Why is it that every scene that involves sex that I've written is either disturbing or someone is going nuts? So that's a fair warning to you: a scene involving nudity and at least mentions of sex coming up! (And about time, too!) Between who, I'm not telling. Ha ha! You have to read for yourselves.
Proceed at your own discretion.
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Chapter Eight
Remembering
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"I honestly don't know how we managed to say all those things, now that I look back on it. I don't know how I had the balls to even go into his office, not to mention open my mouth. Maybe it was because of the war. People were dying left and right, and we knew that come next battle, it might be either of us. I guess that did it." Cloud finished with a shrug and turned back to Zack, who was smiling and wiping a tear from his eye. The blond frowned. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing... that was just so unbelievably cute! You know, I can just SEE Seph squirming, thinking he's made a fool of himself. Not that I've ever seen him like that, but I can just see it now!" The fighter laughed merrily, and Cloud had to smile, too. He couldn't remember seeing the general flustered like that on any other occasion. His smile faded soon, though, when he realized that he could already think about Sephiroth and feel feelings other than sorrow. It wasn't a sad thought in itself, but he somehow felt he was betraying his dead lover by not missing him more.
'But I will miss you, forever. I'll never love anyone quite like I love you.' The blond sighed and turned to catch up with Zack, who was humming happily now as he dug open the flower patch in front of the small house.
"Aren't you done with that yet? I promised Aeris we'd have the garden ready before they get back."
"Slave driver. I'm almost done anyway!"
The year had turned into a new one barely two months ago, but the weather in Mideel was as warm as a summer day in the north. It was almost a year now after the end of the latest Wutai-ShinRa war, and so far peace had reigned. There had been news, even in Mideel, of ShinRa's army growing again. Cloud and Zack had started to wonder if they should leave, in case the Peacemakers needed them. Master Ranael had confirmed the rumours, and promised to contact them if they were needed.
Even if they didn't know for sure that there'd even be a new war, the two felt like they had to get ready to leave. The feeling seemed to cast a kind of a deadline on certain things. Like the feelings growing between Zack and Aeris, and the acknowledging of said emotions. Neither could point out when their friendship had grown into something more, but there certainly was something. Neither had said it out loud, either. Not to each other, or anyone else. Which puzzled at least Zack. He had always considered himself a pretty straightforward guy, one who wouldn't be scared to open his mouth, to speak the truth. And suddenly, talking with his new best friend seemed almost impossible with all the butterflies in his stomach. Elmyra always seemed to give him a knowing kind of smile, when their eyes happened to meet. Cloud was probably completely oblivious to the whole thing, Zack presumed. He loved the spellcaster dearly, but he had to admit that the blond tended to be less than observant about other people's emotions. Not that he didn't care, not at all. He just didn't seem to be aware of them.
But Cloud had been in love. Zack didn't dare to ask Elmyra for advice, and even though he had befriended half of the village, this was too personal to be shared with them. The blond would have to help him.
…telling Cloud that his best friend was in love with his other best friend? Easier said than done. They still tread carefully around Cloud and his emotions, even though Zack realized that treating the spellcaster somehow differently than other people wasn't the best of solutions. But the blond still seemed so heartbroken most of the time. The photos had not triggered his memory, not really. He had had more dreams about his past than before, but nothing that he truly remembered once he woke. Nothing that helped. He seemed to be stuck in the same state of mind he had been in ever since Zack had met him, even if the blond had lately proved that he was capable of smiling. That was a sight Zack wouldn't forget in a hurry.
The quest to figure out what had happened in the desert had moved along, if only ever so slightly. It had turned out that one of the doctors in the village, specializing in Mako poisonings, had once studied for a brief time under the professor they had determined to be the bad guy of the story. Hojo.
Not surprisingly, Zack had initiated the conversation. He and Cloud had been out in the woods killing monsters, and had come across rather a nasty one. Cloud, throwing his spells from afar, had survived the scuffle in one piece, but Zack had received nasty cuts in his legs. Aeris had patched him up nicely, but scars had remained. The fighter had showed them off one day at the small shop, to scare some kids from going too deep into the jungle, and the doctor had also seen them. They had started talking, and the conversation had somehow gone to Midgar, and to the professor.
"So apparently, surprise surprise, Hojo's never been nominated for the Best Teacher –award. More like Mr. Asshole –award." Zack told Cloud later that day when they were walking in the jungle, after a group of flower prongs that had been coming too close to the village for comfort.
"Well duh." Cloud said and rolled his eyes. And blushed immediately. Zack almost fell to the ground, he was laughing so hard. "It's your fault," the blond muttered, "you and your TV-shows."
"So, anyway," Zack continued once he could walk again, "everyone hates him, he's so creepy. But he's really smart, so they also respect him. You know the Soldiers, the guys with Mako in them? Yeah, well he's the guy who started the whole program. And he apparently works for the President himself. So he's big, and he's dangerous. He's got labs all around the place, but no one besides him and his underlings know where. The Prez doesn't either. So, I'm thinking, that you two probably got too close to one of his labs, and he took you as guinea pigs."
"Could be…" Cloud was muttering. He still couldn't remember the time they'd been captives, but he did grow uneasy every time the topic came up. His body seemed to remember, even if his mind was reluctant. Knowing what he now did, he had started to wonder if he even wanted to remember anymore. If it would have been just him, he could have happily forgotten everything. But Sephiroth… he couldn't let go of the matter until he knew what had happened to the silver-haired man.
"Shh. I think I hear them." Zack's whisper stopped him, and the spellcaster got ready to fry the monsters.
The monsters had been fairly easy to kill with their tried and true method; Zack would attack them head on while Cloud stayed in the back, throwing his spells. When he was out of useful ones, he'd pick up his sword and join the fight, if there still was a fight. It reminded him so much of the war, which, for some reason, made him feel comfortable. It was like wearing the clothes that suited you best.
