say. What's the problem? Are you worried about Professor Alma or something?" she asked.

"No, not really. Well, I don't think so, anyway." Though, now that Levy had brought it up, Lucy was just a little worried about Bickslow's mother. She knew that Olexa didn't actually know she was dating her son yet, and now Lucy was most definitely worried about what she'd think… Oh god, will it affect my grades?! Mentally shaking her head just to dislodge that strange thought – of course it won't affect my grades – she mumbled, "I'm just… I'm worried he wants to… you know."

Levy's eyebrows slowly rose as she watched her friend grow almost impossibly more embarrassed by the millisecond. It was just a little funny, too, but Levy wasn't exactly going to burst out into a fit of giggles right then. Oh no. The situation was far too… delicate, for that. "Is that a bad thing?" Levy asked cautiously.

"N-No! I mean, yes. Wait, I mean no. Oh god. I don't know." Levy sat down on the bed next to Lucy as she groaned into her hands, and she couldn't help but smile when Lucy mumbled, "I'm just overthinking things, right? I mean, he probably really does just want to watch movies…"

"Well, probably. He is the type to say exactly what he wants, too. But then again…"

Lucy's head snapped up. "Oh god. I'm really not overthinking this, am I? Levy! What am I going to do?!"

"First of all, you're going to calm down again," Levy said. Really, she didn't know why Lucy was so worried about it at all. "And second, you're only going to do whatever you want to do."

"But…"

Levy shook her head at Lucy. "Nope, no buts. I know how much you care about him, Lu, and I know he cares just as much about you. He wouldn't have spent nearly a year chasing after you otherwise. And, even if Bickslow was planning on doing something other than just watch his weird as hell movies, you know he wouldn't make you do something you don't want to do. You should know that better than anyone."

"I suppose," Lucy mumbled.

But that didn't really help Lucy decide what to do, either. So maybe she had been looking into it more than she should have been, or maybe she hadn't been. She just didn't know. She just figured it be something she'd have to decide on once she got there…

For now, though, one thing Lucy did know, was that she needed to go and have a shower. Mostly because she probably needed one, having not had one since the night before anyway, but just in case, too.


Lucy was worrying her bottom lip between her teeth as Bickslow sat back down on the lounge and placed the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table in front of them, even when they had only just finished dinner like twenty minutes earlier.

It was nearly 7 p.m., but Bickslow's mother had yet to get home, so it was still just the two of them there. They had yet to really do anything other than talk, though Lucy had been quieter and less talkative than usual since she'd been too lost in her own head; kiss, just a little bit; and eat. Bickslow hadn't really said anything about just what it was he wanted to do that night, which really didn't put her mind to ease over what she should be expecting to happen.

She was still as confused as ever. She didn't know if she was missing some kind of cue from him (because really, she was as oblivious as ever when it came to that, and she was aware of that too), or if he was waiting for her to do something, or if he really did just want to watch his goddamn movies. Lucy hoped it was the latter, but on the other side of things…

On the other side of things, Lucy was feeling strangely guilty all of a sudden. She really knew she shouldn't, but she did, because she had all of these scenarios in her head about how things would turn out that night. One in particular was about what would happen if it turned out Bickslow really did have other plans for the evening, and she just… couldn't. Or, wouldn't, perhaps. She'd been called frigid a few times before because she wouldn't have sex with someone – even in high school. And it had hurt, naturally, because she just wasn't as thick-skinned as others were, or at least she hadn't been. The last year alone had taught her some things, to say the least.

But she still worried about Bickslow and what he would think. She didn't really want Bickslow to judge her because of her choices, too. But it wasn't really like she was waiting for marriage or anything ridiculous like that, either. She'd just… been fine with waiting. It didn't help that literally every guy she had ever dated (somewhat serious or not) had been a grade A tool and she'd had absolutely no interest in ever sleeping with any of them.

But Bickslow… maybe.

Probably.

