Chapter 9

The afternoon passed quickly, Cyrus kept the team on track making phone calls and setting up appointments while Olivia reached out to her local political connections. By the end of the day her voice was hoarse from persuading people with far more money than they knew what to do with to part with some of it. Fitz spent his afternoon working on his campaign schedule, making sure he would be in Philadelphia for Gerry's Christmas play and Karen's ballet recital. His personal staff knew that birthdays and holidays were off limits for Fitz, they were spent with his children. As he scheduled his agenda for the late winter Fitz found himself considering where he would be in mid-February. He made one final phone call then left to meet Sarah.

As Olivia put on her coat and grabbed her purse there was a soft knock on her door. It was one of the staffers with a delivery that had just arrived. She wasn't expecting anything but relaxed into one of the office chairs to open it. In the nondescript, manila envelope was a greeting card. She carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the card. Opening it she found a keycard and a short note:

Livie,

The spaces between your fingers were meant to be filled with mine.

See you at 6.

Fitz

Peeking at her watch she saw she had enough time to stop by her apartment before heading to Fitz's hotel. She walked past his office on her way out knowing he was gone for the day but holding a glimmer of hope she would catch a glimpse of him. The door was open so she stepped inside. Though the office was identical in size to hers there was something regal, presidential about it. It smelled manly, of cologne, scotch, and leather. She walked to his desk, taking a closer look at his photos. There were pictures of Karen and Gerry at various ages most with Fitz in them as well. Conspicuously missing from all but one of the photos was Mellie. The lone picture of their entire family featured Karen and Jerry seated between Fitz and Mellie. Olivia felt guilty for invading his space and even worse for allowing herself to be happy that he was unhappily married. What about his kids? She thought feeling sad for the two little people who clearly adored their father. What would they think of him if they found out about me? She hurried out of the office wanting to put distance between her and tangible evidence of Fitz's real life.

Mark dropped her off at her apartment, waiting outside for her to return. She packed a small overnight bag. Was it presumptuous? Perhaps, but she was sure he couldn't keep making clothing appear on a whim should she spend the night. Truthfully he probably could, though she had no idea how, but she didn't want the expectation to exist. She almost skipped out to the car smiling widely at Mark he closed the car door behind her. As they drove they chatted about their day, Mark wondering how working on the campaign was going and Olivia checking in with him about his wife and children. As they neared Fitz's hotel Mark looked in the rearview mirror where he found a totally different Olivia than he saw there the day before. He knew what the difference was. The car stopped and Olivia felt a now familiar flutter in her stomach as Mark opened the door. As she walked past him she thanked him and told him she would call when she needed him to pick her up. "Ms. Pope" he said, getting her attention, "Have a great night. Be careful. We've known each other a long time and you know I care about you like a sister. I don't want to see you get hurt." She smiled embracing him briefly then turned on her heel and rushed into the hotel.

The elevator ride seemed to take forever and the hall leading to his room seemed much longer than it had that morning. She slid the keycard into the lock and opened the door.

"Fitz?" she called, walking into the living area, "Hello?"

Taking a few steps towards the bedroom she caught her first glimpse of him, wearing jeans and a fitted white t-shirt, he moved to her taking her in his arms. "Now I can give you that kiss I've been waiting for all day," he said firmly pressing his lips to hers, moaning at the wonderful sensation, "I missed you."

"Fitz, we've spent almost the entire day together" Olivia giggled.

"But not like this" he smiled kissing her passionately again. She pressed her hands firmly up and down his back stopping on the back pockets of his jeans. She pulled him into her as they reacquainted themselves with one another. He moved them over to the couch, pressing her against the cushions. She suddenly felt like they weren't alone and pulled back, quickly wiping at her lips as her eyes met with those of a woman now standing in the doorway of the suite.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt" the other woman said as she blushed.

"Sarah," Fitz replied to the woman. As he turned back to Olivia he could see confusion and shock in her eyes, "Livie, this is Sarah" he introduced them, "My sister."

Olivia stood; straightening her clothes then extended her hand to Fitz's sister. The young woman shook her hand and smiled warmly, "That suit looks fantastic on you, Fitzy has great taste."

Fitz put his arm around Olivia with pride, beaming at his sister, "I told you she was breathtaking". He placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek and for the first time since they met she felt like they had a sliver of hope to survive the real world. "Livie, Sarah owns a boutique on Fifth Avenue. She brought some dresses for you to take a look at for the fundraiser." Olivia felt her eyes mist as she looked at the two full racks of clothes Sarah had left in the bedroom. Is this man for real? She wondered, figuring she was in the midst of a spectacular dream and would soon wake all alone in her bed. "Really?" she managed, still fighting back tears, "You did this for me?"