He wasn't meant to live like this, in quiet and peace. Fighting, battles, action, that's where he felt most comfortable. All the relaxing and inaction of Mideel was, even though nice, also nerve-wrecking. Cloud could tell Zack was starting to feel it too. They knew of the trouble brewing with ShinRa, and knew that they could be useful there.
The fight had been fairly easy, but also sweaty. It was late evening already, but they decided to head to the closest hot spring to wash off the sweat and mud.
"You know… speaking of Hojo, I've been wondering… how do you suppose Aeris knows him? I mean, if she's really met him before, like she thinks?" Zack suddenly said out loud, startling Cloud, as he usually did.
"I don't know. She can't remember it herself."
"Hmh. There's way too much forgetfulness going around when it comes to that asshole. I don't like it." The fighter mused, his whole appearance uncharacteristically dark. Cloud could only agree. But there seemed to be no answers to their many questions unless they got a hold of Hojo himself.
They soon reached the springs, and immediately got rid of their muddy clothes and got into the warm water. Cloud still wasn't too keen on letting people see his scars, but at least now his friends knew where he'd gotten them. He knew it himself, finally. Still, he stayed in the water up to his chin, trying to relax. The fighter swam around the large spring a few times, and dived deeper to get the mud out of his hair. Some minutes later, he returned to the spellcaster and sat beside him.
"Umm, Cloud…" Zack started again, this time uncharacteristically shy. "I, ah… I kinda need your advice on something, seeing as you… know about these things."
The blond slowly opened his eyes. He'd almost been drifting asleep, the water was so warm. "What is it?"
"I, umm, I… uh…"
This was uncommon. Zack was at a loss for words. Cloud wished he had a camera.
"Just spit it out."
"Well, umm, I think… IthinkIlikeAeris. THAT way. I mean, really like her. Not just like 'Oh yeah, she's hot', but like, you know, I want to make her happy. Not see her sad. Like that. I mean, she IS hot, but she's so much more than that as well."
Cloud, if he could have thought clearly, would have been happy that he did not have a camera, for his own expression right then must have been priceless. "You what?"
Birds took into the air, startled by the sudden shout. Zack cringed and almost cowered.
"I know she's like a sister to you, but geeze! It's not that horrible, is it?" Zack said, trying to laugh but not managing it too well. He'd known that Cloud wouldn't take it too well, at least in the beginning.
The blond glared at him for a moment, but forced himself to take a few deep breaths. No, it wasn't 'that horrible'. He'd just had no idea. And he suspected that this wasn't a new thing, but he still hadn't had any idea.
"…you needed some advice?" Cloud muttered, staring into the jungle. Zack sighed with relief and nodded.
"Yeah, I mean, what should I do? I think she likes me as well. But, what if… what if we do something, it doesn't work out, and our friendship is ruined? I don't want that. And if we gotta leave soon… but if I don't at least try, I'll just keep wondering about it, and drive myself nuts."
"…and how do you figure I can help with this?" Cloud asked, completely flustered.
"Well, you've been in love."
"…" Cloud didn't know what to say. He wanted his friends to be happy, he knew they deserved it. But he also felt hurt. It wasn't anything out of his pocket if others were happy, he was well aware of that, but… it made him feel so alone.
And he really had no idea what to tell Zack. "I… really don't know. Sorry. If you feel like it, you just have to risk it, I guess."
"That's what you did with Seph."
"Yeah, but I guess it was different."
"Not too different…"
Cloud just sighed, and waved angrily at a fleet of mosquitoes. "This time last year, it was the last weeks of the war. We were fighting so hard, every day. And every night, we'd… Seph and I… shit, I'm so horny. And it feels bad."
Zack snickered. "Sorry. I know how you feel, though. About the horny part, at least. But why do you feel bad?"
"Because…" Cloud frowned and blushed. "None of this leaves this place, ok?"
"My lips are sealed." Zack said with a wide grin. Cloud groaned.
"I haven't… since Seph… I haven't even… you know. I'd like to, I mean, it's normal, but…" the blond was completely flustered.
"You haven't had sex since Seph died? That's completely understandable. It hasn't even been so long. And it's natural to want to have sex. I mean, it's nice! As far as I can remember, been near two years since my last time…"
"No, Zack, I mean that I haven't… I haven't had sex, obviously, but I haven't even… you know."
"Ohhh!" Zack figured it out, and winced. "Ouch."
"It feels bad, to want to feel good. I guess it's stupid, but I just feel so… guilty. I want to be kissed again. And other things. I miss it. I miss Seph. I want him back. And not just for sex. But I know it's not happening. Is it wrong, to want to feel good?"
"…of course not. You know it yourself. Stop feeling guilty for surviving, Cloudy. Seph wouldn't want you to think like that." Zack's voice was quiet and earnest, and he pulled the spellcaster into a tight hug when the tears started to fall. He ran his hands up and down the blond's back, trying to comfort him. Cloud was clearly disturbed by what he'd said, it didn't even seem to bother him that Zack could very easily notice that the spellcaster was, at a certain level, enjoying the physical contact.
"Oooooooh shiiiiiiit…" Zack moaned under his breath when he felt his own body answer to the attention it was getting. He tried to move away, but the rocks were slippery under his feet, and he found himself falling from the spring down to the cool earth, the spellcaster still pressed tightly against his chest.
Once his back was steadily on the ground, his feet still in the pool up to his knees, Zack opened his eyes to look at a baffled Cloud.
"What happened?" Cloud asked, looking around. And only then he felt their erections between their naked bodies, and blushed.
Zack burst into almost hysterical laughter. The spellcaster narrowed his eyes and started to tickle the fighter's sides, not exactly helping Zack stop laughing. But the dark-haired man retaliated with his own tickle attack, and they were soon rolling around in the grass and sand, trying to tickle or poke or even punch each other while remaining away from reach of the other.
