Author's Note: Hey Seddie-shippers! So I'm going away to Atlantic City this weekend and I know I won't be able to update the next few days so I'm giving you guys another chapter already! This is for all my loyal readers!
To the people who are reading this but aren't reviewing... come on people! Do me a favor and review! I love getting reviews. The more reviews I get, the faster I update. Reviews give me incentive to write. SO STOP BEING LAZY AND REVIEW!
OH AND MY STORY HAS HAD OVER 1,OOO VISITORS! I don't know why but that gets me all excited heeh.
Once again, special thanks to all the people that added this story under their favorites and me under their favorite authors! You guys rockNow hope you all enjoy this chapter! (It's the longest chapter thus far.) Don't forget to review!
-Em
iRevelations
"About what Sam?" Melanie asked.
"Tell me what's going on. What was Freddie talking about? And whose engagement party was it that you went to where you got that drunk?" I asked, already knowing the answer. It was Freddie's and Carly's engagement party when all that happened. But I wanted to see if she would tell me the truth. I wanted to hear it from her.
"It's nothing Sam."
"Really Melanie?" I asked. I saw sadness emerge within her as she looked at me. I could tell she didn't want to lie to me. But she had to. I just didn't understand why. How was this going to protect me? Hiding the fact that the man who fathered my five year old daughter was marrying my best friend was not going to help me in any shape or form. I didn't understand what the chiz was going on in that Melanie brain of hers.
Melanie sighed. "A lot has happened here since you left."
"I get that Mel, but what is it that has been going on?"
"Just…" Mel started to say. She took a deep breath, "I don't know how to tell you this. I don't know where to start."
"Start from the beginning Mel."
"Lucy will be down in a few minutes and this conversation… and well this conversation is better if we had time to really talk it through." Melanie said. "After dinner we will go upstairs to Spencer's and we can talk there."
"I don't think that's a good idea Melanie." I said. "I don't want anyone else knowing that I'm here. Especially not Carly."
"Don't worry about Carly. She went toYakimatwo days ago and won't be back until next weekend."
"But Spencer…" I mumbled.
"I haven't known Spencer as long as you have but he is trustworthy. And didn't you always used to say that if there was anyone that you could always go to and talk to, it was him?"
"I guess you're right." I had to admit she was right. Spencer was always there for me. He didn't just treat me like his little sister's best friend but like I was his family too. No wonder when I was younger I had a miniature crush on him. It was just because he was always so sweet and understanding and helpful. But this time around I was worried. Right now my life was entangled with Carly's and I wasn't sure how he would react or what he would say or do but I trusted him.
Just than Lewbert buzzed in announcing that the Chinese food delivery guy was here. Melanie paid as I went upstairs to get Lucy. Lucy, Melanie and I had dinner and just talked. Lucy loved just talking to her auntie Mel. I was glad to see them bond. Lucy started to get really tired after dinner and asked me, "Mommy, how come I'm so tired already? It's barely 8:30."
I smiled. "Well it's been a long day. We had an the brunch this morning and not to mention the five hour flight."
"Yeah, I guess." Lucy said. "But it feels like the day was longer."
Melanie laughed at Lucy's comment and I couldn't help but smile too. "Well today was a rather long day for you." Melanie said. "If you were inNew York, it'd be around11:30right now."
"Huh?" Lucy looked confused.
"Well sweetie, the reason today seemed so much longer to you than regular days is because you added an extra three hours in your day." Melanie said.
"How is that possible?" Lucy asked, still confused.
"Well," I started, "Seattleis in a different time zone thanNew YorkcausingSeattle's time to be three hours behindNew York. So you know how we boarded the plane at4pminNew Yorkand got here at6pm. Well technically we got here at9pmNew Yorktime and boarded the plane at1pmSeattletime. The flight five hours long although time showed it to be two hours long. So you kind of got three addition hours in your day."
"Oh. I see. Sort of." Lucy said.
"You'll understand it more when you're a little older. But you should get to bed. If we were inNew York, you would've been in bed an hour ago and half ago." I told her.
