Naruto:The Smarter Choice

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto in any way, shape, or form

Previously…

"So he attacked Anko Chan through her curse seal?" Sansai asked, remembering the shy, broken little girl that Orochimaru had abandoned. Sarutobi nodded.

I guess I'd better go see her then. I may have found a way to seal it off, if not completely remove it. I'd have to compare notes with Ero sensei first though. If he's following his regular pattern, he's probably peeping on the ladies that came to see the Chunin exams right now.

XX

When Naruto turned his head to look and see who it was all he saw was a white mane, suggesting that it was just some old fart who was peeping on his teammate. No, Naruto would not tolerate that. (Partially because it would be hell for him if she found out that he let it happen.)

"HEY! AREN'T YOU TOO OLD TO BE PEEPING?"

XX

Sansai started to walk out. "It was great seeing you again old timer, but if you are the target of this whole thing, you might want to consider nominating a Godiaime soon. You're not as young as you used to be.

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Ch 9Perverted Reunion

"HEY! AREN'T YOU TOO OLD TO BE PEEPING?"

At the shout, the old geezer slowly turned his head to look at the bastard that just ruined such a great day of research. His eyes widened when he saw a messy mop of sun kissed hair that was almost identical to his late student's hair.

Unfortunately, (or not) Jiraiya was broken out of his daze by an electrical shot that when right through the thin, plywood separator, courtesy of Sakura. When the wall came down, the two men saw a mob of about twenty women, all armed with the fists of righteous fury, and clothed with a towel.

The old pervert quickly plotted of a way to punish the little gaki who had gotten him into this mess, because he saw enough kunoichi that would know him by reputation that he knew that he would not get out of this unscathed. The question was, how? Oh, there's an idea.



"Oi, don't mind us ladies, me and my apprentice were just having a talk about meditation practices-"

"OI! I'M NOT YOU'RE APPRENTICE, YOU ERO-BAKA!" Shouted Naruto, who noticed that his teammates hand was still glowing with four more lightning shots.

"Yes you are! You agreed to become my legacy in the way of writing!" Jiraiya then had the sheer audacity to pull an Icha Icha Violence from who knows where to emphasize the point.

Naruto paled, knowing that no amount of denial of this statement was going to save him from a beating of a lifetime from the women, and more importantly Sakura, who knew some of his Oiroke no Jutsu exploits. (He had also read Icha Icha in researching that department.)

The women charged.

Several Minutes Later…

Jiraiya was now a steaming heap and Naruto looked to be in worse shape. However, Naruto burst into smoke and the original crawled out of the nearby bushes, silently thanking Kami for his uber stealth skills. He only had the Raikou Tama burns and a few bruises on his person.

Naruto glared at the hermit, who was slowly pulling himself up into a sitting position. "You'd better mean the whole apprentice thing, cause I sure as hell didn't go through that for no reason."

"So you really want to learn about the finer things in life?"

"Tch. Hell no. I got better things to do than write Hentai. Only a ninja could survive such a beating and remain relatively unscathed." Naruto noted, glanced at the older man's unmarred skin. He continued, "I want you to teach me a kickass Ninjutsu!"

"The kid must be in severe denial of his own perverted tendencies if he knows about my book. I wonder what kind of excuse he'll give? Why would you, a minor, know of my precious works of art?"

Naruto sighed, "My sensei reads that thing all the time. Now seriously, teach me something kickass!"

"No."

"Why?" Naruto pouted.

"That is a very well put together Pout no Jutsu. I won't teach any random brat."

"Random? I'm not random! Wait, you don't know who I am?" He asked, knowing that like him or hate him, everyone in Konoha had heard of him.

"Yes, you are the legacy of the Yondiaime, and vessel for the Kyuubi no Kitsune. But you probably don't know that. No, should i?"



Naruto smirked and activated a smoke bomb. (Where the hell did he get that? They're still in their towels!) As the smoke was clearing, Jiraiya saw a fully dressed Naruto doing a little jig that was oddly reminiscent of his own intro jig.

"I am the man who lights up the town known as Konogakure no Sato. I am the greatest prankster to have ever blessed this land. When the villagers hear that I am active, they will lock their doors to no avail! I am the only ninja who is bold enough and daring enough to wear the color that is orange! I will become the greatest Hokage ever to have existed! I am future Hokage; Uzumaki Naruto!"