Eventually they stopped, and lay on their sides, their faces only inches apart. Zack was still grinning like a maniac, and aroused as hell, so he moved his head so that their noses touched.
"Hi."
"Hi..." the blond's answer was a bit slower, but Zack was relieved to hear it anyway.
"You know, Cloudy, we really have to stop meeting like this. People are going to start talking soon."
"Ha ha." Cloud buried his face between Zack's neck and shoulder, breathing deep.
/"All right, all right! I'll take you to the damned Gold Saucer! Happy?"/
Zack rubbed his face against Cloud's cheek and ear, the small earring scratching his cheek, cool against the skin. "You are just too cute when you blush, you know?" He whispered, snaked his arms around the blond and pulled him closer. "And I do care for you, a lot."
It seemed to him that they both needed this. Obviously not from each other, which saddened him a bit, but it didn't matter right now. If this was the way to help Cloud, he'd gladly oblige. Zack was relieved when Cloud murmured something and started to kiss his neck. The dark-haired man answered by nibbling his ear.
/"... Seph? What... what happened? Where are we? Where are you!"/
Zack's hands moved up and down the soft skin, raising goose bumps in their wake. The blond pushed himself up and came to rest half on top of Zack's chest. Their lips met and tongues searched for each other.
/"Cloud? Love, I'm here... are you all right? There was an explosion, I remember that much..."/
Zack grinned into the kiss and suddenly flipped them over. Cloud barely had time to notice what was happening before he was already the one laying on the ground. There was no stopping anymore. The fighter paused for a second anyway, looking down at the blond who was breathing heavily. Cloud looked up at him from underneath his eyelashes, in a way that quickly drove Zack nuts. The dark-haired man tackled him and they kissed again, their blood on fire as Zack ran his hands all over Cloud's body again while the blond teasingly bit the man's lower lip.
/"I think I'm bleeding... but it's not serious. We need to get back to the chocobos. Seph, do you have any light?"/
Not wanting to give up so easily, Cloud managed to turn them over again, and sat up on top of Zack.
"Little torturer..." the fighter murmured and sat up as well, Cloud still on his lap, their bodies touching each other ever so slightly every time either one breathed in. The fighter grinned like a predator, and the next thing Cloud knew, he was flat on his back on the ground again, Zack leaning over him, positioned between his legs.
"What are you waiting for, a written invitation?" The blond murmured, smiling slightly.
With a soft roar, Zack landed completely on him, kissing and biting the tender skin of the neck. Cloud moaned and closed his eyes, trying to forget everything else except how good this felt. Soon Zack pushed himself back up, winked with a wide grin and started to plant kisses on the blond's chest, moving towards his stomach. Cloud's eyes went wide but soon closed as he shuddered with passion. The long, dark hairs tickled his chest as Zack licked his stomach.
/"Here." A match illuminated the hand that held it. "Love? Come to the light."/
/"Y-yes... I think I hurt my leg." It doesn't matter, soon his arms close around me./
"Hurry up, Zack..." Cloud hissed when the fighter let his tongue travel. Zack looked up and gave the blond his million gil grin before letting his mouth wander even lower. Cloud cried out and his thin fingers rose to stroke the dark hair.
/"Oh love, thank Leviathan you're fine..."/
/I kiss his chin, and Sephiroth smiles... I love him so much.../
"Za-aack!" Cloud moaned with a pout when the dark-haired man suddenly sat up. He needed this, needed not to think, needed to just feel happy, to feel loved again, if only just for a moment. The fighter just laughed.
"Impatient, are we?" Zack struck a heroic pose and flexed his muscles.
/"Now, to get out of here... where ever we are..."/
/A noise, like a door opening. And suddenly, there's a blinding light, illuminating everything./
"No, horny. I told you already."
Zack laughed. "It's the same thing!"
/It's a room, a white, tiled, sterilized room, although the floor is splattered with bloodstains. His and mine./
Cloud rolled his eyes and
/Three men step in, two holding guns and one in a white coat. That man looks at us like we're animals, and smirks. There's shark teeth in that smile, and I wish I had my sword. I'm sure Seph thinks the same. Where are our weapons? And the chocobos?/
/The man with the white jacket lifts a hand to push his glasses up. Then he shrugs and waves his hand./
/"Shoot."/
/Two guns go off, not normal guns but weapons still. At the same split second I release the fire spell I'd prepared and Sephiroth pushes me behind him. But it's too late./
"Cloud? Hey, are you all right? Can you hear me? Cloud!"
/I don't have time to see if the fireball hits its mark as the small dart hits me in the neck. Straight to the vein. Seph screams, fighting the poison, and tries to keep me standing.../
/"NO!"/
/... tranquilizers?.../
"NOOO!" Cloud screamed and pushed with all his might, throwing Zack off him and into the spring. The fighter barely registered the movement until he was already sinking. He managed to get a foothold and sprang up towards the surface. The blond was sitting up, heaving in lungfuls of air, blue eyes darting around the area.
Zack climbed out of the water, worried and angry, but the anger faded immediately when he saw the odd look in the blue eyes. Cloud wasn't seeing the jungle, the spring or him, he was somewhere else completely. Somewhere scary, by the terrified look on his face. Zack quickly picked up the cleanest piece of cloth, Cloud's shirt, and wrapped it around the spellcaster's shoulders. The blond didn't seem to even register the touch.
"Cloud? Oh hell. Don't go psycho on me now..." the fighter muttered and shook the blond gently, trying to break the trance. Cloud moaned quietly and tried to pull away from him, eyes still unfocused.
"Come on, wake up!"
"Seph..."
Zack froze completely. He wanted Cloud to wake up, but if the man was finally remembering what had happened to him, he didn't want to spoil it. So the fighter forced himself to let go of the blond and just sit still and quiet, ready to help if he needed to.
