Never Give In

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Chapter Nine

Waking up without Andy by my side felt weird and made me a little sad but I knew that I would see him again. I decided that I should try and persuade Alex to come down to see me again so I picked up my phone and dialled his number.

"Hello?" He asked and I knew that he hadn't looked at the caller ID again. I was almost at a loss for words but I didn't want to miss the chance to talk to him.

"Alex, you have to talk to me" I said and I felt as though I could hear his heart break. I felt as though part of me had been ripped out when I didn't have Alex with me.

"Would you please leave me alone?" He said and now it was my heart that was breaking. He was my best friend and he didn't even want me to talk to him.

"I thought you were in love with me" I whispered. I thought it was too low for him to hear but he managed to hear me.

"I do still love you but we need to be away from each other for a while" Alex said. One word stood out to me from that whole sentence.

"You still love me?" I asked and I knew that my voice sounded hopeful. I didn't want to go out with Alex but I still wanted that closeness back.

"I really do" He said as though he was longing to kiss me. I felt guilty to admit that I kind of want to kiss him too but I was falling in love with Andy.

"If you want to see me without Andy then come to see me in eleven days because he's on tour" I said and then I hung up. I could feel the tears falling from my eyes before I even set my phone down on the counter. I needed him with me again.

As soon as I put my phone down it rang again. I picked it up and pressed it to my ear as I waited expectantly.

"Hi" Someone said. It took me a while to realise who it was but I soon recognised the voice.

"Hello, Jake" I greeted. I couldn't help but wonder why he would ring me since we weren't very close and only talk to each other when we need to.

"Do you want to do something today?" He asked and I wanted to say no straight away. I had already said that I was going to spend the time before tour with Andy.

"Andy and I were going to do something" I explained but it didn't stop him from still being persistent.

"Andy's ill and wanted me to spend time with you" Jake explained and I felt like punching the wall in anger. I didn't know how to act around Jake since I barely knew him but if Andy wanted me to spend time with him then I will.

"You can come over whenever you want" I answered as I tried to hide any of the annoyance that I knew was showing in my voice.

"I'll be on my way now then" He sighed as he hung up the phone. I put my phone back on the counter and practically ran around my room to get ready in time. I wasn't even looking at what I was throwing on but I knew that I was praying to god that it would look ok. Just as I pulled on my shoes the door clicked open and Jake's head popped round the door. He had a wide smile on his face so I smiled back. He took that as an invitation and took a few steps in and sat on the black sofa.

"Why did Andy want you to spend time with me?" I asked. It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with him, believe me I did; I just wanted to know why Andy doesn't want me to be left alone.

"Andy says he thinks you look lonely so I wanted to keep you company" Jake explained and I couldn't stop the grin forming on my face. It's nice to find out that people care for you. I may not know Jake very well but he is now one of my best friends.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked as I racked my own brain to try and figure out what I could do with Jake. It was raining heavily so I wasn't in the mood to go out and it didn't look like Jake wanted to either.

"Why don't we just listen to music and hang out?" Jake asked. It may sound boring but to me it sounded interesting. A conversation with Jake always ends in laughter so I'm imagining today will be a humorous day. I put my Ipod on the docking station and played my passion. Jake leaned back and sighed deeply as he groped for a conversation starter.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I asked as I was sick of the awkward silence already and the day had only just started.

"How are you and Andy doing?" He asked and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. I didn't want to discuss this with Jake because it always makes me giggly but if I didn't then he would think something bad had happened.

"It's going amazing" I sighed as I let myself giggle more and Jake grinned. He put his arm around me in a friendly way and it was just like how it was with Alex. I realised that Jake would also be leaving with Andy and I would have no one at all. I needed Alex but it was up to him now. I have done all that I can do.

"I'm glad to hear it" Jake sighed and it sounded like he was telling the complete truth. I leaned forward and changed the song to back to go again by framing hanley. I returned to my spot next to Jake.

