The next few months were far more interesting then I thought they would be. At first I hated the idea of throwing out my ripped and oversized jeans and shirts, but in the end, Aunt Kate convinced me. I might have even liked wearing those classy blouses and skirts. Also, I did get very used to driving 50 miles away to see a musical every other Friday. Aunt Kate got me addicted to the theatre, especially the music; all of the sudden I could never stop singing. Meagan would always get annoyed and throw pillows at me when I let any musical tune escape my lips. I guess she's not into musicals.

Oh, Meagan, she's my next-door neighbor, if you could call it next-door. I can't even see her house (or any house for that matter) from mine. It feels really good to call it that, "My house." There has never been a better feeling. Anyway, Meagan is only 12, but she's a very cool 12-year-old. I never had a female friend before, all my friends have always been guys. I'd talk to the girls in my class back in Tulsa; I'd just never hang out with them if I got the choice, because they kind of scared me. Make-up wearing, hair dying, short skirt wearing little sluts is what I thought of them all. I guess that isn't really true.

I also got my hair cut. I just had to mention it, because the day I came back from town with my hair cut to my shoulders, I couldn't stop looking in the mirror. I looked so different, so...good. Not to brag or anything, it was just simply amazing to me that, for the first time in my life, I didn't want to shatter the mirror because of the ugly little face I saw staring back at me. Aunt Kate was the person who first taught me to love myself, and in turn I began to love everyone and everything so much more. That lesson fit in with the others: history, math, English, and science. She would home-school me every day, except Sunday. Home-schooling was alright, the thrill of not having to wake up at an ungodly hour wears off after a while. I missed the gang, I missed Pony. That's really about it, though. I was at ease knowing there was no one to judge me, no socs to talk down to me, I could just be me.

"Mattie, come on, lets go!" Meagan showed up at the door one afternoon while I was attempting to shove the last bits of my lunch down my throat. I grabbed a coat as I hurriedly went outside to meet her. It was beginning to get colder real fast, ending our summer fun.

"Bye, Aunt Kate, I'm going outside with Meagan." I hollered up the stairs.

"Be home before dinner." She yelled back.

Meagan was sitting on the porch with her 2 brothers. Oh, no, her brothers!

"Sorry, I had to bring the brats along today." She grimaced. The oldest brother, Thomas, was a quiet one and he was pretty interesting for a 10-year-old. Andrew was 3, and very adorable, but he could run circles around us all day and never run out of energy. We continued through one of our mini-adventures anyways; running through the woods, hurdling over fallen trees, and jumping daringly over the creek, (Carefully avoiding the freezing waters as we stepped from rock to rock,) and many other things that put my last pair of surviving jeans to good use.

"You're gonna fall!" I laughed as Meagan balanced on a fallen log across the creek, her arms out like an airplane ready for take-off.

"I am not, you're such a baby. Why don't you cross?" She gave me a daring glance.

"Is that a dare?" I asked coolly.

"No" She stated simply, "I need you to stay over there with the dream- team anyway." She nodded towards her brothers who were skipping stones on the water.

"So now I'm the babysitter!" I threw my hands up in the air sarcastically, but grinned at her. I was thankful that it wasn't a dare, I have no balance whatsoever. When I was 9 and my mom got me involved in gymnastics, they spent 4 weeks in a row trying to help we walk across the balance beam. Maybe I'm permanently drunk or something and I can't walk a straight line. It wasn't only balancing I was horrible at, just about everything to do with gymnastics. I'm the only one in the gang who can't do a flip. I'm hopeless. Even Darry couldn't teach me.

That night I couldn't sleep, I didn't know why. I had a bad feeling inside of me, like something was wrong. No, I don't have a 6th sense about these things, every time a bad feeling came over me and I assumed something was wrong I was typically incorrect. But this was different, I was tired, but I was also restless. All of the sudden, I felt more disconnected from my world than ever, a helplessness came over me, but what was I so helpless about?

I was being stupid, everything was fine, it had to be.

I know it's short but I'm really busy this week. I should be able to put up another chapter on Thursday. Those awesome reviews might open up some time in my hectic schedule!