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ENTROPY


Chapter 9: Eat Your Greens

Unless you learn to face danger head-on...you won't last a second against me!


Sans woke up one afternoon and couldn't remember Gaster's name.

It took three hours of diving into the notes he kept in his lab, of reading the name "Gaster" over and over to make it stick in his skull again. W.D. Gaster. The Royal Scientist before Alphys. He had fallen into the Core and been shattered. Doctor Gaster.

Sans sat for awhile on the floor of his lab, surrounded by scattered notes and blueprints, the heels of his hands pressed to his eyesockets. It was slipping away. It had been ever since he stepped out of the time machine. He folded his hands in front of his mouth and peered across the room to where it stood, currently sitting in a corner of his lab and covered with a tarp. The more time passed, the more it all faded. It was a constant fight not to forget.

If he forgot Gaster, he would forget the rest of it. The good parts, the bad parts, the true consequences of a Reset. He would forget that the timeline was a fractured mess that still needed repairing. He would forget the figure that still haunted his dreams, lurking in the dark, still waiting for a lapse in diligence.

How long had it been now? Three years? Four?

W.D. Gaster. The Royal Scientist. Shattered. Gaster, Sans, an entire science division. Physicists, chemists, magic technicians, engineers. And three of them working on Reset. Sans, Gaster and…

Doctor...he had been a lizard monster. Green scales. Alphys's father. It began with a B. Sans scrubbed at his face.

"Just think. Come on, think. Don't forget."

He cast around for the old photograph of them, but it was somewhere in the mess of papers around him. Desperate, he grabbed a blank piece of paper and a pen instead.

"Me, Gaster and…"

Sans was no artist by any stretch of the imagination, but right now it didn't matter. He sketched three figures on the paper-one tall, one average, one small. Funny how that had worked out. He finished drawing a few headspines on the medium monster and paused.

"B...Betas. Dr. Betas."

He sighed in relief, shoulders sagging. It felt like a feat, almost, as if he had just run a marathon. It was exhausting.

Gaster, Sans and Betas. Sans peered at his handiwork, unimpressed. It was hard to tell who the three figures even were. As an afterthought he wrote don't forget in the corner.

The lab was a mess. He couldn't exactly rely on Papyrus to clean this one up. Sans hauled himself to his feet, bones creaking slightly. He started gathering up all the papers and blueprints, finally digging out the photographs from under the piles. It was high time he reorganized this place. He hadn't been in the lab in two, three weeks, and hadn't even touched the machine for even longer. Alphys had been so busy lately, and thinking of trying to tackle the damn thing himself was tiring.

"Not over till it's over," he muttered as he sorted the papers into piles on the workbench. "Not over till the timeline is fixed. Fix Gaster, fix the machine, fix the timeline."

There was hope left. There had to be. He just had to hold on tighter, keep it from slipping away. He could afford to be lazy about...well, everything else in his life, but he had to keep his focus on this. Had to stay determined.

Hilarious.

It was his day off, so Sans spent the rest of the day in the lab, organizing the place and throwing himself back into his work. He reread his old notes, jotted down a few equations, sorted through a couple decent ideas. The machine was still as broken as always, but he had been debating whether it would be possible to temporarily repurpose some parts of the machine. There were pieces of it that still worked, systems that could theoretically be redirected. The timeline was fractured, but Sans had never been able to know just how fractured-all he'd had to go on was observation. But there had to be some kind of way to use the time machine to actually analyze the timeline itself. Somewhere in the navigation system should be a ton of data generated and consolidated during its maiden voyage. It was just a matter of getting that data out, and using it to generate new reports of the timeline.

Sans had a few ideas that might work. By the time he started pulling out and reconnecting wires, he happened to glance at a clock. It was later than he'd thought. Papyrus hadn't come home yet-Sans would have heard him tromping around upstairs otherwise. What was today? Papyrus had his sentry shift, and then...was he practicing with Undyne today? They had been at that for awhile now, and Sans was genuinely appreciative of Undyne's efforts. Papyrus had learned all kinds of new strategies and tactics, had developed an all new attack-a secret, he claimed-and he was just generally full of confidence and pep.

Not that he wasn't usually full of confidence and pep, but these days it was even more noticeable. Undyne was good for him.

Sans got to his feet and rubbed at his cervical vertebrae, working out some kinks in his neck. If Papyrus was late, he was probably just hung up at Undyne's. Maybe they'd started a new training regimen. Sans surveyed the lab. It felt like he had actually sort of accomplished something today, so that was good. He could be done for the day. Breaks were always the best part of the day, after all, and he needed to make sure his brother was okay.

He climbed the stairs, tugging on his hoodie as he stepped out into the snow. Once he had the door locked behind him, he dialed Papyrus's number.

No answer. Sans tried Undyne, but it was the same result. They probably just had set their phones down during training. Right?

Sans liked to think that he never crossed the line from protective to overprotective where his brother was concerned. He chuckled a little, remembering a time when Papyrus had demanded that Sans stop walking him to school, because he was a big skeleton now and didn't need his big brother following him everywhere.

Still, big brother instincts were hard to deny. Sans pocketed his phone and teleported, landing at the garbage dump. It was a quick walk from here to Undyne's house. No big deal. He headed that way, teleporting from trash pile to trash pile so he didn't have to get his slippers wet.

Sans could hear them even from the next cave over-the unmistakable sound of Papyrus laughing and Undyne yelling. He grinned to himself. It was a good thing the only people who lived out here were the ghosts. Nothing really seemed to bother those guys.

Surprisingly, though, Papyrus and Undyne weren't outside. The sounds were coming from inside her house. The training dummy out front looked untouched. Strange. Sans knocked on the door. There was no answer, and the yelling didn't stop, so he knocked a bit louder.

The noise stopped, thankfully, and a moment later Undyne flung open the door.

"Oh, it's just Sans." She leaned back and yelled over her shoulder. "Never mind, Papyrus, it's just your brother! Whatcha doing here, punk?"

"Well, I figured you guys were probably having too much fun," he said with a grin and a shrug. "Wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't spoil my little brother's fun every now and then. Gotta keep up appearances and all."

"SANS!" Papyrus emerged from what appeared to be the kitchen, splattered with something red.

"Uh-"

Papyrus was continuing before Sans could even be properly alarmed.

"UNDYNE'S GIVING ME SUPER SECRET SPECIAL TRAINING NOW! SHE IS TEACHING ME HOW TO MAKE SPAGHETTI!"

"Yeah!" Undyne clenched a fist for no reason. "Cooking is basically exactly like warrior training! Diligence! Vigilance! Strategy! It's perfect."

Sans was pretty sure that cooking was just about as far as you could get from warrior training, but then again, what did he know? He chuckled.

"Well hey, that's a great idea. Bro, you gotta make me some someday."