-x-x-x-
Cloud couldn't open his eyes, but at the moment it seemed unimportant. He felt like he was floating above himself, devoid of all feelings, pain, fear and worry. The world was white, tinted with pink and light blue shades here and there. It was soft, and calm, and completely noiseless. Like he was within a soft cloud. The thought made the blond smile, but the slight movement set off impulses through his body, waking aches and pains and worry. Why exactly was he here? Where was this? Where was Sephiroth?
He breathed deep, the movement again jolting him closer to awareness. The last thing... the last thing he could remember was a white room. Cold and cruel and spotless, save for the bloodstains. Their blood, Sephiroth's and his. He now remembered the long cut on his leg, and as if on cue it started to ache. Where had they been hurt like that? There hadn't been a battle, they had been in the desert, on their chocobos. Going north. The war was over, and they were supposed to be free from it all. They were going to have a holiday somewhere. It was going to be great.
For a minute he wondered if he'd had a sunstroke, but that didn't explain the white room. And the men, he now remembered the men. Two with guns, and one in a white coat. They'd been shot, with tranquilizers. He'd been hit, in the neck. The poison had gone straight to his veins, he had dropped almost before he'd realised that he had been hit. Sephiroth had tried to keep him up and awake, but they'd shot the general again, until he fell as well. And now, now he was in this cloud.
"Seph...?" he tried calling quietly. The letters hurt his throat, and he started to hear noises. Someone was talking, and the voice became nearer. Or maybe just clearer. His body started to ache all over, cuts and bruises he didn't remember receiving.
Someone spoke, the words sounding like the person was right beside his head, so Cloud struggled to hear them. "... awake as well."
"Cloud!"
"... Seph...?" The spellcaster tried to speak again, and forced his eyes open.
The light that hit his eyes was so bright he thought for a second he might go blind or just faint from the pain. A quiet wail escaped his lips, and he could hear Sephiroth call his name again, desperately.
Slowly the light became more bearable, and Cloud relaxed a bit. Until his eyes focused on the face that was hovering above him. The blond swallowed quickly not to scream.
The man must have been at least in his sixties, but his long, greasy hair was still completely black. It hung in a messy ponytail over his shoulder. His eyes were almost black as well, and stared calculatingly at him from over a pair of glasses. His skin was almost as pale as his white laboratory coat, but not as wrinkled. A long, thin, bony finger rose and poked at the blond's chest. Cloud swallowed again when he realized it was the same man who had ordered them shot in the white room.
His eyes now adjusted to the light around them, Cloud saw movement from the corner of his right eye, and turned his head so that he wouldn't have to watch the skinny man who was now poking at the wound in his leg and muttering. He saw that the room wasn't white anymore, or to be precise it wasn't the same room. This seemed like a warehouse... the roof above them was grey and circular, the room the shape of half a circle. Bright balls of light dotted the ceiling which, from his point of view, seemed to go on forever. Wooden boxes and cages large and small were piled by the walls, and some of the cages had monsters in them.
Finally his eyes met what had attracted them in the first place. Across the dark floor, on the opposite wall, was a wooden bench (just like the one he was lying on, he noted), and strapped onto it was his lover. Cloud's heart skipped a beat and he tried to get up but realized he had been tied down as well. Still, the fingers of his right hand tried to reach over the ten feet between them.
"Seph..."
Sephiroth stopped struggling with his bonds and looked over at him, his pale face turning from furious to relieved. "Oh love... are you all right?"
Cloud nodded even though the white-coated man was examining his wound quite painfully. It didn't matter. He couldn't take his eyes off of the green-eyed man.
Sephiroth's long hair was in a mess, clotted with lumps of dried blood which covered most of his face as well. Still, he seemed mostly uninjured, and started to struggle harder to get free. Cloud hoped the man wouldn't turn right now and see what was happening. Of course that was what happened next.
The man left his leg alone, wiping his hands on a handkerchief, and turned to watch the struggle. Sephiroth didn't either notice or mind. The spellcaster was sure the general would be punished for trying to escape, but the man just chuckled.
"No use, my boy, those bonds won't break no matter how much you fight them. You're as bound as a fly in a spider's web. Both of you. And I..." now he smiled so that the shark teeth showed again "... am the spider."
Sephiroth relaxed and turned so that his and Cloud's eyes met. This wasn't good.
-x-x-x-
Zack tried to sneak in as quietly as possible, not wanting to make Aeris and Elmyra worry. Cloud had more or less passed out after the strange trance, without a word, and the fighter had opted to just carry him home, after getting some clothes on the both of them. He felt a bit embarrassed about the kissing and what it might have lead to, another reason he didn't particularly wish to see Aeris and her mother that night.
Elmyra was already asleep in her room, but Aeris was still up when the fighter quietly closed the door. The flower girl came out of the kitchen to greet them, expecting to see both Cloud and Zack What she saw was Cloud's body tossed over Zack's shoulder, and the terrified look on the fighter's face when he saw her.
"What happened?" she asked and hurried to them, speaking quietly not to disturb her mother. Zack pulled on a disarming smile.
"Don't worry, he just passed out at the springs. I think he remembered something."
Aeris was standing by his side, looking at Cloud's face and running a hand through his damp hair. "Oh. That's… good, I guess. Did he say what he remembered?"
"No, he just… passed out. I'm gonna take him to bed. Are you turning in already?"
"No, not just yet." Aeris said. She had been sleepy, but not anymore. "I think I'll make a cup of tea. Do you want one?"
"Yeah, sure." Zack said with a grin which was far more sure than he was. "I'll just make sure he's all right." With that, he walked up the stairs to the attic and carefully lowered Cloud to his bed, or more like mattress on the floor. He tugged off the spellcaster's clothes, as they were still muddy and even a bit wet, and pulled the covers up to the blond's chin.
