'So,' Dumbledore said 'how are you?'

Remus shifted uncomfortably on his chair, remembering how many times during his school years he had sat there, on that very same chair, trying to find an answer to the very same question Dumbledore had just posed.

'Everything is all right' he said slowly 'Everything is all right' he repeated, like if he were trying to convince himself.

'Are you sure? Isn't there anything particular that you want to tell me?'

Remus shook his head.

'About Black?'

Remus shook his head more firmly.

'And what about Harry? Harry Potter?'

'Harry Potter?' Remus stammered, trying to avoid Dumbledore's penetrating look 'Well... he's a very gifted young boy. Very intelligent and...'

'Remus' Dumbledore said looking at him and Remus blushed a bit, thinking how strange it was that for a moment Dumbledore's tone had reminded him of Sirius' one. He looked at his hands that were on the desk.

'Remus' Dumbledore said again.

'When I met him for the first time, on that train' Remus said slowly, without rising his look from his hands 'I thought it was James. I was sure it was James. Stupid from me'

'No, it's not stupid. He incredibly looks like James. Except for his eyes'

'Lily's eyes...' Remus said.

'When Hagrid met him he had no idea how his parents looked like... he had never seen a picture of them' Dumbledore said.

Remus didn't rise his head and kept staring at his hands.

'He saw them in the Mirror of Erised in his first year, did you know that?' he continued.

Remus shook his head and a small smile appeared on his lips.

'The Mirror of Erised... is it still at Hogwarts?' he asked.

Dumbledore nodded.

'I encountered it when I was seventeen' he said, slowly rising his head.

He looked at Dumbledore.

'I had always imagined what I would have seen since the first time I read about it. Then James encountered it... he saw Lily' he added with a smile '... and... Sirius' the smile immediately disappeared 'And I had always tried to imagine what I would see. I was sure it would have been a life without being a werewolf. A life where I had never been bitten by Greyback' he smiled again.

'Did you see what you expected?' Dumbledore asked.

'Yes and no' Remus said.


The Mirror. There it was.

Just like he had read in the books. Just like James and Sirius had said. The Mirror of Erised.

He smiled and brethed deeply.

He was sure he was going to see a different life, a life he had never had: a life where Greyback had never bitten him, changing his life forever.

He wasn't sure he could handle it. He wasn't sure he could see what that bite had stolen from his forever..

'I'm a Marauder' he reminded himself 'I won't be scared by a stupid Mirror'

He looked inside.

At first there was no difference. It was just him, maybe a little bit older than he was, but not that much. And then he saw another person close to him. He glared at him and much to his disbelief he realised who it was: Snape. Snape, who had a big smile on his face (Remus had never seen such a big smile on his face) and had a bottle in his hand, which was handing to Remus.

No word was spoken.

But Remus realised what was going on.And a small tear appeared on the corner of his eye. A tear of happiness.


'I was a werewolf, but Snape had found the antidote against lycanthropy and was giving it to me. I would have recovered'

'Why does this difference matter so much to you?' Dumbledore asked.

'It's totally different! I wanted to go through all those years of fear and grief and loneliness again. I wanted to go through it. My biggest wish wasn't to cancel that bite' he tried to explain.

'Why?'

'Because... because that grief, that loneliness had shaped me into the person I was. And when I was seventeen I liked being myself. My friends liked me and accepted me just in the way I was. I didn't want to cancel that bite because if I had cancelled it I would have changed myself. I would have been a totally different person. Maybe I wouldn't have befriended James, Peter and... James and Peter. I would have been another person'

'You liked being yourself' Dumbledorr said thoughtfully.

'I liked being myself. I had friends, I had respect, I loved my life. Even though I knew that it would have been difficult, I was sure I would have had a shining future. I wanted a wife, a family, a good job. And most of all, I wanted to stay with my friends forever' Remus bowed his head again, and Dumbledore saw a small tear falling from his eyes.

'The years in school have been the best of my life. They made them amazing and exhilarating. But now...' he paused.

'What do you think you would see now, Remus? Do you still like being yourself?' Dumbledore asked.

Remus rose his head.

'I don't care about being myself. I don't care about living anymore' he replied slowly.

'Remus...' Dumbledore said.

'I'd see them. I'd see myself giving my life so they could live even just one more day of life. I'd see them. Because they were the ones who made my life worth living and it's just not right that I lived and they fell. It's just not right'

He put his head in his hands and began crying.

Dumbledore looked at him.

'You know what?'

'What?' Remus said rising his head and looking at the old Headmaster, his face covered with tears.

'This is one of those times... of those few times... when I really have nothing to say'

'I haven't had anything to say for twelve years' Remus replied.

They exchanged a long look and Dumbledore tried to find in his face the traces of the time when he had happily laughed with his best friends.

But he couldn't find them. They had disappeared twelve years earlier.


I wonder if it hurts to live

And if they have to try,

And whetever, could they choose between,

They would not rather die

Emily Dickinson

A/N Hello everybody!!! This chapter was so difficult to write, even because I've been ill (nothing serious, just some flue), and I'm not totally satisfied with it. What do you think? Please, REVIEW, your opinions are important.