"You may be the next super perv yet! You're not wearing very much orange.Jiraiya deadpanned, staring at Naruto's black with orange strips outfit.

"Eh, heh, heh, heh… I made that up back when I wore an orange jumpsuit. I haven't had time to make a new one yet. So who are you?"

"It would be weird if I did my normal dance. I guess I'll just have to settle for that." He Shushined to a nearby bridge, suddenly dressed, on top of a toad bigger than he was.

"I am Myouboku Mountain's Monk of the Frog Spirits. Also known as the Gama Sennin! I am also a writer of great novels! Women fall for my charm as bees fly to nectar! I am the one, the only, I am the great, and the powerful Jiraiya Sama!"

"So what are you gonna teach me first, Ero Sennin?"

"Respect your elders, gaki!"

"Hai. Ero oji sama."

"I won't teach someone who can't appreciate my beautiful works of art!"

"You mean you're books?"

"Hai."

"They were a good read-"

"Hah! They don't sell my books to minors!"

"So? The moment I got my forehead protector, I became an adult in the eyes of the public!" Yep, Naruto has been hanging around Sakura Way too much.

"So this gaki isn't as dumb as his father was at his age. So you are a pervert." Insert lecherous grin here.

"No! I'm not a pervert! I defeat perverts! Oiroke no Jutsu!" This action resulted in bulging eyes, blushing face, severe nosebleed, slight concussion, instant erection, and completely forgetting the fact that this was a preadolescent boy under a Kage Henge.



A few minutes later, after Jiraiya had woken up from slamming his head against the ground via nosebleed, he grumbled. "I'll teach you on one condition."

"Yatta! What is it?" Naruko asked excitedly.

"You gotta stay like that the whole time."

Naruto immediately dispelled the Henge. "Hell no! You're nothing more than an old perv!"

Jiraiya actually pouted. "No. I'm a Super Pervert!"

"I'm not going to teach such an insolent brat." And he ran off. This led Naruto on a chase that ran all the way through Konoha and back.

About a minute later a voice came from the destroyed ruins of the hot spring. "You know Ero sensei; you should probably give the kid a chance. He'll probably figure out that he's chasing a Kage Bushin soon, and you do have a duty as his godfather."

A surprised Jiraiya leapt up from his hiding place in the trees. "Sansai gaki, what are you doing here?"He knew that there was someone there but was surprised that it was Sansai.

"I was recalled back into the force. Now answer the question, Ero sensei."

"Not you too!" he sighed. "If the boy doesn't have enough determination or skill to find my clone, then the gaki isn't worth teaching."

"Right. So, we're at war again, huh?"

"Hell no. You're at war. I'm going to conduct research and nothing more."

"What about teaching Uzumaki?"

Jiraiya sagged, clearly seeing the set up that his last remaining student was preparing. "Fine I'll stay long enough to teach him something"

Sansai smirked. "Good. Glad I didn't have to beat in the whole sticking to your word that you used to beat into us."

"It's been a long time hasn't it."

"Yeah… Remember when Kairai Chan sent all her puppets after Minato when you first convinced him to go peeping with you?"

Jiraiya chuckled, rubbing his face as if remembering a pain. "Yeah. Remember when she found out that introducing Kakashi to Icha Icha was your idea?"



Sansai winced, remembering how long he was in the hospital after that incident. "Come on. I've got sake at my place."

"I never knew you drank." Jiraiya said, looking slightly offended.

Sansai smirked. "You don't know a lot of things Ero sensei."

The super perv had the decency to look vaguely insulted.

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Ever since he had ditched Naruto at the hot springs, Sasuke had been scouring the entire Uchiha district for some Raiton jutsu scrolls. Evidently, he forgot that the Uchiha was a clan of fire.

"Alright." He whispered to himself. (Hey he doesn't want people to think that he talks to himself more than he does to his team.)"I've finally found a ration scroll." He rips open the scroll eagerly, wanting to get on with the next step of his training as soon as possible.

He sweatdropped. It was an advanced Raiton scroll filled with B or higher ranked techniques. The basics that he was looking for was not about to be found in there.

