A/N: Hey everyone. This is the next chapter of Poker face. Sorry for the late update. Enjoy!
Memory 9: Out
-O-
January—Sakura Mikan's eyes widened some more as she stared incredulously at the hello kitty calendar on top of her desk. It was the ninth of January and she didn't even know. Her birthday (January first) was celebrated quite simply (for she doesn't want extravagant celebrations and it would have taken so much time planning), her friends celebrated New Year with her and that was all that matters. Natsume was there of course, she and Natsume were civil—they bade hello and goodbye cordially, and were simply nonchalant, as though their silly rendezvous never happened.
Moments before her eyes close every night, she revisited their trip—she retraced their steps, memorized his facial expressions, and listened to his laughs over and over until sleep engulfs her. She rarely dreamt of him, which she is thankful for. She had enough of him when she is awake and she wouldn't want him in her sleep. It was actually weird and frustrating in her part—even though she keeps up with her poker face, deep inside she is still in love with him. one time when they were together (with their friends of course), Natsume held her arm to guide her—she gave him a look of confusion, for he made her heart skip several beats and he just gave her one of his 'what the hell is your problem? I am just guiding you out because you're in my way' look.
And she concluded, that it was stupid of her to keep her feelings while the arrogant, asshole just acts nonchalant about it. it was driving her insane. Fortunately, Kanata is there to be her—er, distraction or help, in his opinion.
True enough, Kanata has been the best distraction God has given her ever, and probably the best boy friend a girl could ever want. She knows way to well that her fellow peers have been jealous of her. Kanata (true to his promise) became a distraction, a gentleman, a genie in certain times (he magically handed her howalons one time saying her wish is his command.), a mind reader (he brought Mikan to an amusement when she thought of going there), a best friend (He actually shared the same feelings towards the 'Last Song' which they read almost every time they are together—and all of Nicholas Sparks' works), a joker (he managed to make her snort out her pudding one time during a dinner with Yuka) and a prince. He didn't really come reining a horse or wearing armor—he just came and saved her.
Now that's a real prince.
People would kill to be me, right now. God, I am so lucky. She pulled herself out of her musing, walked to her mirror and stared at her reflection. She was still Mikan, she still has her long auburn hair—though shorter now, her eyes were still big, doe-like and brown, still the same height, much to her disappointment and still thin—well not really, last night when she weighed herself she discovered she gained a few pounds ("You—are heavy like an elephant!" Kanata exclaimed once he carried her on his back after carelessly spraining her ankle, which she does a lot even before they were an item. Of course he earned a punch after he said that) and she called Anna and cursed her for letting her become the taster of all her new recipes and getting her fat and ugly. Hotaru reprimanded her this morning, commanding her to apologize in an instant, for Anna sunk into depression.
She called, alright. And now as she stared at her new figure—she just realized that she shouldn't have screamed at Anna. She felt better, fuller and—light. She mentally noted to shop for some baking ingredients as a sign of peace.
She smiled at her reflection, who smiled back at her as if saying 'Hi to the new Mikan!' "Finally," she said to herself, "I'm out."
-O-
At exactly seven-thirty, Kanata knocked on their front door. Immediately, Mikan bolted towards the door, momentarily sneaking a glance at the mirror, she tucked a stray lock of her hair before opening the door and beaming at Kanata. He rolled his eyes playfully, "where have you been, Mars? It took you—" he glanced at his watch, "five minutes to open the door." She grabbed his arm and led him inside. Lately, Kanata has been spending his Friday nights in her house. The first time he appeared in front of her doorstep had been shocking; other than he went there with a text saying he's already around the corner her mother had been there. It was a crazy night, Yuka had been hyperventilating and asking him questions non-stop. It was embarrassing and infuriating that she had to pinch her mom to stop her and glare at Kanata for trying not to laugh at their behavior.
