Note 1: Thank you all very much for all of the reviews that I have received from readers. It's really encouraging to know that people enjoy my work.
Note 2: I've always wanted to write about Anakin's journey to the afterlife following the Return of the Jedi. This takes place after Darth Vader dies and Anakin Skywalker is reborn in the Force.
Note 3: Star Wars and its affiliates do not belong to me only the contents of this Verse.
Note 4: Thank you to my beta readers TACAitsH and Young at Heart21. Some people are gifted writers, but others are gifted editors! Thank you for all of your support, you guys are the true reason this verse continues! You guys are TRULY amazing. =]
Soul's Scars
Chapter 9: Jedi
By: WrittinInStone
Anakin took a deep breath as he drew on the calming techniques that he had learned as a Jedi Knight. He lifted his lightsaber just in time to block the fierce attack of the Jedi who was bent on destroying him. Not that the Jedi in question does not have a good reason to want me obliterated, Anakin thought as he parried the blow and turned to run. It was no good, his opponent Force-jumped in front of him, refusing to allow Anakin to end the fight.
"Now, Darth Vader," the Jedi spat, "You will pay for your crimes against the Galaxy."
Anakin mentally steadied himself, refusing to be shamed. He knew that he had done much wrong for which he needed to make amends, but he could not do that by allowing himself to be beaten down by every reminder of his wrongdoing.
Knowing that he had little choice but to fight, Anakin lifted his chin to his opponent. "Very well," he said finally, moving into Form V: 'Djem So', the lightsaber fighting form that he had used as a Jedi. "I will do what I must…Master Windu."
Anakin watched, as with cold eyes, the Jedi Master Mace Windu raised his infamous violet lightsaber into Form VII: 'Vaapad'; Master Windu's own unique form of lightsaber combat.
"You will make recompense for your actions in the Land of Weeping and Sorrow. It is the only place fit for someone like you." Mace stated coldly. "Now, perish, Vader!"
Anakin braced himself as the Jedi Master charged.
#*#*#*#*#
***Sometime Earlier***
"He has light brown hair, you say?" Padmé asked eagerly, scooting closer to her husband. "Did he look like you?" She had seen how her son looked on the Holotablet earlier, but it was nothing like hearing Anakin describe him.
"Luke?" Anakin replied with a smile, "Yes, he looks like me, but I can see bits of you in him. You should have seen me when I first laid eyes on him, I thought I had seen a ghost. But he is so beautiful, Padmé, and so is Leia. I cannot believe I did not recognize her when I saw her. Leia is the spitting image of you."
"She must be feisty," Padmé said with a knowing smile.
"You have no idea, my love." He stated, rolling his eyes, "She was always a thorn in my side when I was alive. She is so idealistic, so willing to stand by her beliefs no matter the danger to herself. Actually, she reminded me of a certain Senator from Naboo…" Anakin smirked at her.
Padmé felt a blush crawl up her neck at her husband's implication. "Okay," she conceded, "I did have a less than the proper amount of respect for my own safety, but I had to do my duty to the people!"
"Yes, that is what she would say." Anakin said quietly, a soft smile on his face, "She is exactly like you."
She smiled at her husband, pleased by his words. They had been discussing Anakin's journey thus far when he offhandedly mentioned their offspring. It was more than enough to elicit a torrent of questions from Padmé. What did they look like? How did they meet? What did he feel when he first met them?
By unspoken agreement, Padmé and Anakin had decided not to ignore his past crimes. It would not do either of them any good to pretend that they had never happened. In truth, it would have been impossible to do so. Instead, they strived to focus on the good things and one of the best parts of Anakin's life was meeting their children despite not knowing that he was Leia's father.
The conversation regarding their children was both painful and exhilarating, but they happily took both in equal measure. They discussed their children's possible likes and dislikes and the little quirks that made them unique human beings. They also speculated about their personalities and their favorite foods as well as how similar they were to their parents: did Leia have trouble with her hair like Padmé did, and did Luke hate sand as much as Anakin?