"It was a stupid thing we did, you know... not that I didn't want to, right then, and you did too… but it wasn't right. But if it helped you to remember, I'm glad. Just… don't break on me like that again. We all love you…" he stroked the blond spikes for a moment and leaned in to kiss Cloud's forehead before sneaking downstairs, kicking the dirty clothes before him. He tossed them and his own clothes into the laundry basket, and pulled on a pair of clean trousers before joining Aeris in the kitchen.
The flower girl had already fixed their tea, and was sitting at the table. Zack suspected that she had already had the kettle on earlier, the water wouldn't have boiled this fast. She had probably waited for them to come home.
"So, what were you doing at the springs?" Aeris asked once Zack had settled into a chair. The fighter felt a moment of terror, thinking that the girl somehow knew what had happened.
"We got all muddy fighting the flower prongs, thought we'd take a bath." He kept forgetting that Aeris didn't play mind games with people. Having been around diplomats and politicians for so long, he automatically tried to figure out what people around him were really saying. But sometimes, they meant exactly what they said. Aeris just nodded, smiling faintly at the visual. That made Zack smile as well, and the flower girl blushed, thinking that the fighter was laughing at her.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, you just have such a pretty smile." Zack said.
Hell, maybe he'd just risk it.
Aeris blushed some more, but smiled at the man across the table. "So do you."
"Aeris, I've been wondering… and I've been thinking about this a lot, and probably won't have the courage again, so lemme speak here. I think I like you. A lot. And I've kinda gotten the impression that you might feel the same way about me. I might be wrong, but just in case I'm not…" he'd been staring at the wooden table, not daring to look up. But now he forced his violet eyes up, to look into Aeris' green ones. She was smiling, that was good. And the look in her eyes was so warm. That looked good as well. She was getting up, that might be trouble. She was walking over to him, good, unless she'd slap him the next second.
And then she was kissing him. It lasted only for a few seconds, but left Zack up in seventh heaven. "Yeah, you got the right idea there." She whispered into his ear. Zack laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her down to sit on his lap.
"Good. I'm glad."
Cloud was the first one up the next morning, and was sitting in the kitchen with a strong cup of coffee by the time the others got up. He looked like he'd been mentally hit by a speeding chocobo, but managed to mutter something akin to 'Morning' as a greeting when Elmyra, the second one up, walked into the kitchen, yawning. Aeris was up next, smiling and happy. She took one sniff of the coffee, strong enough to melt a spoon, and put the tea kettle on. "Good morning you two, did you sleep well?" she gave a quick kiss to the top of Cloud's messy hair before sitting down. Elmyra smiled and nodded.
"You're awfully cheery." The blond just commented, taking a sip of his coffee.
"He finally got his mouth open, didn't he?" Elmyra asked with a knowing little smile, and Aeris nodded, almost beaming. The spellcaster blinked at them for a moment but didn't seem to catch on. Not until Zack came down, gave them all a sunny smile and then blushed when he saw Aeris.
"Morning, all!"
"Oh brother…" Cloud muttered and took another sip. Zack laughed, ruffled his hair not-too-gently and gave Aeris a small kiss on the cheek before trying to decide whether he wanted coffee or tea.
Zack and Cloud stayed in the kitchen, sitting by the table while Elmyra soon left to town and Aeris went to take care of her flowers. The spellcaster was still nursing his now lukewarm coffee, and the fighter was wolfing down his fourth piece of bread.
"So. You told her." It wasn't a question, but Zack answered with a sheepish grin.
"Yeah."
"And I take it she feels the same about you?"
"Yeah."
"And you're just tickled pink."
"Yeah!"
Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes. "You know, there are only a handful of things more annoying in the world than a new couple in love."
Zack laughed. "And just because you've been like that yourself doesn't mean that you have any patience for them?"
"Who says I've ever been an idiot?"
"Oh come on, everyone goes a bit silly when they're in love."
"Not me."
"…Speaking of a bit silly… about last night…"
"We shouldn't have done it." Cloud said before Zack could finish. The fighter nodded.
"Yeah. I mean, it was nice, and all, but… stupid. Now that is not to say that you should live in total abstinence. You might explode or something."
"Fuck you."
"Well, we tried, but you went spaz on me. Cloud, what happened? Did you remember something?"
The blond fell into a sullen silence before answering. "Yeah. I remembered waking up… in there. The … place. In the photos. We woke up first in this white room. Then he, Hojo, he came in with some other men, and they shot us down with tranquilizers. And the next time I woke up, Seph and I were in there. And so was Hojo. And… that's pretty much all I can remember."
"Hey, it's a start." Zack said and leaned over the table to grab a hold of the blond's hand. Squeezing it, he smiled at the spellcaster. "Maybe you just needed that something to jog your memory. You know, if you yanked the chain a coupla times, maybe you'd start to remember other things as well."
Luckily for Zack, the coffee that was thrown on him was almost cold. But the spellcaster's anger soon faded, and his shoulders shook with concealed laughter. "For a diplomat, you sure stick your foot into your mouth often. Asshole." With that, Cloud stood and left the room. Zack chuckled and started to dry his face and shirt with a napkin. He actually considered himself a damn good diplomat.
Aeris came back in about an hour later, and Cloud decided to leave her and Zack alone. He picked up some of the letters Sephiroth had sent to Zack, and went to sit in Aeris's garden. Her flowers were growing all around the house, and up the walls as well. Their scent was almost intoxicating.
The fighter had gone through the letters himself soon after Josin has brought them over, and had then handed them to the spellcaster. "You can read them all you want, keep them as long as you need them." Zack had said quietly, and handed them to him like so much treasure. That's what they were to him. Memories.
It had taken a considerable time before Cloud had dared to fold open the first letter and read it. He had immediately recognized Sephiroth's handwriting, the flowing letters which often took a while to decipher. The man could write neatly if he needed to, but most of the time he hadn't bothered with it. One of the small quirks that had always made Cloud smile. Seph had been such a perfectionist in so many things; fighting, leading, caring for his sword, even in the bedroom. But writing: it had never mattered much to the man if anyone could read his writing. He had always managed it himself, that had been enough. And Cloud had made it his business to learn to read the incomprehensible scrawl.
