For a man who had wished for metaphorical death on an above average basis this weekend, Gilbert Blythe was tremendously happy to be alive in this moment. Anne's arms wrapped around his neck and his hands were charting paths up and down her back. Perhaps Anne had intended a short embrace, but Gil seized and held his opportunity with twelve years of hope and desperation.
Now having lost track of time, the pair would have continued if not for a sudden ringing.
"Ahhh," Anne murmured, breaking the kiss and pulling her cellphone from her pocket.
Gil's eyes fell on her screen: an alarm titled "Meet Di at Hall" flashed on the display. The synapses in Gil's foggy mind began to fire again; today was Friday, tonight was Anne's rehearsal dinner, and that was to take place in the old Town Hall.
Reality broke over the couple. Though there was nothing he wanted less, Gil stepped back from Anne and put an appropriate distance between them again. Gil knew what just occurred between Anne and himself affected far more than just them. Whether he liked it or not, he couldn't deny that Roy was intrinsically involved in this, and at this very moment, Roy was preparing for an event that Gil was still not entirely sure was off. Anne held both Roy's and his mutually exclusive futures in her hands, and even though Gil desperately wished she would decide in his favor, he couldn't say her timing was impeccable. Food had been prepared, friends and family flown in, decorations stuffed in every corner.
But Anne was here. And she had kissed him.
The daylight was warming, and Gil knew the morning's clarity would soon be gone, but he hoped that Anne's clarity of mind would remain.
This time, he broke the silence.
"Anne, we probably should talk. As much as I'd like to continue…" Gil gave Anne a look that made her blush to the roots. "I think there's a lot to say at this point. Especially in light of…." Gil drifted off again, vaguely gesturing to her phone.
"Yes…. I suppose we should," Anne began. "But I'm not quite sure where to start."
"Are you still going to marry him, Anne?" Gil said, breathlessly. "I know you said you'd been blind… about us, but I know he means something to you. You agreed to marry him, and I don't want you to choose me as a last resort of cold feet. As much as it pains me, I'd let you walk away, pretend this never happened, and you could marry Roy."
As his speech went on, Gil watched Anne's emotions shadow her face, but he couldn't quite identify them. Two years had put him out of practice.
"You won't have to disappoint anyone," Gil said slowly. "I don't want you to throw away your future with Roy for something you're not sure you want."
Anne drew in a sharp breath.
"Gilbert Blythe," Anne said, closing the safe distance by one step. "The only people I care about disappointing are Marilla, Di, and you! I know I have given you no reason to be sure of me, but when I look back at my life since I met you, Gil, only then do I feel like I was really alive!"
Gil's knees went to jelly, and he could hardly believe the happiness Anne was offering up.
"I know this is an inopportune time for me to realize it, but I can't keep lying to myself, to Roy, to you!" Anne continued, growing more impassioned. "I have always loved you, and I am so sorry that I waited 'til the day before my wedding to tell you. You are the anchor in my life, and Gil, in the past two years, I have just felt so lost without you! I've been so foolish, and I have dragged your heart around and treated you like dirt. I've tried to get over you and have used Roy just as terribly."
Gil moved forward and pulled a nearly sobbing Anne into his arms.
"Shhh, Anne, it's okay," Gil soothed.
"It's the exact opposite of okay!" Anne cried. "I have used you all so horribly! Lied to everyone. Acted like it was all together, but in my heart, I knew I was falling apart. And here I am! The day before my wedding to a man I'm not in love with, pouring out my self-made troubles to the man I love but whose heart I spat on."
Anne's alarm rang again; the couple felt a force beyond their control pulling them apart. Whether either wanted to admit it, both had plenty of unfinished business to conduct before their relationship could progress.
"Anne," Gil began as softly as possible. "You should really go."
"I know," Anne murmured, her forehead against his chest.
"And whatever you need to do," Gil said, his breath uneven. "Please do it. Don't figure me into what's right for your life unless you want to."
Anne looked up at him and smiled. After so much pain and uncertainty, one smile from Anne was almost more than Gil could handle.
But then, Anne reached up and kissed him, and it was definitely more than he could take.
"I'll see you soon," Anne said over her shoulder as she walked towards the garden's gate.
"I certainly hope so," Gil smiled.
As he leaned against a tree in the silence of Hester Gray's Garden, Gil looked up at the sky and apologized for every time he had wished for death.
He wouldn't be here if his mantra for this weekend had been heeded.
And he wouldn't trade where he was now for anything.
And though a few worries still lingered, Gil walked home with all the hope in the world that Anne would return to him.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS! I've been in a pretty rough place in my life recently, and your reviews have been a such bright spot of encouragement for me. I hope each of you who read this story know how much I appreciate you all!