"Do you think I will be able to see them?" Padmé asked finally, her eyes shining, "Like you did before, on that moon of Endor?"
Anakin fell silent for a moment. "I don't know, Padmé." He said honestly, "It may be something that only Jedi can do. But that does not mean we cannot make sure that you cannot see them as I did. Don't give up hope, my love."
Padmé nodded, trying not to let her disappointment show. She wanted to see her children, if only just once while they were alive. While she hoped she would meet them in Paradise, if they became Jedi, they would go where the Jedi went, a place that was closed to her. She would never get to know them, never get to hold them, never get to tell them how sorry she was for leaving them.
Anakin saw her disappointment and pulled her into his arms. "I will do all that is in my power to ensure that you see our children," He told her, hugging her tightly. "And do not worry, they will love you as I do."
Padmé buried her head in her husband's neck as she contemplated his words. If he could do this, if he could help her see their children, then it would be the greatest gift in either life or death that he could give her.
Anakin frowned as suddenly, with a jerk, the pontoon boat began to slow down. The waters of the River had begun to change color, turning so dark as to appear black. He slowly stood up, allowing Padmé to slide from his lap and into the seat.
"Ani?" Padmé said fearfully watching the water change color.
He moved forward, suddenly on alert. Something was about to happen.
Padmé moved to the side of the boat to take a closer look at the water. "Ani!" She called, "Ani, look at the water."
Anakin moved next to his wife and did as she asked. It looked as though the waters were…solidifying. He reached out a hand and touched it as the boat came to a complete stop. It was solid.
"Anakin?" Padmé asked once more, her voice trembling. In front of them, the normally light tones of the River of Scars descended into shadows. The next trial was upon them.
"Stay here, Padmé." He told her, "I'm going to check everything out. Do not move from this boat until I come for you."
She bit her lip and nodded. She hated allowing her husband to go into another trial alone, but she knew that Anakin needed to be focused. They had no idea what could happen here in the Gray; whether they could be hurt or whether they could die again. It was better to be safe than to be sorry and Padmé knew that her presence would only distract him.
"Okay, I will stay here, but come back soon." She said fiercely. "If you don't, I'm coming after you."
Knowing that this was the best he could hope for from his headstrong wife, he nodded and leaned down to kiss her cheek before jumping out of the boat.
Anakin took a moment to activate his lightsaber before moving into the shadows. Moments later, he was out of sight as darkness swallowed him.
#*#*#*#*#
It did not take Anakin long to realize that he was walking through a maze. He did not know how he got there, or how to get out. There seemed to be no choice other than to continue moving. With every step that he took, light shone around him, allowing him to see several feet in front of him, but no more.
The walls of the maze were made out of the same dark gray material that he had encountered earlier on the River of Scars. When Anakin placed his hand on it, it was warm to the touch but quickly became cool to the point of discomfort. Anakin made a point of not touching it again.
He walked for only a little while longer before he came to his destination, a three-way fork in the maze. There were three doors, all of them made of the same solid, dark gray material, all of them the same size and shape.
Anakin paused, unsure of what to do. Should he choose a door, or would someone emerge to meet him?
His questions were soon answered as the door on the left slowly opened.
Anakin backed up, unconsciously falling into a fighting stance, as the shape of a figure became visible in the darkness. The figure began to walk forward, an eerie tapping sound following its movements. The sound echoed and bounced off the walls of the maze, filling the deep silence.
Anakin squinted his eyes trying to make out the shape of the figure moving toward him. His breath caught in his throat as the figure finally stepped into the light.
"Master Windu," Anakin said, heart sinking.