And really, it was just sex. Lucy knew she really was probably just overthinking it. It wasn't a big deal at all, and Lucy knew she was making a bigger deal of it than necessary. Besides, she was twenty now, and it wasn't like she could stay a virgin forever. Well… She could, but she didn't want to.

She figured she should probably just get it over and done with, if anything… Because she had a boyfriend now, one that she cared about more than she would admit to anyone but Levy of all people, and it really wasn't like she didn't want to ever have sex with anyone (ahem, Bickslow, really, because Bickslow wasn't a grade A tool most of the time, and she really did care about him). So maybe it was just best if she stopped worrying about whether or not a quiet night in on his birthday meant something else entirely from what he'd actually said, and just assumed Bickslow actually had wanted something else.

Really, the worst that could happen was that she'd embarrass herself. But Lucy realised she'd be doing that anyway regardless, because hello, virgin – and her boyfriend was most definitely not.

She turned to him beside her on the couch, just as he crossed his legs under him and dropped the remote back down onto the cushion. "Bickslow?"

"Hm?"

Lucy swallowed her nervousness and sat forward to quickly yet softly press her lips to Bickslow's, her hand light resting against his cheek as she felt him smile against her lips.

"What was that for?" he asked quietly. Though, it wasn't like he was complaining or anything… Oh no.

Lucy only shrugged, because really, she didn't exactly know what to say. Was she supposed to be like, flirting then, or something? She was terrible at flirting – Bickslow had already teased her about it so she'd just stopped trying altogether to be anything close to flirty. But she was just at a complete loss as for what to do next.

So she only kissed him again, and then somehow ended up sitting on his lap and with Bickslow's hands on her hips. Pulling back, Lucy willed herself to just cool and calm the hell down, but she knew mentally yelling at herself would do absolutely nothing for how uncomfortable she actually was. Levy's words were still stuck in her head, but she was really just trying to quieten and ignore them right then, just like how she was trying to ignore Bickslow strangely odd look he was giving her too.

"So, um… I don't really know how these things… work," Lucy mumbled. Where was the point of denying the fact that she absolutely had no idea what she was doing? She assumed Bickslow already knew she wasn't exactly the most experienced – hell, she had zero. She was probably saving herself some of the embarrassment by just admitting her lack of experience, too.

He raised his eyebrows at that. "Huh? What are you talking about?" Was he missing something?

Oh, did she really have to spell it out, too? "You know." Lucy avoided looking at him as she shrugged, only keeping her hands over his shoulders and continuing to idly thread her fingers through his hair – she really did like his hair though. "Since it's your birthday, and… And we've been together for a little while, and Prof—your mother isn't back yet, so…"

It was like a light bulb went off in his head. "Oh. Sex, right?"

She gave a small nod. "I just thought… Maybe…"

"Uh, no," Bickslow mumbled. Lucy was the one that was making the face then, and Bickslow was feeling a little awkward. "Not happening. Not tonight, at least, and definitely not here." Dorms, sure, assuming Gajeel would be gone for a while. But at his mother's house? Hell no. He was too scared of getting caught. He would rather die than have that happen.

"Oh. But… Isn't that why you wanted me here?"

"Wait, is that why you think you're here?"

Lucy shrugged. She'd thought that was why she was there… It seemed not, apparently.

"Oh. God, no." Bickslow could see how Lucy would think that, though. It was just a little farfetched the way he saw things, but sure, he could see it. He hadn't intended on making Lucy think that, though, because that wasn't what he wanted at all. Though, Bickslow was realising he probably could have picked his words better. "I just mean that's not why I invited you over."

"It's… It's not?"

Bickslow grimaced. "Nope... But, I mean, I'm not saying that I don't want to at all." He cleared his throat as he paused, wincing again. "I really just wanted to try and turn you into a Game of Thrones nerd."

"Oh." So the guy was literally choosing Game of Thrones over sex. Regardless of how she felt about that – which was relieved, strangely – she felt so horribly embarrassed. As expected, really.

