Jim could hardly sit still, squirming on his chair as he sat at the dining table, drinking a cup of tea Spock had sat in front of him. Jim just couldn't stop grinning, couldn't calm his excitement. After what seemed like an eternity, he would finally see his best friend again. Bones would be here soon, minutes ticking by tortuously slow for Jim. Spock watched his bond mate for a while, hoping that the tea would calm his restless love at least a little, but quickly realized that nothing short of a shot with narcotics would bring the human down.

Not willing to drug his mate just yet, he simply settled next to Jim, placing his hand on the terran's thigh. Jim turned to face the Vulcan, giving him a sheepish grin, shrugging lightly, as if saying I'm sorry, but I can't help myself. Spock's eyebrow arched with amusement in return, making Jim grin all the harder. Then, finally, Jim could hear footsteps. He jumped from the chair, hurrying to the large door that would grant entrance to their home. He had just made it to his destination when the door opened, revealing his father in law, and the man he had missed so dearly. Leonard McCoy.

"Bones." Jim said, moving forward to wrap his arms around the older man in a tight embrace, which was answered with a gruff pat on the back. Jim had really missed Bones' slightly rough demeanor. Everyone on Vulcan, aside of Amanda and (sometimes) Spock, was so reserved and aloof, a change Jim was still getting used to. And so, when he looked at Bones, hands on the doctor's shoulders, holding him at arms length, he could not help but laugh at the man's frowning.

"Hey kiddo." Bones said in reply, placing his suitcase onto the floor, though suitcase was really the wrong word. It was much more of a bag, large and dark green, thudding heavily to the floor as it was released. "How do you stand the damn heat?! God damn desert planet."

"You've been here 10 minutes, and you're already complaining. You haven't changed." The blond laughed, patting his friend on the shoulder in an affectionate way. "You wouldn't believe how much I've missed you."

"Yeah well, I can tell from the look on your face. If you could produce energy with that grin, you'd be able to power up half the city." Bones grunted, examining Jim closely. "You look.."

"Beautiful? Breath taking? Awe inspiring?" Jim joked, bending down to pick up Leonard's luggage.

"..Happy. I was going to say happy." The doctor almost snapped, making Jim laugh all the more as they slowly made their way to the main room, where Spock, Amanda and Sarek would undoubtedly be waiting, ready to greet their guest politely and welcoming him into their home.

"I am happy." Jim shrugged, giving his friend a lop sided smile. "Never been this happy, to be honest. Its all I've ever wanted."

"Yeah yeah. I get it, now tune it down, lover boy." Bones shook his head, but finally, a small smile tugged on his lips. Jim was pleased to no end with the way they had fallen back into routine with each other, as if they had never spent a day apart. It was easy, and comfortable, and something Jim adored about the doctor.

"I'll try, I promise." Jim replied, opening the door to the main room, letting Bones go in before him. "Bones, You've met Sarek and Spock. This is Lady Amanda, Spock's mother."

"Oh, don't you even get started with that 'Lady' business, Jim. A friend of yours is a friend of mine." Amanda scolded gently, moving towards Bones with a wide smile, extending her hand towards him. "Please, call me Amanda, dear. Its such a pleasure to have you with us."

"The pleasure is mine." Bones said somewhat subdued, probably not having expected such a display of humanity, even if Spock's mother was terran herself. "I'm Leonard McCoy. Jim prefers to call me Bones, though."

"Bones?" Amanda asked curiously, her eyes sparkling slightly. "Why don't you come with me, I'll make us a nice cup of tea, and you can tell me the story behind that nickname."

"If you'd like, Ma'am." Bones replied, his southern accept thickening. Jim wasn't sure if it was because Leonard was uncomfortable, or the exact opposite, feeling somewhat at ease. In both cases, the accent peeked through more than usually.

"Now, now, no calling me Ma'am, dear. It makes me feel old." Amanda teased, leading the way to the kitchen. Jim gave Bones a shrug as the doctor turned to face him, telling Bones he was on his own with this.

"T'hy'la, why do you not accompany your friend." Spock suggested softly, taking the doctors belongings wrapped in the bag from Jim, and into his own hand. "I will bring his luggage to his room."

"Yes, thank you Spock." Jim smiled, brushing his fingertips against the back of Spock's hand in a small show of affection, fearing that Spock might be uncomfortable with more. Spock nodded, and then moved away from Jim, walking off towards the guest room Jim had lived in, up until they had bonded. Now, they shared Spock's room.

The day passed smoothly, him and Bones catching up with each other, accompanied by Amanda and Spock. New and old stories were exchanged, making Jim laugh so hard he was in tears. Even Spock seemed to be enjoying himself, if the soft look in his eyes was anything to go by.

