A/N: Sorry it took so long! Here's chapter 9, with quite a lot of things happening...
Chapter 9
'Well Vasco... are you happy now?' Gil asked bitterly. He had an arm around Neliel's shoulders, and the girl pushed herself to his side, while her fearful eyes followed Ichigo's fight.
Vasco grinned.
'Of course I'm happy! Can't you see? He's finally fighting with no restraints again! Like a maniac! So sweet! We'll have Cayo bow before us in a matter of weeks now!'
Nel looked at him disgusted.
'That's all you care about, isn't it?'
'What more is there? I want the leisurity of being able to live without watching my back... to look down on others from the top spot! Just think about it! Don't you two want that freedom? I'm sure you do! That's why you've struck with him all this time, isn't it? What else motive would you have, choosing to live in his shadow?'
Nel sighed.
'You wouldn't understand...'
They watched as Ichigo finished up the fight, tearing the bodies of two arrancars to pieces without even using his sword. His orange eyes shone out sinisterly from under his mask, and the white skin of his hands was painted crimson with blood. When the last shrieks of his victims died, he turned to face them, throwing away a ripped out arm carelessly.
'Neliel... go...' Gil said, giving her a little push forward, releasing her shoulder.
She gulped.
'All right... I wish Orihime-chan was here now... she's so much better with this...' she stepped tentatively forward, calling: 'Ichigo?'
Ichigo raised his shining eyes at her. They were wild. Gil tensed behind Neliel, and even Vasco stepped closer so they could protect her if things got out of hand.
Ichigo released a monstrous, out of control cry. It felt rather sad and defeated instead of victorious.
'Ichigo... the fight's over. Please... come back! Come home with us!' Nel begged.
He eyed the three of them heavily. Vasco's hand traveled in the direction of his zanpakuto, as subtle as he could make it. But Ichigo just turned his back on them, and left, disappearing in the distance.
'Oh, Ichigo...' Nel said softly, tears gathering in her eyes.
Gil rushed forward to embrace her again. He was no longer jealous of the place Ichigo occupied in Nel's heart, since she still somehow found place for him too. Maybe she had shifted her affections for Ichigo to be more sisterly-like. And Gil cherished a brotherly love of his own for their leader, so he could understand that better than anyone.
'Let's go home. He'll be back once he cooled down. As always.'
Nel brushed at her eyes impatiently.
'Last time it took three days... and it's getting worse. Maybe...' she said scowling.
'No. We mustn't interfere.' Gil said firmly. 'It's their business.'
'Yeah. I know.' she sighed. 'It's only... that I've known Ichi as a human... He was almost like that again, with her by his side... and I... I miss that...'
Gil smiled at her. Neliel was just the most amazing woman he knew.
…...
Ichigo sat alone on top of a huge boulder. He had long ago calmed down. Even his mask couldn't keep his misery away any more, so there was no use in keeping it on. He remembered Neliel's begging words: '...please come back! Come home with us!' and felt guilty that he was making her worry. But he was not entirely sure he had a place called HOME here any more. It didn't feel like home, not without Orihime.
He sighed. He simply hated feeling so empty and miserable. But he remained secure that he had done the right thing. He had taken her back where she belonged, she would surely began to heal... He couldn't bare the thought that he had tainted her beyond repair with forcing her to remain with him in Hueco Mundo. She would heal with time. Wouldn't she? She simply must...
Her body will heal, and maybe... just maybe even her soul. She will come to realize how much she had foolishly left behind for him, and would never want to return. That would be a good thing, something to rejoice over... So why? Why did the mere thought make him so fucking angry that he wanted to tear, rip and kill anything near?
He feared it, he feared that his control would slip one day, and he would end up visiting her... Just to tell her how much he loved her... To tell her he was sorry... for everything. For kidnapping her in the first place, for wanting her, for needing her, and for betraying her, even if it was for her own good. He wanted to hold her in his arms, just one more time, to see that she wasn't just some friction of his imagination, wasn't just a memory. He wanted to make love to her... and he wanted to sneak his hands around her throat, and take her life, so that she would finally be his, and ease his pains away.
This last though scared him. And it showed more than anything how right he had been in parting with her. He told himself to always remember this: he couldn't be sure when his hollow instincts would overpower his more human-like mind. He mustn't let his guard down, not for one minute!
'If only I knew she was all right... Maybe she hates me now, for denying her the chance of saying goodby. Maybe she feels the same pain as I do. And there is nothing I can do to help. But... what if she doesn't?'
Suddenly he could see it before him. Orihime, walking down Karakura's streets, with a blue sky above, and a happy smile on her face. He could almost hear her carefree laughter, carried away by the gentle wind. She raised her hand to wave at somebody across the street, and at first Ichigo thought it was Tatsuki. But then he realized it was a man. A faceless stranger...
