Anakin stood wrapped in his thick brown cloak, chin to his chest, hood up, staring down at the deck below his feet. He didn't feel the chill, or the wind. He didn't hear the whine of the Chancellor's private shuttle angling in for a landing, or smell the swirls of brown smog coiling along the wind. What he saw were the faces of Senators who had stood on this deck to cheer for him.
What he heard were exclamations of joy and congratulations when he returned from his most recent battles. There was a memory. Pride over the fact he was being the focus of so many eager HoloNet crews, anxious to get even the slightest glimpse of the man who had survived going toe to toe with dreadnaughts.
How many days ago had that been?
He couldn't remember.
It had been around the time of the Outer Rim Expeditions, but it could have been before a few battles took place in the Mid Rim.
When one didn't sleep, days would smear together turning into a thick haze of fatigue so deep it becomes a physical pain. The Force could keep him upright, keep him moving, keep him thinking, but it could not give him rest. It couldn't rejuvenate his mind and body like sleep could. Not that he wanted rest. Rest might bring sleep. What sleep might bring, he didn't want to even know.
Black smog-like dust swirled under the shuttle's repulsors as it settled to the deck. There was a high pitched whine. The hatch cycled open, and four of Palpatine's personal guards glided out, long robes catching the breeze in silken blood colored ripples. They split into two pairs to flank the doors as the Chancellor emerged beside the tall, bulky form of Mas Amedda, the so called Speaker of the Senate.
The Chagrian's horns tilted over Palpatine as they walked together, seemingly deep in conversation. Anakin moved forward to meet them. His eyes never left Palpatine, but they did stray from the thing beside him.
"Chancellor." Anakin said, bowing a greeting.
Amedda turned back to Palpatine, and Anakin's polite smile faded to a twist of pure contempt. Maybe he was just overtired, or reading into something too much, but somehow, looking at the curlings of the Chagrian's naked head tentacles as they twisted across his chest, he found himself raring to run him through with his blade. Something about the Speaker of the Senate was so revolting that Anakin could see himself slicing his head into five different pieces.
It gradually dawned on Anakin that Palpatine was shooing the repulsive creature away with mild laughter and was sending the red robes with him. Anakin wasn't in the mood to play games. By themselves, they could talk straight with each other. A little straight talk might be just what he needed. A little straight talk might burn through the fog of half-truths and subtle confusions that the Jedi Council had poured into his head recently and the dark haze of the war that was consuming everything.
That was giving him nightmares.
"Anakin, it's good to see you." Palpatine said as the others moved away, "Have you seen your friend off?"
Anakin shook his head. "He leaves soon. His departure was delayed. If I didn't hate Grievous so much, I'd almost feel sorry for him. He can have twenty arms and legs, but he'll never break through my Master's guard."
"Oh?" Palpatine appeared mildly interested. "Are Jedi allowed to hate?"
"Figure of speech."
"Is it, my boy?"
"It doesn't matter how I feel." Anakin said, waving his right hand a few times. "Obi-Wan will soon have his head."
"Provided, of course..." Palpatine murmured, trailing off as he took Anakin's arm to guide him toward the entryway, "If the Jedi Council didn't make a mistake. I still believe Master Kenobi is not the Jedi for this job."
"The Council was very sure in its decision."
"Certainty is a fine thing, I admit." Palpatine conceded.
"So-"
"Though it too often happens that those who are the most entirely certain are also the most entirely wrong. What will the Council do if Kenobi proves unable to apprehend Grievous without your help? or any help for that matter? How can one man take on someone like Grievous? These are uncertain times, and having certainty would be a very fine thing...But, that isn't the case."
"I'm sure I cannot say, sir. I imagine they will deal with that if and when it happens. They have their own way of doing things. The Jedi teach that anticipation is distraction. They would rather react to the situation, than to prep themselves for it."
"I am not a philosopher, Anakin nor do I wish to be or have discussions of philosophy for long stretches. In my line of work, anticipation is my sole hope of success. I must anticipate the actions of my adversaries and even those of my allies. Even my friends. It is the only way I can be prepared to take advantage of opportunity and to avoid disaster."
