James' POV

The Masquerade Halloween ball was tonight, and Remus looked like he would be sick at any moment. He was pale, even more then he gets the night before the change, and he was sweating. He was trying to readjust his mask, for the sixth time, as if he would suddenly look different if he did moved it a little more to the right.

It was all black just like the rest of the Marauders. Sirius and I had decided that if it was a simple and all black we wouldn't to look stupid next to any of the girls. The masks could also hide the black eye that Sirius earned for yelling at Remus and nearly starting a fight for asking Courtney to the ball.

"How could you?" Sirius said, he didn't even closed the door before glaring over to Remus, "you get angry when anyone tries to get close to her, and you don't even care about her!" I stood up and tried to move Sirius back out the door.

He ignored me and kept yelling, "why cant you just let her be with someone who can show her a good time?" Oh, Sirius, what happens now is your fault. Remus stood at this point, and was standing as close to our furious friend as he could with my standing between them.

"You think you can show her a good time?" Remus said, his eyes where flashing gold—a sign on the wolf. "Your just doing this to be an arse to me, like you have been all year!" Sirius countered, stepping around me and directly in front of Remus.

Then Remus hit him, he actually said sorry for that one and surprisingly sounded like he meant it. Now, if he was sorry for, once again, decking his best friend or for hitting him hard enough to give him another black eye so soon after getting over the last one.

"If you keep hitting me people are going to think I'm trying to start a trend." It was funny, at the time, but I really think Remus is loosing it over this girl. She doesn't really talk to any of us and she's always looking at him out of the corner of her eye and he never seems to notice.

I think that when she hugged him, she just wanted to touch him. Like he looks for excuses to touch her.

He was fiddling with his bow-tie now, still unable to tie it, while we were walking into the entrance hall. I saw Courtney before either Remus or Sirius did. She was wearing an off white gown, the bottom flowed with black lace, there was a small design on the center of the bust and black pearls coming out from the center and draping over her shoulders. Her hair was curled at the end and framing her face. Her mask was black lace and made her eyes look brighter. The red on her lips seemed to be the only real color in her outfit.

Courtney is pretty, there is no denying that. I just don't see her with the same golden light that Remus seems to.

Thinking of Remus, I think I can hear him panting. He was still messing with the tie when she spotted us, his hand's shaking a bit when she started to move through the crowd. I decided that moving away as fast as I could would be my best bet. I had to find Peter and Sirius anyhow, we're going stag (no pun intended) so we need to get a game plan down.

I saw her tying the bow while laughing at something he was saying but still avoiding his eyes. She looked almost as nervous as he did, but I couldn't see panic in her eyes, like I could his. I guess he has something more to be afraid of, he could hurt her if she was stupid enough to leave the castle on a full moon.

I know that's his biggest fear, hurting the people he cares about because he can't control himself. It's why it was so hard on him when we were younger and his temper was shorter when it came to the subject of why he was always sick.

Given enough time I really believe that they'll be together. Unless she finds out. She may have grown up around one werewolf, but she's never gotten that close to them. There is no way she could fully understand that they aren't like most men. None of us are anymore. We've been surrounded by the fear since third year; fear of him hurting us, fear of him hurting himself, fear of what people would do if they knew.

I hope she can handle it.

I have been watching them all night, or at least I meant to. I wanted to be there in case Remus needed me. He seemed to be doing fine, but it didn't completely ease my discomfort, or it wouldn't until I knew he'd be okay with being completely alone with her.

That's what I meant to happen. I MEANT to be a good friend and watch his back while he talked to the girl of his dreams, but instead I watched Lilly Evens. She was dancing with a Hufflepuff boy, and it made my blood boil. So much so I was getting hot under my shirt and needed to leave the hall and get some air.

Which is when I noticed that Remus and Courtney weren't in the hall anymore. They had been sitting at our table for over an hour just laughing and talking with each other. They looked like the world didn't exist beyond them. Beyond that table, they're hands barely touching over the cloth, but the world did exist. Everyone could see, if they cared to look into both of their eyes, pure joy.

I want this.

I want a girl to look at me the way Courtney looks at Remus, like he is the only man on Earth. The same way most girls look at Sirius. But that's a lie, I don't want just any girl to look at me like that. I want Lilly to have that look. I want her to see me as if the sun rises and sets in my eyes.

The way they look at each other.

Only, I want Lilly and I to know about it. To know how the other feels. To know that we love each other beyond everything, no matter what I may be. I don't want to feel like Remus feels, like he's pulling on flower petals trying to figure her feelings out.

