Hogwarts (Challenges and Assignments).
Moresome May — triad: Sirius/Hermione:Remus — (AU) Fake Dating!AU
Hermione burst into the library, nearly in tears. "Guys, I need a date for the Christmas dinner at the Burrow. Molly's mad because Ron and I didn't end up together and she's snubbing poor Lavender for being his fiancée, and…"
Remus held up his hand. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. You want us to pretend to be your boyfriends for Christmas dinner at the Burrow?"
"I knew you couldn't resist me," Sirius preened.
"Sirius, Remus, please do this for me," Hermione begged. "I promise I'll repay you."
"We don't need payment," Remus assured her. "We'll do it."
"We will?" Sirius asked.
Remus glared at him. "Yes, Padfoot, we will."
The black-haired man shrugged. "Sure, Kitten. We'll do it."
"Oh, thank you both so much!" Hermione launched herself at them and wrapped an arm around each man's neck.
Sirius patted her on the back, staring over her shoulder at his friend. We need to talk, he mouthed.
"What are we going to do?" groaned Sirius after they managed to shoo Hermione away, sinking into a chair by the fire. "We just signed up to be Hermione's bloody boyfriends, Moony!"
"Fake boyfriends," Remus corrected.
"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "And that's even worse! Moony, we're the guys she trusts to not make a move while we pretend to be her boyfriends."
Remus shrugged and sat down opposite Sirius. "I can do that."
"I bloody well can't!" griped Sirius. "Merlin, we live in the same house as a beautiful woman that neither of us will ever deserve. What's your little friend say about this situation?"
"Fine," Remus said. "You want to hear me say that I can barely stand it, that I want to burst into the bathroom while she takes her morning shower and dirty her all over again? That's what you want, isn't it?"
"Yes!" His anger seemed to evaporate. "I don't know if I can stand to pretend to be her boyfriend, Moony. I want to be the real thing!"
Remus stared out the window. "You and me both, Pads," he murmured. "You and me both."
They arrived on the snow-covered, overgrown lawn of the Burrow with a sharp crack. Hermione was sandwiched between the two men, holding onto their arms with a death grip.
"Bloody hell, I hate Side-Along," she groaned. "Who came up with it, anyway? I'll bet the entire contents of Gringotts they never experienced it."
Sirius laughed. "That's probably accurate, love. I wouldn't go against that bet."
Hermione let go of their arms and faced him. "Love?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
He shrugged. "It seemed appropriate, me being your 'boyfriend,'" he made air quotes with his fingers, "and all."
Remus gave them both a little nudge. "Come on, we're going to be late."
No one batted an eye at the sight of Hermione accompanied by Sirius and Remus.
Not even when she pecked them both on the lips and walked away to help out in the kitchen. Not even when Sirius and Hermione got stuck under the Weasley twins' magical mistletoe and he pulled her into his arms and snogged her firmly. Not even when Remus and Hermione teamed up for the after-dinner snowball fight and won and then disappeared for an hour.
They eventually went home, laden with gifts and leftovers pressed onto them by Molly. Hermione put the food in the fridge and took out a huge bar of chocolate from Remus's secret stash.
"What are you doing?" Sirius asked, watching her break it into little chunks and put them in a double boiler, popping a piece into her mouth every now and again.
"Making hot chocolate," she replied. She stirred the chocolate a few times and pulled a bottle of milk out of the fridge, pouring it into another pan and setting it on the stove.
Remus came down the stairs, having taken off his uncomfortable clothes and put on flannel pajama bottoms and a thin, white, cotton shirt. "Merlin, I love you," he announced, putting his hands on her waist as she tended the warming milk and the melting chocolate. He rested his chin on the top of her head, marveling at the feel of her in his arms — she was so petite, he found it hard to believe she had fought a war.
She smiled, though he couldn't see it. "I love you too," she said softly. The milk began to bubble a bit so she turned off the burner and poured three mugs full. She spooned some of chocolate into each mug and stirred. "Grab yours?" she requested, picking her mug — a white one with a blue star on it — up and heading to the table.
They followed and sat down across from one another, on either side of the head where she sat.
"That wasn't too bad, was it?" Hermione asked, picking up her hot chocolate and blowing on it. "Pretending to be dating me, I mean."
The men glanced at one another. "No," Remus answered.
"Definitely not," added Sirius. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."
Hermione smiled at him. "And what if…" she flushed a delicate pink and stared at her fingernails, "what if I wanted to make this situation permanent?"
"As in, we pretend to be your boyfriends forever?" Remus asked.
She shook her head, not looking at either of them. "No…as in, we make it official. You know. Actually date one another."
Remus's gaze flashed to Sirius, who looked ecstatic.
"Count me in," they chorused.
word count: 911