The day bleed into night, and it was then that Jim decided it was time for him and Bones to retire to the guest room, and open that bottle of whiskey he had been given. Amanda had excused herself to bed, while Spock, too, decided not to join them, at least for now. He had some more data from one of his experiments to work through, but he did promise Jim to return to his side later.

And so, Jim and Bones were sitting on the small terrace attached to the room, sipping at their drink, letting the much cooler, night air brush against their faces as they talked. They had been casual up to this point, no topic of great importance surfacing until Bones grew silent for a few moments, staring absentmindedly into the night sky.

"So. How has it been, Jim? No regrets?" He asked, quirking a brow as he looked at the blond, eyes and expression serious. Jim smiled almost lazily.

"None at all, Bones. I agree that.. the way we got back together wasn't really easy, but now that we are.. Being with him feels as natural as breathing." Jim took a sip from his glass, trying to find the words to explain to his friend what he felt. "Its like.. Its like its all I've ever done, all I've ever wanted to do. Its waking up to him in the morning, and going to bed with him at night that makes me happiest. Knowing that we'll spend every day connected, no matter what. Thanks to the bond."

"Sounds intense." Bones muttered, taking a deep swig from his own glass, quickly refiling it when he had drained its content. "How do you do it? Having him in your mind all the time? Sharing everything?"

"Well, we can block each other out if its really necessary, but.. I love having Spock in my mind. He's just.. a part of it now. Even know, when I'm fully concentrated on you and this conversation, I can feel him." Jim explained, shrugging lightly. "I can feel that he's tired, and a little frustrated. His experiments aren't going as he had hoped to. But I can also feel that he's content. That he's.. comfortable."

"Not going the way he planned, huh? Can only imagine how much the hobgoblin hates being wrong." Jim watched as Leonard ran his hand over his face, sighing heavily, suddenly looking 10 years older. "He's always been a perfectionist."

"Yeah, he has." Jim agreed quietly, finally turning to face his friend, turning his upper body towards the older male. "Whats been going on Bones? And don't say you're fine. Somethings wrong, and you're not telling me."

"..Some things, I just have to work out by myself, kiddo." Was the reply, making Jim sigh as well.

"Are you sure, Bones? I'm your best friend. You know we can talk about anything. I'll always try to help you out, the best you can." His words were gentle, comforting, and he could tell by the way the doctor shifted uncomfortably that his words were accepted and appreciated.

"Yeah, I know, Jim. Now, enough of this serious talk. Tell me about your life on Vulcan. Especially about your life surrounded by Vulcans."

And so Jim did.


Spock closed his eyes for just a second, finally finished with his work, and happy to be. His eyes felt unusually irritated, his body heavier than normally, and all he wanted was to curl up with his mate and sleep. But, judging by the condition of Jim's mind, that was not going to happen anytime soon.

Jim's mind was projecting waves of amusement, joy, and, foremost, intoxication. Spock had no doubt that when he re joined the two humans, they would both be well and completely drunk. And, as he had thought, he was greeted by an excited, yet slurring Jim. The men were sitting on the bed, the whiskey bottle almost empty between them.

"Spock!" Jim chimed, reaching out for his bond mate with outstretched arms. "You're back!"

"I am indeed, ashayam." Spock replied, moving towards his bond mate, allowing Jim's arm to wrap around his neck, answering the embrace with one of his own, placing his hands at the humans hips. "You are drunk."

"Yeah, but so is Bones." Jim answered, grinning widely.

"Not as bad as you are, Jim." The doctor retorted, and Spock could indeed confirm that the doctor was less intoxicated than his love. Jim would no doubt have a horrid headache come morning, and Spock made a mental note to supply Jim with water and something for the pain before he left to work.

"Well, I haven't had booze in a while Bones, can't blame me for being a lightweight now." His T'hy'la spoke, slowly pulling back from Spock, only to lean his forehead against the Vulcan's. "I've missed you."

"As I have you, T'hy'la." Spock replied, closing his eyes as he felt those cool, human fingers run through his hair.

"You're so tired, why don't you go ahead and go to bed?" Jim crooned, nuzzling his nose gently against Spock's cheek, pressing a soft kiss to the warm skin. "I'll come when I've sobered up a bit. Or maybe I'll just crash here."

Spock's eyes flew open, pupils dilating ever so slightly as he pulled Jim closer to himself, holding him against his body almost possessively. It made his human chuckle, placing those cool hands against Spock's chest in a soothing manner.

"Alright, I won't. I'll come back to you, I promise." He whispered, smiling at his bond mate, though Spock could see surprise in those blue, blue eyes. He himself could not explain where the sudden wave of possessiveness had come from, but it had come strong enough to make him act on it. He pulled away slowly, wanting nothing more than to hold his mate, but knowing he would not be able to stay awake much longer. Even a Vulcan had its limits.