Yuka's voice pulled her out of her trance, "Mikan, I said 'I'll take my leave.' There's been an emergency…" Mikan zoned out once more, her mother always finds an excuse, every Friday to get out of the house to leave them alone. It was annoying and quite tactless. She even knows that Kanata noticed it already but he was polite enough not to point out, instead, ever Friday he would say "That's a shame—I managed to rent a movie …"
Just like now.
"Oi!" he pinched her cheeks and she blinked at him, he was frowning at her, "are you alright? Do you want me to leave? You look sick—maybe you should take a rest."
"No, no, no, no. I'm fine," she gave him an awkward smile, "what did you rent anyways?"
He grabbed the case and showed her, "really," she grinned, "Are you a fan of Nicholas Sparks? Oh, god! Who knew? Who knew?"
"shut up," he growled, "I know you're a girl and I know girls love Nicholas Sparks—it's just a coincidence that I brought The Notebook last Friday—"
"—also Nights in Rodanthe? She smirked at him.
"Drop it." he casually turned the television on and hit the 'video' button. "No popcorn?"
"We forgot to buy—"
"That's fine, I could live without popcorn, but the question is, can you?"
He gave her a 'drop it' look before turning his back on her.
"You're just angry because I found out you're—"
"I like the book better." She blurted out.
"Yeah, me too." Mikan took every ounce of control to shut her mouth and not tease him again.
"The movie is inconsistent with the book."
"Yes—especially the part where they said Jamie is a whore or something."
"It's kinda stupid, don't you think?" she said after a moment of silence, Kanata turned the lights off and went straight to the DVD player, unaware of her wistful gaze.
"What's stupid?" Kanata reached for the remote and pressed 'play', he slouched on her couch and turned to look at her and repeated the question, "what's stupid?"
"Them."
He snorted, "Care to elaborate, princess?" Mikan rolled her eyes at him, grabbed the DVD case on her table with effort and then gave him an obvious look, "Mandy Moore and Shayne West?" he frowned at her, "you have anything against them? Did they steal your candy?" he smirked at her and then dodged the pillow she hurled at him.
"No," she snapped, "Jamie Sullivan and Landon Carter."
"And why are they stupid?"
"It's just my opinion, okay? They grew up in the same place, studied in the same school—"
"You're regretting that they only fell in love when she was about to die?"
She nodded, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "listen," he started, "you understand that they're from different worlds—not planets! Don't give me that look, I mean, he's from the in-group and Jamie—well, she is a loser. How on earth were they supposed to communicate? And besides, they have nothing to talk about."
"So you're telling me that fate stated they'll be together at that time?"
"God's plan." Mikan giggled, knowing way to well that Jamie Sullivan is a religious person.
"It just sucks," she murmured, "I mean, they grew up together and they didn't realize that they were for one another—if they just set aside their differences, they would've spent more time together. Possible enough to create better memories."
"I will repeat 'God's Plan.' Besides, it's fiction." He justified
"It certainly shows reality to me in some points." She quipped, eyes trained on the television. He didn't retort instead he kept his eyes on the television.
"Say…"
"Hmmm?"
"Why did you agree to help me-?" she asked, "I mean—yes you said you wanted to, but—I recall that you said we're on the same boat. Care to elaborate, young man?"
His eye twitched and Mikan waited for him to say something. She doesn't want to pry—but at least she wants him to be honest to her, just like how she's honest with him. She knew instantly that he does not want to disclose the information, for he sat there, immobile, jaw tightening and eyebrows furrowing every now and then. She sensed his discomfort and actually felt embarrassed and nosy about her statement.
"Look—I apologize, I shouldn't have pried…" she felt her cheeks go warm as she bowed her head, she mentally told herself to know when to shut up.
"It's fine, actually—I thought this is the right time to be honest about that." He referred to his statement months ago, "though I found it quite rude."
She turned beet red and buried her face in her hands. "Sorry."
He waved her off and sat up straightly, "among all the books of Sparks—A walk to remember has been my favorite."