Papyrus grabbed a rag and started wiping his bones clean. Now it made sense-tomato sauce. He crossed the room to join Undyne.

"MY SPAGHETTI WILL BE THE GREATEST IN THE UNDERGROUND! AS GREAT AS ME, WHO IS EXTREMELY GREAT! But...I haven't learned anything past the boiling water part and the smashing tomatoes part, so...I MUST APOLOGIZE, SANS! YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT BEFORE YOU CAN SAMPLE MY AMAZING SPAGHETTI! But...you certainly won't have to wait long!"

Smashing tomatoes. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe cooking really was exactly like warrior training-at least when taught by Undyne.

"Ah, well. I'm sure it'll be worth the wait. Anyway." Sans leaned against the doorframe. "You guys gonna be at it for much longer?"

"Oh, jeez." Undyne smacked her forehead. "I totally lost track of time. I got so into describing methods for boiling water I wasn't paying attention!"

"WOWIE! Even the GREAT PAPYRUS didn't notice how late it was! Sorry, brother."

"Nah, don't worry. I'm not upsetti."

"Ugh," said Papyrus and Undyne at the same time. Sans laughed.

"But nah. Just a call next time or something. That thing about spoiling the fun was mostly a joke."

"A Royal Guard must be PUNCTUAL and keep close track of time!" Papyrus raised a solemn hand, as if he was about to swear an oath. "I WILL NOT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!"

"Pfft, yeah, you're gonna make an amazing Guard someday!" Undyne said, punching Papyrus lightly in the humerus. Papyrus beamed and surreptitiously rubbed at the spot.

"Guess I'll head on home, then," Sans said with a languid shrug. "Got important naps to attend to."

"SANS! DON'T GO TO SLEEP!"

"Really? You came all the way out here and now you're just gonna leave?"

Sans jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Nah, I know a good shortcut. Gets me home real fast. Wouldn't want to get in the way of the pasta-making."

"Jeez, fine! Go take a nap, you lazy weirdo. ...Actually!" Undyne's eyes widened abruptly and she dropped a fist into her open palm. "Wait, before you go! Had something I needed to ask you. I almost forgot."

She braced a hand against the doorframe and leaned forward a bit, looming over Sans just slightly. It was kind of amazing how she could go from Papyrus's ridiculous friend to the Captain of the Royal Guard so quickly.

"Okay?"

"Me and Paps were talking about you earlier."

"Only good things, I hope."

"He said you only have 1 HP. Is that true?"

Sans's eyelights flicked past Undyne to Papyrus. His brother immediately looked sheepish, clasping his hands together in front of his chest.

Papyrus was supposed to know better. It wasn't like it was a secret, exactly. It wasn't the sort of secret you could keep for very long. You had to put your HP down on all kinds of forms, anything that involved legality or liability. Sans's HP had already come up with the dogs in Snowdin. Sans loved the guys, but dogs tended to play rough and liked to swing weapons around a lot. Not exactly the safest environment for someone like Sans. Now they were a bit more careful, but they were all still in that stage that Sans hated, the stage where they were cautious and apologetic and sympathetic and constantly asking about Sans's health. And that was one of several reasons why Sans avoided telling people.

Never mind that just having 1 HP was tiring on its own, but the questions, the explanations, the pitying or disdainful or puzzled looks on people's faces just made everything exhausting.

Papyrus wasn't one to just randomly tell Undyne. It must have simply come up. The fact that he had told her outright meant that he trusted her, meant that they really were friends. Sans wasn't angry, not really, but…

That look on Undyne's face was also exhausting.

"Kind of a weird thing to talk about," he said with a shrug, eyelights moving back to Undyne. "But yeah, it's true. "

"So how can you be a sentry with just 1 HP?"

"Ah, Undyne, that wasn't-I thought when we were talking earlier that you meant…"

"Hold on, Paps, I got a point. I just need to get to it! Well, Sans?"

Sans hadn't felt this scrutinized in a long time. He couldn't help but be reminded of his old boss in the Core, staring at him from across the desk, mockery in his tinny voice as he asked about Sans's 1 HP. Or...before that, Gaster's quiet horror when he realized that not only was Sans weaker than he had let on, he had also lied to get a job that involved dangerous science.

Sans shrugged again.

"I mean, they hired me in spite of it, right? The dog who interviewed me made it sound like it wasn't a big deal."

"Listen, hiring the sentries is totally independent of me, it's like a sub-department or something. If I'd known about it, I would have made sure they asked more questions! I mean, sentry work isn't as dangerous as being in the Guard, but it's still dangerous. You guys are the front line against the human threat, like...like scouts, basically!"

Sans stared at a spot in the vicinity of Undyne's abdomen.

"Captain, if I'm fired, you can just tell me."

Maybe he could get odd jobs in the Core again, in a different sector. Or he could...he could wash dishes at Grillby's or something. Grillby was a great guy, he'd totally be willing to hire on his best customer. Between Sans's three separate sentry stations he'd been able to set a bunch of money aside, so even if he was unemployed for awhile, that...that was fine. They'd still be able to pay rent for awhile. Long enough to figure something out.

They weren't going to end up on the streets. Never again. Sans wouldn't allow it. At the very least, Sans was going to make sure his brother kept a roof over his head for the rest of his natural life.

"NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND!" Papyrus crossed to the door in two strides. "Undyne, that wasn't why I mentioned it earlier! You can't just-"

"Okay, jeez, both of you just slow down!" Undyne raised both hands. "No one's getting fired, alright?"

Sans stared up at her, resisting the urge to ask what the point was, then.

"Look, I figure if you've gone this long with just 1 HP, you've gotta be able to take care of yourself. But as the Captain of the Guard, I have to make sure everyone in the ranks is up to snuff, you know? And I've never actually seen you use magic or anything. Heck, if I had the time, I'd be hiring and testing and training all the sentries myself! I get this is a delicate subject, even, but I didn't get to where I am by being delicate! So I just need to be sure." She pointed a finger at Sans. "Are you okay as a sentry? Are you gonna be able to handle yourself in a fight?"

Sans stuffed his hands in his pockets and sighed. This was annoying, but he always found himself preferring Undyne's bluntness to people who walked on eggshells around him.

"Sans is GREAT at magic!" Papyrus said, relaxing a bit now that it didn't seem like his brother was about to be fired. "Not as great as the GREAT PAPYRUS, of course! But still! VERY GREAT!"

Sans couldn't help a bit of a chuckle.

"I know, Paps, but I'm asking Sans, not you," Undyne said firmly, patting Papyrus's shoulder.

"I mean, I actually like being a sentry," Sans said finally. "Even at three whole stations. It's kinda nice. You meet all kinds of weird people. Hear all kinds of fun gossip and news. It's a nice gig. I've never really had a real job until now."

It wasn't even technically a lie.