"Thank you, ashayam." Spock said, breaking the embrace completely, and turning to McCoy. "I apologize for my absence this evening, Doctor. I will be more attentive in the future. Please forgive me, but I must retire."

Bones waved his hand dismissively, nodding shortly in response. Spock nodded back, brushing Jim's hand with the tips of his fingers a final time before moving out of the room, and toward his own. He had originally planned to simply meditate until Jim joined him for the night, but found that he could not concentrate enough to calm his mind. He was simply too exhausted. And so, the second his head hit the pillow, Spock was asleep, long before Jim even started making his way to their bedroom.


Jim became more and more worried about his bond mate as the days passed. Bones had him distracted most of the time, and he enjoyed being around the scruffy man once more. But he found himself being worried about Spock more often each day, feeling the exhaustion Spock seemed unable to shake, no matter how long he slept.

He was being more demanding in bed than usual, preferring to submit to Jim more often than not, expressing his lust and love for the human even more openly than ever before, save for his Pon Farr. Spock seemed almost desperate to connect at night, when he and Jim had retired to bed for the night, melding with Jim's mind as often and as long as possible.

And while Jim surely didn't mind this passion, it wasn't only their sex life that was effected by this change. Spock was more possessive, more affectionate in public, hand brushing against Jim's almost constantly. At some point, Spock had even snapped at him for being 'too close' to Bones, that he could smell the doctor on Jim's skin, making very clear just how much he disliked that fact.

Jim had blinked with surprise, mouth slightly agape. He had hugged Bones could night, and simply couldn't explain his love's almost hostile reaction. He and Bones had always shared the occasional hug, and Spock had never minded, up until now. Spock had soon after apologized to the terran, worrying the blond even more. And so, he had made love to his bond mate slowly and sweetly that night, their movements slow, deliberate, and languid. He had tried to let Spock know just how much he loved and adored him that night, and for a while, it seemed enough to sooth the unusually emotional Vulcan.

Finally, when Jim started becoming seriously concerned for Spock, Bones dropped a comment.

"He looks out of it. Experiments going that bad?" The doctor asked, looking at Jim quite puzzled.

"I have no idea whats going on Bones, he's acting.. strange." Jim responded, shaking his head as he sighed. "He says he's fine, but. I can feel how tired he is all the time. He's more emotional than normally, too. I don't know whats bothering him. Normally, I'd say its Pon Farr, but its much too soon for that to happen again."

"Maybe I could check him out." Leonard suggested. "I have all the basic things I'd need with me. I could give him a quick once over. Unless he wants to go to a healer?"

Jim though on that a minute, before deciding to accept Bones' offer. Somehow, he was sure Spock wouldn't want to go to a healer. Whatever was wrong, he was trying to deal with it himself, though Jim didn't understand why.

"Yeah, I'll talk to him about letting you look him over. He won't like it, but I think he'll do it if I ask him." Bones had nodded at that, patting Jim on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Just bring him by tomorrow morning, before he goes to work. It'll only take a few minutes. And it can't hurt just to check."

"Yeah." Jim agreed quietly. "Can't hurt."


"There is no need for me to see Doctor McCoy." Spock spoke firmly, laying in Jim's arms, his back pressed to the humans chest, still basking in the aftermath of their love making.

"Please Spock." Jim said, pressing a soft kiss to the Vulcan's cheek, gently grabbing his chin to face him. "Its just to make sure you're okay. You can't tell me you've been feeling fine. You've got dark circles under your eyes. I've never seen you like this. Just let him look you over."

Spock looked up at him silently, defiance shimmering in his eyes, thin lips pressed together to an even thinner line as he regarded his bond mate.

"Please. Just let him have a quick look, T'hy'la. I am so worried for you." Jim whispered, letting his worry and desperation leak through their bond, and into Spock's mind. Finally, Spock gave a curt nod.

"If that is your wish, ashayam, I will allow the doctor to examine me." The raven haired man relented, moving to steal another kiss from his human mate. "Do not worry any longer. Love me instead."


Jim could not help being nervous. He had gotten Spock to let Bones examine him, so that was at least something. But the doctor had asked him to leave the make shift examining room, that was the guest bedroom. For privacy, he had said. Jim thought it a bit ridiculous, seeing as he and Spock basically shared their minds 24/7, but didn't protest. He had started out leaning against the wall opposite from the door, but as time had passed and Spock hadn't come out, he had started pacing.

Whatever was going on, it was taking much longer than it should have, meaning only one thing. It was bad. Spock had his shields up around his mind, effectively blocking Jim out, which only worried the blond even more. He could feel the palms of his hand starting to become sticky with sweat, rubbing them over his pants as he kept pacing. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the door opened.

