Sephiroth works for an ad agency a mesh between KH and FFVII, Sephiroth's nerves and threshold for emotional problems will be tested! Cloud and Sephiroth used to date; now, Cloud's being hired by the very company for which Sephiroth works! When sparks begin to fly, will a new addition to the staff come between them? It's not as emo as it sounds... please review! Vucrecient sugg., SephxCloud, CloudxLeon sugg., TsengRufus ch. 5. Reno's in it, too :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy, no matter how much I wish I did; if I did, both of the games would be rated "M" for sexy male-on-male action! XD
Just a quick author's note: this chapter is going to be the same scene, repeated from three different viewpoints—first Cloud's, then Leon's, and finally Sephiroth's—for a few reasons, three of which being that I was getting a little tired of calling Sephiroth "the silver-haired man," I'm trying to make a long chapter, and I'm getting annoyed at typing the word "Leonhart," when "Leon" is so much shorter. In short, even though it seems creative, I'm just being lazy and I'm in need of a change to keep my interest in the story. Enjoys! Oh, and by the way, if anybody can think of any more terms for "coworker," "employee," or "superior/subordinate," let me know, because I'm totally running out of words to describe these people:3
I'm going to start a "suggested listening" feature, which I've seen done with other fanfics, and I always really liked it. However, I'm probably just going to suggest whatever I'm listening to at the time that I wrote the chapter, because music usually inspires me to write this insane-o crud! X3 Hopefully it will pertain to the chapter, though :3 Okay, I need to stop talking!!!
SUGGESTED LISTENING: "Out of My Head"—Fastball, from the album All the Pain Money Can Buy; "Almost Lover"—A Fine Frenzy, from the Almost Lover Single--
Cloud had slipped away from his coworkers while they were childishly arguing and escaped to the bathroom on the fifth floor, one floor above where he normally worked. He had his hands on the counter, on either side of the sink, and was staring at his reflection. Looking into his own pale blue eyes, he couldn't understand why Leon and Sephiroth were fighting over him. He'd never had two men vying for his attention at once before, but instead of feeling flattered, he was just exasperated.
Those two jokers are probably still giving each other the "pokeage" treatment and arguing over whose sweater looks better with whose complexions... They're like a couple of high-school girls fighting over a prom date, he thought, and lowered his gaze to the sink in front of him. Warm water was streaming from the faucet at a steady rate. He leaned forward and cupped his hands under the water, then splashed some onto his face when the makeshift cup had been sufficiently filled.
Looking back up into his reflection, Cloud wondered why Sephiroth and Leon were so adamant about dating him. Both men were astonishingly attractive; Leon, with his chocolate-brown locks and deep, enigmatic eyes, and Sephiroth, with his strikingly beautiful silver tresses and seductive sea-green eyes that seemed luminescent at times. Either one of them could just as easily find another person that was much more attractive to date, but they insisted on this ridiculous (and until now passive-aggressive) feud over the blonde.
"What do I have to offer that they think is so different?" Cloud inquired after his reflection, and to his surprise, he received an answer, but it wasn't coming from the mirror.
"So many wonderful things," was the answer, and it came in the form of a brunette with profound blue eyes and a red sweater-vest that was standing in the doorway.
Cloud did not turn to face Leon. He was afraid of what would happen if he did, remembering Sephiroth's kiss in the other man's office ten minutes earlier. Instead, he contented himself with looking at Leon's reflection in the mirror in front of him.
"What do you mean, 'wonderful things'? I'm average."
Leon came all the way into the room, letting the door close gently behind him. "You really think that?" he asked, his face not indicating what type of answer he wanted to hear.
Cloud frowned sternly. "Damn it, why do the stoic ones always go after me?" he asked, more of himself than of Leon. The brunette let loose a chuckle, leading Cloud to echo the sound. His grip on the counter loosened as he relaxed.
"Cloud, you're far better than average. Look at you. Your looks alone make you one in a million. Light blonde hair, those all-too-expressive blue eyes, your alabaster skin—but listen to me, I sound like a cheesy romance novel." Leon was now leaning against the outside of the stall, his arms folded across his chest.
Still not turning around, Cloud continued to frown. "So I've got looks. So what?"
Leon smiled and said, "What you've got to offer goes far beyond looks. I love how you're so expressive without meaning to be; I envy how everything in your world is black and white—you hate things and love things, and you dedicate yourself so loyally to everything you do. You're cute, and funny, and the way you wrinkle your nose at stuff you don't like is the most adorable thing I've ever seen."
Cloud was about to reply when he realized that Leon was right behind him, and that he had his arms around his own, his hands resting gently on top of the other's. His counter-argument died in his throat when the brunette whispered into his ear, his breath hot and suggestive on his sensitive skin, "I didn't think love at first sight was possible, Cloud... thanks for proving me wrong."
Cloud gasped as a pair of lips were pressed to his own and, after a moment's hesitation, returned the kiss.