"And I think I've been doing pretty good so far. I submit all my reports on time. I know pretty much all the other sentries. I've never exactly been in a situation where I had to face a human, but I know all the protocols. So...bottom line is, yeah. I'm okay as a sentry. I figure if anyone had a problem with me I would have heard about it before now."

He could understand Undyne's reasons for bringing all this up, but that didn't make it any less irritating. Even back when he was younger, back when he still couldn't really use magic at all, he had gotten by just fine. Summoning bullets wasn't everything. He had lived a relatively normal life, aside from all the general mayhem of the last few years.

"What about magic?" Undyne asked, tilting her head. "You can use magic, right? Can you fight?"

He shrugged. "Sure, if I need to."

She peered down at him through one bright yellow eye, drumming her claws against the front door. In the background, Papyrus was gripping his gloved hands, still looking a bit nervous.

"Prove it."

"...Sorry?"

She grinned and clenched both fists in sheer passion.

"Spar with me! Me and Papyrus have been sparring all day, but I'm good for another round!"

"UNDYNE! THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA!" Papyrus said, brightening immediately. "THERE IS NO BETTER WAY FOR FRIENDS TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER THAN WITH A FRIENDLY BATTLE, FRIEND-STYLE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS APPROVES! SO LONG AS YOU ARE CAREFUL! Very careful."

"Uhhhh. Yeah, no," Sans said, giving Undyne a bemused look. "I'm not gonna fight you right now."

"What! Why not?"

"It's late, and I'm not a big fan of fighting. Fighting is basically work, and I'm done with work for the day. I'm due for a real long break at Grillby's."

"You need to prove to me that you can fight!"

Sans gave a languid shrug. "Ehh. I'll take a rain check."

Undyne glared at him. "...Fine, then! Tomorrow."

"Aw, jeez. I'm booked solid tomorrow. Three whole stations, yanno? I'm a pretty busy guy. Plus the new MTT Hotel is looking for talent. Not that I'm 'talent,' but I'm the next best thing." He winked at her, which made her visibly fume. He wouldn't have been surprised if smoke started pouring out of her ears.

"THEN SOMETIME THIS WEEK!" She thrust a claw at him. "I'll ambush you! Keep you on your toes!"

No one could dodge like Sans could. Undyne was a very noticeable presence-it wouldn't be at all difficult to avoid her. He had thousands of excuses for randomly disappearing or just generally being "busy" whenever Undyne came looking.

He wondered how long he could hold her off. This might actually be fun.

"Then I guess I'll have to keep an eyesocket out," he said, turning to go. "Have fun with the rest of your training, bro. See you at home."

"NYEH! When I get home, I can help you prepare for your EXCITING AMBUSH!"

Undyne cupped both hands around her mouth to call after him. "I'M GONNA GET WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT, SKELETON!"

Sans chuckled, rounded a corner, and disappeared. He was still laughing when he landed back at home.

He wouldn't be able to avoid Undyne forever, but that was fine. Stringing her along and annoying the hell out of her would be hilarious in the meantime. And when it did come to a fight, she would at least know to be careful. Even if she wasn't, he could dodge anything she threw at him. He had a much better handle on his magic these days. It still got away from him from time to time, but he should be fine for one "friendly battle," as Papyrus had put it. When she saw what he could do, she'd leave him alone.

This was going to be an interesting week.


Undyne was true to her word. The following day, Sans was reading a car magazine at his stand at the border of Waterfall and Hotland when Undyne appeared. She'd actually been lurking nearby for several minutes and Sans had watched her out of the corner of his eyesocket the entire time. Finally, she approached him and pushed down the top edge of the magazine.

"You don't look like you're working, Sans."

He glanced up at her. She was in her full Royal Guard armor and was sweating from the heat. She looked irritated and uncomfortable.

"Oh, I'm working really hard," he said, looking back at his magazine. "You never know when a human might drive a car into the Underground."

"If you have spare time to read magazines then you have spare time to spar with me!"

"Sorry, can't. I have to head to the Waterfall station in five minutes."

Technically it was more like an hour, but Sans had a great work ethic and loved to arrive early to his job. Get a headstart on his work and all that completely untrue stuff.

"How do you have three stations? How do you get to them all?"

"Shortcuts."

"You keep saying that! Since when are there shortcuts in the Underground? Anyway, we could spar on your way to your other station!"

"And show up to work all disheveled?" He shook his head and closed his magazine. "Undyne, I'm surprised at you. I thought you valued professionalism."

Undyne made a vaguely roaring sound.

"FINE! LATER, THEN! We're gonna spar, Sans, just you wait!"

"Okay." Sans got up to close down his station.

"Also, I'm gonna follow you. I'm curious about this 'shortcut.' What if a human decides to use it?"

"Nah, a human wouldn't be able to use it," Sans said, shrugging and heading in the direction of Waterfall. "Don't think a tall fish monster will be able to, either. It only really works for little skeletal guys."

He could hear Undyne's metallic footsteps following him.

"Well, at least tell me where it is!"

"It's right over here," Sans said, rounding a corner. He teleported the instant he was out of sight, landing in a crevice near his Waterfall station. No one was around. He started laughing as he set up his station and took a seat. Man, this was exactly as hilarious as he had been hoping it would be.

Undyne didn't appear for the entire rest of the day. Sans took the opportunity to finish reading his car magazine and pull a few water sausages out of the marsh. He'd been curious for awhile now about whether they were edible or not. They looked so much like hotdogs growing right out of the ground.

There really wasn't much to do as a sentry. It was easy to get this bored.

Papyrus was out again that evening training with Unydne, so Sans borrowed the kitchen. Papyrus would probably look at him funny if he caught him frying up water sausages, and Sans couldn't think of a single logical explanation beyond "they look tasty." Sticking them in a hotdog bun and slathering them with ketchup made them look exactly like a hotdog.

And as it turned out, they tasted pretty good. Sort of like a vegetarian hotdog. Sans was pretty sure that, technically, no one in the Underground had ever had a real hotdog anyway. It wasn't exactly easy to get meat products down here, except for fish. Even the amazing burgers that Grillby served weren't technically meat, though they tasted like it. Monster food could taste like anything you wanted. That was the beauty of magic.

Sans considered the remains of his water sausages. He still had one left over.

Maybe this was the start of something interesting.

The next day, Undyne was waiting for Sans at his station in Waterfall. As soon as he spotted her, he shrugged and teleported to his station in the middle of Hotland instead. It was more heavily trafficked than that part of Waterfall anyway, and there was something that Sans wanted to try. He arrived at his Hotland station armed with a bag of fried water sausages, hotdog buns and condiments.

Once there he placed a small sigh that said "Hotdogs 30G" on the front, took a seat, and folded his hands on the counter. Now all he needed was a customer.