"I'd do anything for you Livie" he replied holding her closer, "Anything"

"So are you ready to start trying some things on?" asked Sarah heading towards the bedroom. Olivia nodded and followed behind her expecting Fitz to come in as well. When he didn't follow she turned to him, "Are you going to help me pick something?"

"That's Sarah's territory," he answered, "I want to be surprised when I see you Saturday night." Olivia thanked him again, this time kissing him passionately.

"I'll go pick up our dinner" Fitz walked towards the door, "You ladies have fun."

The door closed behind Fitz as Sarah and Olivia busied themselves finding the perfect dress and chatting, mostly about Fitz. When he returned to the suite Fitz found his sister sitting on the couch with Olivia drinking wine and laughing loudly. He couldn't help but notice how much better Olivia fit in with his sister than Mellie ever did. Sarah stood as Fitz finished bringing the food into the room and began to say her goodbyes.

"Liv, it was so great meeting you!" she smiled and reached to embrace Olivia, "I hope you two have a good time at the fundraiser."

"Thanks again, Sarah," Olivia replied returning the hug, "It was so fun hanging out with you and you have amazing taste in clothes."

Sarah kissed her brother on the cheek and gave him a wink, "Have a great night Fitzy. Love you" She pulled him into an embrace and whispered, "She's amazing. Be good to her." She planted another kiss on his cheek and swept out the door.

"So what's for dinner Governor?" Olivia asked walking to the table where Fitz was setting out plates. "Pizza? Really Fitz?"

"What? I love New York style pizza. And I told you we would have my kind of dinner." He smiled, brushing past her to take something else out of the bag he had carried in, "The kids and I have pizza every Friday night, it's kind of our thing."

Fitz put a piece of pizza on each of their plates, pulling Olivia's chair out so she could have a seat. Dinner was a mix of relaxed conversation and gentle silences. As they were finishing their meal Fitz took Olivia's hand, suddenly growing serious, "Livie, you know I go back to Pennsylvania the day after the gala…." His voice trailed off as he processed the thought.

"I know" a wave of nausea hit Olivia, "When do you come back?"

"Well, the plan is for you and Cy to meet us in California in two weeks," Fitz was much more comfortable talking logistics than he was discussing emotions, "From there we're on the trail full-time until you get me elected."

"So, for those two weeks?" Olivia felt selfish asking this very married man to make time for her while they were separated, "What do we do?"

"We'll talk….I'll call you" he patted the hand she hadn't realized was fisted around her napkin, "Livie, I don't want you to think that I do this," he gestured around them, "I've never broken my marriage vows before, I don't like that I've done this to you, to us."

"You didn't do this to me or to us," Olivia replied taking his hand, "We did this, both of us…together."

Fitz stood and pulled Olivia into his arms inhaling the scent of her hair. They stood like that for several minutes enjoying the silence. Finally Olivia spoke, "So what's our plan for the rest of the night?"

"I was thinking we'd watch a movie," responded Fitz leading Olivia to the couch, "It's probably what I'd be doing if I was at home. After that, we'll see what happens."

Olivia couldn't help but giggle at Fitz, "We'll see huh?"

Fitz handed Olivia the remote control and let her pick the movie, laughing when she chose "The American President". They sat together on the couch, his arms around her, her head resting on his shoulder, until the movie ended. Fitz leaned his mouth close to Olivia's ear and whispered, "Spend the night with me Olivia" The words caused warmth to spread over Olivia as she acknowledged to herself how much she liked spending time with Fitz and how special their time together was to her.

"I just want to sleep next to you." Fitz continued, "We are going to spend two weeks apart. That is two weeks I don't get to look into your eyes, two weeks I don't get to hold your hand or touch your face, two weeks I don't get to have you in my arms." He stood up from the couch and took her hand, leading her to the bedroom. They undressed and climbed into bed, holding each other closely as they continued to talk. Their conversation covered various topics from family to favorite television shows to childhood memories. When Olivia grew silent Fitz knew she was deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" he asked tilting her chin up so her eyes met his.

"Just this…how we got here…" Olivia looked around the room, "I mean one minute I'm trying to help out a good friend and the next I meet you." She paused, not sure she should continue. "Fitz, I don't do this either, this is not who I am. I don't skulk around in the shadows. I don't date married men." Olivia could see her last comment struck his heart, "I'm sorry but that is what you are, you belong to someone else."

He pressed his lips to hers wanting her to stop talking, "Shhh….Livie" Olivia pulled back, meeting his eyes again, "Let me finish….and I don't care. I do not care that you are married." She heard an audible gasp escape Fitz's lips at her admission, "I hate that I don't care, but the honest truth is that if I had the choice to stop kissing you the other day or to not follow you into the elevator…" she paused thinking of the inner struggle she felt the night before as she watched him walk, shoulders hunched, head bowed into the elevator. "I would not change a thing. That makes me a terrible person doesn't it?"