"Why?"
"My first love died at an early age—and no, she didn't die of cancer. Hypothermia. Three years ago when winter arrived in Japan—my family, together with Rin's family went to our winter house. I hated snow at that time. I hated its wet feeling, I hated the cold, I hated it—I hated winter. But she changed my view towards snow—during that trip, she made me build a snowman with her, silly snow angels, I also remember having a snowball fight with her—I didn't feel cold, I didn't hate its wet feeling—I felt alive." He smiled at the memory, "she was smiling, laughing—she was as alive as I was. But I didn't realize it will be the last time—I fucking didn't."
She swallowed thickly as she waited for the continuation, "after lunch the two of us went skiing alone. Our parents were tired and they couldn't keep up with our energy. We promised not to go far but then Rin brought up the subject about snow angels—the real ones. She said when we find one, we could make a wish and it will come true. I wanted to make her happy—and so we sent forth to find a snow angel—we went too far, I didn't notice and before I knew it. I knew we were lost. But then I heard her squeal and saw her holding on to a block of ice. It was a snow angel, that's what she said, the two of us were fascinated—it was pure bliss. That was until the blizzard came. We didn't know anything about the blizzard, we couldn't see anything. I grabbed her arm and yanked her away—moments passed. My feet were tired and so were hers. We were freezing but I didn't want to give up and so I carried her, she wasn't heavy but I was tired, my body couldn't take the cold and her weight—I found just a small space cramped in between rocks. I set her down and stayed there with her… afterwards—" his voice cracked, "she wished—she wished to that god damned snow angel to find our way home. I bit my lip and thought of a way to save her—save us."
"You know what I did?" he asked bitterly,
She shook her head.
"I left her."
Mikan looked down on her hands, "but you needed to leave—you need to get help! It—it wasn't your fault." She timidly took his hand, "don't beat yourself."
He snatched his hand away and clenched it, "it was! It bloody hell was! We shouldn't have gone for that stupid snow angel! I should've thought of other ways to save us. I shouldn't have left her! I should've—I should've kept her warm! I shouldn't have left…I shouldn't."
"You acted on instinct," she justified. "You did the first thing that came into your mind. It wasn't your fault."
"While we ran back to her—I felt so cold inside, I was so scared. I imagined her, imagined her smiling at me and saying: "you came back!" I imagined her embracing me, thanking me for what I've done—but when we reached her—my whole world fell apart. I didn't see her smile, I didn't hear her voice—I just saw her there, white, pale, cold and rigid—it was so painful. I remember her father pulling her into his arms, rubbing her arms to give her warmth. I can still hear his soothing voice waking her up—I can still smell his tears, I felt his pain; his only daughter dead because of me." He sucked a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I was so stupid—I was a coward. And I know, even though they don't show it—I know they blame me for her death. I just know.
"Everyday I imagine myself in that situation—I imagine myself staying with her throughout the blizzard—if I only did that…maybe, maybe it would've made a difference. every night I wish to dream about her—I wanted to apologize, I wanted to talk to her—but god never gave me a chance to see her again, and I blamed him for her death—I blamed him for the blizzard. I became bitter and untrusting towards him. it was immature, but thatw as all I can do." he faced her and squeezed her hand, "I want to move on—I want to forget."
As she rubbed his back in a soothing manner, Mikan's thoughts drifted about their situation—she is trying to move on from a relationship, whereas he is trying to move on from a tragic past. True they were in a boat—but it wasn't the same anymore—hers was still afloat while his—she watched him clench and unclench his fists—his was sinking.
-O-
"So you're leaving us to be with your boyfriend?" Sumire exclaimed as they stood in the parking lot. They were going to Hotaru's place to hang out and probably just goof around when Mikan (dejectedly) told them she couldn't come—earning several disdainful looks from her so called 'friends.' Hotaru directly mentioned to her a few hours back that they have something to talk about (she knows it is about Valentine's day or probably she just wants to talk about her, meaning Mikan's, love life.) and now, as Mikan sheepishly ran her hand through her hair and avoided, pretty much everyone's glare, Sumire's eyebrows met.