"At tenNew Yorktime!" Lucy said smugly.
"You got it!" Melanie said excited.
"Of course I did. I am a smartypants after all." Lucy said with a huge grin on her face.
"Well miss. Smartypants, lets get you to bed." I said picking her up and taking her upstairs. Melanie and I tucked Lucy into bed and kissed her good night. "Lucy…"
"Hm?" Lucy said half asleep.
"Your auntie Mel and I are going upstairs to visit someone for a little while. We will be back soon though. Sleep tight." I said kissing her cheek again. I knew Lucy wouldn't wake up but I wanted to tell her where Melanie and I were going to be just in case she woke up and didn't find us. I asked Melanie to text Spencer first to make sure Freddie wasn't there at his place. Once we got the all clear, we went on the elevator that took us up toapartment 8-C.
I was nervous to get off the elevator… Melanie got out first and I heard Spencer's voice and a rather familiar female voice. But it wasn't Carly. Melanie told me to stay back and only come out when she shot me the signal. Melanie walked out of the elevator and the first thing she said was, "Hey, can you keep a secret?"
"Nope." I heard Spencer say. Melanie started walking back towards the elevator when I heard Spencer again. "Of course I can! Now tell me, tell me!"
"I rather not." Melanie said.
"Oh come on. I was just kidding." Spencer whined.
"Alright fine. But instead of telling you, I rather show you." Mel said as she signaled for me to enter. I walked out of the elevator to see Spencer and… Veronica? 'Wait, could it really be Veronica? Oh my God! The same Veronica that Spencer scared away with his tux shenanigans. Who he than scared away when he was pretending to be dead so his sculptures could sell for more money? Oh my God.' I thought. I couldn't believe she was here… with Spencer.
"Holy cow! Sam is that you!" Spencer nearly screamed. He rushed over and hugged me. "My have you changed and grown. You and Melanie don't even look all that same anymore."
"Hey Spencer." I said. "How have you been?"
His face light up. "I've been good. I'm just… wow… you're actually here. You're back!" Spencer said excitedly.
"Yeah I am. And seems like so is Veronica." I said, staring at Veronica who had a smile on her face.
"Sam," Veronica said as she walked over and hugged me, "It's been forever."
"Don't I know it. Wait… are you two back together?" I asked. They exchanged a look and raised their left hands where I saw that the two of them had wedding bands. "Oh my God! When did this happen?" I asked. I couldn't believe that Veronica and Spencer actually got married.
"Come. Sit. Let us talk." Spencer said as Veronica went to make us some lemonade. I looked around the apartment. The downstairs looked pretty much the same as it used to, everything was in the same place only there was some new furniture and new sculptures. The place was also cleaner. Other than that, everything was in the exact place it was six years ago.
"So…" I was growing impatient. I wanted to know how this happened. "Tell me everything."
"Well miss. Puckett, shouldn't you tell us everything before we tell you?" Spencer asked.
"You first." I said.
"Well about five years ago, when Carls, Gibby and Freddie were graduating, Veronica and I ran into each other at the graduation ceremony. Her cousin was graduating from Ridgeway too and we started to talk and she saw that I wasn't insane." Spencer started to laugh, "So we kept hanging out and then we started dating again. Then after about four years of dating, I popped the question last year and within two months we got married. Now we've been happily married for about eight months now. The end. Now about you. Tell us everything. Why'd you leave? Tell us!" Veronica handed us our glasses of lemonade and sat down.
"I head you left the August before your senior year. Alone. Why? What happened? And where did you go?" Veronica asked.
The smile that was on my face a few seconds ago vanished quickly as these questions arose. "You want to know the truth?" I asked. Spencer and Veronica nodded at the same time. "Okay… well here I go. It was late summer of 2012 when I left. In the middle of August, as you said Veronica. See the thing was that in early August I found out that I was two weeks pregnant." I saw the shock in Spencer's eyes.