It took awhile, but Sans was a patient monster. There was a handful of sentry tasks to do and at least one patrol he should probably take in the meantime. He watched several monsters walk by on their way to the Core and give his stand a doubletake. A couple people looked like they wanted to approach but were clearly in a hurry.

Finally, though, a tiny Vulkin padded up to his stand, steam rising from the top of its head in puffs. Sans braced his hands on the counter and leaned over so he could see the Vulkin properly. There weren't all that many monsters that were shorter than he was. Moldsmals, mostly.

"Hey there. Interested in a hotdog? It's just 30G."

The Vulkin stared up at him with wide eyes, blushing slightly.

"Um, well...I had a question? Um...what's a hotdog?"

"It's like a food that humans eat. It's a sausage that you put in some bread and top with condiments. Like ketchup."

"Ohhhh...like a water sausage?"

"Exactly like a water sausage. Here, I have an idea." Sans picked up one of the hotdogs he had prepared and got up, crossing to the other side of his stand. "Since you're my very first customer, how about I give you one on the house? And if it's any good, you can tell people about it."

The Vulkin's blush deepened.

"Uwa! For free? Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure."

Vulkins didn't have arms, so Sans settled for placing the hotdog on top of its head, careful to avoid the lava. The Vulkin beamed at him.

"Thank you, mister! I have to go to work, but I'll come back and tell you how it was! It's a promise!"

"Cool." Sans winked at the Vulkin. "I'd really appreciate it."

"I had another quick question...how come there's snow on the roof of your stand?"

Sans glanced up at it.

"Eh." He shrugged. "Too lazy to scrape it off."

"Oh. Well, thank you for the hot...dog? Cat?"

"Just hotdogs for now. Maybe I'll start selling hotcats if business takes off." Sans couldn't help chuckling at the idea. He was pretty sure that hotcats didn't exist.

The Vulkin scampered away and Sans sat back down. For his first ever job as a salesman, that had gone pretty well. Maybe he could give away the rest of the hotdogs for free as well. Opening day sale, or something. That would get his foot in the door, so to speak, and people would come back for more if they liked them.

Sans only had ten more hotdogs, so it wasn't too difficult to hand the rest out to people over the rest of his shift. A Pyrope even came back for seconds and actually paid for the last one. Sans went home with 30 extra G in his pocket and a bit of a spring in his step. Capitalism was turning out to be a lot of fun.

Undyne was waiting for him at his front door when he got back. Papyrus was there as well, apparently chatting with her about spaghetti techniques.

"There you are!" She jabbed a finger in his direction. "You weren't at your station! Did you skip out of work?!"

"SANS! I TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT!"

"Nah, I just took a shift at my Hotland station instead," Sans said with a casual shrug.

"I checked your Hotland station!"

"My other Hotland station." Sans winked at Undyne, which only made her more angry. "It's closer to the Core."

"Ugh, whatever, fine." Undyne rubbed at her forehead as if she had a headache. "Well, you're back now, and I have some time before I need to go turn in my daily reports to Asgore, so! We're going to spar now!"

"Ah, man. I'm sorry. I'm bone tired from that shift. Hotland always wears me out, yanno?"

"Hotland wears everybody out," Papyrus said in a disgusted tone.

Undyne glared daggers at Sans. Or at least dagger.

"You're a real slippery one, aren't you? FINE! Tomorrow."

"Sure." He gave her a thumbs up. "It's a date."


This went on for several more days. Every time Sans spotted Undyne lurking at one of his stations, he simply headed to a different one. Every time he saw her keeping her eye on his route to or from his station, he simply teleported. Every time she managed to actually catch him, he had a perfectly legitimate excuse for why he couldn't spar right then. He was too tired, or he was late to work, or he had to help one of the Snowdin dogs with something. Every time, Undyne would glare and fume and tell him, soon.

In the meantime, Sans set about collecting more water sausages, and also managed to get a small grill that he could easily hide behind his stand. He started stocking all of his stands with condiments, just in case. The hotdog business was very slow at first, with just a small handful of regulars, including the Vulkin and the Pyrope from the first day. Word began to spread, however, and every day saw a couple more customers than the last. It turned out that his stand in Hotland was perfectly located, as a lot of monsters were in that exact area during their lunch breaks. There weren't that many businesses in Hotland at all aside from the Core and the Royal Scientist's Laboratory, so the options for food were sorely limited. Water sausages, for all that they were just a weird plant, were a far cry better than the food in the Core's cafeteria.

It was nice. Fun, even. It occupied his days, at least, during times when he wasn't doing actual sentry work or jotting down notes and equations on the sly. Dodging Undyne and seeing the look on her face each time was just the icing on the monster cake.

Even Alphys came out to his hotdog stand one day when word finally got to her. It was the first time he'd seen her in about a month. She looked exhausted, and her labcoat was slightly rumpled, as if she'd slept in it.

"Well, hey. The Royal Scientist, gracing my humble hotdog joint."

Alphys chuckled and gave him a tired smile. "I can't believe the Guards let you do this. Aren't you s-supposed to be watching for humans or something?"

"What they don't know can't hurt them."

"Pfft." She paid for her hotdog and he handed her one. "Leave it to you to do something this weird and funny. ...Hey, this is actually pretty good."

"I like finding loopholes. Seriously, though, it's good to see you. How have you been? You seem, uh…"

"Like a mess?" she offered dryly.

"I was gonna say tired."

She shrugged. "It's just, um. J-Job stress, you know? The usual."

Things were like this now. She had been telling him fewer and fewer details about her job or the nature of her work. He was pretty sure that Alphys and Asgore himself were the only ones who knew what she was working on.

"What about you?"

"Oh. Same-the usual."

The usual meaning he still was getting nowhere with the machine, and it still felt like he was getting nowhere with Gaster. The dreams still happened with some regularity, and though Gaster had calmed down over the past year, they were still rather harrowing. Gaster was a far cry from actual coherency.

"Heh." She finished off her hotdog and gave him a sad look. "Look at us both."

"...Heh."

There was an awkward silence. Sans fiddled with a bottle of ketchup, not looking at Alphys.

"Well, I gotta get back. Think I left the Bunsen burners on, h-heh."

"Hey, do you wanna...we could maybe hang out this weekend? I've, uh, got both days free, and...we don't have to do, yanno, any real work, but uh. We could watch anime or something...like before?"

"Oh….man, that sounds great?" Alphys wrung her hands. "That s-sounds really great, but um, I'm actually starting a really big experiment this weekend. I'm building-um, s-something. It's gonna take my full attention for the next two, three weeks."

"Oh, okay." Sans was careful not to sound at all disappointed. He gave her an encouraging smile instead. "Well, yanno, let me know. Maybe in a few weeks or something."

"Yeah! Yeah. Maybe. Um, I'll see you, Sans."