Jim halted his movement, turning to stare at the men that now exited the room. Bones was pale, much too pale. Spock's expression was its usual blank one, but something danced in those dark eyes, something like uncertainty, and fear. Jim swallowed hard, trying to find the words to ask the question burning in his mind.

"What.." He started, but Bones just shook his head, placing his hand at the blond's shoulder, and squeezing lightly.

"We need to get him to a healer. This.." He paused, eyes flicking over to Spock, before continuing to speak. "This is out of my league. By far."

"Spock, what's going on?" Jim asked quietly, feeling his heart clench, feeling dread and panic knot his stomach up to the point it was almost unbearably painful. He couldn't be losing Spock. Not after they had just gotten back together, not after all that pain, and joy.

"I believe this would best be discussed when the doctor's suspicion is either proven right, or wrong." The Vulcan answered slowly, reaching his hand out to brush them against the back of Jim's hand. The human jerked away, feeling anger boiling up in him. Why weren't they telling him what was going on? Why was he being kept in the dark?

"No. I want to talk about this now." He ground out. "What the hell is going on, Spock? Are you sick? Are you dying?"

"Look, Kiddo, we should really-" Bones started, but was quickly cut off by the former captain.

"Bones, I love you, but stay out of this!" Jim demanded, anger heavy in his voice. "One of you better tell me whats going on right this minute."

"I can't." Leonard's voice was soft, as if he was trying to soothe his friend just with words alone. Jim knew he was far too pissed off for it to work, that he should turn around and leave before he hurt his friend or his bond mate. But he couldn't do it. The worry, mixed with his anger and his fear made rational thoughts impossible.

"Why not?! I'm your best friend, and this is my husband we are talking about!" He seethed, turning to look into the face of the man he considered family. "Why can't I know whats wrong?"

"..I'm his doctor. I'm bound to secrecy. If anyone tells you, it has to be Spock."

That made sense, at least somewhat. Jim hated it, but Bones was right. He couldn't tell him, even if he wanted to. And so, the terran had no choice but to turn back to his T'hy'la, baby blue eyes drilling into brown ones.

"Spock." His voice was strained, and Jim could feel tears rising into his eyes. "Tell me what is going on."

"T'hy'la, you must trust me." Spock urged, stepping forward, placing his long fingered hands against the cool, human flesh of Jim's cheek. "I ask you to be patient. Only until we know for sure."

"Know what for sure?" Against his will, the blond leaned into the comforting touch given by his love, eyes falling shut at the familiar heat, and softness. "..Are you going to die?"

"You must have patience." Spock said once more, making Jim's heart miss a beat. "Please, Jim, I will speak to you once the healer has seen me. Be patient just until then."

Jim wanted to scream, wanted to beat against the strong chest before him until Spock crumbled, until he told him what was happening to his beloved Vulcan. But it wouldn't change anything. Spock would not tell him until he was ready, and no amount of anger or even begging would move the stoic male to change his mind.

And so, Jim took a step back, nodding shortly, before walking away. He hadn't been asked to join them with the healer, and even if he had, he would have refused. He was too scared, too hurt to think.

He couldn't be there when, what could be his love's death sentence, was spoken aloud.


"Could have told him, ya know?" Leonard said, frowning at his Vulcan companion as they made their way to see a healer.

"I did not wish to give him hope, when there is none." Spock replied, keeping his gaze pointed straight ahead.

"He thinks you're going to die." The human protested, running a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"We all die, Doctor. It is inevitable. Death comes to all of us. Eventually."


Jim had spent his day hauled up in their bedroom, brooding over what had occurred earlier that day. He had wrapped himself in the sheets they slept under at night, his head resting on Spock's pillow, inhaling the comforting scent.

He had calmed, somewhat, at least. The anger had disappeared, but the fear and worry had only worsened. The day was slowly ending, and Spock had not yet returned. Even worse, he was still keeping Jim out of his mind, letting not even the smallest bit of emotion sicker through his shields. He had never kept him out this much.

Jim felt like he had laid in their bed for an eternity, until finally, the door opened. The terran sat up immediately, eyes fixed on the Vulcan that entered, and shut the door behind him. So many questions flooded Jim's mind, that he was finding it difficult to settle on just one. Was his ashayam sick? If he was, what was it, and how bad? And, most important of all, was Spock going to recover?

They stared at each other for a few moments, before finally, the raven haired man started moving forward, settling down on the bed next to Jim, gently taking both human hands into his own.

"T'hyla." Spock said, caressing Jim's hands gently with the pads of his fingers. "We must talk."


Cliff hanger! Hope you liked this chapter! Shout out to everyone that favorited, followed, and of course, reviewed!