Then he silently fumed, unconsciously running chakra up and through the senbon that he holding, to the lamp he was reading by. He didn't notice until the lamp had gone out and caught fire.

At first, Sasuke was elated to know that he had finally created a spark, but then he remembered that he had caught the lamp on fire inside a wooden house. He immediately took the lamp to the sink and drowned it, heedless of the second degree burns that he just received.

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To an ordinary civilian, Sansai's place seemed rather standard for someone with Jounin pay and duties. It was a small two bedroom house with a kitchen, two bathrooms, a living room and a basement. There was little past the necessities past a cd player/ radio, a few scrolls and books, a shogi board, a photo album, and whatever is in the basement.

However to an elite ninja like Jiraiya, saw that it was anything but. The house was loaded with security seals that would immediately fry anyone that Sansai doesn't know or trust (slight difference there), several cabinets with so many seals that nothing short of Sansai's chakra signature and blood would grant access. Jiraiya also noticed several preservation seals on the refrigerator that would allow food to go unspoiled for an almost indefinite amount of time, and some seals that would activate at light Futon jutsu that would keep the dust from getting too overwhelming every once in a while. Jiraiya privately thought that Sansai was one paranoid bastard.

After Sansai got back from flipping the circuit breakers to turn the electricity back on, Jiraiya asked, (more like demanded) "So where's the sake, gaki?"



Sansai chuckled before pulling out the sake and two saucers from behind his back. "You sound like Tsunade sensei.." He poured some sake into each saucer. "To good times and to the continued fire of the leaf."

"Hai. And to those who come before and after us." They drank the first round. "So, who's left of your Rookie Nine?"

"Rookie Twelve, remember? Lets see, there was me, Minato dobe, Kairai Chan, the H twins, the InoShikaCho buddies, Mikoto Chan, Fugaku teme, Shibi san, and Tsume chan. You're the only surviving sensei, I'm all that left of Team 7, Mikoto and Fugaku got killed in the massacre, and Hizashi's corpse is still probably being researched by the Kumo Nin. We sure were a talented bunch weren't we?" he laughed humorlessly.

"Remember when Minato found out that the Mikoto got stuck into an arranged marriage with Fugaku?"

"Hell yeah. The guy practically broke down. After locking himself in his apartment for a week I had to break in to drag him to training so that he wouldn't get dull before the Chunin Exams." By now they had downed several rounds. "I better stop; I can't afford to be completely hung over tomorrow."

"You're that drunk already?" Jiraiya asked incredulously for he wasn't even tipsy yet.

"I got to get back in gear tomorrow. Besides, I'd rather not be hung over when I decide to scare the hell out of the others. And I'm not exactly a happy drunk."

"Heh. Did you ever finish the gravity seal you were working on when you left?"

Sansai smirked. "Hell yeah. I keep it active almost all the time."

Jiraiya really laughed this time. "So this whole 'I'm out of shape' thing I've been hearing about you is a load of bull, huh? Can I see it?" Sansai complied by removing his shirt. After studying the seal that started on his abdomen and ran up his sides and then all the way down to his palms Jiraiya asked, amazed, "How the hell are you even standing up? The human body can only withstand three g's worth."

Sansai shook his head. "No. A civilian who is not versed in the ways of chakra and is not already used to the pressure can only handle three g's. I however, keep it at a standard of three g's."

Jiraiya was still stunned. "So if this is your standard, how much do you train at?"

"Well, for an all day session, I'll turn it up to five. For an average training session, I keep it at ten, and for thirty minutes or less, I have fifteen."

"So fifteen is your max?" Sansai nodded in response, signifying that that was the maximum that his body could handle regardless.

"You know that I've always wanted to play the 'Let people think that you are weaker than you really are' card."



"Yeah, yeah, so what the hell did you bring me here for? I'm sure it wasn't just to reminisce."

"Right. I think I've found a way to remove the Juin Jutsu." He was about to show Jiraiya a large scroll with the details within when they heard someone pounding on the door. "Err… yeah. Check it out."

Just before Sansai got to the door it was kicked in by one irate Mitarashi Anko. "Where the hell are you, Sansai? You promised to fix this damned thing!" She yelled, obviously referring to the curse seal.