With that, she was gone. Sans waited until she was out of sight to sigh to himself. He got to his feet and put out a sign that said "Back in 5." Practicing magic for a bit usually made him feel a little better. Or at least tired enough to not worry about anything.


Less than a week had gone by before Undyne finally caught him. He was on his way out the door and found Undyne waiting on the doorstep. It was mildly startling.

"Jeez. You know, I'd think the Captain of the Guard has more important things to do than wait around so she can fight a random skeleton."

She gave him a withering look.

"I'm waiting for you and your brother, dummy. He's got all day training today! But that doesn't start for an hour-the perfect amount of time for a good round of sparring!"

"Sorry, no can do," he said, giving her an apologetic shrug. "I've got two shifts today."

"Actually." She paused and showed every single one of her teeth in what he hoped was a grin. "You don't."

"I don't."

"I had the sentries give you the day off! Since you've been working so hard the past week."

He raised a brow ridge at her. "Wow. And what if a human happens by while I'm away? Wasn't the whole point of wanting to fight me because you were worried about security?"

"Oh, I thought of that. I'm not stupid, Sans. I didn't always cover all my bases!" She folded her arms. "Best Dog and Plasmo agreed to cover your shifts."

He winced. "Man, you didn't send Best Dog out to Hotland, did you? She hasn't been feeling well lately, and the dogs never do too well in that heat."

"No, jeez, she's covering the Waterfall shift." She made a face. "I'm not a human. Plasmo's a fire elemental, so it makes more sense that he's in Hotland. Honestly, who put that poor guy at a station in Waterfall, anyway?"

"Yeah, he's been asking for a transfer for awhile."

She tapped her chin. "I bet I could streamline that for him. It's important that our sentries are being utilized where they're best suited, just like the Guards. I'm gonna have a talk with the head of the sentries, see if I can-HEY!"

The shout was so sudden that Sans flinched.

"YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!" She put her hands on her hips and leaned menacingly toward Sans. "YOU'RE STALLING."

"Oh. Heh." Sans pulled his hands out of his pockets. "Yeah, you got me. Guess there's nofin I can say to get me out of it this time, huh?"

Undyne's grin was wild. "Not anymore. I told you I'd get you. Now I'm finally gonna see what you're made of!"

"Calcium and magic, mostly." Sans heaved a sigh. No avoiding it now.

Undyne waved her hand and summoned a spear made of solid magic out of thin air. It was electric blue and almost as long as she was tall. Sans couldn't help an automatic step backward. It was impressive. Not many people could use their magic to create actual weapons. Most monsters just relied on their bullet patterns.

"Uh. We're not gonna fight here, are we? Cause I'd rather not trash the street."

"No way! There's a good spot down that way, by the river." She gestured in that direction, toward a low section of the road that led to Waterfall. The area tended to get misty at night, though it had mostly burnt away by now. It would still be a bit difficult to see one's footing.

"You know...what if I just throw some bullets at some trees or something? Instead of us actually fighting."

"Trees aren't going to fight back." She pointed the spear at him, which made him take another step back. She seemed to notice, because she lowered the spear a moment later, point toward the ground.

"This isn't really a question of whether you can use magic so much as whether you can defend yourself. So! Enough stalling!"

She jerked a thumb toward the patch of road and mist. Sans sighed again and trudged forward, feeling a bit like a monster condemned. He doubted Undyne would accidentally kill him, but there were very, very few monsters that he actually trusted to use magic on him. Monsters weren't always all that careful about their bullet patterns, or about where their bullets were heading. Undyne was the Captain of the Guard, so she had to have excellent control over her magic, but she was also excitable and a bit reckless.

And she wasn't Papyrus. Papyrus was the only monster Sans had ever met who could stop his bullets on a dime. He had such perfect control over his magic that he made every other monster in the Underground look downright sloppy.

Sans situated himself with his back to the road, affording himself the largest possible area for dodging. Undyne put herself against the river across from him. She spun the spear in her hands with alarming expertise and pointed it at him again.

"You ready, skeleton?"

He pretended to stifle a yawn. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Good. CAUSE HERE I COME!"

She charged. She was an awful lot faster than he expected, even with her armor. Sans darted backward as she made a wide sweeping motion with the spear. The blade crackled with magic as it sailed past.

Well, if it was a proper fight she wanted…

The most basic thing they ever taught you about monster battles was range. The vast majority of monsters relied heavily on range, since that was the whole point of bullets. But while a properly formed bullet pattern was important for the more nuanced parts of monster society, you needed all kinds of different patterns and tactics for an actual fight. And range was an important part of that. If you were a Woshua who relied on wide-range spiralling bullet patterns, then you were going to have a hard time against, say, an Icecap who was better equipped for getting up close and personal.

Sans was much better at long range, and Undyne was very much up in his business. She had already corrected, surging forward again with a sweep in the opposite direction. Sans dodged backward and to the side, and as soon as the blade passed him he reached out a hand and turned Undyne's soul blue.

Ding.

Undyne looked momentarily aghast, but Sans didn't waste a second. He shoved with his magic, sending Undyne sailing backward. She almost toppled, but bent forward and planted her spear hard into the snow to keep herself upright. Sans released her and stuffed his hands in his pockets, grinning widely. She glared at him over the butt of the spear, hair hanging in her face.

"Always wondered why people don't lead with one of their better attacks," he mused. "Or even just their strongest attack, yanno? End the fight quickly. I'm a huge fan of ending things quickly."

Undyne stood up straight.

"Yeah, so I've noticed. Alright, if THAT'S HOW YOU WANT TO PLAY!"

She threw the spear. Sans's eyelights flicked up to it as it sailed directly toward his ribcage. He dodged right and the spear planted halfway into the ground, fizzling out a split second later. Undyne created a second spear almost instantly and launched it at him again. He dodged left this time.

As soon as his feet were planted, he answered with a wave of bones from the ground. She didn't dodge-most monsters didn't, really. She jumped, but the wave wasn't uniform-it moved up and down, like a normal wave should. A few bones at the peak slammed into her shins. She landed with a snarl and summoned another spear, shattering the remainder of the wave with a single sweep.

"That barely even hurt!" She raised her free hand and summoned a stream of bullets that looked like miniature spears. All of them shot straight toward him like arrows, flashing red the closer they came. Sans dodged and she followed him, forcing him into an almost-run as spears zipped past him.

"Do your attacks only do…" Undyne frowned abruptly as her stream of spears ended. She looked down at her legs. The areas where the bones had struck were glowing very faint pink.

"Oh, that's weird. What the hell did you do?!"

"Heh." He sent a double wave of bones at her, this one uniform in height, coming at her from above and below. She had to jump very carefully to avoid them. "Just a bit of karmic retribution for making me dodge you all week."

She avoided almost every bone, tripping over the last one. She barely stumbled.