"But if a disaster comes about by the will of the Force-"
"The will of the Force, Anakin?"
"Yes sir."
"Do you really believe that?"
Anakin frowned, looking at his boots. "Yes sir."
"Really, my boy?"
"Sometimes we can't comprehend the will of the Force or how it acts."
Palpatine observed him carefully. "You believe that because you were taught to so believe?"
Anakin frowned a little, recalling a few times he had come close to dying. "I know through experience. Sometimes it is for the better and sometimes it is for the worse."
"And a person's own actions?"
"They are a factor, of course." Anakin admitted. "But, the Force still influences us."
"I don't believe in the will of the Force. It is our will that matters in my eyes. I believe that everything good in our civilization has come about not by the blind action of some mystical field of energy, nor that field of energy holding an influence over people. It came about by the focused will of people. Lawmakers and warriors inventors and engineers, farmers and merchants. Commoners who struggle to make a mean's at the end of the day. Struggling with every breath of their bodies to shape their own cultures, and in the end, greatly shape galactic culture. To improve the lives of all."
"I can agree with that, but-"
Palpatine frowned. "But, what, Anakin? Let me ask you this then. Was it the will of the Force that compelled the Jedi to accept you? Was it Qui Gon's word of support? Was it Cadus's word of support? Was it the unwavering will of those two men to have you become a Jedi or did the will of the Force just compel the rest of the Council to accept you? Was it the fact you beat Master Cadus in a race, narrowing escaping the Sarlacc's grasp, and need I remind you one your podracer engines were completely blown off?"
"I..." Anakin's frown deepened. "I don't know. I'm sorry. The Jedi, we're taught to surrender to the Force. We don't exert our will."
They stood now before the vaulted door to Palpatine's office.
"Please come in, Anakin. Much as I do not enjoy digressing in a philosophical chat, I am speaking to you...So I can concede this one time, but that was not the reason I asked you to meet me. We have business to discuss, and I fear it may be very serious business."
"Very serious?"
"Indeed."
Anakin followed him through the outer chambers to Palpatine's intimate private office. He took up a respectful standing position opposite Palpatine's desk, but the Chancellor waved him to a chair.
"Please, Anakin. No need for all of the decorum and formalities. We are not among your fellow Jedi and my fellow Senators. Sit, have a seat, anywhere if you like. Make yourself comfortable. Some of this may be difficult for you to hear. Have some brandy if you like."
"Everything seems to be that way, these days," Anakin muttered as he took a seat.
"It concerns Master Kenobi-"
"What about my Master, sir?"
Palpatine was very aware of the defensive, sharp tone Anakin's voice took. "
My friends among the Senators have picked up some... disturbing rumors about him. Many in the Senate believe that Kenobi is not fit for this assignment."
Anakin frowned. "Are you serious? What does that have to do with anything?"
"I'm most serious, I'm afraid. That has to do with a lot, and please try to understand...It is a...Complicated situation, Anakin. It seems there are some in the Senate who now regret having granted me emergency powers."
"With all due respect there have been dissenters and naysayers since before Geonosis, sir. There's been dissenters since I was a little brat running around in youngling robes getting in trouble. Why should it be cause for concern now of all times? It is meaningless. And how does it affect Obi-Wan?"
"I'm getting to that. Patience, Anakin." Palpatine took a deep breath and swung his chair around so that he could gaze through his window of armored transparisteel onto the city-scape beyond.
"The difference is that now, some of these Senators...Actually a large number of them seem to have given up on democracy. Unable to achieve their ends in the Senate, they are organizing into a cabal, preparing to remove me by...Other means."
"You mean treason?" Anakin had enough Jedi discipline to keep his demeanor cool.
"I'm afraid so. The rumor is that the ringleaders of this group may have fallen victim to the...Persuasive powers...Of the Jedi Council, and are on their way to becoming accomplices in the Council's plot against the Republic."
"Sir, I am going to speak bluntly." Anakin shook his head. "This just seems kriffing ridiculous. It is sheer madness, why are you entertaining this!? This is stupid!"