--
Leon, incensed beyond belief at the infuriating secretary and embarrassed at his lack of maturity, had made a quick getaway into the hallway under the pretense of looking for Cloud. Of course, this was his ultimate mission, but for now, he just wanted to get away from his boss and the grumpy Sora.
He scanned the hallway. There was no immediate sign of Cloud.
Furthering his search, he poked his head into the break room. All he saw was a pile of bagels and a pot of cooling coffee. Burt was also perched upon the pole from which the drapes hung in front of the window. Burt had been the office pet, a rather ugly and loud myna bird which Reno had insisted upon adopting to boost morale a year previously, but he (the bird, not Reno) escaped a week previous to the "pokeage" fiasco, and was discovered to be partial to nipping sharply at people's fingers when they tried to "rescue" him and return him to his cage, so the fruitless attempts at returning the myna bird to his original home had been given up.
Since Leon was not at all interested in dating Burt (let alone having his fingers mercilessly bitten) he left the break room and searched the rest of the rooms on the fourth floor, but found no sign of the blonde. He decided to look on the fifth floor, which was where he had initially worked, and was familiar with the turf.
He looked in the bathroom first, and got lucky, opening the door just in time to hear Cloud ask himself, "What do I have to offer that they think is so different?"
Leon smirked to himself and leaned in the doorway. "So many wonderful things," he offered, and was pleased with himself when he saw Cloud jump. But when the blonde didn't turn around, he figured that the other man was angry with him, and decided to move in slowly to seduce Cloud.
"What do you mean, 'wonderful things'? I'm average," came the response, and Leon was shocked to find that Cloud was apparently unaware of his potential as a lover. He tried his best to keep his poker face on, and came further into the bathroom, saying, "You really think that?"
Cloud made a cute little pout, which was probably meant to be a stern frown, and, still not turning around, asked, "Damn it, why do the stoic ones always go after me?" That broke the tension, and they both laughed, a little uneasily. Leon could see the color coming back to Cloud's knuckles, which had turned white from clutching the edge of the counter. He took it as a good sign and moved closer when Cloud was distracted; he told him what he thought of his looks, how they made him one in a million.
Cloud cynically replied, "So I've got looks. So what?"
Leon decided then and there that Cloud was too dense for his own good, at least about his value to the dating populous. He made up his mind to let Cloud know just how he felt about him. "What you've got to offer goes far beyond looks. I love how you're so expressive without meaning to be; I envy how everything in your world is black and white—you hate things and love things, and you dedicate yourself so loyally to everything you do. You're cute, and funny, and the way you wrinkle your nose at stuff you don't like is the most adorable thing I've ever seen."
As he was speaking, he was closing the last of the gap between himself and the blonde, and he put his arms around Cloud's, settling his hands upon the younger man's. He rubbed Cloud's knuckles with the pads of his thumbs and whispered, in his best seductive voice, "I didn't think love at first sight was possible, Cloud... thanks for proving me wrong." Then he leaned his head around so it was in front of Cloud's and captured his lips in a soft kiss, which was, to his delight, reluctantly returned.
--
Sephiroth scowled at the fact that Leon had gotten a head start in the search for Cloud, but he knew just where the blonde would be, since he had known him before.
Cloud usually ensconced himself in the nearest bathroom, since people usually don't bother others in such establishments and because he was melodramatic that way. After checking all the stalls on the fourth floor, Sephiroth went down to the third floor, and, finding nothing but an unflushed toilet and an overflowing trashcan, went up to the fifth floor to check the bathroom there.
Hearing Cloud's voice, Sephiroth felt a surge of triumph. He was about to open the door when he heard Leonhart's voice as well. He was saying something about how beautiful he thought Cloud was.
How sappy, thought Sephiroth, he sounds like a Harlequin romance novel. Cloud will never go for that; he might as well give up now. And as he predicted, he heard Cloud bitterly ask, "So I've got looks. So what?"
The silver-haired man continued to listen in on the their conversation until all became quiet. Frowning with frustration, he leaned closer to the door.
"What are you doing?" asked a gruff voice.
Sephiroth whirled around. It was the fifth floor janitor, and from his nametag, he guessed that his name was Vincent. Vincent was wearing the standard, a tan hat-and-jumpsuit combo, and he had a cart full of cleaning supplies in tow.
"It's none of your business," he snapped in a hushed tone, and straightened, tugging on his suit jacket to right the imaginary wrinkles with which the jacket was plagued.
"Well, this is my bathroom. I don't let the suit types screw it up for me. We get raises every six months depending on our performances, y'know, and the boss does care if the bathroom is messy because we let you pen-and-paper white collars do whatever you want with it."
Sephiroth was affronted. "I wasn't doing anything to the bathroom! I wasn't even in there!" he exclaimed, still whispering. "And could you keep your voice down?"
"Why?" asked Vincent, pushing past Sephiroth and putting his ear to the door, murmuring, "Dropping eaves, are we?"