"You mean… you a-a-and Freddie?" Spencer asked. I nodded.
"Apparently I got pregnant in middle July or whatever and I wanted to tell Freddie but I could never bring myself to do it. I didn't want to ruin his life and I didn't want to tell anyone and burden them with my secret. So I packed what I could and I left. I wrote Carly and Freddie a letter before I left and that was my goodbye to them."
My mind flash backed to about six years ago, when I was writing my goodbye letters.
My packed bags stood beside me as I was ready to leave. I checked off everything in my head to make sure I packed everything I needed. Once I made sure I had everything, I was just about to leave when I looked back at my almost empty room and I realized that I had to say my goodbyes. But I couldn't do it face to face. I sat down on the desk in my room and pulled out a few sheets of paper and a pen. I wanted to get the easiest letter out the way and I began to write.
Mom,
When you come back, you'll find almost all of my things gone and just this letter. I can't explain everything to you. Not right now. Things have just gotten so complicated and I just need to get away. I need to be on my own and figure my life out by myself. Don't think that you're the reason I'm leaving. You haven't always been the perfect mom but I know lately you've been trying your hardest to be a good mom and you've been doing great. This is about me. I would say goodbye but I couldn't bring myself to do it face to face so I left while you were out. Don't worry, I will contact you some day. Just give me time to figure my life out.
Yours truly,
Sam
That letter was the easy one. Now it was on to the harder ones. I knew that these two letters would break the hearts of the people I loved the most in the world but it was better than me leaving without any sort of goodbye.
Carls,
By the time you find this letter, I will be far gone. I can't explain to you why I left or where I'm going but all I can really say is that I had to leave. Life isn't always what it seems and there are many untold stories even about the people closest to your heart. Life just got really complicated. Too complicated and I couldn't deal. I just needed to leave. Think of as the best thing I could've done for myself. You won't understand this right now because I can't explain everything but just trust me. I'll really miss you Shay. You've been the best friend a girl could ever ask for. I wish I didn't have to leave like this but I do. I won't be able to face you and say goodbye. It will just break my heart. Alright mama is getting too sappy right now so let me just say I love you kid and I hope the best for you.
Love always,
Sam
I started to tear up as I finished my letter to Carly. Now on to the hardest letter. I didn't know how to write this and what to put in it. I just wanted to pretend this never happened and that I wasn't pregnant. But I was. And I had to leave. I couldn't stay back and destroy the life of the boy I love so much. I started to write, deciding that I would just write whatever my heart said and not think about it.
Freddork,
I know you're looking at this letter and going what the chiz… did Sam really write me a letter? Yeah, I did. This isn't something to say over text or email. It's more personal. Well actually I shouldn't be doing this in a letter either but I can't do it face to face. I'm sorry. So the deal is… well I'm leaving. I'm leaving Seattle and going wherever my heart takes me. I'm sorry I can't tell you where or why but let's just say that life has become just too complicated and I can't deal anymore. As for our relationship… well we are too young to be this serious anyways. So I guess me leaving is a good thing for us. And well most high school sweethearts don't make it anyways and well at least now we won't have to be awkward around each other or anything. Okay I'm lying. I'm not leaving because I want to break up or anything. I can't really explain this. It's just too hard. Stuff has happened. It has nothing to do with my mom or you guys. It's just me. I really can't explain this the way I want to. Freddifer, I love you. A lot. Maybe its cause I'm scared? That might be the reason. No okay that isn't it either. I don't understand why life brought on me what it did but I'm where I am and I can't be there. I hope you sort of get where I'm going with this. I love you. A lot. You're my first love. My one true love. I will always love you and I will always have a piece of you with me. Every moment we spent together was wonderful Benson. My life has meaning now thanks to you. You made everything perfect. I love you so much. I would like to say that once I have everything figured out I will come back but I can't give you false hope. Maybe this might be the last time you hear from me. I don't know yet. Whatever life has in store, that's what will happen. Take care of yourself. And promise me that you will always take care of Carly. She won't be able to cope with me leaving but I know that you all will be able to manage with time. Don't forget me Benson. I love you so much. Okay this letter got a lot cheesier than I expected to let me end it here before I make myself sound more suckish than I already do.