Sansai's was in shock. He was expecting a shy, half depressed girl. What he saw was a loudmouth woman who he now found nearly as scary as his deceased teammate puppeteer. And Anko, apparently, wasn't very modest anymore either. "Err… nice jacket." He said, noting the trench coat that kept her within the bounds of decency.

"Tch, Perv. So is it ready?" Anko asked, already expecting Sansai to be at least slightly perverted considering that he was trained by the same guy who is rich enough to buy a small country from writing porn.

Sansai was still off balance from experiencing an Anko that had a mental 180 of what he had expected her to be. Sure, the Third filled him in on the rumors of her, but he just chalked it up to the village populace making a mountain out of a molehill again. "Err… I'm having Ero sensei check my work. If he okays it, its still gonna be a few days before I can set it all up."

"Don't call me that you Gaki!" They heard from the kitchen.

"Why the hell do you need his okay?" Anko asked incredulously.
"Rule #1 of Fujinjutsu: Always have a second opinion." Then he added with a mischievous smile, "Besides, with the kind of seal that we're working with, if I made a mistake, it'll kill you."

"Hey Sansai gaki, come here!"

Sansai and Anko walked to the kitchen to find one strangely serious Jiraiya. "This wouldn't work on one of Oro teme's full fledged curse marks, but should work on the prototype that Anko received."

"Well let's get the fucking thing off of me then!"

Sansai crashed Anko's mood. "Hold on, this is fujinjutsu. Should isn't good enough. I need to look at the seal and make a diagnostic."

Anko groaned but moved her coat enough to reveal the seal.

Sansai glared venomously at his sensei, who was grinning lecherously. "Don't you dare. She's less than half your age." He ran a diagnostic technique that allows him to see how the Juin Jutsu affects her chakra coils.



"Well, shit. Apparently the Hebi didn't just activate her seal, but he updated it as well. From what I can tell, it is much more interwoven into your chakra coils and is much harder to resist the power."

"So… you can't remove it." Anko asked slowly,

"Essentially. I could remove it, but the process would kill you. The thing is wrapped so tightly around the eight inner gates that it would take someone with Tsunade's medical precision and the Yondiaime's sealing expertise to pull it off."

"Hold on, Gaki. What if we don't remove the seal? Maybe we could remove Oro teme's influence on it instead. If he wasn't manipulating it, it wouldn't eat away at her sanity, or give you whispering of revenge."

"Hm… That might work." Sansai went back to observing the seal. A few moments later he had a smirk that promised to prove painful to the Hebi. "Well well well. The Hebi made a fatal error. Looks like the Hebi had the audacity to put a fraction of his mind in the seal. If that's how he controls it, then when it is removed, he ought to feel every second of it."

"If only we had an exorcist rather than a couple of Fujinjutsu experts."

Anko was rather pissed at being examined like a lab rat. "Are you bastards done yet? Can you do it or not?"

Sansai wore a sad smile. "Not yet Anko Chan, but now that we know exactly what we are dealing with, it shouldn't take more than a couple of years before we can free your mind of Orochimaru once and for all."

A sense of impending doom settled over Sansai's house. "Did you just call me 'Chan?'?"

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Authors Note

Ugh. This feels so… so forced out. But yeah, power was out for several days, preventing me from typing. Then it took me forever to come up with Jiraiya's intro speech. Then I had to rework the scene with Anko several times before it sounded halfway decent.

Anyway, I've decided to bump this up the M so that I can swear with impunity and for future amounts of bloodshed. The idea for a piece of Orochimaru's mind being in the curse seal comes from SerpantSannin's Puppet Master Naruto. Read it and be amazed.

Kairai (puppet) - Sansai's deceased kunoichi teammate. Likes photography. Hates perverts. Skills: puppetry.



Notice that all the women that Sansai referred to he called 'chan.' I figured that it would be a good idea for Sansai to be well connected in Konoha. It sure will make for some funny scenes/ omakes. Oh, he will be teased for being so tongue tied around Anko this time.

Sansai:"… Shut up."

I hope you liked this chapter. I put a lot of work into it.

Over and Out.

Eye of the Blizzard.

EDIT:Its almost like the further I go the less I need to fix… But yeah, this makes a lot more sense when I have as Jiraiya being the better seal master. Now I can finally continue without guilt!