It was Jedi Master Mace Windu. He had been a great man once, second only to Grand Master Yoda. 'Master of the Order', 'Jedi Master', Creator of lightsaber Form VII, 'Vaapad'; these were just some of the things that had made Mace Windu great. But that was before Anakin cut off his arm, before Palpatine blasted Mace through the windows of the Senate building, causing him to fall many stories to his doom.
"Darth Vader." Master Windu responded quietly, quickly and efficiently activating his lightsaber. "Prepare yourself to fight."
#*#*#*#*#
As Anakin fought with Master Windu, he understood why this man was considered second only to Yoda. Master Windu's skill with his saber was incredible. He blocked all of Anakin's moves and thrust with speed and confidence. Indeed, it seemed as though he was able to anticipate all of Anakin's moves.
As he fought, Anakin could not help but think of an incident that occurred long ago on Coruscant, when he was still Obi-Wan's apprentice. They had been chasing a shape-shifter bounty hunter who had just attempted to assassinate Senator Amidala. He remembered how he had raced through the lanes of the city with Obi-Wan at his side, how he had arrogantly told his Master that his sword skills were up to par with Master Yoda's.
Anakin was in the body that boasted the height of his maturity and strength, yet he was finding it difficult to keep up with Master Windu, so how much more difficult would it have been to best Master Yoda? Only now, after a lifetime, he could see the supreme arrogance of his words. It made him a little sick; how had Obi-Wan put up with his…hubris all of those years?
Faltering under the truths that this battle was revealing, Anakin stumbled. Seeing his opening, Master Windu pressed through, shattering Anakin's defense and disarming him, forcing the younger man down.
"I would have thought that the Chosen One would have better skills than this." Master Windu said quietly, as he held his lightsaber to Anakin's neck. "It seems that it is yet another area of your training that was neglected by Master Kenobi."
Anakin's teeth clenched at the insult to his Master. "Do not," Anakin began dangerously, "Speak of Obi-Wan in that manner."
Mace's eyebrows rose into his forehead. "So the Sith defends his old Master? Surprising. After your little battle on Mustafar, I would have thought that you would have no benign feelings left for him."
"Obi-Wan did what he had to do to stop me." Anakin answered, looking up into the Jedi Master's eyes.
"But he didn't, did he Vader?" Mace said coldly. "He could have killed you that day, but he didn't. By all rights, you never should have been alive to destroy innocent lives, to destroy Alderaan, to meet your children. Obi-Wan failed the Jedi and he failed the Galaxy when he refused to kill you, a monster."
Anakin did not speak, what could he say to these words that were nothing more than pure truth? So he did not dispute the words, he could not. "If you're going to destroy me, then do it." Anakin said finally, refusing to look away from Mace.
Master Windu was silent for a moment before he stood straight, deactivating his lightsaber. "That is not for me to do, no matter how much I wish it." Mace stated. "You have many to meet before your fate is decided."
"My fate?" Anakin said as he quickly regained his feet. "What do you mean? After I finish this journey, I will find peace."
Mace laughed, it was a harsh sound, void of joy. "Did the Guardian not tell you? The state of your afterlife is not predicated upon the completion of your journey on the River of Scars. It is all about the people you hurt. If your victims do not find peace in the afterlife, if you do not mend all that you have destroyed, your journey on the River will never end."
Anakin stilled as his thoughts whirled. He mentally filtered through all the wrong that he had done, through all the people he had hurt. If what Mace said was true, it was possible that Anakin's journey would never end.
"I can see that you are shocked, Vader." Mace stated, matter-of-factly. "Well, that's not the only one you're in for." Master Windu nodded toward the door on the right. "There are some people here who would like to speak with you."
As Mace spoke, the door on the far right began to slowly open. Anakin braced for what was waiting behind the door.
He gasped at what emerged. They were still small and they looked as they had in life.
"Younglings," Anakin breathed. He had known, deep down, that he would meet them eventually. Destroying the children and the future of the Jedi Order was by far one of the worst atrocities that he had committed as a Sith.