"I have to, Anakin."
"No." Anakin shook his head, pointing at the sky, into the worlds beyond. "The enemy is supposed to be out there! The CIS! The Trade Federation! Now we have enemies within our own ranks!"
"That's possible-"
"Should I assume that the Clone Army is also under some sort of control. That my troopers will turn on me in the heat of battle?"
"Anakin-"
"I want an honest answer, Palpatine. I stake my life out there like everyone else! I will not tolerate betrayal! Not from Troopers. Not from the Jedi. Not even from you!"
"No, no of course not. Relax, my boy. You are getting too worked up. It is a rumor, among many. And it may be entirely false. Remember that these are only rumors. Entirely unconfirmed. Senate gossip is rarely accurate, but you must understand that if this is true...We must be prepared, Anakin. I still have friends enough in the Senate-"
"You were never one for politics."
"It annoys me. It's just another form of confrontation. They only care about their own wealth and interests. They bleed resources dry, just for wealth. It all makes me sick."
"Nonetheless...I still have friends, enough of them to catch the scent of whatever this disloyal cabal is cooking up. And I have a very good idea of who the leaders are; in fact, my final meeting this afternoon is with a delegation representing the cabal. I would like you to be present for that as well."
"Me? What for?"
"Your Jedi senses, Anakin. Your ability to read evil intent. I have no doubt these Senators will put some virtuous facade on their plotting, naturally. Take the moral high ground. Sanctimonious behavior. With your help, we will pierce that veil and discover the truth."
Anakin sighed, rubbing his stinging eyes. "I'm willing to try, sir."
"We won't try, Anakin. There is no trying. Only doing. We will do. After all, they are only Senators. Most of them couldn't hide what they're thinking from a brain-damaged Rancor, let alone one of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy."
"You still haven't told me what this has to do with Obi-Wan."
"That is the difficult part. The disturbing part. It seems that Master Kenobi has been in contact with a certain Senator who is known to be among the leaders of this cabal. If she isn't a part of this cabal, she will be a part of soon. Apparently, he's been in very close contact."
"Who?" Anakin focused his eyes, pressing his hands onto his knees. "Who is this Senator? Let's go question him."
"The Senator in question is, in fact, a her. A woman you know rather well in fact. Questioning her could prove to be problematic since she has..."
"I...You mean..." Anakin trailed off, frowning as he tried to remember.
Palpatine gave him a look of melancholy sympathy. "Do you really not know?"
"I can't think of a woman Obi Wan would be in close contact with." Anakin said, focusing on Palpatine's eyes.
"Why..."
Anakin frowned, observing Palpatine closer. "Why are you wary?"
"Because this woman is a Mandolorian."
"They are our allies?"
"Oh yes. Just like the Prime Minister Lama Su of Kamino was a staunch supporter, only to...Conduct secret projects. The Mandolorians are no different, and we must remember who they really are. What they are really about. They may want to have some reform, but everyone will remember them as cold blooded murderers."
"That's impossible! I would remember...My Master has always maintained his distance when it comes to women. If there was someone in his life like that, I would know. There's no way he'd be able to hide it from me."
"Sometimes the closest...Are those who cannot see. Obi Wan is still a human. A man. He has secrets. He keeps secrets. He has urges." Palpatine murmured, tone sad.
"We don't keep secrets from each other." Anakin said, tone and expression dangerous.
"How can you be so sure?"
"I told him..." Anakin barely whispered. "About that one time..."
"Let's not bring up bad memories, Anakin." Palpatine said, tone gentle. "I just want to make you more aware. I want you to be more aware."
"But..."
Palpatine looked Anakin in the eye. "Then...Answer me this. Who would he say is your family? The Jedi? Or, your mother?"
Anakin sat back, stunned. His ears rang, and the room whirled around him. He didn't want to even thing about that. "I would remember this woman. If she was truly able to get close with my Master, I would remember her. I had to have seen her once at least."
"Don't take it too hard." Palpatine said with a wave of his hand. "It may be only idle gossip."