Oh and one more thing… please don't try to come looking for me.
Love you forever,
Your Blond Demon
Sam
I kissed Freddie's letter. I didn't have any lip gloss or lipstick on so the kiss was invisible but he'd know it was there. With that I grabbed my things and left my mom's letter on her bed. Then I headed over to BushwellPlaza and slipped Carly's letter under her door and Freddie's letter under his. Then I left. I didn't know if I would ever come back. I didn't know what would happen in life. I didn't know how I would survive. All I knew was that I had to leave and so I did.
I heard Spencer snap his fingers in front of my face and I snapped out of the past. "So you got pregnant and you wanted to hide it from everyone so you left. No goodbye. No nothing. Just two letters and you were gone?" Spencer asked.
"Yeah." I said looking to the floor. I felt ashamed. I knew the way I left wasn't right. Everyone here deserved a goodbye but I couldn't give it to them. Carly and Freddie used to email me the same way Melanie did, but Mel was the only one I contacted. Carly and Freddie would keep emailing me in hopes of a reply, but I never even read their emails. I always thought it would just take me back to the past and I had to live in the present. After a year Carly stopped emailing me. After two years Freddie stopped.
"So… you had a baby?" Veronica asked quietly.
"Yeah. She was supposed to be due onApril 15, 2013but she was premature and was born onFebruary 4, 2013." I answered.
"On Freddie's birthday." Spencer whispered. I nodded. My little angel was born on her daddy's birthday. She didn't want to wait to have her own birthday but wanted to share her daddy's birthday and so she came into the world two whole months before she was expected.
"She was so small when she was born. They kept her in an incubator for three weeks before I could hold her. They wanted to make sure she was healthy."
"Did you… keep her?" Veronica asked.
"Of course I did." I answered. I then told Spencer and Veronica about New York and how I finished high school a semester early so I graduated by January 2013 instead of June 2013. I told them everything from the moment I reachedNew York, to meeting Monica, to working for the Times paper and medical school. Spencer was shocked to hear I finished my first year of medical school. His jaw fell. He told me how proud of me he was for all that I achieved and he understood me not wanting to ruin Freddie's life. Then Spence asked why I came back today and I told him about everything from the brunch to the video chat with Freddie and Mel told him about her conversation with him.
"So she doesn't know?" Spence asked Melanie. She shook her head. I very well knew what was going on but I was still waiting for them to tell me. "So can we meet Lucy?" Spencer asked trying to feign a smile.
"Not until you tell me what's going on." I said getting angry.
"Sam… Carls and Freddie are getting… well… they're like… they are getting married." Spencer said with a sad look in his eyes. 'Finally!' I thought. 'Finally someone has the guts to tell me the truth.'
I wanted them to tell me more but I know they were expecting me to jump or something. "They are?" I asked. "How come? I mean like… since when have they fallen in love?"
"They haven't." Veronica said. I looked at her confused. I didn't understand what she meant.
"What Veronica means to say is that… well, the thing is that Freddie still loves you. He never stopped. He's always been waiting for you to come back. He always thought that you leaving was just a test of your love. A test that he would ace someday." Spencer started to say.
"STOP SAYING THAT CHIZ!" I nearly exploded. Spencer's words were ticking me off. He was lying to me. I knew it. Freddie didn't still love me. That was impossible! If Freddie did still love me, than he wouldn't be engaged to my best friend right now. "You're lying to me! I know you are! Freddie doesn't still love me. He's moved on. I get it. You don't have to lie to me to protect my feelings. I'm not a little teenager anymore Spence." I said, trying to hold back tears.
"I'm not lying to you to spare your feelings Sam. It's the truth." Spencer said.
"He's not lying Sam." Melanie and Veronica said in unison.
