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The Supernatural characters belong to Kripke Enterprises and the CW. No money is being made from this story. It is for entertainment only.
Deanmon Gone Wild
Chapter 10
My Darling Brother
From the Scene In Episode 10.3 "Soul Survivor": Sam and Dean discuss Dean's possible death as a demon: "I might possibly deserve it, Sammy. You don't know what I've done."
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Dean's head hung down in exhaustion. Sam had stabbed him with that syringe so many times the skin of his arms felt soft. The back of his neck stung with puncture wounds. The worst of it all was that he could feel them all; every needle prick.
This wasn't a good sign. Deanmon laughed at injury. Every mark could be ignored and healed almost instantly. Dean held his breath as all the memories rushed back. All the emotions and the guilt crashed down on him. Most of all he felt afraid; afraid of what would come next. Slowly he lifted his head and stared at his brother.
"Hey Sammy," he murmured at his little brother. "Good job. You've got what you wanted; big brother's back.
Sam was sitting on the corner of the table, rolling the last of the blood syringes in his fingers. He stared at his brother's big green eyes. They were definitely green and soft; no longer black, shiny mirrors of a twisted soul.
Sam slid off the table and crossed over the Devil's trap. Once within reach of Dean he tilted big brother's head back by cupping his hand under Dean's chin. "Feeling better now, Dean?" he asked softly.
Dean's eyes flicked back and forth between Sam's mouth and his brother's hazel eyes. "I'm feeling more like myself now, Sam. I think you know that."
"Do you remember everything?" Sam said harshly. "Do you remember everything you did?"
"I'm sorry Sam. There's no way that I can ever ask for forgiveness and there's no way I can ever pay you back or make you whole again. Just know it was the Mark. It wasn't me. I swear it wasn't me."
"No, Dean." Sam's hand fastened more tightly onto Dean's face. "There's no way you can give back all the Deanmon has taken. There's no way you can pay me back at all. The same way you'll never save enough people to pay for the souls you tortured in Alistair's game room.
Sam leaned in, in complete control of big brother now. "I'll take what I want and I wanted my brother back. I'd like to punish Deanmon but I've just killed him off. Me and my little needles have had the joy of torturing that bastard for what? Near three days now."
Sam ran his fingers down Dean's neck, lightly touching the swollen, enflamed flesh he had been punishing with vicious needle jabs over and over. Each time he thought he was returning the pain of his rape back onto the Deanmon inside his brother. Deanmon had hissed and growled and spoke of his blood boiling under his skin.
Each blow, each puncture Sam had lapped up as if the sour taste of revenge was milk and honey. He sipped at the Deanmon's pain until even he was sated. Sam's stomach had begun to turn at the thought of drinking in even more bitter emotions.
The more he punished Deanmon the more the human Dean had come through. It got to a point when Sam could no longer balance one against the other and administering the blood cure was inflicting as much pain on Sam as it was on Deanmon. The ultimate sufferer would be Dean. Sam knew.
There would be no way to erase the Deanmon's memories from Dean's mind. Sam's brother had an unbearable amount of guilt already to carry from his time in Alistair's playground. Now the memories of Deanmon's actions would add even more to the load.
If would be no surprise if human Dean didn't try to drink those memories away. Sam knew he would have to watch carefully once he got Dean back. The man would have to be more than human to not try to self-medicate all the way to unconscious just to try for dreamless sleep.
"I think I should give you this latest syringe, Dean." Sam said softly. "Just to be safe. I'll try to be gentle but there's hardly an undamaged site on your skin now."
"It's alright Sammy," Dean dropped his head again. "Do what you think you need to do. I deserve it."
Sam stroked the side of Dean's face and the former Deamon leaned into the kindness. "I'm so sorry for everything, Sam." Dean sighed. "I have no idea how I can possibly make it up to you."
"Hush, big brother." Sam responded while searching for a spot on Dean that didn't look so red and sore. "It'll be fine. We'll work it out." He finally injected the last of the sanctified blood into Dean's bicep. Most of the injections had previously been to Dean's forearms or neck because Deanmon fought back and often attempted to bite Sam. Now Dean simply hung his head and breathed quickly through the pain.
Sam went back to the desk and sat to watch over his brother.
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An hour passed and to Sam it looked as if Dean had gone to sleep in his restraints. The big guy went to check that Dean's heartbeat was still strong and that his flesh had cooled to normal levels. For the first time in days he released his brother from his bindings. Dragging Dean up out of chair awoke the green eyed Hunter and Dean whimpered at the movement.
"My legs are numb, Sam." Dena said as he leaned into his brother's arms. "Sorry I can't carry more of my own weight. Thank you."
"Come on Dean," Sam responded. "I'm taking you to the bathroom to get cleaned up for bed. Won't that be nice? Sleeping in your bed again? Come on big brother. Let's get you cleaned up."
Sam helped Dean strip and left the man sitting in a chair in the shower stall equipped with grab bars. While Dean sat under the warm water rubbing his neck and arms clean of bloody spills Sam rounded up some clean sweats and a T-shirt for Dean. Sam glued his broken brother back together and got him to his room. He tucked Dean up in his bed and went to leave.
"Please, Sam, don't leave me" Dean called softly. "Stay with me, please."
Sam had his hand on the open door but turned around to look at Dean. "If you're sure you want me to stay, Dean. I will." He replied. "Wouldn't you like something to drink or maybe a bit of soup before you go to sleep?"
"Just bring me some water, Sam." Dean said. "I just don't want to be alone with my dreams tonight. I'll eat in the morning."
Sam got Dean's water then stripped off and climbed into bed with his broken brother. He wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders and pulled him into a close embrace.
"You really are a good guy, Sam," Dean muttered. "I don't think I would be so kind if our positions were reversed."
"Hush, big brother." Sam responded and kissed the top of his brother's head. "You know I love you. I have always loved you, even when we were pissed at each other I still loved you."
Sam bent his head and kissed Dean's closed eyelids then moved down the man's face until he found Dean's sweet lips. "I'll never give up on you big brother. You would have to kill me to get me to stop. Now rest. Go to sleep. I'll keep the nightmares away."
The End