By now he had read all the letters so many times that he could almost recite them, word to word. But he still loved to read them, just to feel near to his lover again.
Zack had moved to the living room, where he was cleaning his trusted gun and sharpening his even more trusted sword. He was humming quietly when Aeris brought a vase of fresh flowers into the room.
"That's a nice song." She commented and laughed when he actually started. When he yelped with pain, she hurried over to him. Zack dropped his sword and clutched his left hand with his right, holding them both against his chest.
"Ow ow ow!"
"Zack I'm sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you! Here, show me…" she knelt beside him and held out her hands, motioning for him to give her his hurt hand. The fighter stopped his moaning, grinned, leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
"I'm alright." He winked and waved his hands, both unharmed.
"That was mean!" Aeris frowned at him, trying not to smile, and poked him in the side. Maybe a bit unnecessarily hard.
"Ow. Ok, that hurt. Ow! Hey! Stop poking me!"
"Make me!" Aeris laughed. Zack grabbed her wrists after a bit of a struggle and several pokes, but by then he was lying on his back on the floor, Aeris on top of him. When she realised what position they were in, she blushed and laughed. Zack grinned at her, a bit uncomfortable when he remembered what a position not too unlike this one had lead to last night.
"Hi…" Aeris said, smiling sunnily.
"Hi…" the fighter answered, blushing furiously. He wouldn't mind a repetition of last night with Aeris, not at all, but he wanted to do the right thing with her. And it was too soon for last night's actions.
"You look so cute when you blush, Zack. Don't tell me you're going coy on me?"
"Such a word doesn't exist in my vocabulary." Zack said with a wink, and lifted his head to kiss her lightly on the lips. Aeris answered the kiss, giving him another quick one once their lips parted. "However, your knee, right about now, is painfully close to my, ah, secret weapon."
Aeris laughed at the cheesiness and sat up, offering Zack a hand and pulling him up to a sitting position. The fighter rubbed his neck, more than a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry… I just don't want to spoil this… there's no need to hurry, I mean."
She gave him a rather amused look. "Don't worry, I'm not about to steal your innocence."
"That's not exactly what I meant, lil' Miss Buttercup…" Zack said with a grin and poked her shoulder with his finger, "but thanks anyway. I'm saving myself for the woman of my life!"
"And who might that be?" Aeris laughed, grabbing his poking finger.
"Play your cards right and it might just be you!" Zack answered with a big, toothy grin and a thumbs-up. The flower girl laughed and hugged him, kissing his cheek which soon lead to longer, more intimate kisses. Their hands fell to their sides, and sought out each other to hold. For a moment, there was room for nothing else in their world than just the two of them. Not even the stubborn ringing of a PHS upstairs.
Cloud ignored the occasional bursts of laughter and moved onto the second page of the letter. The first page was a long-winded answer to a question Zack had apparently asked on the topic of why it wasn't politically wise to 'just knock their cabbage-heads together and make them work it out themselves'. Cloud was sure that he would have preferred Zack's way instead of the overly patient method of Sephiroth's.
The second page was far less serious in nature as Sephiroth got to the topic of his new love. It still made Cloud blush when he read it, but it also made him feel warm inside, not so alone. To know someone had loved him so much, even if he was no more…
It was almost noon, so the sun was pretty much overhead, shining down on him from between the leaves of the trees and the flowers everywhere. It was warm and comfortable, and even though he tried to, Cloud couldn't keep his eyes open for longer than a few pages more.
-x-x-x-
There were no windows in the hall, and the lack of light made it nearly impossible to tell exactly what shape it was, and how big. Cloud could tell that Sephiroth still tried.
They were no longer tied onto the heavy benches. Right now they were locked in strong iron cages with not much room to move in. The cages were a few feet from each other, but if the two lovers reached out as far as they could, they could just catch each other's hands, and get a bit of comfort from the touch. As long as they were together, there was hope.
"What do you think is going on?" Cloud asked quietly. Words echoed easily in the hall, especially when they were alone like this, and neither wanted to attract attention to them. Sephiroth didn't answer for a moment, he was busy trying to reach the bench on the right side of his cage. The men imprisoning them had left the general's small bag unguarded onto the bench. Sephiroth, if he reached out as far as he could, managed to nearly reach it.
"I think…" the general muttered between frustrated grunts, "that we accidentally came too close to this place. The mine was a warning not to come too close. And… if this is some kind of secret operation, it's not too likely they'll let us go. Aha!" The general managed to nudge the bag enough that its strap fell into his reach. With a quick look towards the hall, to see that it was still empty, Sephiroth yanked the bag to his cage and started to rummage through it.
"That's what I was thinking too…" Cloud muttered, shivering a bit in the cold. The cages were standing on the cold, earth floor, and there was no heating anywhere. He turned to Sephiroth, hoping that the general would have something of use in his bag. It wasn't likely that the men would just let them go, so they'd have to escape, one way or another.
"Damn it. I only have my camera and a few of your materia in here."
"'Only'?" Cloud sat up straighter and leaned towards the other cage on the right. "Give them here, you muscle-moron…"
Sephiroth chuckled and tossed the three small spheres to the spellcaster, turning his attention to the camera. He himself could use some simple spells, but didn't know much about the materia. Cloud, on the other hand, could probably tell with one look their type and how strong they were.
"Fuck… 'only' indeed. I've got a low-level Cure, an All and a Sense-materia. The only damage these'll do will be if I manage to hit someone on the head with these." Cloud growled after only a minute. Sephiroth nodded grimly. He hadn't expected that their captors would leave anything truly powerful just lying about. "And I can't even use the Cure without something to channel it through. These are useless." He was about to throw them away but Sephiroth stopped him.