"—Uh, I can always come next time." She offered with a smile, she caught Ruka's eye and pleaded. Ruka, being the soft one, tried to cut off the conversation between Sumire and Mikan only to be shoved into the car by Hotaru.
"No. you have been neglecting us and I notice it young woman."
She winced, sighed and finally sucked in a deep breath. "Fine. I will come with you guys."
"I sense a 'but'coming." Koko said Natsume was beside him together with Luna (the other reason why she didn't want to come.) and he was giving her a 'give it up' look. Yeah right, as if I will give this special day up.
Mikan motioned Sumire to lean towards her, once she was near enough, Mikan placed her lips against her ears. "but—and I am serious about this—I'll tell Koko and then probably Hotaru to blackmail you, too, that you, Sumire, have slept with one of our teachers in order to pass his subject because he didn't accept your bribe." Sumire released an outraged gasp, "Now tell me: should I neglect you or should I stay with you guys? This is a special day and I don't want to miss this. Besides I don't want to be with that—slag—no offense, and hang out with her."
She released Sumire who was beet red and trying to keep herself from strangling Mikan, she scoffed, the way she usually does and turned her back on her, "Fine. Enjoy your special night." She herded the trio to the car and snapped at Koko who had been asking her what made her agree.
She turned away from them and proceeded to her boyfriend who was currently leaning against his car, carrying a look of boredom on his face, "let's go?"
"Yeah, I managed to get away from them," she grinned, "who knew blackmailing could be this fun?"
"Imai." He smirked, strapping his seatbelt in place, "birds of the same feather—"
She laughed, "Now, where are we supposed to go? It's cold—have you brought a scarf with you? I expect that we will not go to a cold place." he rolled his eyes at her and ignored her question. Ever since their heart-to-heart talk (Kanata scrunched up his face whenever she teases him about it.) Kanata had been open to her about his life: he talked about his family (about his parents who were both artists "That's why you paint!"), his older brother who is now taking up his law proper in Tokyo University; his habits; his favorites and some other topics that they rarely discussed before—they never had a conversation about Rin. Mikan was quite considerable not to bring her up again for she does not want to see him sport a depressed face.
"Where are we going?" she asked him again.
He smiled at her, "Mt. Takao—"
"Are you crazy? It's freezing now," she exclaimed, "and besides, what are we supposed to do there?" she frowned, "I really don't like climbing mountains."
He snorted, "We're going to ride a funicular or a chair lift."
She started to squeal, "Seriously? I haven't ridden a funicular! Oh god, now I know why you came to my life!"
-O-
Mikan held on his hand as they waited in line. Kanata who was standing beside her with eyes looking at the surroundings suddenly turned his attention towards her and grimaced. She looked at him questionably before sneezing. It was cold—freezing even and she was glad that snow did not fall today. He chuckled ruefully and rubbed her nose, "are you Rudolph?" she hit him squarely on the chest before huffing and turning away. "Kidding, your nose is red." She rolled her eyes and fixed her scarf. She mentally scolded herself for agreeing to go out with him—she didn't exactly regret her decision but she is freaking freezing, she couldn't even feel her fingers right now. She immensely hoped that she will not acquire frostbite.
Sensing her pensive mood, he glanced at her and raised his eyebrows, "I take that you're not enjoying."
She gave him a murderous glance, "here I am freezing to death, of course I am not enjoying! I really hope you have a sweet surprise once we get there."
"Sorry to disappoint you, I actually didn't plan a sweet surprise." He smirked at her as he led a shell shocked Mikan into the funicular.