"Yeah, you're real good at dodging!" She threw another spear at him, even faster this time, but a few quick steps backward and the spear planted harmlessly into the snow a foot in front of him.

"Ugh, you're so annoying!" Undyne ducked as he threw several bones toward her head. "Stand still and face me head on!"

"Not really my style," he said, a bit breathless as he dodged another row of spear bullets from her. Some of them were colored gold; as soon as he dodged them, they changed direction and came at him from a different angle, forcing him to dodge a second time. "Hey, you know about blue attacks, right? I sure hope so."

The next wave of bones were alternating between monster white and light blue. Cyan . He could almost hear the doctor correcting him. Undyne got mixed up on a few of them, standing still for a light blue bone and then tripping over the next white one. This one knocked her down. She was back on her feet so fast it was like the ground had simply repelled her.

"How can you fight properly if all you do is dodge?" She threw a spear at him, then followed it up with several golden spear bullets. Sans gritted his teeth, ducking the spear and nearly cartwheeling to dodge the bullets.

"You need to defend sometime!"

"Nah." He was breathing hard now. His magic was still overpowering, and injecting KR into some of the bones took a lot out of him. Each bone only did one point of damage, so the KR was a nice follow up to keep people on their toes, slowly draining their HP over time. He hadn't yet figured out how to fill all the bones with KR. It seemed virtually impossible.

He tried a different tactic, sending several long femurs at her from both sides, allowing her virtually no space to avoid them. She would have to dodge-see how she liked it.

Most monsters just weren't used to dodging, though. Almost every bone struck her hard, one of them even shattering on impact and sending her spinning. She almost went down again, but planted another spear to stay up. For all that, she didn't even look winded, and even at a glance it was clear she hadn't lost that much HP.

"What are you going to do if you can't dodge?!" she demanded, sending another flurry of spear bullets at him, these ones alternating between the flashing red and the gold.

"Die, probably," he muttered, too quiet for Undyne to hear, too busy dodging. Her attacks were becoming more complicated, and the gold ones were very tricky. One whizzed by dangerously close to his skull.

He dodged the final one and lost his balance for a moment, hitting the snow with one hand before shoving himself back up. His left eyesocket was starting to hurt and his magic was starting to feel erratic. Throwing bone patterns at trees really was very different from fighting an actual person.

He wasn't going to lose control. If he felt it escaping, he'd just forfeit.

It wasn't like he was going to win, anyway.

As soon as he had his balance back, he raised a hand and turned Undyne blue again. He tossed her upward, and the effort made the pain in his left eyesocket worse. He couldn't let the eye trigger-she'd ask too many questions, ones he either wouldn't have answers to or didn't want to answer. He released her when she was about ten feet in the air, letting her drop. Several rows of short bones sprang up out of the ground like flowers to greet her.

She landed hard, breaking several of the bone bullets and letting out a grunt of pain. But she was back on her feet again in an instant, as if nothing had happened. She was even grinning. She was having fun.

"Alright, then, if you love soul magic so much, try this on for size!"

Undyne made a sweeping motion with her spear. Sans braced himself, ready to dodge.

Ding.

Sans froze.

Something clamped down on him, on every inch of him, a familiar heaviness.

Undyne put her free hand on her hip and laughed.

"Ha! Now what're you gonna do, huh? You can't dodge if you can't move!"

With an effort, he shifted his eyelights downward. There was a small green glow at his chest.

"Oh," he heard himself say.

"Now you have to defend! You bet…r brac…"

Undyne's voice faded out slowly, as if she was disappearing into a tunnel. Sans's vision went funny. Everything went dark at the edges, Undyne became little more than a shadow in the distance. It was hot. He was sweating. Sweating and shivering.

He was in the Core and Gaster was standing over him one hand outstretched and he was green he was green and he couldn't move and the Core shook and the void churned away beneath them like it was hungry like it was starving and Gaster stepped forward and that thing appeared at his side like a loyal pet a Gaster Blaster and he was speaking or Undyne was speaking-

You can't dodge if you can't move

But at the end of the day you are still a failure

What's going on here

What did you think I saw when I looked at you

What's wrong with him

Nothing but a science project

It felt like he was floating. Or sinking. A thousand miles beneath an endless ocean, the pressure crushing him, grinding his bones to powder, to dust. He was falling, he had to be, falling into the darkness, no machine to protect him this time, the machine was broken after all, and it was all happening again, the Core tearing to pieces around them, the darkness swallowing him up, coiling around his bones, curling into his bones, and he thought he felt himself breathing too fast, too fast, before he shattered.

Someone was speaking nearby, or from very far away, the same word over and over, but he couldn't make it out. Everything was green. Heavy. The Blaster would fire any second now, a spear would slam into his sternum, and he couldn't move and he couldn't move and he couldn't move.

His skull was ringing.

He felt himself shake. Or. No. Someone was shaking him. There was another heaviness, but different. Softer. Something wrapped around him. Rumbling sounds from close by. Close by. Close…

Snow against his knees. Snow between his tibias and fibulas. He was on his knees. When had that happened? Mist around him. The trickle of water nearby. Someone holding him.

Papyrus holding him.

He sucked in a breath. Shifted his arms. They felt like lead, but they were moving. Papyrus's grip tightened.

"Sans?"

He pulled back slightly, just enough so that he could look Sans in the face. Sans blinked at him. Relief flooded Papyrus's features. He looked close to tears.

"There you are. There you are."

He pulled Sans back into a tight hug. Sans could move. He could move his hands. He raised them slowly, wrapped his arms around Papyrus, fingers curling into his shirt, holding on as tight as he possibly could. Something was still rattling. That had to be him. He was shaking. Trembling like a frightened child.

"He's okay now," Papyrus said, a bit louder. "It's okay."

"Oh, thank god." Undyne's voice from nearby. "Sans, I'm-can he hear me? Sans, can you hear me?"

"Mm." Sans's voice still sounded distant, like it was coming from someone else.

"Asgore's beard." Undyne sounded breathless. Winded, finally. Heh. Funny. He'd finally given her a workout. "Sans, I'm so...I'm so sorry. I got caught up in it all and...I'm sorry. It'll never happen again."

"I don't…" Sans's voice was muffled against Papyrus's chest. He lifted his head slightly. "What happened?"

"Brother, do you not...remember?"

Sans pulled back from him and scrubbed at his eyesockets. Papyrus tried to hold onto him but Sans gently pushed his hands away. He felt like someone had stuffed his skull full of cotton, but he knew he had to get this under control. Had to get himself under control. Something had happened, something bad, and he had to get ahead of this before the questions started.

"No, uh, I mean-me and Undyne were sparring?" He stood, even though his legs were shaking. Papyrus reached out to steady him, and when Sans tried to push his hands away again, Papyrus didn't let go.