"Give them here, I'll put them back in the bag. You never know, they might come in hand someday." Cloud obeyed, and the general stored the orbs in the bag, as well as the camera. The spellcaster didn't see what he did with the bag, it was too dark, but he suspected that Sephiroth somehow hid it from their captors. Whether it would stay hidden was a different matter.
"Ever the optimist…" Cloud muttered, making Sephiroth chuckle quietly.
"Try to get some sleep, lovely, we'll need our strength to get out of here."
"Yeah…" the spellcaster muttered and tried to find a comfortable position on the iron bars. A mission as impossible as getting out of there, he feared. They had no idea where they were, how many men there were in the area, what traps, what security measures… and there was the fact that they were sitting behind strong iron bars. Getting out seemed a very unlikely thing.
He did manage to fall asleep, as they were both used to sleeping when and where they could. To rest when it was possible between attacks and planning new ones. His dreams were far from pleasant, and the spellcaster woke immediately when more lights were turned on overhead, and there were noises on the other side of the hall, coming closer. Cloud sat up and turned to Sephiroth, who was up as well, staring intently towards the approaching voices.
"Morning, love."
"Yeah. Seph?"
"Yes?"
"If this gets bad, I just want you to know that I love you."
Sephiroth turned to him immediately, his green eyes full of barely contained tears at the words. Fear for the future, fear for them both, fear which he wouldn't let anyone else see. "I love you too, Cloud. So much…"
The man in a white coat reached them first. The others stayed farther away, apparently preparing something. Cloud couldn't tell, the white coat blocked just enough of his view. When he looked up, he saw that the man was giving Sephiroth all his attention. The spellcaster frowned, not liking the possessive look at all.
"Are you comfortable, Sephiroth? I should hope so. It wouldn't do good to have you suffer needlessly, after all."
Sephiroth managed to keep his cool. Cloud was sure that if he had been addressed so himself, his answer would have contained far more expletives than comprehensible words. But the general's answer was civil, even if it was delivered with a tone cold enough to freeze.
"I would be more comfortable anywhere but here."
"Ah, well, that can't be helped, I'm afraid. You see, now that I have you back, I'm not letting you go so easily."
"Have me back? What are you talking about? Who are you?" Sephiroth didn't let his nervousness or his fear show one bit. Cloud was so proud of him.
"I see, I haven't even introduced myself yet. I am professor Hojo. Pleased to see you again, you've grown so much."
"I don't like the fact that you're suggesting that we've met before. I have no recollection of such a thing. And I never forget a face, especially one as ugly as yours."
"Well, you were just a baby back then. Whatever they did with the other one I couldn't care less. But what they did to you; THAT I can never forgive." With that the man suddenly turned around and walked over to the other men, giving Sephiroth one last look over his shoulder.
"What… what the hell was that about…" Sephiroth said out loud, turning to Cloud. The spellcaster shrugged, feeling as confused as his lover looked. The man had made no sense at all. The general tried to question Hojo when he approached them again, this time with a few assistants, but the man paid his words no heed. He just stood back as the men opened the cage containing the general, and dragged him out, threatening with tranquilizers if he didn't obey.
"Don't worry, son… this won't hurt. Much." Hojo said with that shark smile when Sephiroth was strapped to a cold, metal table.
Cloud could only watch with tears in his eyes as the men ran different tests on his lover, taking out samples of blood and tissue, injecting him with various things, taking photographs and notes all the time. It lasted for a few hours, and when they were done, they threw a limp Sephiroth back into the cage. The general was too out of it to object to his treatment, or probably to even notice when Hojo turned his eyes to Cloud.
"And now… it's your turn."
-x-x-x-
Cloud woke with a start, and it took a long time before he could catch his breath and remember that he was in Mideel, free from the captivity, surrounded by flowers and sunshine instead of cold metal and fear. He was free, but Sephiroth was not with him.
"Aw, shit…" Cloud muttered and squeezed his eyes shut against the threatening tears. He lifted a hand to his eyes and felt the letters fall from his lap. Scrambling to catch them, he nearly fell out of the chair but managed to keep his balance. The letters, however, fell to the ground. A few pages were caught by the wind. Cloud swore and shot out of the chair and after them, berating himself for letting them fall in the first place. It seemed like all he was good for was failing. Failing to protect Sephiroth, failing to keep his memory alive, failing to even keep Zack's memories of him safe. Tears almost blinded him while he ran after the wind-blown pages.
"I'm sorry, Seph…"
Once he'd managed to catch them all, he sat down on the ground and let himself fall on his back, pressing the wrinkled papers to his chest which was tight with tears. He knew that he was far enough from the house not to be heard, so he let the tears and sobs come. He tried not to cry whenever someone was nearby, he didn't want to worry them. Or let them see him this weak. He knew that they'd seen him at his worst, but as far as he was concerned, that would never happen again. Only the forest witnessed his tears this time.
Later on, after he'd dried his eyes, Cloud checked that he had really managed to find all of the pages, and started back towards the house. From the position of the sun he'd figured that it was near lunchtime, and even if he hadn't much of an appetite after crying so, his stomach didn't seem to agree. He hadn't really eaten anything since yesterday, way before he and Zack had left to fight the monsters.
Elmyra hadn't returned yet, but Aeris and Zack were already cooking in the kitchen, talking quietly with each other. Cloud greeted them and walked straight upstairs to take the letters there, and so that he wouldn't have to see their happiness. It was a bit too much for him to bear right then.
He put the letters into a small chest he and Zack shared, to keep just such things safe. Food wouldn't be ready in a while yet, so he flopped down in his bed, letting out a long sigh. For a while there, during the winter months, he had thought he could handle things. He'd pretty much come to terms with the fact that Sephiroth was gone, even if it made his heart break. There still were mornings when he woke up, reaching over to hug the general, only to realise that he wasn't there. But he had gotten used to it. Having seen the photos had shed some light on what had happened during those lost months. And judging by yesterday, and the dream earlier, he was slowly beginning to remember. Whether that was a good thing or not, he didn't know.