Unbidden, a menacing growl erupted from his chest, deep and vibrating, and the pain constricting his chest seemed to double. He realized that he was drawing in air too fast, and with much force willed himself to calm down. When he somewhat achieved that, he forced his mind to return to this hateful image, and analyze the truth it held with more objectively. Because it was true: Orihime would be more all right with ANY faceless stranger, provided him didn't have a hole through his chest... Was he really so selfish and cruel to take away the chance of living the full life she deserved from her, even if it was not with him?
Suddenly his more deep instincts gave a warning that he should give the outside world some attention, and he turned his attention outward. His senses registered the drawing near spiritual pressure. He waited, until the newcomer arrived within earshot.
'Chad? Is that you?'
'Ichigo.'
He stood up quickly, and approached his former friend, happiness and appreciation waring inside him.
'Chad! How come you're here? Something happened? What news do you bring?'
Chad saw his agitation, and gave him a half smile, though his posture remained stiff.
'It's all right. Nothing new happened. I just fancied a talk.'
Ichigo relaxed, and returned his smile with one of his own. Chad stepped up next to him, and they both let their eyes sweep the sand-dunes before them, letting a few seconds of silence linger.
'I think you should come and see Inoue-san... you two need to talk.' Chad finally began in his always straightforward manner. 'I tried to talk to Urahara-san about Soul Society granting you a few hours of safe visiting time...'
When he finished his speech Chad turned to take a good look at Ichigo's face, trying to read from the expression of his eyes that were shining orange once more now that Orihime's constant presence weren't taming his spirit.
'How is she?' Ichigo asked in a bitter voice, that conveyed how much he was fearing the answer.
'Not too well...'
Ichigo walked forward a little, buried in his own dark thoughts. It took a long time before he turned. His face was set.
'Chad... I need a favor to ask of you. I'll give you a letter to take it to Urahara. I've made up my mind...'
Thinking that his friend meant he's going to comply with his wish, Chad's heart eased...
…...
'Rukia Kuchiki?'
'Yes? I'm here!'
'Post for you, ma'am!'
Rukia looked curious as she put her sword down, and swept the sweat from her brows. Renji, her sparing partner for the day just stood opposite her, letting his blade rest on his shoulders with a grin.
'Ah... don't tell me you have secret admirers, your Highness!' he mocked.
This earned him a dark glare, but he wasn't intimidated. He even snickered for Ikkaku's and Kira's benefit, who were also practicing their fighting skills next to them.
Rukia studied the formal address on the envelope with furrowed brows. Her name, rank and division in capital letters, but no consigner. There was a signet though which indicated that the letter came from the human world, via Urahara's shop. Renji looked at her serious face as she studied the letter's front.
'Oh, come on... It must be some real interesting intelligence to make you this put on...' he teased farther. 'Let me see it too!' and he went to step behind Rukia, who was already folding out the paper from inside the envelope.
The raven haired soul reaper's eyes widened upon seeing the message. Her face paled, and she had to lick her lips against their sudden dryness...
'What the hell...?' Renji asked confused. 'Can't make heads or tails of this... Just who sends you stuff like this? And why is it full of freaking bunnies scattered between the kanjis?'
Rukia's eyes began to move fast, studying the letter intently. Then she quickly folded it, and stuffed it away into her kimono.
'Let's continue, Renji!' she said firmly.
'But...' the red-head protested, looking confused.
'It's none of your business, Renji. I said let's continue the sparing!'
Renji looked at her face suspiciously, but she now wore a neutral expression, and except for the anger directed at him, Renji could read no more of her emotions. But still, he felt an uneasy feeling settle in the pit of his stomach somehow...
…...
'Orihime!'
Orihime woke up in her bed, dabbing at her tired eyes with her knuckles.
'Who is it?' she asked distractedly.
'It's me... Neliel!'
'Nel-chan? But... how come you're here?'
'Never mind that now, Orihime! Please! Ichigo! I think... I think he's about to do something really stupid!'
…...
Rukia neared the familiar building with her heart beating wildly. The light of the half moon basked the friendly site in a pure silver light, making the railings nearly glow. She landed on the roof. He was already there, waiting for her. She was vaguely reminded of their first time here, having lunch with Keigo and Mizuiro. That was when she had trouble opening her very first box of orange juice, and he had so casually helped her out, wearing his famous scowl. For some reason that little moment got struck in her mind, and she treasured it ever since. Just because it was so like Ichigo not to even notice how nice he was being to others, while doing everything to keep the frightening "punk" facade...
