My job was simple: moving paperwork around the Town Hall, answering phones, bringing delicacies for the officers. Rose explained everything I needed to know the first day, but it was actually quite easy. Still, that didn't mean there was a lack of work to be done. Rose and I were running around the building the whole day and barely had time to talk or eat lunch ourselves. At least I didn't have much time to think about Johanna being in the Capitol, because the exhaustion compelled me to sleep every night. Rose's soft touch helped too, when I had bad dreams.

When we returned to the flat, we showered quickly and started preparing dinner for us and the other two girls. At first I was just helping, because I didn't know anything about cooking, but after a while I started learning how to make some things myself. Baking pastries was my favorite type of cooking, and I became surprisingly good at it. Sometimes, I baked cookies or scones for the officers. For some reason, I felt like they would do a better job if they had decent food to eat with their coffees.

The other girls were very understanding while I was got used to my new life, and helped when I messed something up in the flat. Well, almost all of them. Rose and Willow -the nurse- were very kind and tried to help me as much as they could, but Nina -the soldier- was not happy with having me around. A lot of things about her reminded me of Johanna, so being around her wasn't easy for me either. She was the kind of girl Johanna was like when she was in public: rude, sarcastic, and shielded from everyone and everything. It got better when I learned to do more things by myself, and even though we never got to be friends really -I was still from the Capitol, the impersonation of everything she despised-, we managed to keep the relationship good enough to live through the war without killing each other.

I kept bumping into Alastair around the Town Hall. He worked at the Commander's office, and he looked too busy to leave his work, but he always stopped to talk to me. He was a really good friend to me. I didn't know why he was so interested in me. Perhaps it was because he had promised Johanna he would look after me and that didn't end when he got me out of the Capitol, or maybe he was waiting for the moment when the war would be too much for me to handle. A small part of me thought he wasn't convinced that Johanna was still alive, and he just felt sorry for me.

Some days, it almost felt like that was the only life I had ever known. It was so easy, letting go of every thought in my head and forget everything, all my worries, all my nightmares. But I couldn't do that; I couldn't forget Johanna, because it didn't matter how perfect that life felt, there was something missing. I could try and smile as much as I wanted, but that sadness was always there. That's why I had to find her. It didn't matter if I had had a good night and managed to keep the nightmares away or I had stayed up all night, every day I had to get up and do my job, do my part to get her back.

When Alastair rescued me, he had said District Seven was mostly under rebel control. There were some parts of the district that were still controlled by the Capitol, but since the main town was controlled by the rebels, it took less than a week to take control of the whole district. As for the rest of Panem, the rebels were winning every district one by one -except for District Two, I heard the battle was worst there, although I didn't know why. More news came in every day, but never the news I wanted to hear. And not knowing was slowly killing me.

Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night wanting to turn around and see Johanna sleeping next to me, like it had been just a dream, but when I opened my eyes reality was there to punch me right in the chest. Those were the nights when I cried, the only moments when I allowed myself to let my feelings out. Usually Rose would wake after a while and sit on the edge of my bed, holding my hand first, then holding me in her arms until I fell asleep again. She was younger than me and still she felt like the mother I never had.

I was intrigued by this ability she had, like a natural maternal instinct to help those who needed it. I asked Willow about it once, and she explained that Rose's mother had died giving birth to her little brother, so she took care of him. I remembered a photo Rose had on her part of the closet, one that showed her, a few years younger, her father and a little boy. Her little brother who had died at the Games.

I never looked at Rose with the same eyes after I figured that out. She had been through so much and still she cared about me. I was from the Capitol, I was responsible for her brother's death, maybe even for her mother's, given the way people was treated at the districts, but to Rose's eyes I was just a girl who needed help. She was so much stronger than me, better than me in so many ways. I promised myself that no matter what happened I would stay strong, because I owed it to Rose. She had put a huge effort in helping me; I couldn't just selfishly throw all that away because I was having a hard time. I would have to cope.

So I went on with my life, working, baking and waiting for any news. Every once in a while, I asked Alastair if he knew anything, but for some time, there was nothing. Still, that changed the day Peeta warned District Thirteen about the bombing. Alastair asked if I had a minute and walked with me to an empty hallway.

"Look, this isn't definitive, but I heard they are planning a rescue mission. I don't know when they are going to do it or if they will. There is a chance she's still alive and they can get her out, although you have to keep in mind that they'll probably take her to Thirteen first."

"I know. I don't really care, as long as she's safe."

I thanked him for telling me. I knew the Commander and other officers wouldn't have approved telling me so soon.

That afternoon, I went into the woods to find some fruit for a cake. I liked it there, because there was so much fresh air, and it was so different from the Capitol. I could picture myself living there with Johanna after the war. I wanted that to be my future, even if sometimes it felt like it was impossible.

I had been around the forest for less than half an hour when Alastair appeared. He looked strange without his uniform, like there was something out of place. He asked if I minded him being around. I didn't of course, I considered him a friend I could joke with and be a little more relaxed than usual.

"So, this is what you do when you're not getting coffee for us?"

"Sometimes. Is this what you do when you're not rescuing girls from the Capitol?" He laughed at my question and picked some berries from a bush, placing them in my bag. I didn't know why, but he looked somewhat distracted, like there was something else in his mind. I took the opportunity to look at him, given he was closer to me, but he was avoiding my gaze. "Is everything alright?"

He looked up at me and without saying anything he kissed me full on the lips. I was so surprised I gave a couple of steps backwards, only to find myself trapped between him and a tree. I regained control of my body and put my hands on his chest, forcing him to break the kiss. It didn't feel right, my lips were used to Johanna; I was in love with her and I didn't want to kiss anyone but her.

"Alastair what are you doing?!"

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't be around you anymore pretending I don't have these feelings for you, without you knowing the truth." Again, he wasn't looking at me; he was focused on the ground. I had to say something, but suddenly, I felt terrible about breaking his heart. He was my friend, but I couldn't lie to him.

"You, of all people, know how I feel about Johanna. I know you don't believe she's alive-" He tried to deny it, but I cut him off. I needed to get this sorted out as soon as possible. "Don't. I know you don't. But I do, and unless someone can confirm I'm wrong, I'll still believe that we'll be together again. I'm so sorry if I gave you the wrong idea."

I took my bag and headed back home before he could answer. I knew that if I gave him the chance to apologize, I would start feeling even guiltier than I already did. I had to run before he said that he fancied me or something worse.

After that incident, it took a while before Alastair talked to me again. I tried not to be mad at him for it, but it was hard to know that he might find out something about Johanna and he wouldn't tell me. Fortunately, not long after that, Commander Zeigh called me to his desk. I was scared about the news he could have, but Rose took my hand and accompanied me.

"You don't know this, but District Thirteen sent a rescue mission to the Capitol earlier today. I'm very happy to inform you that Johanna was found alive. She's a bit weak and in need of medical care, but the doctors said she should be fine."

I couldn't contain my happiness. As soon as I heard Johanna and alive in the same sentence I jumped into Rose's arms and hugged her so tight that for a moment I thought I would take all the air out of her lungs. The tears were already soaking my uniform, but I didn't care. Johanna was alive.

When Rose and I were preparing to leave, the Commander called me to his desk again.

"You must understand that when I said weak I didn't just mean physically. The Capitol tortured her and she'll need a lot of help. For now she'll stay at Thirteen, but when all this is over she'll come home and she'll need you. Just...be prepared for it."

I thanked him and went back to the flat with Rose. Of course I was worried about Johanna, but she was alive and they couldn't hurt her any more. I knew that I would do everything in my power to get her better. She would be fine, and I would feel complete again.