Fitz rubbed her back as he tried to explain his feelings to Olivia, "You're not terrible Livie, this situation isn't ideal for sure but I don't regret what's happened either" he began, "When I first started this bid for president I wasn't sure I wanted it, I'm still not, but I also really couldn't see myself doing it. Being governor is fine but it's really what Mellie wants for me, I wouldn't have chosen that for myself. I have lived my life doing what other people thought I should do, what they thought was 'right' for me to do, never what my heart told me to do." He kissed her forehead then continued, "Even with Cy's expertise I didn't feel confident, didn't feel like I could fake my way into the White House as I've faked my way my whole life. Then you walked into Cyrus' office and I saw myself, the real Fitz, in your eyes. You made me want to choose, to follow my heart. You made me believe that I could be Governor or President or anything I wanted to be. Maybe we're both being selfish but I feel like I deserve it. I deserve to do what is right for me. I deserve to be happy. You make me happy, Olivia Pope. I don't know how we'll manage this situation but together we will get through it. I have to believe that or I won't be able to go back to my life. I won't be able to go back to Pennsylvania and be a good father and a good governor if I know that you're here blaming yourself."

Olivia took a moment to absorb what Fitz had said then laid her head back on his chest listening to the sound of his heartbeat. If only they could lay like this forever, this part was simple. Fitz and Livie were simple. With Olivia's hair draped across his torso, her ear to his heart, the fingers of his left hand running up and down her back, Fitz picked up his cell phone and dialed his home phone number.

"Hi Jackie" Fitz addressed the Nanny, "Are Gerry and Karen around?"

Fitz listened intently as Gerry told him all about his day at school and asked if he could read Fitz a bedtime story. Gerry struggled through the story having to ask his sister for help with several words, "Great story, Buddy!" said Fitz when he'd finished, "I wish I was there to read with you." Olivia smiled at his admission and placed a light kiss to his chest.

"Daddy, when are you coming home?" Gerry asked him in an excited voice. Fitz informed him that he would be home Sunday afternoon which thrilled the little boy. Fitz then asked to talk to Karen. She reported that she got a perfect score on her spelling test. "Awesome, Kar! I'm so proud of you." He said in response to her news

"I couldn't have done it without your help Dad," she said quietly, "Are you really coming home this weekend?"

"Yes, I'll be home Sunday after lunch," said Fitz, "I miss you so much Sweet Pea. It's hard to be away from you and Gerry. I hope you're okay with me wanting to be President."

"Dad, we know you can win! You're the best Dad so we know you'll be the best President!" his kids gave the best pep talks, "And Mom told Grandma that Uncle Cyrus hired a lady that is going to help you be president." Fitz's stomach lurched, "There are a lot of people that are going to help me be President, Honey." He wasn't sure he should say anything else. "Miss Jackie says it's time for bed, I gotta go Dad, love you." Fitz said goodbye to the children and pressed 'End' on his phone.

He smiled down at Olivia, holding her closer to him, "This campaign is really going to be hard on them. I hope I'm doing the right thing" he said.

"Well I'm probably not the one to ask about 'doing the right thing'" she motioned between them, "I'm laying here naked with my married…."

"Your married what?" there was a little twinkle in his eye.

"I don't know, what are we?" she managed to meet his gaze.

"Can I call you my girlfriend?" he had to laugh at the sound of such a pedestrian term for the feelings that seemed to be growing between them.

She blushed sheepishly, "So what perks does your girlfriend get?"

"You mean besides lying naked with me?" he replied earning him a poke to the ribs, "Ouch" then he was thoughtful, "You get all the moments I can give you. When we're on the trail I want to spend as much time with you as I can without raising suspicion. This is all so new to me, feeling this way about someone. The only hard and fast rule is that my kids come first, they always will."

"I wouldn't want to be with you so much if that wasn't the case," she admitted both to Fitz and herself, "You are an unbelievable father, Fitz. It can't be easy being away from them knowing your wife" she couldn't bring herself to say Mellie's name out loud, "isn't as affectionate as they need."

"You're right" he conceded, "but I don't want to talk about Mellie. I want to enjoy the rest of our night together. How about we forget about the real world until morning?"

"Sounds good to me," Olivia reached up to kiss his lips, "I am very fond of this world at the moment"

Fitz ran his fingers lightly up and down her arm, "We will figure this out Livie, I promise"

They drifted off to sleep in one another's arms, content for the moment that they could find some way to make things work.