But that Ichigo, the Ichigo she knew, her friend, her comrade in arms, her soul mate in many things was no more. This man before her was a different being, foreign, unpredictable and dangerous... The letter he had sent her, calling her here had chilled her. Even though Chad and Ishida had told her how Orihime's presence and her choice of remaining with him have turned him more human-like than what they ever would have expected, it still made goosebumps appear on her arms to receive such a letter from him. He had used the same code she had made up herself when leaving him to take responsibility for her crime of giving him her powers. That he remembered even something that trivial from his human life seemed incomprehensible. (Even more incomprehensible that he would indeed resort to drawing bunnies...) It made some unbidden warmth light up a special corner of her heart... She told herself she had to be careful, but after much hesitation and debating with herself, she decided to come, and give him this chance. She just needed to know what he would want from her. From her of all people...
Rukia watched him pushing himself forward from the railings behind him. Everything seemed like an upside-down version of how things used to be, with it being night instead of day. He moved with slow, measured steps, coming nearer, clearly not wanting to scare her.
'Hi... Rukia.'
'Ichigo!' she answered, not managing to keep the bitterness out of her voice completely.
'You've come. And alone, as I asked. I'm grateful. Don't worry, I mean you no harm, and to nobody else...'
'What a place to choose for a meeting...' she commented, trying to scowl to hide her emotions. 'Really... the school roof?'
'I figured it would be abandoned at this time of day.'
'Ah.'
'I know very well that we have only little time before Soul Society picks up my trail, and a special task force appears. So... I'll get to the point quickly.' he took a big breath, and his hand flied to his nape with a well-practiced move.
Rukia noticed the familiar signs of uneasiness on him, and it was hard to fight the building up concern.
'What is it?' she asked.
He smiled strained.
'I need your help with something... something big. And I'm sorry! So sorry! If there was anybody else... but I feel like you're the only one I can bare this with. Anyway... what I'm trying to tell you is, that I'm decided.'
He finished, and just looked at her. His orange eyes held hers firmly, trying to communicate the rest. A chill ran through Rukia's body.
'Decided?' she asked confused, and a little fearfully.
'Rukia. What I mean is that I want you to cleanse me.' he said simply, quite quietly.
Silence fell on them while she processed his request. Then...
'WHAT? YOU...YOU CALL ME HERE IN A DAMN FREAKING LETTER... ASKING ME THIS?'
She looked so enraged that he instinctively took a step back.
'Hey... hey! Isn't this the responsible thing to do? I mean... what else would you expect of me now? Geez!' he tried to reason.
'Responsible my ***...' she cursed, but then sighed, shaking her head. 'Why?'
'Orihime.' he replied firmly. 'She... she just can't go on with her life, while I'm around. No matter in what form. I must pass on completely to free her. Us being together like this just doesn't want to work out... it makes her suffer, no matter how hard I try.'
'Ichigo...' Rukia said, touched. Then she collected herself. 'But what I meant was: why me?'
'I know that you're the only person I can accept this from... and... you were the one originally giving me soul reaper powers...'
'So I must finish what I started?' she asked, feeling her eyes heat up. Damn those human-like tears were breaking her again!
'No. Of course you have a choice. But I'm asking you to do this. In memory of our friendship.'
Rukia shook her head, and the crystal clear drops flied in all direction.
'You don't know... how hard I would find your request!'
'I'm sorry.' he said sincerely.
'And Orihime... she'll be devastated.'
'Maybe for a while... but her friends will be beside her. You'll be able to tell her that it's all for the best.'
Rukia brushed her eyes clean, a new resolve hardening her features.
'Yes. And I'll tell her how her love saved you... because apparently it did.'
They smiled at each other.
As she watched his familiar, slightly sad and apologetic smile, Rukia thought about her Kaien-dono.
'I'm not afraid any more... It will be different this time. I'm not defending myself right now. And I can see that it's really his wish... Thank you, Ichigo!' she thought.
Ichigo looked up to the night sky, giving the crescent of the moon above a silent farewell. He finally felt some peace inside him. At least his sufferings would be over soon. He would remember nothing to torment him, in only minutes. He only wished he could see Orihime one last time. But he knew that would be foolish, and would ruin everything. He was sure he wouldn't be able to go through with his plan, if he came close to her again. So he must settle for feeling out to touch her sweet spiritual pressure longingly. Even that brought on an ache so bad it made him kind of glad he finally found a way to be rid of it...
'Ready?' Rukia asked gently, studying him.
'Yes.'
Ichigo knelt down before her. She took her sword into her shaking hands. She lifted it before him, and he placed his hand on the blade, directing it's tip to where his heart should be. They looked at each other, both realizing that the move was almost the same as that very first move that made their fortunes to be intertwined...