"Darth Vader." A small one stepped forward. "Do you remember me? I asked for your help when the Purge began. You slaughtered me where I stood."
Another Youngling stepped forward. "Do you remember me? You used to sneak me sweets after training practice. I was so afraid when the Purge began. I was crying when you killed me."
One by one, they stepped forward, forcing Anakin to remember what he had done to them.
"I was the best pilot of all the Younglings," One of the older Younglings stated, "You were my hero. When I saw your yellow eyes, when I realized what you had become, I was devastated. I died before your lightsaber entered my body."
"Stop it," Anakin said, interrupting them, "Stop it, now. I know what I did was wrong, I know it. And you do not know how sorry I am. But I can't change what I did. If I could, I would, a thousand times over. So what do you want from me? By the Force, what in the seven hells do you want from me?"
The Younglings stopped. They looked at Master Windu who nodded at them.
One of them stepped forward; it was the first Youngling that Anakin had killed. The little one opened his mouth and spoke, "We know that you cannot change the past, that is not our wish. Our wish is for you to know exactly what you did when you destroyed the Jedi; we want you to know. This knowledge will never leave you; will never die. When this has happened, only then, will you be forgiven by the Jedi."
"Speaks the truth, the young one does." There, emerging from the second door as the Younglings had, stood Master Yoda.
"Master Yoda." Anakin had mixed feelings about the ancient Grand Master. This was the being who had led the Jedi for many years; this was the Jedi who had trained his son, Luke.
"Forgive you, we will." Master Yoda continued, "In our ranks will you be accepted, but face the past, you must. Do this and into the Force will you be welcomed."
Anakin looked at the group of people in front of him: the strong, silent Master Windu, the innocent Young Jedi, and the ancient Grand Master himself; Yoda. He owed it to them to do this. This was how he would make amends.
"Yes," Anakin stated, "I will do this."
Yoda turned toward the last and final door, with a wave of his walking cane, the door began to open. "Face past, present, and future you must. Face what could have been, you will. Face own self, you shall. Self-discovery, a stronger man, will break. But as Chosen One, a polished sword, will you become. Final step of your journey, this is, though many parts it has. Survive this, and regain your honor, you shall."
Anakin closed his eyes and fell into a contemplative silence as Master Yoda's declaration rang through the air. This was the final phase of his journey? He could not take comfort in this. Master Yoda said that it had many parts… The thought made him uneasy. But if this were the only way to be redeemed, then he would do it; he was ready. Anakin was tired of being stained, tired of being dirty. He wanted to be clean and he would do whatever it took to be so again.
"Yes, Master Yoda. I accept." Anakin finally spoke. He opened his eyes only to find himself alone once more. The doors to the left and the right had disappeared as well, leaving only the door in the middle. He squared his shoulders and moved toward the remaining exit.
"Wait, Ani!" A voice called from a distance. "Wait for me!"
He turned as Padmé emerged from maze. She glared at him as she hurried forward. "You were not going to leave without me, were you?" She asked, her eyebrows in her forehead, giving him a look that promised retribution if he did not answer the question correctly.
Even in this dire situation, he could not help but smile. "No, Milady. I would never leave you."
"Good," She said briskly. She stood back for a moment and surveyed the door, then she took a deep breath and said, "Okay, let's go."
"You don't want to know where we're going?"
"Do I need to know in order to go with you?" She responded.
He shook his head. "Then, no." She said, "I will find out soon enough. We both will. Now come on!" Padmé said, winking at him, "We don't have all eternity."
"Of course not, Senator." Anakin said with a smile. He took her hand and together they walked through the middle door of the maze, to wherever their journey took them next.
End of Chapter 9: If you guys liked this, review it. Writers on this site are paid only by the reviews of the readers. It will only take a few words to make the Goddess smile. Please, let your voice be heard.
10th Chapter: What Is and What Could Have Been: Anakin and Padmé are shown the life they could have had.