"Have you got a girlfriend?" I asked. I found it weird that I had been speaking to him for about a week and that subject never arose. He looked at me and shook his head but I couldn't help but notice the sadness in the movement.

"There was a girl but she was just a fan and I knew nothing about her at all" Jake admitted. I nodded knowingly but then my eyes went wide.

"Hey, I was just a fan at first" I said and I could tell my voice was rising. Jake grinned at me and pulled me back down to him as he chuckled softly.

"It's different for you and Andy. Andy didn't see you at a meet and greet" Jake explained. I looked at him and I could tell that all my face showed was sympathy for him. I wanted him to be happy with the girl of his dreams.

"If that ever happens again then you have to talk to her" I said. Jake gave a small smile and it looked like he finally had some hope in himself.

"Can we talk about some cheerful things?" Jake asked, giggling, I nodded. I hated talking about things that had an element of depression but if it helped a friend then I would do it.

"What song do you want to listen to?" I asked. He leaned forward and looked through my Ipod. He finally settled on Rise Against and we returned to our normal positions that were incredibly comfortable. Jake was definitely going to be my Alex replacement if Alex never comes to his senses. I don't mean to make that sound mean but I know that Jake will end up being a close friend. Jake picked up one of the books off my coffee table and read through some of it.

"This book's shit" He finally said and it caused me to laugh loudly. He obviously didn't understand romance as good as me. He had read the scene in Fallen where Cam and Daniel fight in the library and he obviously thought they were acting like two dickheads fighting over a girl.

"Leave my books alone" I defended. Jake shook his head as he sighed and looked around my flat. His eyes rested on the bookshelf that I had that was decorated with CD's. Jake instantly got up and went over to it as he looked at what material I'm into. He grinned when he saw his own album and then giggled when he saw my Steps album from when I was younger. I came up from behind him as I read the titles as well. When we got to the bottom shelf we found that it was littered with games. I found Spyro and the games that I used to play and I found Final Fantasy which is a game that I still play now.

"I didn't know you were into RPG's" Jake said as he pulled out the game box and studied it. I took it off of him and placed it back on the shelf.

"Of course I am" I said as though it was obvious. I would wait for ages for the new Final Fantasy to come out because I was just that cool. I stood up and walked back over to me sofa where I thumped down on it. Jake followed me and let his head rest in my lap. He smiled up at me and I couldn't help but giggle.

"I'm going to have to leave soon" Jake sighed. I took a look at the clock and it was beginning to get late. I sighed but nodded anyway as I moved my legs but I was careful to let Jake's head be set down gently. As soon as I was up Jake shot up and began to put his shoes back on.

"Can you tell Andy that I say I love him and that I want him to get well soon?" I asked. I heard Jake snigger so I glared hard at him.

"Of course I will. He'll probably be able to come and see you tomorrow" Jake said. I nodded happily since I was already missing having conversations with him. When Jake shrugged on his hoodie he pecked my cheek lightly as if we were an old married couple and he was leaving for work.

"Love ya Jake" I said in a cheerful tone. He smiled as he waved goodbye and then the door was shut and I was alone again. I sighed as I went to go take a nice bath that was much needed. I might even put bubble bath in it because I'm worth it. Ha! I crack myself up sometimes. After I ran the bath I let myself slide in and be greeted by the warm water. I only wanted to get washed and get out but the water seemed so inviting. I closed my eyes and let myself go and by the next time I opened my eyes the water had gone cold and it was midnight. I wrapped the towel around me and stood into the other room where I got changed into baggy jeans and a hoodie. I slid into my bed and pulled the covers up over my head. I led my head sink into my pillow as I thought about Alex. I know I need to stop thinking about him but this has really shaken me up. I'm missing him more than anything else in the whole world. I mentally shook myself and told myself off for letting my guard down. There was to be no more thinking about him for a long time, at least not until I'm over it. I turned over onto my side and let myself fall into a dreamless slumber.

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