"Sir, I grow tired of hearing about the Senate. If I didn't know any better, I would say they are being steered into this, though they are by no means innocent. They are diving headfirst into whatever who or what is causing all of this chaos. I would even say you are enjoying it."
"All this may be only a figment of my imagination. These years of war have been long and arduous, I find myself inspecting every shadow that might hide an enemy. I am sure the Jedi are no different. Masters Yoda and Windu grow weary and more cautious as the days pass, and...That is what I need from you, Anakin."
"You want me to talk to those two?"
"Naturally, I do not. That is a waste of time. I need you to find the truth. To put me at ease."
Anakin found the strength to rise to his feet.
"I can do that, at the very least."
"Good, Anakin. I knew I could count on you."
"Always, sir. Always."
"You should probably depart while you can. Obi Wan will be off soon." Palpatine mused, smiling. "I enjoyed this, Anakin."
The last of the hovertanks, T2-B Repulsor Tanks, and 2-M Hovertanks whirred up the ramp into the infinite wedge of the Star Destroyer. It was followed by rank upon immaculately regimented rank of clone troopers, marshaled by battalions, followed by three regiments, falling just behind by three divisions, marching perfectly.
Standing alongside Obi-Wan on the landing deck, Anakin watched them go with a somber gaze. He hadn't seen so many troopers in a while. His missions as of late had been taken alone, without the assistance of troopers or Jedi. He hadn't been with a squad or region. He hadn't been with a field army. In some aspect he enjoyed it, but seeing it now...
He couldn't quite make himself believe he wasn't going along. It wasn't that he really wanted to go with Obi-Wan to Utapau—even though it'd be a relief to pull out of the political strife on Coruscant that was sucking everyone down. But how could he leave Palpatine now? He didn't even care anymore about being the Jedi to capture Grievous, though such a feat would certainly build his reputation.
There was a cold void in his chest that he was afraid would soon fill with regret, and grief. Of course there was no chance at all that Obi-Wan wouldn't go. Obi Wan was the last Jedi in the galaxy to defy an order of the Council. This wasn't the first time, Anakin found himself wishing that Obi-Wan could be a little more like the late Qui-Gon and Cadus.
Though he'd known Qui-Gon for mere days, Anakin could almost see him right now, brow furrowing as he gently inclined his head over his shorter Padawan. He could almost hear his gentle baritone instructing Obi-Wan to be mindful of the currents of the living Force. To do one's duty is not always to do right. Concern yourself with right action. Let duty take care of itself.
But he couldn't say that.
Though he'd passed his trials many months ago...In Obi-Wan's eyes...He was still the learner, not the Master.
"I have a really bad feeling about this. I feel like someone is pulling strings..."
Obi-Wan watched a clone deck crew load his blue-and-white starfighter onto the Star Destroyer's landing platforms.
"I'm sorry, Anakin. Did you just say you're worried?"
"You're going to need me on this one, Master."
"It may be nothing but a wild bantha chase." Obi-Wan said.
"All of those troopers?"
Obi Wan could concede. "Your job here is much more important, Anakin."
"I know. The Sith. Darth Sidious. Master Manipulator. Manipulating the entire senate..."
The whole thing left a bitter taste in Anakin's mouth.
The Council's manipulation had a rank stench of politics on it and it made him sick to his stomach.
He just got done with a similar conversation with Palpatine and having to hear about it again so soon made him want to send the nearest speeder into the Grand Concourse building where all those vile scum gathered.
"Anakin..."
"I just...I don't like you going off without me like this. It's a bad idea to split us up. I mean, look what happened last time. Last time they split us up I was trapped on a planet with Dooku for three months, and you had to fend off Greivous, Ventress, and their combined armies for two months straight."
"Don't remind me."
"You want to go spend another few months with those two again? Or worse?"
"Anakin."
Anakin could hear a gentle smile in Obi-Wan's voice.
But, it did nothing to pacify him.
"Why didn't you remain more firm with the Council, Master? Even with you and I, Grievous is extremely formidable. Palpatine insisted that I go with. This is a gross oversight. We should focus on ending the war, not about politics of who and what does this and that. Something is wrong here, I don't know what, but something is wrong..."