"Let me finish Sam, and you'll see that I'm not lying to make you feel better." Spencer said. "I want my little sister to be happy. You know I would do anything for Carly and I know that her marriage to Freddie would be just a compromise. Just mutual understanding. No love. Just two best friends that got married. And I definitely don't want that for my little sister. I want her to be with the one she loves, the one that loves her. But she loves someone else and Freddie still loves you."
"A compromise?" I asked. The three of them nodded. "But why?"
"Do you remember what you used to always say when it came to Carly's love life?" Spencer asked me. I thought hard about it then I understood what he was talking about.
"You mean how I always joked that some day she would fall in love with Gibby?" I asked.
Spencer nodded. "Yup. Exactly that. And you were 100% right. Carly did end up falling for Gibby and Gibby ended up falling for Carly too. They were so in love."
"Wait… rewind… when did Carly and Gibby fall for each other?" I asked. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was actually right. Carly ended up falling for Gibby.
"Well…" Spencer said, "Carly and Gibby started dating early 2012. Towards the end of your junior year." I couldn't believe my ears. 'Did Spencer just say early 2012! That can't be. I was still around than. That was before I got pregnant. Wait, what?' I thought.
"No. That can't be right." I said. "I was still around then. You must have the years mixed up."
"Nope. I know I'm right. You were still inSeattlewhen they started dating." Spencer said. Veronica poured me another glass of lemonade and sat back down next to Melanie.
"But she never toldme." I whispered.
"She never told any of us." Spencer said. "We actually found out after you left. Carly was so upset when you left and Gibby helped her through it. No one else was able to really get through to her. After that we started noticing the relationship between the two and we lured it out of them and finally they revealed that they were together."
"Oh… I see. So then what happened?" I asked.
"Well than Carls, Freddo and Gibby graduated high school. They stayed at home for college and Carly, Gibby, Freddie, Brad and Melanie all wentSeattleUniversitytogether. During their junior year of college Gibby proposed to Carly and the two were engaged."
"And then…?"
"And then Carly, Gibby, Brad and Melanie graduated." Spencer started to say.
"Wait… what about Freddie?" I asked.
"Oh Freddie was already working on his masters by that time. I thought you knew. Freddie finished college in two years instead of the normal four and then took a year to get his masters." Spencer said.
'Of course he did.' I thought. 'Typical nerd Freddie. Always has to be the smartest kid around. Finished four years of college in two. Jeeze.'
"Oh okay." I said. "So…?"
"So yeah… so after they graduated college, Carly started working as Freddie's secretary. Originally Freddie started at a lower rank of the company but within two years he became CEO of Pear Company. He also hired Brad to be a part of his finance team in the company." Spencer said. I couldn't believe it. Freddie as a CEO. He was basically on top of the food chain when it came to the company. But he did deserve it. He always worked hard.
"And what about Gibby?" I asked.
"Well he started to work for a public relations firm. And Carly and Gibby were still going strong until a few months ago." Veronica said.
"Well what happened?" I asked.
"Well a few months ago, Gibby's granddad got sick and then he passed away." Spencer said.
"Oh my God! Poor Gibby!"
"Yeah. It took a huge toll on him. He started to distance himself away from everyone and everything. He left toLos Angeleswhere his mom and Guppy were. His firm transferred him to their offices over there. And well after that it just went downhill. He started pushing Carly away." Spencer said. "At first he kept in touch, called, emailed, video chatted but than after two months or so, no one heard from him anymore. It's been a little over two months now since we heard from him. It drove Carly crazy."
"So… this all lead to Freddie and Carly getting engaged?"
"Well about a month ago, Veronica and I found out that we were going to become parents." Spencer said.
"Oh my God Spence! Congratulations!" I screamed. I hugged Spencer and then Veronica. "I am so happy for you guys!"
Veronica smiled, "Thanks."
Spencer smiled and then said, "Well Carly was happy at first but then she realized that I was moving on in life and she was stuck in her past hoping to hear from Gibby. She started to feel like she no longer had a place in my life. I told her that she always had a place here and didn't have to move out, she was my little sister and nothing would change that but she didn't accept that."