"And besides," Bickslow continued. "Even if my mother wasn't actually due home soon, I'm pretty sure you and her both would kill me if I got you knocked up…" Nuh-uh. He didn't even want to risk that. Not even if Lucy was on some kind of birth control. And, since he had most definitely not been planning on them even having a conversation about them having sex (or not having it, really), he had most definitely not come prepared. God no.

Plus, there was the whole part where Lucy had complained that one time about guys only wanting to sleep with her, so Bickslow figured he should probably just try and do his best to make it as clear as possible that he wasn't there for that. He was there because he wanted to date her, loved doing so, and really, he already knew he loved her so he didn't really care all that much about whether or not they actually slept together.

Not really, anyway.

But he wasn't going to tell her that. He couldn't tell her that. Because saying 'I love you' after two months was literally the worst idea ever.

Maybe.

"Right, of course…" Lucy laughed awkwardly. It was really just to hide the fact that she wanted to suffocate herself just to make the awkwardness be over. She'd embarrassed herself so much that she was sure leaving right then would be the best idea. At least she could drink to forget her idiocy if she left.

When she did finally manage to climb off his lap though and sit on the lounge again – although there was a larger gap between them now – Bickslow couldn't help but find it a little amusing. He probably shouldn't, since he knew that she was embarrassed and he should most definitely not find his girlfriend's embarrassment entertaining or cute, but he just couldn't help himself for he could see just how relieved she was.

That was really what made it so amusing. Lucy was probably trying to hide it, but really, he knew.

So he quickly paused the first episode of the show – the intro was nearly over, so he'd have to go back since it was the best part of the entire thing anyway – and then leaned over to wrap his arms around her and keep her trapped for a moment, before kissing her cheek. She tensed, because she was worried what was happening now, and only quickly glanced to him before she managed to stutter, "W-Wait, Bickslow… You said—"

"I know you didn't really want to, by the way," he said. "Know you're glad I don't want to either, too."

"You… You do?"

"I'm not an idiot, you know. You're pretty easy to read most of the time."

Lucy shrugged as Bickslow sat back up again, and she pulled her knees to her chest. So Bickslow knew that, too. Awesome. She was pretty sure the guy knew absolutely everything, and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. "Do you… mind?" she mumbled. Because she still felt weirdly guilty. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to at all, I just… I don't want to yet."

It was kind of funny that she thought he cared about the fact she didn't want to have sex with him. Adorable, too. "Not one bit." And the actual sigh of relief it got from Lucy then only made him chuckle. He figured it was probably about time to change the subject though… Just to make her a little more comfortable, really. "But anyway," he began then. "Since you were too busy thinking the worst of me—"

Lucy only quickly reached for one of the small cushions beside her to fling it at his face. Now he's teasing her? Well… It did make her feel a little better about herself, truthfully, since she really had just assumed he wanted to sleep with her rather than just nerd-out.

"—You missed the start of the episode," he finished. "So, gotta go back now, since one does not simply miss the start of the pilot episode."

"…Is that a Lord of the Rings joke?"

"Oh! You've seen that?"

"I've seen the posts online."

Bickslow sighed. He had a lot of work to do. "I'll lend you the books. Read the books," he mumbled. "Oh, and… Since Mum will be back soon, if she goes to hug you, which she probably will… Just let it happen." Though really, he was only picturing it ending up something like the Voldemort and Draco hug from the last Harry Potter movie: so, so awkward.


As Lucy stared up at the ceiling, only listening to the sound of the rain outside the window right above the end of the bed, and her bed mate's quiet breathing beside her, she found herself wondering if she should just try and sneak away and out of the house, and return back to the painfully empty sorority house again. There were even less people staying on campus for winter break that time around, and even the house mother had only shown up once or twice since the semester had ended and everyone had packed to go home and spend the holidays with their families.

But it was the second year now where Lucy didn't get to do that. Levy had been on the verge of dragging Lucy back to Magnolia with her, but Lucy still hadn't wanted to impose on Levy. And even when Bickslow had come to her a few days after the anniversary of her father's death – where he'd shown up after one of his exams because he had known what day it was and he had really just wanted to be there for her again – and told her she was more than welcome to spend a few days over Christmas with him instead of staying in the sorority house again, she hadn't really wanted to accept it.