'It was a pleasure knowing you, Rukia Kuchiki!'
'And you... Ichigo Kurosaki.'
He closed his eyes.
And right then, even though his name have changed now, it felt so right for her to address him like that. He though that at that moment, he had no other, no greater wish in the whole wide world than wishing he could be Ichigo Kurosaki again...
As soon as he thought this, his eyes snapped open.
Inside his mind, everything suddenly fell into place. Light glinted up the shadowy corners, and all became clear, enlightenment being born in an instant.
Rukia kept a firm hold on the handle of her sword, but didn't move. She was still waiting for a sign from him, as on that fateful night years ago. That time, it had been him who moved her blade first, and she wowed it would be just like that now. His hand suddenly gripped her sword more tightly. But didn't yank it forward. It stayed it. Rukia looked at him, and saw that his eyes were open, shock being mirrored in them.
The next moment he started cursing. She almost jumped it was so violent, and unexpected. Then just as abruptly as he started screaming in rage, he stopped. His voice when he spoke next was more calm, but utterly bitter.
'Of course. So painfully clear now. How have I failed to see this before...'
'Ichigo? What are you... I don't understand!'
'Everything... all of it... this was planned. Every suffering! Mine... my family's... my friends'... Orihime's every tear... It was all for this moment! So I would come to this realization. So neat... and inhumanly cruel! Like an experiment...'
'What...?'
Somebody started clapping behind their backs. They both turned to see Urahara standing there casually, striped hat, wooden sandals and everything.
'Congratulations! Never thought you had it in you...'
'Urahara...' Ichigo greeted darkly, releasing Rukia's sword, and standing up, facing the scientist with gritted teeth.
Urahara walked close to them, and studied Ichigo through narrowed, speculating eyes.
'Must say I would have been kind of disappointed if you hadn't figured this out. It would have been such a dull ending for you... This way, it's way more interesting... So... the question is... what will you do now?'
…...
'Orihime! Please! Not so fast!'
Uryu tried to plead. But Orihime just ran forward, not caring about her condition, about anything. She felt his presence, and also Rukia's... and it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. She knew Ichigo. She knew what he must have in mind. But she wouldn't let it happen! No! She just couldn't bare it! She won't loose him again! Not if she can help it!
Uryu looked at her set features and the determination shining in her eyes with an aching heart. He knew, that just like that time, he'll probably regret what he was about to propose.
'Orihime! Stop... I'll... I'll take you there by hirenkaru...'
She stopped. Her face was ashen colored, even after all the running. But she smiled a little smile of gratitude.
'Thank you, Uryu...'
…...
They arrived. Uryu put Orihime down, as gently as he could, and as soon as her feet touched the ground, she began running forward again. She spotted a figure sitting on the floor, alone, being hunched up.
'Rukia! Rukia!' Orihime cried desperately.
The soul reaper raised her head. Her expression was lost, broken, confused. Tear-stains ran down from her eyes. Orihime felt her heart break.
'No! Rukia! Please! Where is Ichigo! Rukia!'
It took a moment before she answered. Orihime and Uryu could see her fighting the confusion and hurt inside her, and this simply broke Orihime's heart. She dreaded the answer she was about to hear. 'It's too late...' an inner voice whispered to her.
'In Soul Society...' Rukia finally said.
Orihime fell down to her knees next to her.
'No!' she moaned. 'That just... can't be!'
Rukia lifted her eyes to her, her violet orbs suddenly clearing out.
'Yes, he is in Soul Society... but I didn't send him.'
Uryu tensed hearing this.
'What do you mean?' he asked sharply.
'What she means my good Quincy...' Urahara said, once again appearing behind their backs. '… is that Ichigo went to Soul Society still being a hollow. And the one who let him go was me.'
'Urahara!' Uryu cried, looking at the shopkeeper as though he had lost it. 'What are you saying?'
'And I suggest you go after him as soon as possible, if you feel like it...' Urahara added. 'I already called Sado-kun too. You must decide.'
'Decide what?' Uryu asked, baffled.
Urahara turned to Orihime.
'How are you feeling? Are you up to the journey?'
She stood up straight.
'Tell me what to do, Urahara-san!'
'Orihime!' Rukia suddenly exclaimed looking at her wide eyed.
She smiled back sadly, putting a hand over her now exposed, rounding belly protectively.
'Yes... it's true. I'm going to have a baby... his baby. And he doesn't even know.'
…...
A/N: Hope everything is as clear as I would expect it to be at this point. What do you expect will happen now? What's Ichigo's big discovery? Why did he go to Soul Society? Please review, I desperately want to know your thoughts! (I will answer questions, unless they are plot-spoilers.)