He yearned for human contact, to have someone to hold again, for someone to hold him, assure him that everything would be ok. What he and Zack had done last night was stupid, they both had agreed on that. It still bothered him, though. And not only because it had felt so nice. To forget everything except what the body needed. He had been neglecting his body lately, putting it through strain while fighting the monsters, not eating enough, sleeping maybe a bit too much.
His hands started to travel down from his chest, slowly and hesitantly. When they touched the sliver of his abdomen, peeking out from between his shirt and trousers, he hissed quietly, surprised how fiercely his body responded to the slight touch. Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath, annoyed at himself at how he had to make everything so damn difficult.
He had reached the waistband of his trousers and emptied his mind from everything unnecessary, when the PHS on Zack's bed burst into life. Cloud jumped almost two feet into the air, yanking his hand out and blushing furiously. He stood up with shaky knees, and with equally shaky hands reached out for the device and answered it.
"Uh, yes?" his voice came out too high and squeaky, making him blush even more.
""Strife?"" Master Ranael asked after a quiet moment.
"Uh, yeah. How can I help you, sir?"
""I've been trying to call you several times now.""
"…Sorry. Something up?"
""Yes. ShinRa troops has been spotted nearing Fort Condor. We suspect an attack, and are sending some troops there, but since you and Zack are so near, we'd like you two to head over there and try to keep the situation under control, if, indeed, there is a situation to be handled.""
Cloud swore quietly under his breath, even if the thought of possible action wasn't so bad, considering that he had somewhat yearned for something to do. And he had to face it; fighting ShinRa was something he knew how to do. "Yes sir. When do you want us there?"
""As soon as possible. Scout the area, see if the rumours are true and if there is an attack coming. We'd suspected that ShinRa wouldn't just lie down and give up the fight after Wutai. Even with just a few men they could take the Fort. So get there as soon as you can. And keep in touch. We're expecting a report as soon as you get there.""
"Yes, sir. We're on it."
""Good. Talk to you later, then. Good luck.""
"Yes, sir…" Cloud closed the PHS and sat down on Zack's bed, swearing again, louder this time. Action was good. Telling Zack that they had to leave NOW, when he and Aeris had just started their 'relationship'… not so good.
The spellcaster got up, tossed the PHS back on the bed, and headed downstairs. "Zaaack…"
-x-x-x-
Sephiroth awoke to a strange feeling. He was warm. It was summer, so that shouldn't have been strange. But the warmness seemed centered on his right side. Moving his head just a bit, he received a face full of tickly hair. That's when he remembered.
They'd been lying on his cot, tired after a long battle, after healing and planning. They'd been too tired to get undressed. Cloud had just followed him into his private 'room', he had sat on the bed and pulled the spellcaster closer, then they had both fallen on the bed, and as promptly fallen asleep. The spellcaster was still sleeping under the protection of the general's arm.
Just a few weeks had passed since that first kiss. And their first night together. They hadn't done anything then besides kissing and some fondling, and even though the feeling that either of them could die any day was constantly there, Sephiroth was glad that they weren't hurrying this. Because, he realized, he was really falling hard for the spellcaster. And he wanted to do the right thing, whatever that was. He didn't have much experience with matters of the heart; he'd had a few relationships, of course, but never anything too serious. He was very handsome, that's what they all told him, and it was why most people wanted to be with him. It hurt a bit, and was why nothing had ever lasted, why he preferred having friends to lovers.
And then along came Cloud. Thinking back on it, Sephiroth had figured that he had fallen for the smaller man at first sight, even if he hadn't realized it then. He hadn't really even thought about an affair with the blond; that first kiss had come as much as a surprise to the both of them.
Cloud didn't say much, but he certainly was honest with his emotions, and the few words he spoke. Sephiroth knew he could trust the spellcaster with anything, the way he had dared to trust only a handful of people in his whole life. There were only so few who he could show his weaknesses to.
But most importantly, at least to him… with Cloud, he didn't want to live from day to day, thinking that he could go any given moment. With the spellcaster by his side, he wanted more.
Sephiroth smiled and turned carefully so that he was facing the spellcaster. Always careful not to wake him, the general lifted a hand and started to stroke the stubborn, short spikes on top of Cloud's head. They'd already grown almost two inches. It was one way of keeping a track of time, Sephiroth mused, watching his lover's hair grow, when days in the trenches always seemed the same. Well, it certainly was the most enjoyable way he could think of right then.
"Here's to our happily ever after, lovely…" Sephiroth whispered and kissed the sleeping spellcaster on the forehead before slipping back to sleep himself.
-x-x-x-
A.N: The 'sex scene' was originally in the very first FF7 fanfiction story I ever wrote. Unfortunately that story was crap, but I liked that one scene, which I first hijacked into another story which never got finished, so I threw it here. It worked the best in the first story, where there was a third timeline in it as well, but I wanted to use it somewhere...
Hopefully this wasn't too bad, this was another one of those transitional chapters from old to new, but from now on it'll all be new text, written right here and right now. This'll also mean that it'll probably take a bit longer for each chapter to come out, but I am determined to finish this story.
Oh yeah, one more thing, there's now a link to my homepage on the profile-page, and there are some pictures there for this story and for the Blood of Innocents. Eventually there shall be more, and some extras as well...
Answers to reviews:
scarlettHuntress: I admit, it would be nice to get a lot of reviews, but it's really wonderful to have reviewers such as you who come back chapter after chapter! -hug-
vtforpedro: Thank you! And yes, I'm afraid Seph has gone to meet his maker… -wipes a tear from her eye-
Beatrisu: Cookies! Milk! –feels loved- Ahh thank you! I'll try to keep up with updating, might take a wee bit longer from now on, but the cookies certainly help with writing –hug-