I saw them through a window, they were on the steps out side the entrance doors. She was leaning against a pillar, looking up at the stars, and he was standing next to her. His hand was on her lower back (I wonder how much courage it took him to do that?). When she looked at him again she was smiling, her eyes were bright in the light. That's the look. The one were you could tell she was exactly where she wanted to be. Then she said something and he stared to laugh.

"What are you looking at?" I know that voice it was soft, sweet and as always, slightly annoyed.

"Remus and Courtney." I don't turn away when I answer, I cant look at her right now. I understand the way Remus feels when he looks at Courtney. Or if you want to get technical, he now understands how I feel when I look at Lilly.

"They aren't meant to be outside" she crossed her arms over he chest and sighed heavily while she spoke.

"But look at them, they are completely oblivious to each other." I turned to her and could see her skin raised with little bumps, "they're meant for each other."

"Doesn't mean they're meant to be outside."

"For a girl Lilly, you just don't get it" I shrugged off my jacket and handed it to her and she surprised me when she took it and swept it over her shoulders, still watching them. So I turned back to do the same.

"Are they together now?" Her voice was at my ear and I shrugged. I couldn't talk and all the words I wanted to say were caught in my throat.

"No," I said after a few minutes "they don't see it." I turned to her while I said it and looked at her but she kept her eyes glued to the scene playing out on the steps. They weren't speaking anymore just smiling at each other. She was looking up at him, and he down at her.

"We shouldn't watch this" she said while turning to me, a faint blush across her cheeks. It made her freckles stand out more across her face.

She stepped forward, her movements fluid and in true Lilly fashion, determined.

This is what I had been waiting for, isn't it? The moment that she would kiss me. The moment that after years of pining I would finally feel her lips against my own. When she did press her lips to mine, I put the same pressure back and tried to keep my hands at my sides.

But I was so nervous over whether or not she knew what she was doing, I couldn't give it my all.

Courtney's POV

I have been trying not to smile too much at breakfast. While the girls around me cooed about how sweet, how nice, how...good, their dates where. I tired not to smile. I tried not to show my udder excitement at the events that happened last night.

"You look lovely." I blushed, and turned to face him completely and said, "you do as well." He looked down at me, his eyes caught mine and I couldn't turn away. I should turn away, I shouldn't let this happen. I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself.

I lost all hope of doing so when he placed his hand on my cheek and ran his thumb over my bottom lip. I leaned into the touch, I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help it. My body was working of its own accord, doing exactly what it's wanted to do for over a year. It was ignoring my brain, ignoring any logical thought of putting two teenagers, two teenagers like us, in a situation were we could loose control.

My body decided that moving closer to him, that turning my face upwards and letting my eyes slip closed as his lips pressed against mine was the best thing to do. When I felt my skin catch on fire from it, I was no longer angry at my body. It knew exactly what it was doing.

"So, Courtney didn't get in till late," Rachel said while talking to Kelly, even though her eyes were on me. "I'm sure she had a great time alone with Remus." Rachel had a smirk on her lips while she played with the goblet she'd been drinking from. I rolled my eyes in response and looked past her, deciding that watching the grounds from the window was the better option.

"So, how was he?" She, apparently, did not agree with me on this. So I turned to her, let my eyes look directly into hers. I could feel the prick of annoyance in my stomach.

"Not all of us are whores, Rachel." I almost smirked at her reaction, even if it wasn't one hundred percent true. Rachel is not a whore, no. She doesn't actually get paid to fuck every boy on a Quidditch team, she does so free of charge.

In her defense, they are quite attractive.

"Excuse me?" She sad while laughing, but I can see her eyes darken ever so slightly while she stands. She was going to say something and attempt to make such an exit that I'll go crazy trying to come up with an appropriate come-back. This is how she fights, offhanded but without actually breaking a nail. The girl could have been in Slytherin if she was in any way subtle about her word bombs.

"We all know that your mother is a hippie slut," she sneered down at me which was not a very good look on her. Another reason she wouldn't do well in Slytherin. She continued, "and your just like her." Then she turned away and started to the exit. I can feel the part of my father that's in my blood come alive, I've been angry before but I've had enough of her snide comments about my mother and myself.

I stood, I didn't feel myself doing so as much as my instincts were taking over. and I called after her, and she turned and walked back to me. The smirk was still on her lips.

She thinks she's beaten me.

I'm not really sure what happened next, I feel as if I am no longer in complete control of my body. I didn't really want to leap over the table and land on her.

But I did enjoy it when I hit her, every time my fist collided with her perfect skin I felt happy. Giddy, almost. I think I can hear Kelly screaming through the fog, and I know I can hear a few other sounds but I cant really make them out.

I can hear Rachel screaming just as clearly as I can feel her hands are trying to grab my hair and scratch at me like a cat. So I hit her again, this time I can feel something break beneath my knuckles.

