Okay, I was wrong. Mom's not taking me home with her like I thought she would. She's taking me to work. She says that if I wanted to stay here, I'd have to tell Dad. Great. It's either tell Dad or go back to him and face him. The place isn't half as good as what I thought it'd be, but anything better than going back to Dad when I'm sure he'd be pissed. And if my mom's here and knew to tell those patrollers not to scrap me, the Force must've put me here for a good reason.
I asked Mom why she never talked to me. She said she was a Jedi healer. First a healer of people and then a healer of worlds. When she heard that things were happening here, she came back. Here, at home. That's what she said word for word. She said that when she decided to come back, only Corellian citizens were allowed back in and she couldn't let Ben… I mean Dad… suffer with her and Dad couldn't hear of letting me come here away from him and she didn't want me to see Corellia 'til she fixed it up, so she gave me to Dad as soon as I was born. She said it's all cuz this world's her home, but I've no clue how she could pick it over me an' Dad, especially me.
She asked me if I had anything I loved so much that I'd protect it with my life. Of course not. That's loving something more than myself. Then she said that she was sure that I'd find that something or someone one day. Oookay…
Anyhow, she said it's Corellia and family for her. Guess she doesn't think of me as family. Huh.
You know, Mom's not like Dad at all. I can feel her and I know she's not even trying to hide anything cuz… like I said before, I just know stuff like this. Well, I suppose since I wasted all of the effort coming here, I may as well tell Dad that I'm staying a bit and ask Mom everything I can come up with. She feels all mushy, but don't get me wrong. I know it sounds like she feels like a kid in the Force and I know what that's like. She's like a lady, but I can read her emotions and it's like she loves this place but she's also… tired. I'm not sure that's how I should describe it, but it's close enough.
Mom looked like she was going to cry when she talked about choosing between family and home. She said that the worst was telling Dad that she didn't know if she could even fix up this dump in her lifetime and that she couldn't leave 'til she did and then begging him to go back to Ossus.
Then she started talking about flying. She said she was about sixteen when she tried her first starfighter and hated it. How could she hate it? It's not like there was any border patrol to shoot her down, right? She said that flying in the dark was the worst. Come on now, don't ya love popping up on people when they can't see ya? It's so kriffing fun to scare 'em outta their wits.
Mom told me it's not a good feeling to be scared. I suppose she's got a point there.