"And when I told her that she could move in with me, she said she didn't want to be a burden and stuff like that. She said that I too was moving on in life as my relationship with Brad was going strong and she was still stuck in her past." Melanie said.
"Then she started going into a depression. She felt like she had no place to go. Freddie saw how she was and he was able to relate. Carly was just spiraling down into this deep hole of depression. She felt alone, like she didn't have anyone. She just wanted Gibby to come back but there wasn't any sign of him coming back. And Freddie understood Carly's pain… he was going through the same thing. Like you, Gibby stopped all forms of contact… and the way Carly was waiting for Gibby, Freddie was still waiting for you. The two came to the conclusion that they were stuck in their past and the only way to move on was with each other." Spencer said. "At first they were just going to move in together but Carly didn't want to move in with him cause she felt it was wrong to live with a guy who isn't your family or husband and than they started discussing a contract marriage. They really didn't want to get married but it seemed like the best decision to them. The rest of us still disagree but then we were like at least they'd have each other and maybe that could help them come out of the slumps they were in. I just wanted you and Gibby to come back so Carls and Freddo could truly be happy but that didn't happen. So the two of them got engaged and here we are today."
"How come Carly didn't go looking for Gibby?" I asked.
"At first she wanted to give him time then it was because she didn't want to seem desperate. And when she started to go looking for him, she didn't know how to go about it. She tried to do it herself but failed. His firm wouldn't give out his information so she had nothing to work with. She didn't want to use Freddie's contacts to try to find him. You know Carly, never wanting to take from others." Spencer said. That was one thing I could agree with… Carly never would allow herself to take from others. Regardless of how much the other person had and how little she had. "And Freddie…" Spencer continued, "he waited for you. He didn't want to go against your wishes and go looking for him. And he also wanted to do as you asked him to and always be there for Carls."
"How did you know-"
Spencer cut me off, "How did I know that you asked him to look after her? Well he told me. He still tells me pretty much everything, you know."
'So I'm pretty much the reason the love of my life and my best friend are getting married!' I thought to myself. 'Just great!'
"Maybe now that you're back, Freddie can have his love back and his happiness back." Spencer said. "I still don't think he and Carly should be getting married. I rather see the two of them happy because they're happy without having to force it. And I know only you can make Freddie happy."
"Who said I want to be with Freddie?" I asked.
"It's obvious you still love him Sam." Veronica said.
"And how would you know that? You weren't even around when he and I were together."
"The way you've been looking at that old picture of you two since you got here." Veronica replied. That's when I realized that most of the time that I had spent in the Shay apartment, I was looking at this one picture of me and Freddie from back in the day when we were dating.
"I-I-I wasn't." I stuttered.
"If it's obvious to Veronica, than imagine how obvious it is to us that you still love him." Spencer said. Melanie nodded her head.
"Okay, say I do still love him. That won't fix anything. Carly needs him."
"But she wants Gibby." Melanie said.
"And you being back would be enough for her." Veronica added.
"I don't think so. Remember that Carly is going into this depression because she is stuck in the past, well maybe only Freddie can pull her out of it." I said. "I think it's best I go back and we pretend I was never here."
"Sam…" Spencer said.
"Spence…" I replied.
"Their marriage would just be a contract. A written understanding. No love. Just a compromise. Yes, they love each other as best friends but not the way a husband and wife love each other." Spencer said. I looked down at the floor. I didn't know what to say.
"Maybe Freddie is Carly's only chance of being happy again." I whispered.
"I don't think so. They deserve true love Sam and they aren't in love." Spencer said.
"I can't believe you're trying to talk me into breaking off this wedding." I exclaimed. "It's your little sister."
"I just want her to be happy. She isn't thinking straight and he is just doing whatever he thinks you would want him to do. But I know the two of them. I know this isn't how it should be." Spencer said.
"I just don't know." I said. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Just than there was a knock on the door.
It was Freddie. "Spencer, you in there?"