Now, while coming out of the haze and regaining control, I'm being held by the waist. I'm not calm, but I don't struggle.

I don't want to slam this persons head in until they cant see straight. No, I have nothing against this person, they did exactly what they should have done. When I can see straight again, Rachel is holding her nose and there's blood falling from between her fingers and landing on her robes. I don't want to, but I'm not fully in control yet, so I start to laugh.

Not so much at her pain. Just the fact that she stool looks angry and smug as if she still thinks she's won something.

I'd like to see my mother do that. The woman may be loud, but she cant throw a punch to save her life.

"Miss. Rose!" I was still snickering when I heard the teachers rushing to me, all looking from Rachel to me then back to Rachel. "What happened here?" I can't help it, I start laughing again.

Well, I hit her, a few times. Shes a stupid little bitch and deserved it. If she wants to talk shit about me, fine, but she should be able to handle what happens when shes does so.

"Lapse of judgment" I responded while trying to calm my laughter, it's a simple statement that may have meant more if I wasn't in near hysterics from the "lapse".

"To the headmaster." I stepped away from who was holding me and walked as calmly as I could out of the Great Hall.

I could hear the whispers start almost immediately after I stepped into the hallway.

Remus' POV

I hadn't even told James about what happened the night before, I haven't had a chance. Sirius had started telling us the story, complete with graphic details, about his night with a sixth year Hufflepuff whose name he never learned. Peter was the only one who seemed to care much about it but that never stopped Sirius.

Then I smelt something that made my wolf come alive. Anger. Wolf like anger coming off of someone in waves. Sirius smelt it too because we both stopped and looked at the Ravenclaw table. There, one of the girls who had confronted Courtney in the library was looking down at her with her face twisted and almost resembling a Slytherin.

Then she started walking away and when Courtney stood the scent got stronger. The wolf was trying to claw it's way out, responding to her anger as if responding to another wolf. When the girl was back in front of her she pounced. Her movements fluid as she knocked her to the ground and started to hit her.

I think I heard her growl.

Her attack only got worse when the girl tried to pull her hair and scratch at her face, now she was protecting herself. Some seventh year grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off of the bleeding girl after a loud crack was heard. She was breathing heavy but not fighting against the person who grabbed her.

When she looked at her victim she started laughing, only calming down when she heard the teachers rushing over. I'm not sure why it took so long for them to get to her. Maybe they're not used to students getting into actual fist fights? Maybe they're not used to quiet Ravenclaw girls being the ones in a fight.

Either way, when asked what happened she started laughing again and responded while still chuckling. The rumors started flying as soon as she was out of the door.

It's not the fight that surprised me, it was her eyes when she attacked. She looked like an angry animal defending her territory. Her eyes were blazed and blackened. She looked very nearly wild.

Is it wrong I found it really hot?

"She looked like you," Sirius said, still staring at the place she was standing a minute before, "during the change." I turned to him and took in the smirk he had as he said it. It looked like he was proud of himself for figuring something out. I would have asked him about it but I was still annoyed with him and the whole "show her a good time" statement he made.

"Yeah, her eyes," James joined in, "They did look like yours do. It was scary." James said with his head turned away from me, he was thinking.

I'm not sure exactly what happened between him and Lilly but something did happen. She was actually being civil to him.

"She can fight though" Peter said while he started to flip through a magazine, not stopping at anything. I didn't really want any of them talking about it, her anger did something, forced me to feel it with her. Her anger was pure and built up, like she was waiting for the moment she could let go, so I'm sure her reasons where completely valid. I'm sure she needed to do it.

It doesn't matter what happened this morning, my mind keeps floating back to last night. When we were on the steps and we were looking at the moon, watching as it moved ever so slightly.

But that's all a blur, the only part I remember vividly is the kiss.

Her lips on mine and her arms around my neck while mine were on her waist.

I remember her eyes, they were as bright as the stars last night when they were looking into my own.

That's what I'm thinking about while they talk about the fight. When they speak about how she broke Rachel's nose, I think about how her fingers curled in my hair. When they mention how she laughed about it, almost menacingly, I think about how her lips curled into a smile while still pressed against mine. They're talking about her jumping over the table, I'm thinking about how I wouldn't mind her jumping on top of me.

Maybe she does like me?

No, that's crazy...

It was a spur of the moment thing. That's all.

A/N: A few things wont change about this note. 1. I'm going to leave my Thank You too rarestlove27 for the idea of using Jared Padaleki for Remus on my banner. 2. It is still linked on my profile, and you can still go look at it.

My profile is a wonderful place to get information on what I'm doing (writing wise) why I wont be updating for any reason and more detailed summaries of my stories.