"I-" she sucked in a deep breath, her eyes glistening with emotions as she stared at this setting he has created—it isn't even romantic but it was enough for Mikan to make her swoon and mentally start melting for meeting him. Kanata planned a picnic (during winter, I know it sounds so crazy)—complete with the blanket, the picnic basket which contains the food and fire. The scenery was just grand—from where they stand Mikan could clearly see Mt. Fuji and the Tokyo Lights—truly a sight to behold. She absentmindedly squeezed his hand and tried to express her gratitude towards him.
"You shouldn't be surprised about this," he said, "You perfectly know that I always create this—'fairytale setting' whenever I take you out." He stole a glance at her and noticed her dumbstruck expression on her face. She never got used to his surprises. It irked his nerves. Every time he does this, Mikan would allot a quarter of an hour to gape and take in the setting. "Why do you always do this, anyways? It's kinda annoying."
Mikan swallowed the lump in her throat and coughed a few times in order to find her voice, "I—'' she bit her lip and looked away, "Natsume—never, ever did this for me."
"I would really appreciate it if you stop comparing me to him." he said dryly.
She gasped, noticing her mistake, "I am not comparing you—I am actually complimenting you. Kanata, for goodness sake, any girl would want to have you! A true gentleman—a perfect prince! Natsume isn't the romantic type and I—I feel so blessed to have a chance to be with you, to experience this—to feel special."
He was speechless at what she said for a few moments. "Come on, we need to eat. I'm starving as hell."
They ate in comfortable silence; sometimes the silence would end by Mikan's laugh or his snort while observing one another's eating habits. He told her stories about the stars—what their names were and where they are found. Mikan gave him disdainful looks as he narrated—she scoffed at him for thinking that she doesn't know a thing about stars. And to prove that she was telling the truth, Mikan started pointing out all the stars he missed out and told him their stories—they ended up laughing out loud at their contest.
"What do you think about fairytales?"
"Well, they don't exist." He said simply, "I believe in that—but there is a happily ever after. It is up to us to create the ending we want."
She stared at him unbelievingly, "Oh God! You have that belief? Are you gay?" he glared at her pointedly.
"Believe it or not—my mother loved to tell me stories before going to bed," his eyes became wistful as he recalled the memory, Mikan watched him curiously. He looked so fond of his mother and those moments. She silently hoped that they are still close. "Of course now I commanded her to stop doing so, I mean—I am not a girl. Why the hell would she tell me endless stories about those princesses?"
"Because she thought you were gay?" she offered, he growled.
"It always the same—there would be a damsel, the prince would meet her—" he said.
"And then—" she pressed on, playing the game of What's Next as she watched the stars multiply in the sky. He followed her gaze and smiled in wonder, "and then what?" she asked.
"And then—"
She met his gaze and smiled adoringly, "-the prince will kiss the princess," he daintily reached for her cheek and pressed himself closer, the cold was gone and was replaced by his warmth—not only his body warmth but the warmth of his affection and gaze, "like this—" she closed her eyes and felt his gentle lips brush against hers—it wasn't as perfect as the kiss she shared with Natsume all the time—it wasn't needy and as passionate as his. But it was right, it was gentle, it was affectionate—it was like the kiss of the prince, enough to rouse Snow White, enough to prove that Cinderella is his princess and enough to wake Aurora from her deep slumber.
It was a kiss of realization.
"And they lived happily ever after…"
-O-
"As you all know, Valentine's day is just around the corner," Hotaru's finger pressed a button, the lights dimmed and the projector started to hum, from Hotaru's mouth the event 'Valentine's day' was just a special day involving thousands of yen. Her eyes were twinkling mischievously as she motioned everyone to look at the screen. The screen displayed hearts moving and the words 'Valentine's day' Operation Student Body abbreviated to OSB, and it bloody hell meant business. If girls love Valentine's Day, men despise it. Some of the guys involved in the events planning shuddered involuntarily and some began to palpitate—they are in for one hell of a Day this year.