The silver-haired man blinked at the boldness of the custodial worker and whispered back, "No, I am not eavesdropping. It was completely by accident that I arrived at the door when they began their conversation."
Vincent graced Sephiroth with a disdainful look from his ruby-red eyes. "And you were leaning close to the door because...?"
"Because I didn't want to interfere and cause an awkward situation!" Sephiroth lied.
Vincent stood up straight and put his left hand on his hip; the other went to his cleaning supplies. "So why didn't you just go use a different bathroom? I think you're bluffing. You're Sephiroth, aren't you?"
"Yes, that's me..."
"Yeah, I'd've thought you'd be better at lying. You want me to keep my mouth shut about this?" Vincent looked nonchalantly at the hand on his cleaning supplies and fingered the frayed sections of the rag that was peeking out of the bucket of sanitized water on top of the cart.
Sephiroth gulped. He wasn't used to being on this end of the intimidation spectrum. "What... what makes you think I'd care if you told anyone?"
Vincent picked up the rag and picked at the protruding strings. "Your face. Besides, everyone knows that you're jealous of Leonhart. It's been the talk around the locker room for months." At Sephiroth's huff of resentfulness, Vincent amended, "We're janitors. Our jobs are boring. Probably even more boring than yours. Once everything's clean, you can't clean it again—there's no point. So we hang around and talk about you guys. This is the most interesting story we've had for months... except the one about Tseng."
Slightly thrown by this knowledge of the underground world of the janitors, Sephiroth queried, "Tseng...? The name sounds familiar..."
Vincent nodded, his long black hair shifting slightly with each movement of his head. "He's the custodial worker for the ninth floor... the only custodial worker for the ninth floor."
"Oh..." Sephiroth vaguely remembered seeing Tseng before and had an image of him scrubbing Rufus ShinRa's desk with vigor. "Wait... why does it matter that he's the only one who works that floor? There's only one janitor for every floor, right?"
"It's not 'janitor.' It's 'custodian' or 'custodial worker.' Stupid, I mean there isn't even a night shift for that floor."
He thought about it. "Well, I still don't think that's strange. I mean, the ninth floor is pretty much just the Shacho's office anyway, right? All he has to do is take out the trash and vacuum every once in a while."
"Right, and dust. So why keep him around all day?"
Sephiroth rubbed his chin. "...Rufus ShinRa makes a lot of Hot Pockets?" he guessed.
Vincent glared and threw up his hands in annoyance, one of which was still clutching the wet rag; sanitizer water was consequently splashed on Sephiroth's face. "You dummy... wait, what?"
The silver-haired man, wiping the water from his face, furrowed his brow at Vincent, who seemed unperturbed by the fact that he had thrown sanitizer water on a "suit type." "Well, Hot Pockets come in packages, don't they? Maybe the Shacho makes a lot of them every day and so the janitor—sorry, custodial worker—has to take out the trash more often than is the norm."
Vincent sighed and shook his head. "How did you get a job that involves intellect? Hot Pockets? Please tell me you were joking. I and the rest of the cleaning staff think that Tseng and your Shacho are having an affair."
Sephiroth blinked. "But—but that's imposs..." he trailed away, considering if it were the truth. "Come to think of it, he is always in there... and once when I was new working here, I walked in on Tseng giving the Shacho a shoulder massage... but I just thought..." His eyes widened. "How much do you think he gets paid?"
Vincent nodded again. "That's what we keep asking him. But he keeps insisting that his relationship with the Shacho is purely professional. If you want me to keep quiet about..." he used his index finger to point between Sephiroth and the bathroom door, "...this... You're going to have to gather evidence that supports our theory."
"Wait, you don't mean...!" Sephiroth gasped. He couldn't spy on the Shacho! Just thinking about the consequences made him nervous.
"I do mean," said Vincent. "You're going to have to find proof that Tseng and your Shacho are having a hot, sweaty love affair... or more than just the janitors will find out about your little listening session. I'll be back later to clean. No sense doing it now."
For the second time that day, Sephiroth gulped as he watched Vincent wheel away his cleaning cart. Gather believable evidence that Rufus ShinRa was having sex with his janitor or have Cloud find out that he had been eavesdropping on his make-out session? He didn't like either of those choices...
He walked away, so deeply wrapped up in his thoughts that the moans coming from the bathroom didn't register in his mind.
--
So, what did you think of the SUPER-LONG chapter? I like making people janitors :3 I was thinking about making Vincent a security guard, but then he wouldn't have much of a tie to the rest of the story. I'm posting a picture of Burt on my deviantart (just type "cloudmouth" into the searchbar). He likes to talk, but that part got edited out in the final draft of this chapter. But just know that Burt does definitely have a purpose in this story; he'll come in handy (somewhat) later on! Sorry that there's no Riku, like I promised, but I didn't want the chapter to get out of control. I'll probably incorporate him into the next one. Until later, then!
H and Ks,
Chatty Harry. :3