"Don't worry, Anakin. I have enough clones to take twelve systems the size of Utapau's. I believe I should be able to handle the situation, even without your help."
Anakin smirked for a second. "Well, there's always a first time for everything. I've had to pull you out more than a dozen times now."
"Consider us even on that. For those two times."
"Excuse me?"
"The assassin who went after Padme. And, how could you forget the time with that drunken mob that tried to steal your lightsaber? We're not really splitting up, Anakin. We've worked on our own many times—like when you guarded Bail's family on Alderaan, and the time with your voyage to Yavin 4. while I went to Kamino, and Mandalore and Geonosis."
"And remember how every one of those situations turned out. Disasters, every single one of them."
"All right, bad examples." Obi-Wan admitted, his smile shading towards regret.
"It's not funny, Master." Anakin almost hissed, growing angry. "There is nothing funny about any of this or anything to smile about!"
"Sorry, I try to look for the silver lining."
"I don't see a silver lining."
"Forgive me, I am being too lighthearted..." Obi Wan admitted, sighing softly. "You've been on guard a long time, Anakin."
"I have to. Friends turn out to be enemies and people you thought you could count on stab you in the back."
"Yet years later, here we all are. Still alive, and we are still friends. My point, Anakin, is that even when we work separately, we work together. We have the same goals. End the war, and save the Republic from the Sith. As long as we're on the same side, everything will come out well in the end. I'm certain of it. We are separate in body, but through the Force-we are always together."
"Well..." Anakin sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I suppose you could be right..."
Obi Wan laughed. "It's a 90 to 10 split with you and I."
"You are right, once in a while. That time on Mygeeto doesn't count."
"Hardly fair. I had to pull you out twice on that occasion."
"Just like I had to pull you out thrice on two of the Cato worlds."
Obi-Wan chuckled and clapped him on the shoulder, managing to smile. "Farewell, old friend."
"Master, wait." Anakin turned to face him fully. Anakin got a sinking feeling he might not get another chance to see Obi Wan or even speak to him. If he did, he got the feeling it was going to be bad.
"Master...I know I've...I don't want you to forget that your friendship means everything to me. You are the closest thing I have to a father and I..."
I love you like a brother.
Obi-Wan gripped Anakin's mechanical hand, and with his other he squeezed Anakin's arm above the joining of flesh and metal.
"You are wise and strong, Anakin. You are a credit to the Jedi Order, and you have far surpassed my humble efforts at instruction."
Anakin felt his expression fall. "Just the other day, you were saying that my power is no credit to me."
"Power is meaningless without morals to guide the person who wields great power. I speak of your kind and open heart. The greatness in you is a greatness of spirit. Courage and generosity, compassion and commitment. Resolve and mercy. These are your virtues. You have done so many great things. You have saved many lives. I know you will save more. I am very proud of you, I couldn't be more proud of you."
Anakin found he had nothing to say.
He could only bow his head in gratitude.
Master...
"Well...I guess this is it, for now." Obi-Wan trailed off, looking down, chuckling, releasing Anakin's hand and arm.
"I believe I hear General Grievous calling my name crunching those talons of his. And, I can't leave a ill thought out, hastily planned trap go to waste, now can I?"
Anakin smirked before laughing.
"Droids."
"Good-bye, old friend. May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you as well, Master." Anakin stood, still and silent, and watched Obi-Wan walk away.
Then he turned and slowly, head hanging, moved toward his speeder.
There was a sorrow in his heart, that he knew, would come back to haunt him and erupt. So, he only watched Obi Wan walk away, and through the smog and haze of everything going on...
Anakin could see that Obi Wan was light.
"Master!" He shouted.
Obi Wan was far, but he could still hear him.
He turned, eyes shining in the dim of the night.
"Don't take your sweet time hunting him down. Reduce him to spare parts and return as fast as possible!"
Obi Wan nodded.
"That is one thing I plan on doing." Obi Wan told himself.
He too, could feel the same sorrow in his heart that Anakin felt.
And, he couldn't suppress it.