"Uh, I totally had her on the ropes, though. Right?" He put on a grin, looking to Undyne for help. She was standing stock-still a few feet away, her spear gone.

Her expression was…

She was pitying him.

"I turned your soul green," she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. "And you just-kind of froze. Like...green makes it so you can't move, but not like that. You started shaking. But I didn't, uh...I didn't realize what was happening, and…"

She looked over at Papyrus, contrite.

"It's alright, Undyne!" Papyrus said, smiling again, some of the boisterous cheer coming back to his voice. "You didn't know what was happening! Not everyone can react as quickly as the Great Papyrus when it comes to Sans's safety! I am a VERY great brother, after all!"

Sans stared at Papyrus. There were a few scorch marks on his shirt and arm bones that Sans hadn't noticed until now.

He felt like his soul was crumbling.

"You took a hit for me?"

Papyrus hadn't needed to do that since…hell, probably since grade school. Since they were both babybones.

His brother puffed out his chest.

"No need to worry, brother! Or thank me! It didn't even hurt! Undyne stopped very quickly, because she is ALMOST as great as me!"

"Papyrus, this is serious," Undyne said, a stern note creeping into her voice. "Sans-"

"WELL, serious or not! We should continue this! Not here! Let's go indoors where it's warm and there is no snow and where Sans can sit down!"

"Bro, I'm-"

Papyrus scooped him up before Sans could even protest, gathering him into his arms. Sans sighed and let it happen. Normally having Papyrus carry him was the best thing in the world, but right now….

"I freaked out, didn't I?" Sans's voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

"Shush."

"I'm sorry."

"Hush."

"Listen, I'm fine now. You don't need to fuss. It's not a big deal. Probably just some, I dunno, maybe my soul just doesn't react well to soul magic? It's not-"

"Shush."

Sans went quiet, tipping his forehead against Papyrus's shoulder. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bed and disappear for a few days.

Papyrus carried him indoors and Undyne trailed behind, her face unreadable. Once inside, Papyrus set Sans down on the couch. When Sans tried to stand, Papyrus gently pushed him back down. Sans resigned himself to the couch. There was no arguing with Papyrus when he got like this.

Papyrus went to the kitchen to make tea while Sans dusted snow off his legs and stared into the middle distance. Undyne hovered in the entryway, clearly feeling guilty and out of place. Sans tried to process what had happened. They were fighting, and then he was green, and then…

It was like his mind had simply…stopped working. It was like the worst of his nightmares. Unable to move, unable to think. It had almost felt like he was back in the Core. Like he was staring down the throat of a Gaster Blaster. Like Gaster was pinning him to the machine, digging his thumbs into Sans's wrists, and it had hurt, but being thrown had hurt worse, and passing through the void, Gaster's magic forcing its way into his soul, had hurt worst of all.

"Sans?" Undyne's voice cut through his thoughts

He flinched and blinked, still not looking at her. He was doing it again. He was going away again.

"Are you really okay?" she asked, voice low so Papyrus wouldn't overhear.

"I'm fine," he said in the same tone. "What actually...happened? After you turned me green. I mean, uh. Heh, I know blue's more my color, but-"

"TEA FIRST!" Papyrus said, emerging from the kitchen with three steaming mugs. He set one on the coffee table in front of Sans. "Drink first. Then you can talk."

"Thanks, Papyrus," Undyne said as he handed her a mug. "But I, uh…maybe I should go. I feel like I'm intruding."

"It's fine," Sans said, still not looking at anything or anyone. Papyrus sat down beside him. "I said I'm fine. You can stay. You still need to assess whether I'm good enough to keep being a sentry, right?"

Obviously he wasn't. They all had to be thinking the same thing. Sans's eyelights settled on his mug of tea.

"Of course you are." Undyne said it as if it wasn't even a question.

He looked over at her finally. She still had that odd look on her face.

"I mean, you fought really well. I really didn't expect you to, honestly? But those were some pretty creative tactics. Especially combining both types of blue magic. I don't think anyone but Papyrus can do that."

"Oh."

He looked back at his tea. More pity. Great. He picked up the mug and took a sip, then nearly choked. It wasn't even tea. It was hot water mixed with a bit of ketchup.

Just like Papyrus used to make, back when Sans was too weak to process normal monster food, back when the only thing they had in the house that would dissolve in water and go down easy was ketchup.

Sans set the mug back down.

"Can someone. Please just tell me what happened."

Papyrus tapped the rim of Sans's mug. "Drink."

Sans felt like throwing the mug across the room, but instead he picked it up again and downed half of it in one gulp.

"You froze up," Undyne said. She hadn't moved from the entryway. "And I almost-I could have killed you, but Papyrus jumped in the way. When your soul is green, you're supposed be able to summon a sort of force field, like a shield to defend with, but you…didn't."

"How did…you even get there that fast, bro?"

"I came out to watch. I'd been watching for a little while! Sans, we don't need to talk about this now. You should-"

"I drank the stupid tea, can someone please just tell me what happened."

Sans hated himself for the frustration and frantic desperation in his voice. He drank the rest of the tea so he wouldn't have to look at either of them, hands starting to shake again. For awhile, neither of them spoke.

"I let you go the second I realized what was happening," Undyne said at last. "And then you just sort of…collapsed. You wouldn't move or…me and Papyrus were trying to talk to you, but all you would say was 'stop, stop', over and over. Real quiet. Even after I'd released the spell."

"I held onto you and eventually you came back," Papyrus added, folding his hands tightly in his lap.

"Wait, how…how long was I like that?"

There was a silence. He glanced up to see Papyrus and Undyne exchanging a look.

"Like...five minutes," Undyne said after a moment.

Five minutes? It had felt like…like seconds, or hours, or years. He was like that for five whole minutes? Just on his knees in the snow, gibbering like a lunatic, all because someone had turned his soul green?

"I. Uh. Jeez." Sans scrubbed at his cheekbones. He had no idea how to explain this. "I'm really sorry. That must have been super weird. I, heh, I guess I just really hate the color green, huh? Maybe that's why I've never liked salads. That explains everything, heh. All that healthy stuff is green."

"Sans, this was serious," Undyne said, holding her arms. "You were completely freaking out. It was almost like…"

She trailed off and looked away, frown deepening. She seemed to be thinking about something.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. That's pretty embarrassing. Listen, uh, it won't happen again."

"No, it won't," Undyne said abruptly. "Clearly I've got to train harder, so I never let something like this happen again. Not to anyone."

She gritted her teeth and clenched both fists at her sides.

"The Captain of the Royal Guard is supposed to protect monsterkind. I need to be better than this."

"Wait, but this was my fault."

Papyrus rested a hand on top of Sans's skull.

"This absolutely, positively was NOT your fault, Sans."