A cough mediated through the room and all eyes were set on the person, it was Tobita Iinchou or Tobita Yuu. He nervously pushed up his glasses and smiled at Hotaru, "why are we suddenly putting great emphasis on Valentine's day—in the past years the activities were simple enough: giving chocolates and roses. Why are we doing this?"
"Well," Sumire drawled, "as I can see from Hotaru's euphoric face—I think this Valentine's Day is worth thousands of yens or rabbits."
Hotaru's eyes gleamed, "—which I have missed for how many years. I demand that I earn as much as I can this year to compensate."
"Do you have any ideas?" Mikan asked hopefully, she wants this meeting to end—the sooner the better.
"No, that's why I called a meeting." She snapped, mouth forming into a frown. Mikan rolled her eyes, this will take forever. "Do you have any ideas other than the usual flower and chocolate exchange?"
Change. A big change in the history of Gakuen Alice. that is what she is doing right now. The past presidents of the school never—I repeat—never paid so much attention to this said event. Valentine's day through the years were just normal days—for the single ones, while on the other hand Valentine's day for couples is a day for their acts of lasciviousness, displays of affections and scandals in the hallway to the disgust of the teachers. Detentions even became an excuse to make out with one another, it was clearly irresponsible and teachers detested that day.
Hotaru slammed her fist against the table, "I actually have an idea and I want everyone to participate—and when I say everyone, I mean everyone, I want everyone to participate." She pulled in a breath before speaking in a fast pace, "As you can see—I am in need of money, I want money, I love money—"
"More than you love Nogi-san?" a sophomore piped up who was immediately silenced by Hotaru's killer glare.
"As far as I know, Nogi is not money. I do not want to be interrupted anymore. As I was saying—I love money and of course, my idea brings money. Loads of it." she grinned evilly. "and it involves an auction."
"—don't tell me, we'll put in auction some of the football players' boxers, bras of cheerleaders or—"
"—no. but you're giving me an idea. Mikan, list them down." Mikan rolled her eyes and started scribbling. "I was actually thinking of putting people up in auction."
Most of them stared at Hotaru with pure shock, even Mikan dropped her pen, "people—auction?" Mikan laughed, "You can't be serious. That's akin to prostitution—"
"No sexual favors will be done from this arrangement. I will make sure of that," she turned to Yuu who nodded immediately. "I am not into prostitution. You must know that."
"let me guess, the person auctioned will be given to the highest bidder," everyone rolled their eyes, of course that's how it works, "and then he or she will win a date for themselves?"
"Precisely. Cancel the goddamned contract, Tobita. We will just announce that they will win a date." Hotaru glanced at Mikan, "Is that enough?"
"I think its cliché, Hotaru," Mikan said, "—during the school festival several classes already did auctions, I don't think they will like it anymore—it doesn't seem so challenging."
People began to whisper in agreement, yes that was quite true. People in this school have certainly ran out of ideas and chose to just copy what the other section has—of course the section that has several 'assets' manages to get all the audience, no doubt in that. Hotaru pondered for a while. This is money and she needs to think of a way or a method to stimulate people's drives in order to keep them satisfied and of course, to bring wheelbarrows of money. There needs to be a challenge, something that will make adrenaline rush through the course of their body like—
"Let's make this into a competition."
Eyebrows raised, everyone else straightened up as they lent an ear to their president, "I will need every connection you have to every club or organization in this school. We will need at least one person to put in auction in every organization; other than that—I have thought of a way for them to compete."
Mikan's eyes gleamed slyly, "Is this some kind of RPG?" she was smiling widely now, "this is going to be exciting!"
-O-
A/N: I guess all of you have a little insight about the next chapter—it is about Valentine's Day (cliché, I know) and the RPG game. This chapter was focused on Kanata and Mikan—as you've read for I thought that I have not been paying attention to them in the previous chapters. To those who are asking now if they are together: YES THEY ARE TOGETHER NOW. Hope that satisfies your curiosity.
Thank you (yes you, my dear reader) for continuing to support this story. Thank you so much!
