Ruby's car stalled when she dropped off Emma in front of the house that night. She gave out a curse and smacked the steering wheel.

"I just PAID for repairs! This is why I'll never get out of this stupid, dinky, boondock town. My freaking car is made of trash!"

"Its probably the battery-" Emma pointed to the console. "I think Mary Margaret has some jumper cables, we'll go get them and connect it to the bug." Emma said. "Come on up. But we have to be quiet so we don't wake Mary-Margaret."

Emma and Ruby heard the wild clomping around before Emma got the apartment door open, and the tinny dance beat of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" on the radio . Mary Margaret was wobbling behind the counter looking weirdly tall and suddenly red-faced as Emma and Ruby came through the door. There were a couple more (a lot less loud) clomps and Mary Margaret walked out from their kitchen area wearing Emma's stripper shoes.

"Hi guys!" Mary Margaret looked thoroughly ashamed. "Emma I'm sooo sorry, I found these under the couch when I was vacuuming and-" she looked from Emma to Ruby. Emma was in her leather jacket, a giant t-shirt, thong and flip flops, the rest of her clothes in a bag. Ruby had on a bikini top, a cropped fur top and a microscopic miniskirt she'd put on backwards.

"I just thought they were so cool and…wow, you two look…fancy." She stepped out of one shoe and held it up, looking from the stripper heel to Emma. Emma had recently gotten new ones with gold accents, and, she realized, left her old ones under the couch yesterday night when she came home from her late shift, shucked them off and watched some TV on the couch before going to bed.

"Waaaaait a minute." Snow said. "Are you guys…are you guys go-go dancers?"

"No girl, we're strippers." Ruby said, hands on her hip. "Tits and bits, the full nine yards, you know what I mean?"

Emma covered her face with her hands.

Mary Margaret was actually pretty cool about it. Emma felt properly ashamed she'd kept it a secret in the first place when she realized how okay and accepting Mary-Margaret was about it. She was so incredibly curious, too, like Emma and Ruby were superheroes.

"So they can't touch you but you can touch them. Can you kiss them?" Snow was bundled up now, knees under her chin, eyes wide open, grilling them intensely. Everyone had a mug of cocoa, Ruby had been hanging out with them for almost an hour, clearly enjoying flaunting her bad girl street cred and playing the expert to not just one but two other ladies.

"Nope. That's a BIG no-no. You never kiss them, they never kiss you. That crosses the line from fantasy to reality."

"But you can kiss regulars?" Mary Margaret, in her school teacher way, had been keeping mental notes, trying to keep track of lingo.

Emma looked to Ruby, uncertain.

"Nope." Ruby shook her head, already waving her hand. "Doesn't matter if they're a regular. A regular is still just paying for the fantasy. It's not a real relationship. Kissing makes it real."


"Do I smell apple pie?" Ruby slammed her locker shut, sniffing the air. Emma felt her face go red.

"That's me. Demeter scent library." Emma said, peeling off her tight jeans to reveal red booty shorts. Over blue panties. Over much smaller white, lacy panties. Over a gold thong.

"Or my donuts!" a small African American dancer called, cracking open a tupperware container of baked goods and brushing aside deodorant sticks, body spray bottles and empty red drink cups to clear a space. She had a small silver clip in her hair shaped like a tiara and was in a camouflage colored bikini. "Home made!"

"Wow, you have a deep fryer?" Ruby breathed, zipping over to the make up counter where the other girls were congregating. "I think I'm in love."

"Hold it right there." A loud, angry voice resonated sharply off the cement walls and metal lockers. The girls turned to see Ursula barreling through the door, her perpetually dissatisfied sneer in place. "Where's Princess?! Princess!"

The other girls parted and Emma swallowed hard. "Yes?"

"Princess, you're going to be doing hosting duties for the rest of this week for a VIP client. That means you'll be off the stage rotation and you're not to go out on the floor. Just report directly to Private Room 1 for the evening."

"Woooo!" little joking "whooos!" and wolf whistles erupted from the other dancers, who had stopped muching the donuts to listen in.

"Oh? And if I don't like him?" Emma felt her heart going a little quicker.

Ursula's face momentarily frowned. "The client is offering a very special compensation to both the club and to you for your time. If you don't agree to terms, then you can take your things and go." Ursula said quietly.

The other girls started murmuring. "That's not right-" "That isn't fair, Ursula, we always pick-" "Whaa-"

"Oh, you poor unfortunate souls." Ursula rolled her eyes. "Princess, can you at least meet the VIP before you cost Underland –and yourself- a ton of easy money?"

Emma nodded.

"Okay Princess, come with me, I've got a few more instructions for you." The other girls sent searching looks after Emma, who followed Ursual out of the locker room, to the dark hall that connected the dancers with the Underworld floor.

"Here's the terms." Ursula said. "You go in and you dance and you don't talk. If the client wants a lap dance, the client will tap their lap. If they want bottle service, you press the buzzer. No one is to know your regular's name, understood? That part is secret. You get payed the regular hourly rate- but I won't charge a house fee. Pretty fair terms, yes? " Ursula pulled a non-disclosure agreement out of a folder. "If you sign this, you can go in and meet, and if you turn around and decide no that's fine. You're fired, but it's fine."

Emma crossed her arms.

"I don't get to talk to her first?"

Ursula raised an eyebrow. "Her? Then I see we both know whom we're talking about, don't we, Princess? There's to be no discussion with the client. Not a word. But of course, don't underestimate the importance of body language."

Emma took the contract and struck her name at the bottom with a quick gesture, before she could change her mind.