Yes, I know this was a title for 'Secrets'. But give me some credit, I've written about 50-something chapters in all with these fics, so I'm probably going to be using some of the same words.
Chapter 9
"Gespräch"
(Conversation)
Mello walked into the cabin and took a deep breath. Emil was sitting on his bed as he had expected, reading a book. He didn't look up when Mello entered, though the blond boy knew that Emil could hear him come in.
"Emil?" he said, standing beside the bed and looking up to where Emil was.
"What?" the other boy responded, still not glancing up from his book.
"Can we just...talk about this situation?" Mello said hopefully.
"What's there to talk about?"
"Just come down here, would you?"
Rolling his eyes, Emil sighed and climbed down the ladder to the bottom bunk. "What?" he repeated, crossing his arms and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Just give this up, please.... What are you hoping for in this whole thing? I know it isn't Matt you want, but do you honestly think I'll like you anymore for doing this?" Mello asked.
"I don't expect you to do anything."
"Then why? If it's me you want, why did you ask for Matt?"
Emil gave a dry laugh. "See, that's the fun part." His eyes narrowed, his expression halfway between angry and amused. "It's no fun to be with the person you want, if they don't want to be with you. No, it's much more amusing to watch the look on their face when you take away the one person they care about," he explained.
Struggling for composure, Mello took a deep breath. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because, I'm sick and tired of just being the pathetic little puppy dog that follows you around," Emil replied angrily. "Because apparently -I mean nothing to you. Especially now that that little French boy has showed up."
"Emil, that isn't --" Mello stammered.
"Of COURSE it's true!" Emil retorted. "He's all you care about! Anytime you disappear, who is it with? HIM. And you ogle over him like a horny schoolgirl!"
"Th-that isn't true!" Mello protested.
"Just stop lying!" Emil cried, and Mello cringed.
"I-I'm not! I care about you, Emil!"
"Oh, right – which is why any time I try and talk to you when he's around, you shove me off like a wet dog." He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm really feeling the love there."
Mello's eyes filled with tears. "Emil, please...just stop this.... Give me the photo...."
"Why should I? Really. Why should I listen to anything you say? As soon as I give you the photo, you'll just run off with him and things will be just as they were before."
"Emil, that isn't true...please...."
"YES, IT IS! Gods, you know... you know what? You're a coward."
"A coward?" Mello repeated.
"Yes, a coward!" Emil said. "The only reason you want the stupid photo back is because you're terrified of the guys finding out that you like boys! In fact, you're so scared for them to find out, that you'll sacrifice your pretty little French boy to me – so I can do God-knows-what to him." He smirked.
Mello's eyes widened in horror. "If you hurt him, I swear I'll never forgive you. If you do anything to him, I'll hate you for the rest of your life," he threatened.
"And why should I care?" Emil scoffed.
"You know you do."
The other boy was silent for a minute, his jaw locked tight. "You know, you're not just a coward. You're also really selfish."
"Selfish?!"
"Yeah – you know, Matt could care less if the other boys know about that photo. He doesn't care if they know. No – the only reason he agreed to this deal is to protect your sorry ass. Because he knows that you don't want the boys to find out. The only reason that your pretty little French boy is in the position he is in now, is because you are too selfish and cowardly to step up and admit that you actually like boys! You're the one hurting him, not me. If you loved him at all, you wouldn't put him through this. But then again, what do I know?" He shrugged and hopped off the bed.
"Emil, please!" Mello pleaded, grabbing the other boy's arm as he attempted to walk away. "I don't want the boys to know, I don't! Please! But I want Matt!" His voice broke.
"Of course. Because it's always about what you want. Who you love, who you care about, who cares about you. Because everything in the world revolves around you."
"Emil..." Mello sobbed.
"Why do you care about him so much anyway? There's nothing special about him!"
"I--! I...I don't know," Mello said, tears streaming down his face. "But I do."
"Right.... Because apparently he's the only one who's ever cared about you." Emil rolled his eyes. "I forgot."
"Please, Emil... If you care about me at all, you won't do this."
"You're pathetic." He shook his head and began to walk away again.
"Wait!" Mello cried. "What are you bothering for, anyway? You two go to separate schools when camp is over – there will be no point after that, you can't continue this forever!"
Emil's lips curved into a smile. "I'm perfectly aware of that. And if you remember correctly, you and Matt aren't in the same school either. So there will be no point to your stupid little love after this. Unless you plan to work out some sort of long-distance arrangement." He gave a low laugh at the mortified look on Mello's face.
"You...you want this to go on for the rest of camp! You...you want to take him away from me!"
"Wow, brilliant deduction, genius. You deserve a medal," Emil said sarcastically. "Jesus..."
"Emil, please!" Mello cried, his vision blurred through his tears. "I'm begging you, just stop this!"
"If you really want him back so much, then just admit yourself to the guys and face facts! I've had to go through Hell because of my feelings, and you deserve the same experience!"
With that said, he jerked out of Mello's grip, and strode out of the cabin, the screen door slamming loudly behind him.
Later that afternoon, Mello rested his chin in his hand, staring off into space. He hadn't thought about it until now, but...Emil was right. It was his fault Matt was in his current situation, and only he could get him out of it.
He could feel his hands shaking, and was sure his face was pale. Just the thought of it made him sick to his stomach. Maybe it would be easier if he just continued living the lie. No...he couldn't do that to Matt. If he cared about him at all, he had to do this.
The other boys weren't looking at him. They were all absorbed in their own conversations, sitting on their beds. Emil was just coming through the door, Matt right behind him. The sight of them together only reminded Matt of why he had to do this.
As soon as he caught Matt's eye, Mello motioned the other boy over to him.
"Hey – what is it?" Matt asked, sitting down beside him.
"Listen...I've been thinking about this, and – the only way out of this, really...is for me to tell the guys..." he trailed off.
"M-Mello, no! You can't do that!"
"But it's my fault that you're in this situation. I'm the only one who can end this."
"But Mello...don't worry about me, okay? You'd be trashing your reputation here!" Matt protested.
"I don't care. I-I don't want to put you through this any longer."
"Just...just think about this, okay? Are you sure you really want to do this?"
Mello nodded. "I have to."
"But Mello --!" Matt was cut off when Mello abruptly stood up.
"Guys – I need your attention," he said, loudly enough for everyone to hear.
The other boys turned to look, curious by the interruption.
Mello's face immediately went pale, and then he took a deep breath, looking straight at Emil. "I...I have a confession to make."
-End of Chapter 9-