She had eventually though, and reluctantly. Although in the end she had been glad she'd eventually come around, especially since the Almas' version of Christmas was exactly what she'd needed to distract herself again. But the day after, on the 26th, she just felt like she didn't belong there. Not even close.

Levy had her family, Gajeel had his family, Bickslow had his mother, and Lucy just… had no one. And she knew it was probably never going to be any different. She didn't really want people to assume she couldn't be alone, either; that she was too weak to actually be on her own or something. She knew that Levy and Bickslow had just been trying to be kind, though, and she was thankful for it – especially for Bickslow, because she adored Olexa and she was really far too comfortable with Bickslow and his mother…

It was just that she didn't want to get too comfortable; she didn't want to start taking them for granted. If she left right then, before Bickslow woke up, she wouldn't be taking it all for granted. She would probably have to explain why she'd left so suddenly since she'd been there for the last three nights (it really wasn't as weird as she'd thought at first, surprisingly).

She would probably call him, or maybe just text him – tell him that she just wanted to be alone that day and not feel like a burden. But the last part, she'd keep to herself. Because she didn't want Bickslow to tell her otherwise and try and make her feel better about it.

Except before she could get up, having decided that leaving really probably was the best idea right then – something that would be difficult she realised, since she was between the wall and Bickslow anyway – she had an arm going around her middle and Bickslow curling around her at her side. That just made leaving so much more difficult.

"Cosplayer."

"I didn't know you were awake…" Lucy whispered.

"I'm always awake." Plus, it was a little after seven, and he could rarely sleep past then anyway, he'd gotten so used to getting up for horrible 8:30 a.m. lectures. Even then, he'd been awake for a little while, too – since Lucy had woken up, really – and when he'd felt her shift beside him again, he'd known that she was probably wanting to leave. He'd been expecting that, truthfully.

He didn't want her to, though. Not unless it was what she really wanted. But Bickslow knew why she'd want to do that, too. Lucy wasn't very good at hiding how she felt – whether or not she tried to with him, he wasn't sure, but that didn't really matter much to him either way. Regardless, though, he knew how she felt. He didn't understand it, but he knew. Because he knew what that day was to her, just like he'd known what one particular day a few weeks earlier had meant. And right then, he felt like there was something that she really needed to hear.

"I want you to know something though," he mumbled, sleep still in his voice as he nuzzled her cheek – sleepy cuddles were so nice, and he was planning on spending the rest of the day in bed, anyway. When Lucy remained silent, unsurprisingly, Bickslow softly said, "I just want you to know that you have me – for as long as you want me, anyway."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I know what you're thinking right now," Bickslow whispered. "I know that you think you're alone now"—he remembered that from the previous year—"but you're not. Because you have me. And even when you feel like you don't belong anywhere, at the very least, you're always going to be welcome here. With me. I just wanted you to know that."

And somewhere deep down he knew he probably shouldn't be saying that, since it had only been four months… But Bickslow knew how he felt about her, and Lucy knew how he felt, and he'd just wanted her to know that as long as things were like that, she wouldn't be alone. Because he'd be there.

It was times like that, though, that Lucy wondered just how Bickslow knew so much. She didn't give him enough credit, that was for sure. But right then, she was thankful for it, too. It wasn't what she'd expected to hear right then. Not even close. But, it had been what she'd needed to hear, she realised.

Lucy turned then, and she shuffled down until she had her head tucked under Bickslow's chin. "Bix?" she murmured, and he hummed in response to it. "I love you." And… she did. She had for a while, and she knew Bickslow loved her back – he'd basically blurted it out weeks earlier, but Lucy just hadn't been able to say it then. She'd been too scared to then, really.

But now… Now she could.

Maybe letting herself get too comfortable wasn't the worst idea.