"He's right. Every monster has their own pattern of bullets, their own ways of using magic. But I tried to push you into something that didn't come naturally to you. And of course defending wouldn't come naturally to you! I should have known better."

Sans felt like the scum of the earth. She was blaming herself, when clearly this was his own fault, his own complete inability to function. How could she possibly have known that he would turn into a pathetic, trembling mess when she used green magic? Hell, even Sans hadn't known. He hadn't even known that Undyne could use green magic at all. Turning bullets green was simple enough, and basic healing magic was almost universal, but full green magic…the last that Sans had heard, no one had been able to master it. No one but Gaster.

"Anyway." Undyne cleared her throat and set her empty tea mug down on an endtable. "If you're sure you're okay, then I think I'm gonna leave. Papyrus we can cancel our training session if you want."

"Oh, come on," Sans said, waving his hand as if the whole thing was absurd. "You don't need to cancel because of something this silly."

Papyrus tapped his phalanges together, making tiny clicking sounds.

"UNDYNE! I'm afraid we must postpone our super secret training session! But just for a few hours! I will be there for training at noon! ON THE DOT! NYEH HEH HEH!"

Undyne snorted a little.

"Alright, fine. I'll see you then." She headed for the door. "And Sans? Again-I'm really sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

She was gone before Sans could answer. Sans listened to her footsteps disappear down the front steps.

He slumped in the couch and sighed. So much for damage control. This entire day had gone straight to hell in record time.

"Bro, I'm…sorry. I must have really scared you."

"I thought you had Fallen Down again."

Sans went rigid, his eyesockets widening. He turned and stared up at his brother. Papyrus had his fingers laced together and was leaning forward on the couch, staring into space. There was that look again. Like he was on the verge of tears.

"Bro…"

"You collapsed. You were limp and unresponsive. It was...it was just like before. I thought you were Fallen Down."

"I…" Sans gripped the mug so tight his bones squeaked against the ceramic. "Bro, I'm sorry. I didn't…"

"Stop." Papyrus's voice wavered. "Please stop apologizing."

Sans fell silent, staring into the empty mug. It felt like staring into an abyss. He felt like he was falling again.

"...Is that why you made me ketchup water?"

Papyrus just nodded.

"Papyrus, that…that hasn't happened in ages. Years and years. I got over it. I'm better now."

"I know."

"And it's not going to happen anytime soon. I've got…heh. I've got plenty of years left in me. I can't, uh, I can't leave until I've annoyed you with every last pun there is, right?"

Papyrus made a nondescript sound.

"Papyrus." Sans tucked his legs under him and turned on the couch so he was facing his brother. "Look at me."

Papyrus looked over at him. There was some wetness around the rim of his eyesockets. Sans felt like crawling into a hole.

Made him cry again.

Papyrus was still gripping his hands, so tight it had to be hurting. Sans reached forward and very carefully undid his fingers. Papyrus let him.

"I didn't Fall Down." He folded his hands into his brothers'. "I'm not going to Fall Down. It was just a stupid accident. Some kind of weird magical reaction. I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere."

Papyrus sniffled a little and held onto Sans's hands.

"I know, brother."

Sans smiled up at him. "Good. Cause, yanno. I can't have you babying me, yanno? That's supposed to be the big brother's job. What would the neighbors say?"

Papyrus chuckled a little.

"As if you care what the neighbors think. If you cared, you wouldn't go around in the same hoodie and slippers all the time!"

"Yeah, that's true. Everyone already knows I'm huge slob. So I've got a reputation to uphold. Don't wanna disappoint them all, right?"

"Nyeh! It's a terrible reputation! If you just put in a little more effort, everyone would be SO IMPRESSED!"

"Naaahhh," Sans said, milking the word for all it was worth. "Effort's no fun. I have to effuse a sense of laziness to keep being legitimate. If I act effete or effervescent then people will think I'm a fake. That's not a very efficient way to make friends."

"OH MY GOD, SANS!" Papyrus let go so that he could dramatically throw his hands in the air. "STOP!"

Sans laughed despite himself. "You're smiling, though."

"I AM AND I HATE IT!"

Sans beamed at him. "So we good, bro? No more fussing?"

"I SUPPOSE," Papyrus said, folding his arms. "BUT! I am still going to keep you company until my training! I told Undyne I would be there ON THE DOT! And ON THE DOT I SHALL BE! So! We will utilize this time for BROTHERLY BONDING!"

"Sounds great," Sans said, stifling a yawn-for real this time. He leaned against Papyrus's side. "I could go for some of that."

"Nyeh," Papyrus said, quite emphatically. He draped an arm over Sans's shoulders.

Sans abruptly realized that he was exhausted. Ironic, seeing as he'd only woken up about an hour ago. He supposed it made sense. Going to pieces apparently took a lot out of you.

"Sans?"

"Yeah?"

"Why… did you freeze up like that?"

Sans leaned more heavily against him.

"I've never seen you freeze up like that," Papyrus continued. "And whenever we spar together, you…you always look so uncomfortable when I turn your soul blue. You try to hide it, but I see it."

Damn. And here Sans thought he'd been doing a pretty good job.

He let his eyesockets slide closed.

"I'm sorry, bro."

"I told you to stop apologizing."

"Yeah. Sor-heh."

"Sans…please just tell me."

"I…"

Sans trailed off and was quiet for a moment, mulling things over.

"I just…don't like it when people mess with my soul without permission. But it's…it's okay with you, because you-you ask, and-and I trust you. I always trust you. It's not Undyne's fault, I mean. We were fighting, and she was actually-she was being more careful than I expected her to be. She seems reckless, but she's…really precise."

"Undyne is indeed pretty amazing," Papyrus said, idly rubbing Sans's shoulder.

"I just don't trust her like I trust you. And, uh, I've never been turned green like that before, and it was just-surprising? I couldn't…move, and…it made me feel…"

Weak. Powerless. Vulnerable. Pinned down like an insect to a board. Like a test mouse in a cage waiting for more pain. Like anyone could do anything they wanted to him.

Like a science project.

Sans realized he was clutching Papyrus's shirt again and let go.

"I just don't like it. That's all."

Papyrus was quiet for awhile, holding Sans a little closer, still gently rubbing Sans's shoulder. It was soothing. Sans couldn't help but relax.

He was safe. He had his brother.

"I could stop turning your soul blue when we spar."

"Don't you dare." Sans yawned openly. "I'm not letting you mess up your own magic just because of me."

"But, brother…"

"I'm not letting you. I'm pulling the big brother card."

He heard Papyrus sigh.

"Alright, then."

"Thanks. For…heh. For everything, I guess."

"I haven't done anything but be your amazing, incredible and very great brother." Papyrus tipped his head, resting it against the top of Sans's skull. "If you want to sleep, I will not protest. Even though you sleep far too much."

Sans smiled faintly.

He was asleep within minutes.